“You’re a good person, Benjamin.”
“Uh, don’t say that, Nic. That only leads to ‘but,’ and we broke up a long time ago.”
I toss my head back and laugh hard, then throw a chip at him. “Don’t be a douche. I was paying you a compliment.”
“I see that you’ve kept up with your workouts. You look great.” He tilts his head, watching me closely. “But I know you, and you have circles under your eyes, so spill it.”
I sigh and lean my chin in my hand. “I’m an idiot.”
“Agreed.”
“You’re a jerk.”
“Typically, yes.”
I laugh again and shake my head. “Stop it. You are not. There is a guy.”
“Do I want to know this?” His handsome face cringes. “I mean, I know we’re just good friends, but I don’t think you’re supposed to know who your ex-girlfriend is sleeping with. It’s weird.”
“How do you know I’m sleeping with him?”
“Are you?”
“Yeah.”
“Now I know.”
“Jealous?” I ask with a raised brow.
He sits back and actually thinks about it, surprising me. I expected a witty comeback, but instead he just answers honestly.
“Not jealous in the way I would have been five years ago, but worried because you mean a lot to me and I don’t want to have to kill him for hurting you.”
“I hurt him, Ben.” I sigh and push my fingers through my short hair.
“I like the haircut, by the way.”
“Oh, thanks. It was time for a change.” I take another bite of chip. “Anyway, I fell hard and fast for him. He’s a great guy. A cop.” I tell him all about Matt and his family, how we met, everything. And it feels good because I haven’t been able to tell anyone everything about my relationship with Matt, and I know that Ben won’t judge me.
“So, aside from the kinky sex, which sounds like a lot of fun to me, but makes me very uncomfortable in relation to you”—he cringes again—“he sounds like a solid guy.”
“He is.”
“So what’s the issue?”
“I broke up with him.”
“Why?”
I bite my lip and stare at the half-eaten basket of chips.
“Nicole…” Ben lowers his head to catch my gaze. “Why?”
“I thought he deserved better than me,” I whisper. “With my medical stuff and everything.”
Ben’s brow creases in surprise. “Nic, I’ve been around the block a time or two, and I’m telling you right now, there are few better than you.”
My jaw drops in surprise. “If you propose right now, I’m going to throw this margarita in your face.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “My girlfriend might have an issue with that.”
“Girlfriend!” I squeak. “You haven’t told me about a girlfriend! Is she here or in Wyoming?”
“She’s in Wyoming, but if I get the job here, I’m hoping she’ll move out here with me.”
“Who is she? Do I know her?”
“We’ll get to her later.” He waves it aside and reaches across the table to take my hand in his large one. “Do you love him?”
“Yeah. But to be honest, his family, although they’re great, they are damn intimidating. Half of them are celebrities, Ben. There’s money, and they’re all beautiful and just…I read about these kinds of people.”
“Are they assholes?”
“No.” I shake my head emphatically. “They’re really nice. I mean, they’re protective of each other, and there were some curious looks and questions, but they were great about making me feel welcome.”
“Good.” He nods. “Not all families are like yours.”
“My family isn’t that bad,” I reply softly. “They just don’t pay much attention to each other.”
“So being around a family that does pay attention is new.” Ben chuckles and shakes his head. “I always wondered why you weren’t one of those girls who calls or texts all the time, always in my way. For a while, I thought you just weren’t interested.”
“No, I guess it’s just not in my nature to have to always be in someone’s back pocket.” I smile and squeeze his hand. “You know I was interested.”
“Yeah, and then you decided to go to culinary school and break my heart.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“We got over it,” Ben replies with a shrug. “So you know you’re going to have to apologize to the guy for being a dumb-ass.”
“Yeah.” I laugh. “There will most likely be groveling involved.”
“Nah, don’t stoop to groveling, babe.” He winks and takes a sip of water. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to talk to him. Probably tomorrow.”
Ben nods and then looks up at someone who’s approached the table.
I glance up, expecting to see the waiter, but instead, my eyes collide with a very angry blue gaze.
“Matt.” Holy shit. I pull my hand out of Ben’s, but Matt’s gaze follows my hand, not missing it.
Not missing a thing, I’m sure.
“Nicole,” he returns, coldly but softly. “I’d like to have a word with you privately, please.” He glances down at Ben, who grins and offers his right hand to shake.
“Hi, I’m Ben.”
He doesn’t clarify exactly who he is, which exasperates me and seems to amuse the hell out of Ben.
“I’m Matt.” He shakes Ben’s hand, out of manners hammered home by Gail more than anything, I’m sure, and pins me in his hard stare.
“Now.”
Chapter Nineteen
Matt leads me behind him, through the restaurant and down a short hallway to the restrooms. He opens the men’s room door and when he sees that no one is inside, he pulls me in with him and flips the deadbolt.
“Matt…”
“Two weeks.” He cages me in, my back against the door and his hands planted on either side of my head. “We haven’t spoken in two weeks, and now you’re out with some new guy?”
