“Me, too, with you,” she said.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, enjoying the feeling of his breath against her hair and his hand moving slowly over her back. She pulled back to look up at him, and she found his dark gaze locked on hers.
“I’m not the same person I used to be,” she breathed.
“Me neither.”
“I spent fifteen years trying my hardest to be who my family needed—being mom enough, being wife enough, being woman enough—and I’m done trying, Logan. I don’t feel like doing that anymore.”
“Woman enough?” He reached up and touched her chin with the pad of his thumb. “Mel, you’re woman enough. Trust me on that.”
She parted her lips to answer, but the words evaporated. All she seemed able to focus on was that dark intense gaze moving over her face. Years ago, she’d known what his kisses felt like, but it was different now. She let her eyes fall shut just before his lips covered hers.
His kiss started out firm, then softened as he pulled her into him. It was the kiss of a man who knew what he wanted, and knew how to get it. But she felt his self-restraint—his hands stopping at her back, the kiss filled with longing, and yet respectful.
Logan pulled back. “You were too good for him, Mel. You’re probably too good for the likes of me, too,” he said, his voice deep and soft.
She couldn’t help but wonder what his kiss would be like if that self-control shattered. Dare she imagine it? Yet, there was something about being in his arms that made her feel more than she had in a decade... His focus on her, his tenderness. She didn’t want to think this through, or talk it out, or ruin the moment with any forethought. Instead, she rose onto her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his once more.
That was all it took, and he let out a soft growl, wrapping her in his arms and lowering his mouth over hers once more. This time, he deepened the kiss, his hands sliding around her waist without hesitation and he exhaled a sigh as one hand moved up into her hair. When he pulled back again, she took a step back and tugged out of his arms. She licked her lips, feeling her cheeks heat.
“That one was my fault,” she breathed.
Logan met her gaze. “I’m not trying to complicate things for you.”
She’d wanted that kiss—she wanted another one, too, but she couldn’t play with this. She needed to restart her life, not trip into another man’s arms. What she really needed tonight was a distraction—something to keep her from doing that again.
“Ice cream,” she said. “I have a whole tub in the freezer—chocolate. You want some?”
Logan blinked, then laughed softly. “Actually, yeah.”
She’d read somewhere that chocolate triggered the same response in a brain as being in love. And since romance wasn’t a reasonable option, she’d make do with the runner-up.
And ice cream with Logan... It wasn’t quite the same as his kisses, but a friendship between them would last longer. This time around, she was a grown woman, and she wouldn’t be pining. Not for Adam, not for Logan, not for the life of being a mom that had slipped between her fingers. She was going to create the life she wanted, and live it. And it wasn’t going to rely upon something so fickle as a man’s feelings.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THAT EVENING AFTER Logan left, Melanie sat on her deck, watching the moonlight glimmer on the water. She had the lake house to herself again, and the silence felt deafening. It was strange how she could long for some quiet and privacy, and when she finally got it, it felt almost ominous.
Angelina had called, and she was on speaker, Melanie’s phone balanced on the arm of a deck chair while she stared out over the water.
Was it this lake house, filled with too many memories? This house was lonely when it was just her in it, and she couldn’t help but remember evenings just like this one when she’d sat on the deck with the kids watching the sunset. Back then, she’d felt so safe and secure—married to Adam, protected by his wealth. But she’d also felt isolated—her time and energy used up with the kids. She’d declined suggestions she get a nanny and free herself up. These kids needed a mother, not a nanny, and if she’d never have a baby of her own, then they were her chance at motherhood.
And now she wondered if that had been a mistake. Maybe she’d been trying to earn her place in this family. Because while her stepkids never had accepted her, even after all she’d done for them, other moms had their families—their place never questioned. It hadn’t been about how hard they worked. So who had been foolish, after all?
“You know what I was told when I was a young woman?” Melanie asked, leaning toward the phone. “They said that if you wanted to find a great guy, become the kind of woman a great guy needs. You have to bring something to the table. And I don’t argue that—I think you need to be a whole person with something to offer. But even that isn’t enough.”
“What did you bring to the table?” Angelina asked.
“I was willing to raise Adam’s kids and love them as my own,” she said. “That was something no other woman had wanted to give him. I was honest, loyal, willing to work hard. I wasn’t there to spend his money. And there were a few other women who would have married him for just that.”
“Maybe you should have spent a little more,” Angelina said ruefully.
“For what?” Melanie sighed. “I decorated our home. I dressed well, too. It isn’t that I didn’t do anything for myself, but...what I wanted was a life with him. I wanted intimacy, openness. I wanted a marriage.”
“Didn’t you have that?”
“I thought so. Apparently, I was wrong. Whatever it was that captures hearts—we didn’t have it. But I thought that trying hard would make up for it.”
“For Ben and me, it was the opposite,” Angelina said quietly. “I was enough for Ben when it was just the two of us. We were madly in love, but when his wealthy family came into the mix, I just couldn’t compete. I couldn’t be cultured enough, or fit in with their friends. To them, I was always that little peasant that Ben married—and in the end, they won. I didn’t bring enough to the table for his circle to accept me.”
