“Is your date gone?” He swayed as he stood in place and looked around.
“Yeah, she left a few minutes ago. You just missed her.” I nodded quickly.
Which is a damn good thing, because I definitely don’t want him to find out the woman who shared my bed was Billy’s little sister.
“Good shit.” Liam chuckled. “I need a drink.”
“You look like you have had a lot of those.” I raised my eyebrows as he walked towards the kitchen.
“Yeah man, but if I’m still drinking—it’s technically not too early to start, right?” He grabbed a beer from the fridge and walked back into the living room.
“I suppose that’s some form of logic.” I shrugged and sat down as he crashed into the couch in a stumble-fall.
“Man, you’ll never believe who I ran into last night.” He sipped his beer and grinned. “Billy Lawson!”
“What?” I felt a surge of concern shoot through my veins.
“I know, man. Crazy right? He showed up at the bar and had money to spend. I guess he’s doing well.” Liam sipped his beer again. “The ladies certainly didn’t mind him buying drinks for them all night long—we took two of them back to his place. You should have been there man; it was awesome.”
“Shit…” I blinked in surprise.
I haven’t really talked to Billy since high school, and he pops back up the same night I have his sister spread eagle? That’s not good.
“Yeah, I invited him to come back here with me this morning, so we could keep the party going after we drank everything at his place, but he passed out.” Liam shrugged. “Oh well. I got his number, so maybe we can all meet up tonight.”
“I—yeah, I guess that would be okay.” I hid my concern the best that I could.
“Awesome, we can smash some pussy like we used to—maybe ask your new girl to come out with us if you don’t want some random chick tonight.” Liam chuckled and nodded.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I shook my head back and forth. “I may not even see her again.”
“Ah, well that’s cool too. We can definitely get some girls if Billy is going to keep blowing cash like he was last night—that shit might as well have been an aphrodisiac.” Liam lifted his beer to his lips. “I remember when I had that kind of money to burn. Too bad the credit card companies won’t raise my limit.”
“Probably a good thing.” I tilted my head to the side. “You’re barely paying your half of the rent as it is.”
“Yeah, but you only live once, right?” Liam stretched out on the couch. “Fuck, I’m tired. It’s hitting me all at once.”
“At least go to the bedroom—fuck.” I watched as Liam’s eyes closed before he heard what I said.
The conversation with Liam put things in perspective immediately. It shattered the fantasy I had built up in my head. I wasn’t going to be able to date Billy’s sister—especially if he was going to be hanging out with us again. Even having Liam find out could be a mistake, because he might let it slip. I wasn’t scared of Billy or anything—it was more of a mutual respect for our friendship. I might not have seen him much since high school, but he was still one of my best friends. I let my lust get the better of me, but I couldn’t do it again. I just had to end things and accept that it was a mistake. I didn’t regret what we shared, but Billy would see what I did as an act of betrayal, and we promised always to be loyal to each other—no matter what. I held up my end of that bargain with Liam by helping him get into the Fire Academy, and once I saw how bad his finances were, I convinced him that we should be roommates to save money.
Now I’ve got to honor that promise by letting Billy’s sister go—even if I do really like her.
Present day
“Gerard, are you home?” The front door opened, and I heard Liam’s voice.
“Yeah man, where the fuck did you go? We said we were going to meet back here around noon.” I raised an eyebrow as he walked into the living room.
“Sorry, I met up with some guys that I used to hang out with when I was paying bar prices for my drinks.” He sat down across from me. “Then I—paid bar prices for my drinks.”
“You’re drunk? Really?” I shook my head back and forth.
“Nah man, I just had a couple. I was trying to hit them up for money.” He waved me off.
“Any luck?” I leaned forward, hoping for good news.
“No.” Liam sighed. “This is stupid. People aren’t just going to give us money…”
“My parents wrote me a check, but it’s a drop in the bucket.” I shrugged and exhaled sharply. “Yeah, this is fucking stupid.”
“Maybe we should just do what Billy did and get the fuck out of here. We could be firefighters anywhere.” Liam leaned back in his chair. “It’s not like we have any reason to stay.”
“I guess I could take Rachel and go…” I closed my eyes and sighed.
“Take her?” Liam's voice had a slight growl to it. “I thought that was over. You said the ship had sailed.”
“It has—but… Fuck, I don’t know. I regret what happened. I wish I would have just told Billy—and I shouldn’t have just ignored her.” I sighed again and shook my head.
“Well, in the interest of not having another awkward situation—I kissed her last night.” Liam’s throaty-growl got even more noticeable.
“You what!?” My eyes flew open. “What the fuck, man?”
“Yeah.” Liam stood. “So, think about that before you start planning your fucking wedding with the girl you blew off.”
“Hold on.” I jumped to my feet as Liam walked towards the hallway. “You knew I had a history with her.”
“Yeah, and I asked you if you were planning to get back together—you said you weren’t.” He turned back towards me.
“We don’t date each other’s girls…” My voice trailed off for a second.
“We don’t fuck our best friend’s sister either—but I guess it’s only okay if you do it?” His eyes narrowed.
