by Emma Easter
“Is everything okay?” the realtor asked, looking at Faizan.
Faizan nodded and looked at Zainah who had come up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. She had a worried look on her face as she stared at him.
“What’s the matter?” she whispered.
He forced a smile and shook his head. “It’s nothing, really.” He looked at the realtor and said, “Let’s continue the house tour.”
The man hesitated for a few seconds and then moved to the door. “Okay, let’s go on to the other bedrooms.”
Faizan took Zainah’s hand and they followed the realtor.
The house viewing was over half an hour later. The realtor asked Faizan if he wanted to see the remaining two houses now, but Faizan declined. He told Zainah that he was slightly tired and therefore was not in the right frame of mind to look at any more homes.
“We will continue another day,” he said to her.
On the way to Trisha’s where she was staying, Zainah kept asking him what was wrong, and he kept insisting there was nothing. He felt terrible for lying to her, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to tell her. Worse, he couldn’t think of a plausible excuse to give her when it came time to travel to Washington. He would have to tell her more lies. The thought tormented his mind as he drove.
Faizan parked in Trisha’s driveway and waited for Zainah to unlock the door. He followed her in, thought better of staying, and then began to back away. If he stayed here with her, she would probably get the truth out of him, and he couldn’t let that happen. At least, not yet. Worst of all, they might end up kissing passionately again and then things would start to get out of hand the way it had back at the house they had just viewed. If that happened, he wasn’t sure the Lord would send any more interruptions to deliver them.
Zainah caught his wrist as he turned toward the door. “Where are you going?” she asked. “I thought we were supposed to spend the rest of today together.”
He shook his head. “Remember what happened back at the house we went to see. The realtor was in the house and we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves. I don’t think we can risk being alone for now.”
She sighed and let go of his hand. He went to open the door and she followed him out of the house.
He turned back and stared curiously at her, and then frowned. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going back to Audrey’s house with you.”
“Why?” he asked, confused.
She shrugged. “Well… we can’t stay here alone, but Audrey and Ken are at home, aren’t they? We are supposed to spend the day together and we will.” She shook her head. “And don’t look at me like that, Faizan. I know there is something you are hiding from me and you are trying to avoid telling me about it. But it’s not going to work. I want to know what exactly is bothering you.”
He sighed wearily and turned away from her.
“Tell me what it is,” she said.
He turned back to her and looked her in the eye. He said softly, “I can’t tell you right now, but I will soon.”
She studied his eyes. “Why can’t you tell me now, Faizan? What are you hiding?”
He took her hand and asked, “Do you trust me, Zainah?”
“Completely,” she replied.
“Then please trust me when I say it’s nothing for you to worry about. I promise I’ll tell you what it is very soon. All I can tell you right now is that I have to go out of town tomorrow.”
She gasped and then asked, “For how long?”
“I’m not yet sure.”
She shook her head. “Do you really have to go?”
“I have to. I have no choice, Zainah.”
She cried out, “What about our wedding planning? What about our wedding? It’s in less than a month.”
“I know. I promise I’ll try to be back way before then. It’s just that I have to go now.”
She stared at him for a long moment and then said, “It has something to do with your past, doesn’t it?”
“Umm… kind of.”
Her eyes searched his again. She thinned her lips. “You aren’t going to tell me what it is, are you?”
“I can’t tell you now,” Faizan said. “Please trust me, Zainah. I will tell you in due time.”
She smiled sadly. “You mean you are not allowed to tell me now.”
He nodded.
She looked at him for another minute and then her shoulders sagged. “Okay. I’ll let it go. But I am coming with you to Audrey’s. I want to spend every waking moment with you until you leave tomorrow.” She grinned. “And I want to play with Ruby as well.”
He smiled and cupped her cheeks. “I want to spend every moment with you too.”
They stared at each other for a long moment and then Faizan took her hand in his. “Let’s go then.”
She followed him to his car and got in the front seat beside him. All through the short drive to Audrey’s, Faizan had one hand on the steering wheel and the other grasping Zainah’s. His emotions roiled as he kept thinking of leaving her tomorrow. He didn’t want to. If only they could elope and get married this evening. But it wasn’t possible. Besides, his sisters would kill him if he did.
She lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of his. “It’s okay, Faizan. I’ll be alright.”
His stomach twisted with worry. “Audrey and Ken will soon leave for Miami and Sienna and Bryan will go back to Peru. You will be alone in Rosefield.”
“Like I said, I’ll be fine. I have been taking care of myself for a long time.”
“But you are not used to being alone.”
“I’ll find something to occupy me while you are gone. Trisha and Frank will be back soon anyway.”
He wanted to tell her he would ask Lauren to look in on her, but he remembered how insecure she had been when she’d met Lauren at the wedding and changed his mind. He had to trust that she would be fine without him. But it wasn’t that he didn’t believe it, it was just that he would miss her terribly. Anger against Jake and the CIA as a whole stirred in his heart, but he pushed it away. There was no point getting angry. Besides, he owed them. He would be in jail if not for their leniency. This was the agreement he had with them and he had no choice but to fulfill it.
