And, more importantly, took that sword away when she didn’t need it.
She really would have beaten that guy into next Sunday if Ben hadn’t stopped her. And for that, she was immensely grateful. Also, him dropping his family name had completely turned the situation around. Chastity had never been one to use the Miller wealth or prestige for herself, but for once, she was glad for the unforeseen ace up her sleeve.
“I’m crazy, aren’t I?” she asked her reflection, still wrangling some baby hairs that were refusing to cooperate. “This is the man I left ten years ago after he broke a promise to me. I swore to myself I would never look back, and yet, here I am.”
Not surprisingly, her reflection didn’t have an answer for her. It just mirrored the furrow in her brow and the uncertainty flashing through her eyes. Was this stupid? It had to be stupid, right?
Yet, as stupid as it might be, she couldn’t help but feel excited about it. When Ben was holding her in his arms again, his warm chest and abs pressed against her back, she was instantly drenched in all of those old feelings she used to have for him. Even after a decade, he still made her heart skip and her belly flip like a trapeze act.
Finally, her hair cooperated, and she went to change. After Ben had uttered that fateful sentence, asking if she wanted to go on a date with him, she had stared at him for a good minute before her English finally came back to her. Thankfully, she was able to keep some of her wits about her and asked him where it would be while her mind tried to catch up on whether she wanted to say yes or no.
That was when he suggested a nice place on his land. Normally, Chastity would insist on neutral locations for meetups, but this was Ben. She knew him and his family and trusted them implicitly with her safety.
Just maybe not with her heart.
Her alarm went off, signaling an hour until Ben arrived. Once more, she found herself questioning why she was doing this. She and Ben had broken up for a reason. There was no need to rehash all of that again.
And yet her heart was thundering, as if it was their first date all over again. She remembered the first time he had asked her out, shoulders broad, and hair flopping over in the way that was popular at the time. Even though they had become friends, she had stared at him like he had declared he was an alien from another planet. And honestly, that would have been plausible to the teenage version of herself.
She had been chubby, didn’t use makeup, and kept her hair in a permanent bun. She was awkward anywhere but on stage, and she loved books and plays more than most people. So naturally, when one of the most handsome guys in school—who just so happened to be incredibly rich and sought after—showed interest in her, she assumed it was some sort of joke.
But it hadn’t been. And thus, had started a three-year relationship that ended dramatically, as teen relationships were wont to do. But she had loved him. The head-over-heels, can’t-breathe-without-you kind of love. And he had broken her heart.
So why was she going back in?
She could keep asking herself that question as many times as she liked, but she wouldn’t have an answer anytime soon. Instead, she busied herself with looking over her outfit one more time before traveling into the hall.
“Oh, my goodness, you look lovely.”
Her mother’s voice drew her eyes up from the cute flats that she was wearing. Part of her had wanted to wear heels, but she knew better than to do so on a date with Ben.
“Thank you, Mom,” Chastity said, giving her mother a small smile. When was the last time Mrs. Parker had seen her all dressed up? Even before she started skipping out on holidays, she still preferred to lounge around in sweats and loose clothing. Had the last time been… prom? Goodness, that was long ago.
“This brings me back, it does. It really does. If only Charles—” she cut herself off, her eyes watering. “Well, let’s not think about that, shall we? Just look at my little girl, my beautiful, gorgeous little girl.”
She held out her arms, and Chastity walked into them, giving her a warm hug. Funny, she had spent so much time running away from home, trying to never look back, and now she was feeling guilty for having missed so much. Was this what growing up was like?
Eventually they parted, then headed down the stairs to wait. Her mother put some tea on, and they reminisced about the old times. It seemed like she did that often. It probably wasn’t healthy to spend so much time in the past, but she had far too much on her mind to worry about that now.
As the clocked ticked down to Ben’s arrival, Chastity caught her mother staring at her several times. Fearing another episode, the young woman cleared her throat.
“Are you okay, Mom?”
She nodded, her voice warbling again. “Just hoping that one day I’ll get to see you in a wedding dress.”
Chastity felt herself color. What a thing to mention before a date. “I wouldn’t count on me ever doing that.”
Her brows furrowed ever so slightly. “Why ever not?”
“Romance isn’t for me.”
“Nonsense! You and Ben used to be quite a pair. I still remember the way you two used to look at each other, even after all these years. You can’t love like that and then shut it off for the rest of your life.”
“Can’t I?” Chastity answered noncommittedly. Her mother opened her mouth to continue, and Chastity sighed. “Could we please change the subject? This is making me so uncomfortable I’m thinking about canceling the date altogether.”
“All right then, I’ll mind my business.” But still, that knowing, motherly smile was on her face, and it drove Chastity mad. She knew that this date was a bad idea. She should have never agreed to it.
“Don’t forget that you’re getting a visit from one of the nurses today. She’ll be here in about half an hour.”