“Don’t give me that shit.” I took a step towards him and balled my fists.
“Oh, you’re going to hit me now?” Liam’s shoulders squared up, and his fists balled as well. “She wasn’t good enough for you two years ago, but now you’re going to punch your best friend because I kissed her?”
“It wasn’t because she wasn’t good enough!” My words came out in a roar. “Fuck!”
I didn’t have a right to be angry at anyone, but Liam certainly didn’t deserve my wrath. Every bit of anger that I felt should have been directed at the man I used to be—the pathetic excuse for one that didn’t have the balls to take what he wanted. Instead of swinging at Liam, I just walked away. I grabbed my coat, stormed out the front door, and slammed it behind me. I needed to get drunk—really drunk—drunker than I had been in years. I hated myself for what I had done. I let those memories fade, but seeing Rachel again was bringing everything back like a punch in the gut that I wanted to throw and receive at the same.
So what if Liam kissed her? At least he had a heart—he knew what it was like to have it broken. He would cherish her—treat her the way she deserved to be treated. He’d do the one thing I didn’t do, and that made me hate myself even more. The emotions from seeing Rachel again were fucking with me—I just needed to let that go. We had a much bigger problem to worry about anyway, and I had no idea how we were going to pay Robert Townsend before he sent one of his goons to collect the debt that was owed.
9
Rachel
“Are you okay?” Liam had a scowl on his face and a beer in his hand when I got back to the apartment after my shift.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lifted the beer and practically poured it into his mouth instead of taking a sip. “Just fucking perfect.”
“Is Gerard here?” I looked down the hallway.
“No.” Liam shook his head back and forth. “He’s gone.”
“Enough of this shit.” I walked closer. “What the fuck is going on? You both appear to be
upset about something—you go behind closed doors to talk. You were fine when I left; now you look like someone pissed in your fucking cereal.”
Gerard looked extremely troubled when he left, and I feel like there’s more to this than the history I have with him.
“Fine, we weren’t going to tell you but sit down. I guess you have a right to know the truth.” Liam exhaled sharply and pointed at the couch.
I have a feeling I’m not going to like this.
“Okay.” I glared as I took my seat.
“Your brother did something really, really bad.” Liam guzzled more of his beer. “He borrowed a bunch of money, and I think he skipped town because he couldn’t pay back what he took.”
“Oh my god.” I blinked in surprise.
“The guy he took it from? Robert Townsend? He’s not the kind of person you fuck over.” Liam shook his head back and forth. “Gerard and I really have to find a way to pay him back.”
“Why is that your problem?” I tilted my head to the side. “If Billy fucked the guy over, then let Billy deal with it.”
“That’s just it.” Liam sighed and grimaced. “It’s not going to matter. Robert Townsend is the kind of person who sends messages—and he’s not above hurting someone’s family to make sure the message is heard loud and clear.”
“Wait—are you telling me that I am in danger?” My mouth fell open.
“Yes.” Liam exhaled sharply and nodded. “Your father too.”
“Okay, I’m calling Billy and telling him to get his ass back here.” I pulled my phone out of my purse, stormed to my bedroom, and slammed the door behind me.
I shouldn’t have been surprised that Billy didn’t pick up the phone. I was so angry that I couldn’t see straight. It was bad enough that he used my father for years and ripped off his roommates but leaving us in danger—that was a whole new low. I stared at my phone when it went to voicemail, then left a message on his phone that was probably so laced with profanity that he wouldn’t be able to hear half of what I was trying to say. I took a deep breath once I ended the call and tapped the front of my head with my palm. I understood why Gerard and Liam were worried, but I was the one that needed to be concerned. I was the one that was in grave danger if Robert Townsend was as dangerous as Liam said he was. I needed to go to the police—I needed to warn my father. I needed to do something. I couldn’t do that by standing in my room, so I pulled the door open so hard it slammed into the wall on my way out.
“How much does Billy owe this guy?” I paused when I got to the entrance of the living room.
“Twenty-five thousand dollars.” Liam looked up at me winced as he spoke.
“Fuck!” I felt my fingers ball up into a fist. “Okay, tomorrow morning—we’re going to the cops. All of us. You guys have to know some cops, right?”
“Gerard and I know plenty of them.” Liam nodded. “But they aren’t going to be able to help us. Robert Townsend is above the law. You know those Mafia you see on television? He’s worse.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I walked over and sat down on the couch. “There has to be someone we can go to for help.”
“If there were, I wouldn’t be sitting here.” Liam lifted his head to look over at me. “Gerard and I tried to raise some money, but we just don’t have those kinds of resources.”
“I need—something. Do you want a beer?” I stood and started walking towards the kitchen.
“Yeah.” He finished the one in his hand and gave the empty bottle to me as I walked past him.
“At least my Dad is still on his trip. Maybe we can figure out something before then.” I shook my head as I walked back with the beers in my hand.
“There’s more—if this situation wasn’t already fucked up enough for you.” Liam took the beer from my hand. “Gerard knows that I kissed you…”
“How?” I blinked in surprise.