They reached Audrey and Ken’s and then discovered to their chagrin that the couple were not at home. Faizan rubbed his face with his hand and then laughed harshly. “No one is at home. This was what we were trying to avoid.”
Zainah didn’t seem too troubled. She laughed and said, “I’ll just sit on this couch. You can sit at the other end.”
He shook his head. “No, let me sit on a different sofa.” He went and sat on the sofa facing her.
Zainah stared longingly at him. “I wish we could get married now,” she said.
Faizan raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head slowly. “Stop gazing at me like that, Zainah. Do you want me to come over there and kiss you?”
She groaned. “This is so hard. All I want to do is kiss you and hold you, especially as you’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
He gazed at her for a long moment, struggling with himself. Everything in him wanted to go to her, kiss and hold her, and never let go of her. But he knew that would be the wrong thing to do. He stood and went to turn on the TV. “Let’s watch a movie,” he said. “It will take our minds off everything.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to watch a movie. I just want to talk to you.”
He looked up thoughtfully and then went to sit back down. “Okay, let’s talk,” he said to her.
They sat facing each other and talking about everything. They talked about their deepest longings and fears, their childhood dreams, their future hopes. They talked about both the things they had already shared with each other and the things they hadn’t yet shared. About two hours later, Audrey and Ken came back. They all had dinner together, and then Faizan told them he had to leave town the next day. Because of Zainah, he didn’t tell them exactly whe
re he was going or why.
They all sat in the living room, chatting and laughing. Every time Faizan remembered he had to leave Rosefield tomorrow, he began to feel gloomy. Each time, he pushed the feeling away and focused on the conversation going on again.
It was almost midnight when he finally drove Zainah back to Trisha’s. He tried to prolong his stay by chatting with her in front of the house. But after an hour, he knew he had to leave. She clung to him when he told her he had to go and cried softly.
He wiped the tears from her eyes and then promised he would try to call her as often as possible. “By God’s grace, I’ll be back before you know it,” he said.
“I wish you could spend the night here,” she said. “I can’t wait for when we get married so we don’t have to say these goodbyes. It’s always so painful.”
“I know.” He pulled back and looked at her. “I’ll miss you. But hopefully, I won’t be gone for too long.”
“Please hurry back to me,” she said, wiping the tears on her cheeks with her fingers.
“I will.”
After he kissed her, he backed away quickly. If he stayed any longer, he might go into the house with her and never leave. He got into his car, waved to her, and drove away.
All the way home, he couldn’t stop picturing her face as tears ran down her cheeks and the sadness in her voice when she told him to hurry back home to her.
Chapter Four
Zainah paced her room in her nightgown. Waves of worry coursed through her as she thought about Faizan. She didn’t even know where he was now or if he was in trouble. All she knew was that she wanted to scream. She sighed and sat on the bed. Lifting her voice to the Lord, she said, “Please help me. I miss him so much and I’m so worried about him.”
She sighed again and then decided to stop worrying. It wasn’t like her worry was going to accomplish anything like bring him back to her. She picked up the cellphone Faizan had bought her and decided it was time to start trying Miriam’s number so she could speak with Leila. She dialed Miriam’s satellite phone number not expecting it to ring and then gasped when it did.
Miriam’s voice came on the line. “Hello, who is this?”
“Miriam! It’s me, Zainah!”
“Zainah! How are you?”
“I’m fine, Miriam. Please, I need to speak to Leila. It’s urgent!”
“Okay. Let me get her for you.”
Zainah waited, her heart beating with excitement. She hadn’t spoken to Leila in a while now and she couldn’t wait to do it. Most of all, she couldn’t wait to tell her that there might be some hope of her attending the wedding. Seconds later, Leila’s voice came on the line. She sounded breathless.
“Zainah! Oh, my Lord. I’ve missed you so!”
Zainah grinned, thrilled to hear her best friend’s voice after so long. “I’ve missed you, Leila. How are you?”
“I’m good. I was washing.”
“Oh, that is definitely one of the things about the camp that I do not miss,” Zainah said, chuckling. “How is everyone? Halima, Amina, the children?”
“They all miss you, Zainah.”
Zainah smiled, thinking about the women and the children at the camp. She said, “Leila, I have good news for you. My sisters-in-law told me they could act as your sponsors and help with your visa and airfare here. That means you might actually be able to attend my wedding. It will be such a relief if you are given the visa. You will need to go to Fatima’s and apply…”
Leila cut her off. “I’m not going.”
Zainah’s eyes widened in astonishment. She shook her head and said, “I’m sorry. Did you just say you were not going to come for my wedding?”
“Yes.”
“Even if you got the visa?”
“Yes. In fact, I am not going to apply for a visa. Not unless you are postponing your wedding.”
Zainah’s insides twisted. “Why don’t you want to come to my wedding, Leila? And why on earth would I postpone the wedding?”
“I’m certainly not asking you to postpone your wedding. I’m just saying I won’t be able to make it.”
“Why?”
Leila didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then she said, “I need to find my own groom, Zainah. I need to find Malik.”