It had been hard convincing her mother that there was a need for medical personnel in the house at all, and even harder to convince her insurance, but with the help of the town doctor and the one in the city, she’d gotten them to agree to send a night nurse twice a week for four hours. It wasn’t a ton, obviously, but it was enough to allow Chastity her moments of freedom and to get out of the house. Thankfully, her mom’s episodes had leveled off and didn’t seem to be escalating. Unfortunately, the fact that her mom had called her so many different people’s names lately kept Chastity from feeling totally at ease.
There was the sound of a car pulling up, and then Chastity’s phone went off. She checked it and saw the text she had been waiting for.
He was here.
“I’ll be back home later tonight,” Chastity said, hopping to her feet and giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t wait up for me. The nurse will be here soon, so try to be nice. You have my number if you need anything, anything at all.”
But her mom didn’t seem even remotely concerned about the new nurse she was getting. “You know, you’re old enough where you could stay out all night if you so wished.”
“Mother,” Chastity reprimanded. “That doesn’t sound like something a godly woman would do.”
But she just shrugged, giving a mischievous look. “I’ll pray for his forgiveness if you make me a godly grandmother.”
Chastity sputtered a laugh and ducked out the door before her mother could get anymore brilliant ideas. Goodness, something had gotten into her, and Chastity wasn’t sure if it was her illness or that strange way all mothers got when they wanted their progeny to pump out their own offspring.
But thankfully, she was suddenly out on the porch, the twilight sky dripping from golden honey into the soft velvet kiss of night. There, in front of their house, stood Ben’s now-familiar silver pick-up. How she hadn’t noticed it when the bank man had been visiting was beyond her, but that didn’t matter now.
Chastity looked down at her black slacks with the lace detailing on the sides and her loose, floral top. It was simple, but she didn’t want to wear a dress or skirt on the ranch. She had learned that lesson when she was younger and got saddle-rash on her thighs.
>
She walked up to the truck, but before she could get there, Ben was out of the car and walking around to open the door for her. Ever the gentleman, he was. She remembered always admiring that about him. Some guys did it to be showy, or to prove how amazing they were, but it wasn’t like that with Ben. He seemed to do it as a matter of course and didn’t expect any praise for it. Chastity knew a lot of men who could learn from him.
“Thank you,” she said, getting in and taking the hand he offered her. Once more, it was like electricity shot through her, filling her with a rushing warmth that was full of so much hope and promise. She had spent all these years thinking that it was the big city that was cold, but maybe it was just her.
No, that was too ridiculous.
Wasn’t it?
Such introspective thoughts were going to ruin her lighthearted mood worse than her mother, so she cut them off. Thankfully, Ben was already in on the other side and starting his truck up.
“So, where is your silver steed taking us?”
“The ranch,” he answered.
“Well yeah, you said as much when you first asked me out. But the Miller Ranch is huge. I was more curious as to where we were going on your land.”
He smiled at her, and Chastity could see a streak of the mischievous boy he had been. “You’ll see.”
Chastity sighed and shook her head. She couldn’t resist smiling even though he was frustrating her.
He laughed, and just like that, she was totally relaxed. Apparently, being with Ben was like riding a bike once she stopped fighting it and telling herself she couldn’t.
On the way to the ranch, Chastity asked about his family and what each of his brothers was up to. After what seemed like no time at all, they passed the front gates of his family’s ranch. It was crazy to think that it had been there for hundreds of years, first founded by the Millers before Montana was even a state. It was just one big area of the country that was in unorganized territory back then.
They pulled off of the main road and hit a light set of tire tracks that stretched across the green field. Chastity vaguely recalled going this way once but couldn’t remember where it led.
That didn’t matter though, because she was feeling a long-lost sort of contentment. Something about the green grass, the fresh breeze, and the slight whiff of livestock in the air made her feel secure. Like nothing bad could ever happen to her here.
Except that wasn’t quite true, was it? There was a very specific spot, under a tree and by one of the ponds where he had broken her heart. It had been a long walk back home from that particular fallout, and she wasn’t interested in repeating it.
But certainly, that wouldn’t happen today. After all, this was only a simple date. A nice hang out between two adults. Nothing expected of them, and certainly no relationship.
And honestly, the lack of pressure was nice. It was what it was. She could feel whatever she felt without her mind coming in and complicating everything.
Finally, a familiar building loomed over a gentle hill, and Chastity recognized it, letting out a slight gasp.
“The horses?” she whispered, hardly daring to believe it.
But she knew those lavender walls and the dark blue shutters. They had been painted that way by Ben’s great-great-great-grandfather, who had wanted to impress the local schoolteacher by painting it her favorite colors. Apparently, it had worked, because she ended up being Ben’s great-great-great-grandmother.
“You remember,” he said, that crooked smile growing a bit.
“Did you think I could forget? This was where we went on our first date on your ranch. I met… oh what was your horse’s name at the time? Greta? No, Genevieve! She almost bit my hand off when I first gave her an apple.”
“And then she didn’t, and you proceeded to spoil her until—” he cut himself off, frowning, but Chastity knew what he had been going to say.
