by Susan Bliler
“Home.”
Her response didn’t surprise him. They were both wearing on each other, but it had to be twice as difficult for her. She was a Beta, and not one who’d been gifted the position or born into it. No, Mira was battle born like him. She’d fought her way up to her rank, and because of it, her having to rely on him for anything would be grating, but having him—specifically—having to care for her had to be practically unbearable.
Still, as he shoved off the door, all his intentions of working harder to be more agreeable flew out the window as he approached her. The little challenging flare of her nostrils had his dick going hard, and once he was to her, he couldn’t stop himself from curling a hand around the back of her neck as he lowered his head and ran his nose up the satiny column of her throat.
The delicate scent of her hit him like a fucking sledgehammer between the eyes and had him questioning his own rationale. Beneath his hand, Mira tensed, but even her body’s rigidity couldn’t hide the sweet aroma of her arousal.
“She’s on the run again,” he rasped, lips just a breath from her skin. “Isn’t she?”
A shiver coursed through Mira before she jerked back and fumed, “It’s none of your business, cowardly wolf. I’m going home.”
Her words were hurled at him like bricks, and they connected solidly with his ego, evoking an ire that had him raging. “Who’s the real coward, sweetheart? You’re the one running away.”
“I’m not running,” she argued, but they both scented the lie. She flushed at her own tell-tale scent before snarling, “You attacked during the night! Like cowards!”
Unable to hold back, Tallius lunged forward, going nose to nose with Mira. “Back on this again. Fine! Let’s finally hash it out, because I’m sick of your fucking pity party, Mira. Your pack had weapons. Guns! Bought for the sole purpose of using them against the WG! What kind of shifters use weapons against others of their kind?”
Mouth falling open, Mira jerked back. “How . . . how do you know that?”
“I fucking know,” he snarled pacing away from her. “And, yeah, I suggested we attack at night, but only because I knew your Alpha planned on using those weapons . . . like a coward!”
Mira flinched and lowered her eyes. When she spoke, it was barely above a whisper. “He said the guns were for . . .”
“For what?”
Lifting her eyes to his, she said, “For protection from other misshapes. Skin walkers or vampires. He swore we’d never use them against wolf shifters. He said . . .”
“He lied,” Tallius cut her off.
Brows furrowing, Mira’s expression went hard. “It doesn’t change the fact that you did to us what some pack did to you. Do you get that? Can you even see it? That horrible thing that was done to you and War’s pack that forced you onto your path of creating whatever in the fuck it is you all think you’re creating . . . You did that same thing to my pack! You came in the night and decimated us. You ripped us from our homes and our families!”
“We didn’t take your lands.”
“What good were they when you didn’t leave enough of us to rebuild?”
“Your females and pups weren’t touched.”
“Great!” she scoffed. “So we start a pack consisting of nothing but women and children! How long do you think we’d last?”
“It’s not the same,” Tallius raged. “What happened to us was total fucking annihilation! And it was done out of greed for territory. They killed nearly every single member of my pack!” he bellowed. Stalking forward, he towered over Mira. “No one was spared. Not women, not children! War and I escaped by sheer fucking luck.” Collaring the back of Mira’s neck, he held her in place. “We asked Darius to accept the uniform laws. That’s all War wanted, an agreement from each Alpha to abide by a structured set of rules. They’re laws that protect women and children. Laws that prevent Alphas from devouring up the land. Laws that prevent stronger wolves from wiping out the weaker ones. War’s laws are good, Mira. They’re right and just, but Darius wanted nothing to do with them. Your Alpha refused, and by doing so, called the wrath of the WG on himself. War had no choice. Do you get that? Uniform laws only work if they are uniform! They’ve got to be adopted by everyone! Darius thought he was above that, and War told him what would happen. He knew what would come if he didn’t fall in line. He chose your pack’s fate. My pack was never given an option. What happened to my pack is nothing like what happened to yours. My pack was wiped out by an Alpha like Darius. Alphas who think they’re too good or too powerful to have to conform to something that would help us all, have no business being Alphas. I hurt you, Mira. I know that! But I was doing what I thought was right.” Sighing heavily, he quieted a moment before continuing. “I still think what we did was right, and . . . and I’d do it again.” His gaze held hers. Gut clenching as her eyes filled with tears, Tallius softened his tone. “But you’ll never see the need for what we did. Will you? You’ll never forgive me.”