“I told him.” Liam shrugged. “It just—kind of came up earlier today.”
“How in hell does something like that come up in a conversation?” I raised my eyebrows inquisitively as I sat down.
“Gerard—well fuck.” Liam exhaled sharply. “He really feels bad about what he did to you. I think he wants another shot to make things right.”
“So, you just told him that you kissed me to try and deter him from it or something?” I narrowed my eyes at Liam.
“No—it just came out in the heat of the moment. Gerard was talking about running away with you because of this Robert Townsend situation, and I guess—I guess I didn’t like the sound of that.” Liam’s jaw tightened.
“I’m going to my room.” I grabbed my beer and hopped back to my feet. “We’ve got bigger things to worry about than that fucking kiss—and if Gerard thinks I’m just going to fall for him again after what he did before, then he’s crazier than you are.”
“Wait…” Liam leaned forward and grabbed my arm as I tried to walk by. “That kiss meant nothing to you?”
“This morning you told me the only reason you kissed me was that the beer went to your head—why should it mean something to me?” I looked down as he slowly stood to his feet.
“My wording was poor.” He sighed, and his eyes locked on mine. “It did mean something—and it’s not just because you’re beautiful. I really do like you.”
“I have a few trust issues right now.” I shook my head back and forth.
“At least trust in this…” Liam stepped forward and pulled me into his arms.
I wanted to pull away, but my head was spinning with everything that Liam told me. I thought he was going to kiss me, but all he did was hug me. His arms were comfortable—I felt safe there. I was just scared to trust him. I believed Gerard once—apparently, that was a mistake. But in the midst of everything, the chaos, and the confusion, other thoughts start to slip into my head. Gerard had to care—in some regard at least. If he didn’t, he could have just packed up and left. So could Liam. They were trying to fix the problem Billy created—they were trying to protect me. I had spent my entire life trying to be self-reliant, but all the self-reliance in the world wasn’t going to pay Billy’s debt. That was a problem I couldn’t solve. I finally leaned back from the hug and stared into his eyes for a moment. I knew he was going to kiss me—and I wanted him too—despite every voice in my head warning me against it.
The first kiss I shared with Liam set me on fire, and the second one might as well have been a headfirst charge into an inferno. I melted into his embrace until our bodies were pressed together. His hands traveled down my back as his lips crushed mine, and then he started squeezing my ass through my jeans. He had big, powerful hands—and having them on my body felt amazing, even if my clothes served as a barrier. His tongue swirled against mine, and I felt his hand move up—it slid underneath my shirt until he was squeezing my right breast through my bra. His other hand moved from my ass to the front of my jeans—playing with my button the way he did the previous night. I didn’t stop him—I let him unbutton the front and push his hand inside the waistband. God, his touch was so amazing on my bare skin. I wanted him—but I couldn’t. I was scared. I started having flashbacks to how I felt when Gerard devoured my innocence and never picked up the phone. I pulled away from Liam’s embrace.
“I’m so sorry.” I ran to my bedroom and closed the door.
“Rachel, did I do something wrong?” Liam was at my door, and he started lightly knocking.
“No, it’s not you—I promise.” I sighed and dropped face first into my pillow. “It’s me. It’s definitely me.”
I heard Liam’s footsteps as he walked away. My head was spinning, and my emotions were in turmoil. Why did Liam’s touch make me think of Gerard? Why couldn’t I just forget what Gerard did and go after Liam if I wanted him? I didn’t owe Gerard anything—I didn’t even owe him an explanation. He had his chance. I certainly didn’t care if Liam was his best friend, or if Gerard wanted to get back together with me. Yet there I was, face down on my pillow, wearing those same emotions on my s
leeve—just like I was when I realized that Gerard had no intentions of calling me again. Yet, he didn’t back down when he realized I could be in danger. He didn’t run. He was trying to fix things. It was clear that I wasn’t going to be able to move forward with Liam—or anyone for that matter—without talking to Gerard first. I hoped that I would find closure when I moved in, and I began to understand that I needed it more than I initially realized. There was no other way to move past what he had done.
Later that night
“Hello, gorgeous.” I heard a voice, and I turned to see Gerard, but it wasn’t really him—he was dressed in the same clothes he was wearing the night of our third date.
“I’m dreaming.” I blinked and tried to force myself to wake up.
“Maybe you are.” Another voice—it was Liam.
“Well, I don’t normally walk on clouds.” I looked down at my feet. “So, I’m definitely dreaming.”
“That means you’re in control, doesn’t it?” Gerard smiled and walked closer. “Nothing that happens here is real.”
“Which means you can do anything you want.” Liam walked up behind me, and I felt the heat of his breath on my neck.
“Anything…” Gerard lifted his hand and tilted my chin until our eyes were locked together. “You can tell me to go away or kiss me—whatever you want.”
“Um…” I swallowed hard.
Even in my dreams, he has the most mesmerizing eyes.
“I heard that.” Gerard grinned.
Blaze & Bind: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 10) Page 6