“Did he leave you?” Melanie asked.
“No, I left him,” she replied. “Sometimes you get tired of being a disappointment.”
“But look at you now,” Melanie replied.
“Even all of this wouldn’t be enough for them,” Angelina replied. “Love has to overcome a lot of hurdles to bring two people together, and love doesn’t always clear them all.”
Melanie sighed. “That’s my point.”
“That said, you’re only forty,” Angelina said. “You have a long life ahead of you still. Why not find a guy you can grow old with?”
“Because if I could dedicate fifteen years of my life to a man and not know that he was cheating...if I could raise his kids and still end up on the sidelines as not mom enough for any of them... Ange, what I bring to the table is my work ethic—my determination, my loyalty. And I found out the hardest way possible that the one thing I have in my favor isn’t nearly enough.”
Angelina sighed. “That’s not all you bring to the table, Mel.”
“It was my brightest asset,” Melanie replied. “Looks—they don’t count for much without character. Without some substance to back you up, it’s just a moderately attractive face and figure. What’s that worth?”
Melanie’s gaze moved over the water, the moonlight rippling with the jump of a fish. “I need more. I’ve got to put my own life first, not sacrifice for love all the time. Maybe love needs to sacrifice for me.”
“What about Logan?” Angelina asked. “Things seem to be heating up between you two.”
“He’s got a life in Denver—his son, his business—and I’m not going back to Denver. I’ve got a chance to finally make the life I want, and if I start sacrificing for a guy again, I know I’ll regret it.”
; “I found a career I loved,” Angelina said. “I really enjoy running the lodge and planning for the future. A relationship is supposed to bring out the best in you, but you know what? This lodge brings out the best in me, too. I’m more creative, I’m more energized and I’m able to make a difference in the lives of my friends. That’s got to count for something. I don’t think the be all end all of life is romance anymore. Now, I think the point of life is help others in their hard times.”
There was a blip, and Melanie looked at her phone to see an incoming call—this one from Tilly’s cell phone.
“Angelina, I’ve got a call from Tilly,” Melanie said. “I’ve got to go.”
“You bet. We’ll talk soon. Bye.” Angelina hung up and Melanie picked up the call.
“Tilly?” she said.
“Melanie?” there were tears in Tilly’s voice. “You said I should call...”
“Yes!” Melanie said. “Where are you? What’s going on?”
“We’re at a hotel in Brigham—it’s some little town up in the mountains.”
“I know it—that’s about two hours from here,” Melanie replied.
“I need you to come get me.”
“Of course. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m just...mad. And you said you’d come, so...”
“I’m on my way. What’s the hotel called?”
“Um...” There was a shuffling sound. “Brigham Hotel. Very creative.”
“Are you alone? Is Simon there?” she pressed.
“I told Simon I’m done with him, and I wanted to come back. He said fine.”
“Is he still there?”
“Yeah, but it’s fine. I’m just mad. That’s all. I want to come back.”
Melanie sighed. “Okay, as long as you’re safe. I’m on my way. Call me if you need anything else, but I’ll be there in a couple of hours. Just stay where you are, okay? Don’t leave with him again.”
“You were right, Mel...” There were tears in Tilly’s voice. “I need better than him.”
She shut her eyes. An “I told you so” wouldn’t be right, but she could feel it with every fiber.
“I’m coming. Hold tight, okay?”
“Okay. Bye.”
Melanie hung up. Her heart was hammering. Tilly was up in some tiny logging town—not exactly a safe area for a teenager alone. What on earth were they doing up there?
She looked down at her cell phone. How inconsiderate would it be to call a friend to come with her at midnight? She wasn’t keen on driving up to Brigham on her own. Angelina was still up—but it wasn’t Angelina she wanted to call.
She grimaced, then dialed Logan’s number. She’d let it ring three times and then hang up. But he picked up on the first ring.
“That you, Mel?” he said. He sounded groggy.
“It’s me,” she said. “Sorry to wake you, but would you be willing to come with me on a bit of a road trip tonight? Tilly called—she’s in Brigham, and she needs me to come get her.”
“Yeah...” His voice became clearer. “You bet. I’m up. Do you want me to drive? I could pick you up, or—”
“I’m driving,” she said. She wanted him to come along and be the muscle to protect her on that narrow highway in the middle of the night. And she wanted him to tell her it would be okay. But she didn’t want him to drive. “I’ll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes, okay?”
“You bet. I’ll be outside.”
And she felt better knowing that she’d be doing this with Logan by her side. He was the kind of guy who made her feel more capable, just with his company. And if she was about to go confront Simon on Tilly’s behalf, Simon might respect a male presence.
Melanie grabbed her keys and headed outside to her SUV. It was time to bring Tilly home.
* * *
WHEN LOGAN SETTLED into Melanie’s passenger seat, he looked over to find her face looking pale and drawn.