“It’s not what it looks like…”
“What it looks like”—he lowers his face closer to mine. His eyes are feral, angrier than I’ve ever seen them, and he’s panting—“is the love of my life allowing another man to hold her hand over dinner and flirt with her. What the fucking hell, Nic?”
“He’s just a friend,” I insist and glare at him, but my stomach quivers at the feel of him so close to me. “He’s a very good friend.”
He growls and plants his mouth on mine, not gently, not carefully, but with hunger and lust, as though he’s been without water for days and I’m a mirage in the desert. He cups my face in his hands and plunders my mouth, his tongue seeking my own. He bites my lower lip and then plunders again as his hands glide down my sides to my hips and thighs, where he gathers the soft material in his fists, yanking it up around my waist before ripping my panties in two, throwing them over his shoulder.
“You are mine. I stayed away like I promised I would, but I’m done, Nic.” His voice has softened, but it’s still intense. His hand glides up the inside of my thigh as he leans his forehead on my own, his eyes clenched closed. His hand drifts higher until his fingers graze my lips and circle my clit gently.
“I can feel how fucking wet you are, little one, but apparently I need to remind you who you belong to.”
He boosts me up against the wall and presses his denim-covered cock against my core, rocking against me, making me gasp and groan. Hell yes, I’m his! And suddenly, he can’t get inside me fast enough. I don’t care that we’re in the restroom of a restaurant. I need him. Now.
He leans back to unfasten his jeans, unleashes his cock and very gently rubs the head of his hard dick over my clit and through my folds, until he slips inside me, burying himself as deep as he can go. He pulls both my hands over my head and pins them with one of his hands, supports my ass with the other and proceeds to fuck me hard and fast, panti
ng and growling. He bites my neck, leaving a mark, I’m sure, then kisses me again, until we both have to break away to breathe.
“I told you before, I’ll never share you, sweetheart, and I meant it.” He releases my hands to cup my face in his palm, brushing the apple of my cheek with his thumb.
God, he’s consuming me. I can feel the frustration rolling off him in waves, and while his movements are urgent, he’s still gentle, careful not to hurt me.
He’d never hurt me.
He leans his forehead against mine and in a low voice commands, “Come.”
And I can’t help it, I do. Having him touch me, inside me, is my undoing, and I come hard, bucking my hips and clenching around him.
“There is nothing sexier than watching you come,” he groans and explodes inside me.
We’re both panting, and I’m quivering from the aftershocks of both of our orgasms. Before pulling out of me or even setting me back on the floor, he grips my chin in his hand and keeps my gaze pinned to his.
“You have five minutes to get rid of the asshole and get in my car. You are already spending the night tied to my bed, but you take even a second longer and you’ll be blindfolded as well.”
I gape at him as he pulls out of me, tucks himself away and sets his watch. He turns to the sink, wets a paper towel and returns to me, kneeling at my feet, cleaning the insides of my thighs where his semen has streamed out of me. He straightens my skirt, tosses the towel away, stands and kisses me thoroughly and completely, then takes my hand in his and leads me out of the bathroom back to my table.
When we arrive, Ben is grinning wider than I’ve ever seen him.
Matt leans in and kisses my cheek, then whispers in my ear, “The clock is ticking. I’ll see you outside,” and then he’s gone.
“So, are things resolved?” Ben asks, watching Matt walk away.
“Uh, I think the groveling is about to come sooner than I expected,” I reply in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Ben, but…”
“No, don’t be sorry. I’ll be here all week. We’ll catch up another day.”
I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
I grab my purse and hurry out of the restaurant to find Matt parked in front of the entrance, the engine running, and waiting for me.
I climb into the passenger seat and watch him warily. “I’m here.”
“That’s a good start,” he replies and pulls away from the restaurant toward his own apartment.
“Where are we going?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
The look he sends me is hurt and angry, making me sink back into the seat. “You and I have some things to work out. The first of which being you don’t go out on dates with anyone but me.”
“We broke up, Matt. I can see whomever I choose.”
“Bullshit.” His voice is low and hard, and the usual calm that Matt exudes has settled back around him.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
He parks in his space and pulls himself out of the car and around to my side, opens the door and waits for me to climb out of the car.
I hold my hand out for his. He takes it, raises it to his lips and kisses my knuckles tenderly before leading me into the elevator. He’s quiet as the elevator climbs to his floor, then he leads me down the hall to his door.
Once inside, I’m at a loss. I’m not sure where to take it from here.
Do I just blurt out I’m sorry?
“Let’s start with who was he,” Matt begins and sits on the edge of a chair in his living room. He gestures to the couch opposite him, and I sit, remembering our last night together here on this sofa.
“Ben,” I begin and clear my throat, “he’s a good friend.”
Matt raises an eyebrow, waiting for more of an explanation.
“He’s from my hometown, and he was my boyfriend until I moved here to go to culinary school.”
Matt’s eyes darken, and his hands clench into fists.
“There’s been nothing sexual happening with him in years, and frankly, right before you walked up and interrupted, we were talking about you.” I raise an eyebrow and then keep talking, “And how I was going to clean up this mess I caused.”