A tear slipped free as Mira breathed, “It doesn’t matter if I see the need for it. Who am I, Tallius? No one! A lowly FourClaws leftover. What would my forgiveness mean to someone like you even if I gave it?”
Unable to stop himself, Tallius leaned down and closed his eyes. His lips brushed against Mira’s as he whispered, “Everything, Mira. Your forgiveness would mean everything.”
***
They stayed trapped like that for long minutes, just pressed up against each other with their lips a mere hair’s breadth apart. So close to a kiss, but not quite there. Their breath mingled until Mira wasn’t even sure whose air she was breathing. The heat from his skin melted into hers until she wasn’t sure where she ended and where he began. She wanted to pull back, and she wanted to stay pressed up tight against him. She wanted to hurl more hateful words at him, and she wanted to apologize. She wanted to hate him, and she wanted . . . Fuck, she just wanted! She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to give him what he was silently asking for. She wanted to lean just a breath deeper into him until their lips and their fates would be sealed. In that moment she wanted to give him anything and everything, but her damn foolish pride wouldn’t allow it. But the cruelty to say it like it needed to be said had vanished. It had evaporated under his admission and his gentle hands like dew in the morning sun.
Pinching her own eyes shut, her fingers curled into the material of his shirt as she breathed, “Tallius!” It was a plea. She needed him to take his hands off her and to back away. She didn’t have the strength or the willpower to separate them, so she was begging him to be strong for them both.
Air blasted against Mira’s cheeks with Tallius’s explosive sigh. Two seconds later his hands were gone. He was gone.
Chapter 15
Mira paced the cabin, afraid to go outside. Tallius had blasted out of the cabin with the ferocity of a freight train and had her leery of having another run-in. God, they were like oil and water. No, they were like gasoline and fire. They just didn’t go together. They never would.
Stomach grumbling, Mira went into the kitchen and threw the leftover spaghetti onto the stove and heated it up before setting out two plates and reheating the half loaf of garlic bread in the oven.
Tallius didn’t come back by lunch, so she ate alone and put the pan of spaghetti in the oven next to the bread so it would stay warm for him, all while wondering why she should even care. But she did care.
Tallius’s enraged words played over and over in her head, and she wondered how he’d known about Darius and the guns he’d acquired. She guessed it didn’t really matter where he’d heard about it. What did matter was that Tallius had been right. The second the alert had sounded about the attack that night, gunfire had almost immediately followed. Darius hadn’t used the weapons on other misshapes like he’d said he was going to. He’d used them on fellow wolf shifters. She should have figured Darius was lying. He wasn’t ever a very honest Alpha and not a very smart one either because he got caught in his lies more often than not. Honestly, Mira
would have left the FourClaws long ago if it weren’t for Aunty Marnie’s allegiance to them. She’d told Mira that the FourClaws were as good a pack as any, but reflecting now, Mira realized it’d been said with a resigned reluctance. Had Aunty Marnie been unhappy with the FourClaws too? It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.
Sitting on the couch, Mira stared into the blazing fire and went over her argument with Tallius word by word. When she was done, she replayed it again until her body slumped to the side and her eyes grew heavy. She meant only to close her eyes for a moment, but then exhausted sleep claimed her.
***
Mira woke with a start and sat bolt upright on the couch. Eyes taking everything in, she realized the fire had died down to nothing but embers and the light from outside had faded.
Turning, she eyed the table and saw that the plate she’d left out for Tallius was gone, which meant he’d either come long enough to eat and left, or . . .