“Until I left,” Chastity finished for him. She didn’t see any reason in beating around the bush. Was their past uncomfortable, dramatic, and full of heartbreak? Yeah. But it was how they had gotten to this point and ignoring that just seemed silly.
“Yeah. Until you left.”
A quiet settled over the truck, as they pulled up to the barn. However, it wasn’t out of awkwardness, or discomfort, but rather because Chastity was caught up in all the nostalgia of everything that she was seeing and feeling.
Hay tickled at her nose, and she could almost hear the idle wuffling of the many horses inside. While the Miller family didn’t raise horses for shows or pageants, every one of them had their own mount, and they would often raise and train them as gifts for their workers or extended family members. Chastity remembered that Ben had once promised her one as a wedding gift.
It was a shame that was never going to happen now.
But she tucked those thoughts out of her head and hopped out of the truck as soon as it stopped. Happy that she was wearing flats with a good sole, she marched right up to the barn.
This was going to be a good night indeed.
15
Ben
Ben watched perhaps a little too keenly as Chastity marched right up to the barn, looking far more excited than he had ever hoped she would be. Part of him had been worried that she would resent the horses and the memories that they were tied to, but the smile that had burst from her face when she saw the building had been borderline intoxicating.
She was oblivious to the paralyzing effect she had on him, however, and her eyes were glued to the building all the way until he pulled up and parked.
Shaking his head to himself, he slid out of his truck and went to open the door for her.
She was bouncing from foot to foot, and he tried not to pay attention to the alluring movements of her body. He always felt like he was balancing somewhere between appreciating all the facets of her beauty and thinking thoughts that he certainly wouldn’t want his mother or the reverend to hear. He remembered when he was young, he’d barely resisted temptation several times, and it was only Chastity’s determination not to be another teenage statistic that had kept the boundaries so solid between them.
As he opened the door for her, he had a quick flicker of curiosity if those same boundaries held now that she was an adult. Had she found a lover in the city who had touched her the way his teenage self had always longed to? It certainly wasn’t any of his business, but he couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit of jealousy.
Which was ridiculous! She was a grown woman, living on her own in the city. What boyfriends or lovers she had wasn’t his business.
But still…
“You okay over there?” Chastity asked with a smile, already well into the barn. “You look like you’re thinking deep thoughts.”
“Nothing important,” he said quickly, joining her in the barn. All of his family’s horses were there in their stalls, some of them trotting to their doors in the hopes for a treat and some of them so relaxed in their pens that they clearly couldn’t be bothered. He reminded himself to stay in the moment. After all, he was here with Chastity.
He was making up for lost time, so nothing else mattered.
“I don’t suppose you brought any treats?” Chastity asked, looking sheepishly back at him.
Ben grinned. Some things never changed. “As a matter of fact,” he said, walking over to the small fridge they had near the door, “I did prepare for this occasion.”
Reaching in, he pulled out two bags that he had placed in there that morning. One contained thick slices of apple, and the other, cubed pumpkin for some of the pickier horses. “There’s enough in here for everyone,” he said, handing her one of the bags. “I’ll tell you who likes what.”
She let out a happy sort of squeal and went right over to Gwen, his mother’s oldest horse. She had been retired from riding long ago but still had plenty of life to her. Often when there was a colt who was a bit mean, they were put into her care, so she could teach them some manners. She hadn’t gone wrong yet.
&nb
sp; “Wait, I remember this one…” Chastity said, reaching out and stroking her head. “She’s a bit grayer around the nose, but… is this your mom’s?”
Ben nodded. “You got it. She’s still kicking.”
“Wow. What a matriarch.”
“That’s one way to put it.” Ben said, laughing ever so lightly.
And down the line they went, feeding each one carefully, taking their time. For the friendlier horses, Chastity would rub their muzzles and scratch behind their ears, talking to them as if they were humans and could understand everything she was saying. The horses that were more ornery, she gave the appropriate distance.
He had always thought she was meant to be around animals. If he had ever met someone who was born for ranch life, it was her. All of the horses, even the less friendly ones, took to her, watching her with their large, honeyed eyes. He remembered being surprised at first—all those years ago—when she just waltzed in and made friends with every creature he introduced her to, but now he cherished it.
He realized that one of his ways of discouraging a money-hungry pursuer had been to bring the pursuer around the dirtiest parts of the ranch and the meanest animals they had. Inevitably, they would always decide he was more trouble than his parents’ fortune was worth. He’d never thought that Chastity had given him the idea, but seeing her laugh and coo at the horses reminded him how he had always been holding women up to a standard that he doubted any of them could ever reach.
After all, there was only one Chastity Parker. He had learned that lesson the hard way.
Eventually, however, they finished feeding the horses their treats, and when they stepped outside again, it was already dark. Before they could even reach the truck, Ben heard a sharp slap, and Chastity let out a light swear.
“I forgot how fast the mosquitos and horseflies descend. I don’t suppose the rest of our date is indoors, is it?”
“It’s not,” Ben answered with a smirk. “But don’t worry about that.”
Her Second Chance Cowboy: Brothers of Miller Ranch Book One Page 9