“Dating other men isn’t the answer,” Matt mutters.
“He’s in town for the week and invited me to dinner and wanted to know why I look sad.” The last few words are a whisper as I look down at my feet.
“Why are you sad, little one?”
I feel tears gather, so I cover my face with my hands and take a deep breath. “Because I miss you,” I murmur. “Matt, I owe you a big apology.”
“Lower your hands and look me in the eye.”
I comply and am shocked to see tears in his eyes when my gaze finds his. “I’m so sorry, for not being more open with you, for assuming instead of discussing. Hell, for just being an idiot in general.”
“You’re not an idiot, but I accept the apology for the rest of it.” He wipes his hand over his mouth, watching me. God, he looks amazing. His hair is a riotous mess, and his eyes look tired, but the T-shirt he’s wearing molds to his upper body, showing off every line of every muscle, and his jeans are just delicious.
I can’t stop looking at him, soaking in the sight of him.
Oh, how I’ve missed him.
“I can’t stand this.” Matt stands and pulls me to my feet then lifts me into his arms, sits on the couch and settles me in his lap. “This is better.”
I loop my arms around his neck and cling, just hugging him tightly, breathing him in.
“Talk to me, baby.”
I lean back to look into his face, gliding my fingertips down his cheeks. “I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
I swallow and let a tear fall on my cheek.
“Ah, baby, don’t cry. It kills me.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m afraid that one day you’ll decide that I’m not really what you need.”
“Why would I ever decide that?” He frowns at me in confusion.
“I know it’s early, and we have a lot of time ahead of us, but when I saw you with your pregnant sisters, and all the kids in your family, it occurred to me that if we continue on the path we’re on, I’d have to admit to you sooner or later that I can’t give you those things. I don’t want you to make the decision to be with me now and then a couple years from now regret it because you want to start a family.”
“I’m not going to lie, baby. I do want a family someday. But there are other ways of having children. I would never want you to put your body through something that it’s not capable of. At the heart of it, we are you and me. This”—he wags his index finger back and forth, pointing to both of us—“doesn’t work without you. So, when we come to a place where we’re ready to add more people to this life, we’ll work together to decide how that’s going to work.”
“I know that now,” I admit shyly.
“What changed your mind?” he asks.
“Your mom came to see me today.”
“Oh God,” he groans and then chuckles. “What did she say?”
“She reminded me that family is about love, and the rest is details. She’s a smart woman.”
“Yes, she is.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” I whisper. “I love that you’re so supportive and proud of me. You encourage me to be better, and you don’t try to control every aspect of my life.
“But I also love when you go all bossy and controlling in the bedroom, and I can give that part of myself over to you and trust you to know what I need and what makes me feel good. It’s nice to have a place where I don’t have to worry.”
“Ah, baby.” He leans in and kisses my forehead tenderly. “You finally figured it out.”
“Yeah.” I nod and shrug and then bite my lip, afraid of the next question.
“What is it?”
“Can we try this again?”
“I never gave up in the first place,” he re
minds me. “I have been waiting for you. And then I walk into that restaurant to pick up dinner, and I see you there with another man, and for the first time in my life, I had murderous thoughts.”
“Killing him wouldn’t have solved anything.”
“Who said I wanted to kill him?” he asks with a raised brow.
“Killing me wouldn’t solve it either.”
“I never want to feel that way again,” he whispers and hugs me closer. “I’m not typically a jealous man, Nicole, but when I saw him holding your hand, I almost lost my mind.”
“I get it,” I assure him. “If the tables were reversed, I’d cut a bitch.”
He laughs and stands with me in his arms and marches back to his bedroom.
“Are you really going to tie me to the bed?”
“Are you going to skip out on me in the morning?”
“No,” I reply as he sets me on my feet. I reach for his shirt, helping him peel it over his head. “God, you look amazing in this shirt.”
“You’re good for my ego, little one.” He smirks. “I think I’ll tie you up later. First, I want your hands on me.”
“Thank God,” I mutter and unfasten his jeans, watching him spring free. “We should have a shower.”
“We will.”
“We should have one first.”
“Remember a few minutes ago when you said that you like it that you can let go and let me handle this part of things?” His eyes are sparkling with humor as he undresses me, pulling my tank top over my head and yanking my skirt down my hips, leaving me in just my bra.
“Yes.”
“Stop trying to top me, stubborn woman, and enjoy.”
I giggle as he boosts me up onto the bed and covers me with his body, resting his hips against my pelvis, nestling his cock in my folds.
He buries his fingers in my hair and brushes his nose across my own then sinks in and kisses me deeply, licking across my lips and inside, then nibbling the corners of my mouth and down my jawline to my neck. “Your skin is so fucking soft.”
I hitch my legs up around his hips and pull my hands down his back to his ass.
“Matt,” I whisper as hot need sets up camp between my legs. The gentle brush of the head of his cock against my clit just isn’t enough.
Tied With Me Page 22