“I didn’t actually think she’d call,” Melanie said. “I thought she’d call Adam, and I’d hear about it later.”
Logan put on his seat belt. “It’s like when they’re two years old and they fling themselves off a high point and just trust that you’ll catch them. They keep doing that—just in different ways. Before you know it, you’ve got a teenager on your hands who lives with this completely ungrateful belief that Dad—or Mom—can fix anything. They launch themselves out there, and you’re not there to catch them anymore, so all you can do is hold your breath.”
Melanie pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the gravel road that led to the main road. She seemed different tonight—there was a subtle change in her that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“Is that what this is?” Melanie asked.
“Sure looks like it,” he replied. “But she was right—you were here to catch her.”
“I’m two hours away,” she said with a shake of her head. “And I’m angry.”
“Yeah, well...you’re still driving out there.” He reached over and squeezed her shoulder, then pulled back again. “There’s nothing romantic about parenting.”
“I’m pretty type A,” she said. “When the kids were younger, it is was easier to keep everything under control.”
They pulled onto the highway into the mountains. The highway this far west was narrower, and when a semitruck thundered past them from the oncoming lane, the entire vehicle trembled.
“So...do you ever get tired of always having to be in control? Keeping all the balls in the air?” he asked.
“Sometimes,” she said. “But honestly? I like lining things up in my life, making a plan, ticking things off my to-do list. And at my age, I don’t want to let go of that. I think it’s a good thing to have some control over your life. If not by now, then when?”
“A solid point,” he agreed.
“And I’m tired of that being considered a character flaw. Our home ran well because I ran it. And those kids did well as students because I was on top of their projects and homework. My husband could bring clients home for dinner because I could order the best catering at the drop of a hat. Everyone loves the woman who has things under control until it comes to romance, apparently.”
Logan chuckled. “Evidently, you choose the wrong guys.”
“Agreed.”
Melanie’s tone was humorless, and he had to wonder if she was including him. Apparently, he wasn’t easy to be with, either.
“So what do you want, then?” Logan asked.
“What do you mean?” She glanced over at him, then returned her attention to the road.
“I mean in life, in the future going forward. What do you want?” he asked.
“I was talking to Angelina just before Tilly called, and she was telling me that she loves running her lodge. She’s passionate about it. It’s exciting, and it brings out the best in her.”
“Huh.” Logan looked over at Melanie. “I feel that way about my company.”
“I want that.” She met Logan’s gaze with a flash of a smile.
“A business?” he asked.
“Exactly. Something where all my hard work pays off. I’m tired of pouring all my energy into relationships. I want to build something concrete. I’m looking into a design diploma to get myself up-to-date, and then I want to start my own company.”
Just not in Denver.
“Then do it.”
She nodded, but didn’t answer.
“So what’s the plan with Tilly?” he asked.
“We’re taking her back to my place, and her father is picking her up tomorrow night.” She winced, and looked over at him. “I forgot about the funeral, Logan. You’re going to be exhausted. I’m so sorry.”
He had, too. His father was being laid to rest the next day at noon.
“It’s fine,” he said. “We’ll be tired together
...if you still want to come along.”
“Hey, you’re here for me,” she said. “I can be at the funeral for you.”
“Is this your work ethic?” he asked. Or did she want to be there?
“This is me as a friend,” she said, and her smile softened. “My work ethic is just one of the perks you get.”
Logan laughed, and he leaned his head back. They had almost two hours of driving ahead of them.
* * *
BRIGHAM WAS A small town surrounding a wood mill up in the Colorado Rockies. Logan had driven up here once when he was paid to deliver a car part to the Brigham auto shop. There wasn’t much more in this town than the mill, but the mill offered a solid union job with benefits, so it kept the town on the map.
When they arrived at two in the morning, the town was completely silent. A police cruiser pulled up beside them at a stop sign and the officer silently stared at them for a moment, then turned. Melanie’s phone gave the directions to the little hotel just on the edge of town. The neon sign in the window that announced Vacancy flickered, and Melanie pulled into a spot next to a vintage green Mercedes.
“Is that Simon’s car?” Logan asked.
“That’s it. They’re still here.” Melanie looked down at her phone and typed into it. “I’ll text Tilly.”
Logan opened the door and got out. He could hear the buzz of insects and the far-off bark of a dog, answered by the howl of a wolf that made his skin crawl. Nature was pretty close in a town this far from the rest of civilization. The hotel’s office was lit up, and the windows of the hotel all had drawn curtains and darkness inside. Except for one, where a light glowed behind the curtains. He was willing to bet that was the right room.
The door opened and Tilly appeared backlit in the doorway. She was wearing a white summer dress, and her hair hung limp around her shoulders. Her makeup was smudged around her eyes. She looked like a lost kid.
“There she is...” He could hear the relief in Melanie’s voice as she got out of the SUV. “Tilly, are you okay?”
Tilly shrugged, and her gaze moved over to Logan. “Why did you bring him?”
Their Mountain Reunion (The Second Chance Club Book 1) Page 17