Eyes drifting to his bedroom door, she slowly stood, ignoring the ache in her back, and smoothed her palms down her thighs. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she saw that it was just past seven. Where in the hell did the day go!
At Tallius’s door, she leaned her head close and listened. Inside, she picked up the sound of his breathing and felt a surprising jolt of relief that he was back. Just about to pull away, she stopped when she heard a grunt. Brows spearing down, she leaned closer to the door. There was rustling and a muttered curse that had her wondering if he was okay. Anger at their fight gone, she lifted a hand and knocked rapidly. “Tally?”
She swore she heard a muttered, “’Bout damn time,” before he said more loudly, “Mira, please come in.”
Please come in? Okay, that sounded weird. Turning the doorknob, she slowly pushed the door open and then froze, shocked at the sight that met her.
Tallius was on his back on his bed. He was wearing nothing but black briefs, and his legs were spread wide with each ankle tied to the bedposts with thick rope. Mira’s eyes tracked up his muscular legs, over his abdomen, and up to where his arms were tied above his head to each of the bedposts against the wall.
“What the . . . ?” Going on full alert, she spun as her wolf raced to the surface. Nostrils flaring, her shoulders hunched and her hands curled as she prepared to fight. “Who the fuck did this?” She rushed out quietly, straining to listen for any sounds of intruders.
“Mira.”
She didn’t turn, just crept closer to the door.
“Mira!” Tallius said her name more firmly and had her turning her head to look over her shoulder at him. Her eyes skimmed his body again, but this time she looked for any sign of injury. There was none that she could see.
“Mira, come help me!”
Backing up slowly, she still faced the door as a growl rattled her chest. Reaching behind her, her hand brushed Tallius’s foot before she felt blindly for the rope.
“Not there,” he instructed. “Here! Help me with my hands.”
Moving slowly toward the head of the bed, Mira was too afraid to take her eyes off the door to look back at him. “Who did this?” she hissed, hand skimming blindly over his body as she tried to find his tied wrist while keeping her attention on the room. Grabbing the rope that stretched tight from his wrist to the bedpost, she gave it a hard tug.
“Not there. Here.”
Casting him a quick glance, she locked her fingers around the length of rope he held, and pulled hard.
“Aaaah, tight!”
Worried, she’d hurt him, Mira turned and frowned at the mass of rope around his wrist. Reaching for it with both hands, she hissed, “Who the hell did this, Tallius?”
Shock ripped through her when Tallius jerked his wrist away from her hands and said, “I did.”
Reeling back, Mira stared down at him unsure of what she’d just heard.
“I did this to me,” he repeated. “It’s my gift to you. I’m gonna make things right.”
Shaking her head, Mira asked in an incredulous tone, “Wh-what?”
“I’m at your mercy, Mira.” Tallius relaxed back on the bed. “Do with me what you will.”
Staring silently at him, dumbfounded, Mira couldn’t find words.
Lifting his head, Tallius looked at her. “Hurt me, Mira. Do whatever it is you need to do to feel vindicated.”
“What?” she breathed again and then backed up a step. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” Turning, she took a step for the door, but Tallius’s booming command stopped her.
“Mira! Stop!”
She didn’t turn and face him, just stayed glued to her spot and listened as panic rose up inside her.
“This is all I can give you. But you need this! I need it too.”
“No,” she wheezed through her thickening throat.
“I came here hoping. I came here thinking I was smart enough, or strong enough, or good enough to know how to fix this thing that’s been weighing so heavily between us. And I know you feel it too. Maybe that’s why your she wolf keeps hiding. You were already claustrophobic, and then look what we did. We’re letting this unresolved thing between us crush us, Mira.”
Turning her head, she looked over her shoulder at him.