Zainah’s mouth dropped open. She finally found her voice and said, “Your groom? Did you and Malik get secretly married?”
“No!” Leila sounded exasperated. “But we will be married… if I can just find him.”
“And how do you plan to find him?”
“I’ll have to go back to your hometown, Zainah.”
Zainah’s heart jumped and she gasped. “You cannot be serious! You want to go back to the town where you were imprisoned and almost forced to marry someone you don’t even know?”
“Yes. I’ll do anything to find Malik.”
“You are crazy, Leila! You are not going back to Nira, have you heard me? In case you’ve forgotten, we were threatened and asked to convert or lose our lives by marrying cruel men. How can you even think about going back there?”
“Listen, Zainah, I know you are worried, but I will be careful. I just need to find him.”
“It’s madness!” Zainah exclaimed. “You don’t even know if he still loves you. You remember he didn’t even show his face when we were recaptured. If he really cared, he would have found another way to free us. Most of all, he would have found a way to contact you by now. I still believe he was the one who told my father we were planning to escape.”
“Zainah, how can you still believe that? That doesn’t even make sense. Why would he go through all that trouble to help us escape if he was just going to get your father to imprison us again?”
“Like I said before, I don’t know. One thing I do know is that he hasn’t bothered to reach out to you or me.”
Leila sighed loudly. “Malik is a good man, and I know he loves me. I can’t explain his absence when we were recaptured, but it’s one of the reasons why I must go back. I need answers.”
“But what about my wedding, Leila? I don’t like this. What you are about to do is dangerous and frankly, futile. Please, don’t go.”
“Zainah, please don’t try to convince me not to go anymore. You have the love of your life with you. Let me find mine.”
Zainah sighed softly. “Actually, I don’t.”
“What?”
“Faizan was called away to some mission yesterday… I don’t fully understand it all. He doesn’t know when he will be back. He called this morning to tell me he is safe, but I am so afraid for him.”
“What kind of mission?” Leila sounded curious.
“I don’t know. But I already really miss him. I just hope we don’t end up postponing this wedding. I hope he comes back soon. I will have to leave America if we don’t get married before my three-month visa ends.” Zainah shut her eyes, feeling overwhelmed. “All I want to do is marry that man now.”
“Then you should understand my desire to find your brother. I love him very much.”
“But you hardly know him,” Zainah cried.
“But I still love him. I fell in love with him immediately I saw him.”
Zainah felt an urgent need to talk Leila out of this crazy idea to go back to Nira and search for Malik. “You know you can’t marry him, Leila. You know what the Bible says about being unequally yoked with unbelievers.”
“I know,” Leila said, sounding exasperated again. “I believe he’ll come to Christ soon.”
“He might not ever come to Christ.”
“How can you say that? He is your brother!”
“Okay, I pray with all my heart that he will. But you don’t know when that will be. Please, Leila, reconsider…”
“I’m sorry, Zainah. I have to follow my heart. Don’t worry. I’ll be careful. If I find him quickly, I promise I will go to Fatima’s and start the visa process so I can come to your wedding.”
“Leila, please listen to me,” Zainah pleaded. An idea came
to her and she said, “I will tell Miriam what you plan to do so she will stop you from going.”
Leila laughed harshly. “Nothing Miriam says will convince me to not go find Malik. She would have to physically hold me down and lock me up for me not to go. I doubt she would do that.”
“If I tell her your life will be in danger if you go, she just might.”
“Stop it, Zainah! I’m going, and you cannot talk me out of it.”
“Please, Leila, just listen to…” Zainah gasped as the line went dead. “Leila, hello?” She couldn’t believe it. Her best friend had hung up on her. She blinked and pulled the phone away from her ear. She looked at it for a full minute and then slowly stood up from the bed. Her heart raced as the worry that had settled on her since Faizan’s departure yesterday doubled.
“Great!” she muttered harshly. Now she wasn’t only worried about Faizan, but she had Leila to worry about as well. What is Leila even thinking, deciding to go back to Nira?
She became overwhelmed with worry and sank to her knees. “Lord, please protect Faizan and Leila. I don’t know what I would do if anything bad happened to either of them.” She shuddered as images of Faizan lying on the floor, hurt, rushed into her mind, followed closely by an image of Leila’s face streaked with blood.
“Get yourself together,” she scolded, and closed her eyes tightly. She began to intercede for Faizan and Leila, asking the Lord to protect them.
“Lord, I know you can do it,” she said. “Please, don’t let Leila go to Nira. Most of all, please protect my Faizan and bring him safely back to me.”
*****
Leila stood up from her sleeping mat and looked around the tent. All the women and the two little children she shared the tent with were still asleep.
Good. She could sneak off without anyone knowing. She put her hand behind the box where she’d hidden the few clothes she would take with her, and pulled out a bundle. She had tied up five outfits in a scarf. They would have to do for this trip. Hopefully, it would not be a very long one. She planned to find Malik, return here to let everyone know where she was and tell them she was leaving, and then go with Malik to wherever he suggested.