“It’s suffocating us, and this—” he shook arms and legs “—this is the best I can do. It’s all I have left to offer. And you gotta take it!” His eyes were imploring. “I came here hoping to leave without this weight on my chest, and regardless of if you admit it or not, I know you did too. So do it!” More firmly, he demanded through clenched teeth, “Do! It! Take it out on me, Mira. Give me all that hate and anguish you’ve been carrying around, and be done with it . . . for both of us. Please!”
“Is that what you think of me?” she whispered, curling her hands into fists as she turned to fully face him, bracing her legs to keep from crumpling. “You think I’m some kind of monster that would gain pleasure from giving you pain? You think me hurting you is gonna make everything better?”
His voice was full of resolve when he said, “No, pretty wolf. I know you’re not the monster. That’s me. It’s always been me. But you gotta try to stop that shit that’s weighing you down. You gotta try to push it off, because if you don’t, it’ll crush you to nothing. I promise you it will. You gotta fight. You gotta try to stop it. Try, Mira.”
Her eyes left his face to scan down his body. Just even imagining hurting him while he was defenseless had a wave of revulsion crashing over her. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she ducked her chin and trembled, “I c-can’t.”
“You can!” he boomed, snapping her head back up. “For your FourClaws.” His voice grew harsh. “You owe them! Look what I did to them! Look what I suggested be done to them. I chose the night attack, Mira. I wanted to strike while you all were at your most vulnerable.”
She knew it was true, but for some crazy reason she felt an urge to come to his defense.
“I know you remember my face, Mira. I saw you! When I was ripping out Roe’s throat. I watched you watching me.”
She felt anger starting to rise as she went back to the night and remembered the terror that had consumed her. She hated feeling so scared, so weak.
“With him dying beneath me, his blood in my mouth, and my eyes on you . . .”
He hesitated and Mira frowned at him.
Tallius’s jaw ticked once then twice before he snarled, “I wondered what your blood would taste like.”
His words stunned her, but the shock only lasted a moment before rage filled her.
“You were gonna be next,” he taunted. “If you hadn’t run, you would have fallen under me that night too.”
Mira rushed the bed and slapped Tallius hard.
The sound reverberated through the room as he glared up at her. “I was gonna hurt you, Mira. I was gonna fucking end you too, just like I did to your pathetic pack!”
She slapped him again, and then again even as tears filled her eyes and fell when she blinked. “Stop!” she wheezed.
Unsure if sh
e was talking to herself or him, she was unable to contain her anguish when he sneered, “And it was so fucking easy to wipe you all out.”
Climbing on the bed, Mira straddled his hips and shook her head, her brows speared down as she curled her hand into a tight fist and drew it back. “Stop,” she demanded around a sob.
“Like taking candy from a fucking baby,” he mocked. “And I didn’t regret it for a second.”
“Stooop!” she screamed, but her fist was already moving.
Chapter 16
All of Mira’s hate, all of her pain, all of her regret and sadness was coiled up in that punch. For so long all her agony had been directed at Tallius, so it was only right that her fist was too.
As her punch flew toward his face, she caught just the briefest flash of resigned sadness in his eyes before he silenced and waited for impact.
At the last second, Mira threw her body to the side. Her punch landed in the pillow beside Tallius’s head, while her body slammed into his. Breathing ragged, Mira stayed sprawled chest-to-chest on top of Tallius as something inside her cracked. It felt like a dam had broken, and then she was crying against him. All the hate and anguish, the fear and resentment, it all just left her on broken sobs and tears.
“You lie,” she breathed. She could scent it now. The room reeked of Tallius’s lies. He hadn’t been going to attack her that night. He had no intentions of ever hurting her.
“Mira.” His voice had gone all low and hoarse
But she didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to move. She wanted to stay pressed up against Tallius where she felt safe, and just . . . be. So she did. She stayed curled up on top of him until her tears dried up and the residue of her hatred for him evaporated. Hating him hadn’t done anything for her. Trying to hurt him hadn’t done anything either.
“It’s alright.” His breath fanned against the top of her head as he reassured her, “It’s alright, pretty wolf. We’ll find another way. We’ll figure this out, together.”
