by Lili Zander
“Raven,” Saber says, not taking his eyes off Nero. “Go back to the Valiant.”
Saber was right. I don’t want to be here. As much as he deserves it, I don’t want to see Nero beat this slaver to death. I should have listened to the vampires.
Sick to my stomach, I flee to the safety of our stolen ship.
6
Zeke
Whatever they found on Gratvar’s cargo ship, it wasn’t good. Raven is pale. Her eyes are wide and staring, her shoulders are hunched, and she makes her way straight to the rec room.
I put the ship on auto-pilot and follow her. She’s making herself some tea, her movements mechanical. She doesn’t notice me, she’s so lost in her own thoughts.
Damn it. She should have never boarded the slave ship. Nero shouldn’t have either. Saber and I could have taken care of it.
“Do you want to be alone?”
She jumps, startled, and then her eyes focus on me. “What’s Banrilia?”
Fuck. I clench my eyes shut. It had to be children. Hiram Gratvar died too easily. “Some things are better left unsaid.”
“Don’t treat me like a child.” She takes a sip of her tea, her hands shaking. “Nero’s beating the pilot to death with his bare hands. I thought Saber would intervene, but he didn’t say a word. So I’ll ask again. What’s Banrilia?”
“Banrilia is a planet in the Chipwa sector. The pleasure houses there cater to vampires with very particular tastes.”
Her face goes blank. “Children.”
“Not sexually. The children are food. Some vampires believe that drinking the blood of human children prolongs life.”
She glares at me. “You know about it. Saber knows about it, as does Nero. Why is it allowed to exist? Is it because we’re a lesser species, Zeke? Is it because that’s what you really think of us? That we are food? That we live and die at the vampires’ pleasure?”
Every word slices into me, precise and cold and meant to wound, and I take it because she’s right. There’s no excuse. Banrilia should be burned to the ground. “Gerra Clay protects the planet,” I reply. “She is one of the five members of the Ruling Council. We are, none of us, powerful enough to attack her.”
Raven’s eyes flash with recognition. The humans on Boarus 4 were dangerously isolated, but even on the remote colony, they know the names of the people that hold their lives in their hands. “And she’s looking for immortality?”
“Immortality, wealth, power. Two generations ago, Gerra’s grandmother Chela abdicated the throne in favor of her younger sister, Raria. Empress Astrid is Raria’s granddaughter. It’s no secret that Gerra wishes to be in her cousin’s place.”
“Ma Kaila wanted me to unleash the virus on the vampire population of Boarus 4. I refused. I told her that not all vampires were evil. Now, I’m beginning to wonder.” Her tea sloshes as she slams her cup on the counter. “The virus in my blood could destroy millions of your kind, Zeke. You should be afraid of me. You should be terrified.”
She’s angry. It’s in her stance. She’s standing with her arms crossed. Her eyes are narrowed; her nostrils are flared. But underneath the anger, I can sense her distress, her sadness, and her despair. “You are not a killer.”
Her face crumbles. Tears roll down her cheeks. “Raven,” I murmur, closing the distance between us and gathering her into my arms. In the last week, she’s been shot at. She’s been threatened by Zimmer and attacked by slavers. She’s discovered the depths of evil that people will plunge to. Marya Revit is on the hunt for her; only the Valiant’s superior shields keep her at bay. And there’s nothing I can do to shield her from any of it. “Please don’t cry, kära. Please.”
I hold her as she shudders in my arms. I’ve never felt more helpless in my life. Long moments pass, and then she takes a deep breath and pulls away from me. “When this is all over,” she says, her voice hard. “When we have a cure, and the threat from Levitan is contained, promise me we’ll kill her, Zeke.”
“You have my word.”
She wipes her face on her shirt. “They’re children,” she says bleakly. “Some as young as three. They’re not going to be able to tell us where they’re from. How do we find out who they are? How do we get them back to their families? What if the slavers have killed their parents?”
“We’ll figure it out.” An idea is taking shape in the back of my mind, but Saber’s not going to like it. “We won’t abandon them, I promise you.”
“There was a slaver on board that ship, the pilot. He was so matter-of-fact about what he was doing.” She shudders again. “He offered to give us a share of his profits if we fixed his oxygen supply.”
Fool. “Nero will take him apart. It will be cathartic. We should have let him go on a rampage after Brome.” She stiffens in my grasp. “Does that bother you?”
“That Nero’s going to kill that man? No. Some people deserve to die.”
Her voice is hard. Raven is not a stranger to death—no survivor of the re-education camps is—but until we entered her life, she’d never killed anyone. That changed on the ice deserts. She’d been forced to shoot an enforcer who was sent to kill her. She’d done what was necessary, but she’d also cried for hours after she shot the man.
She’s not a soldier, hardened by battle and death. I’ve lost track of how many lives I’ve ended. I killed Klaus Zimmer in front of her. Does the memory haunt her?
“You saw me shoot the Overlord. Does it change the way you look at me?” I hold my breath as I wait for her to reply.
“I’m glad you did it,” she says fiercely. “I wish I’d done it myself. My father taught me that all life is sacred, a gift from the Great Spirit, but I’m not sure I agree with him. Zimmer needed to die.”
She leans on my shoulder, her arms wrapping around my neck. She’d sat on Saber’s lap the first time we’d met. Not by choice, but because on Boarus 4, she was considered property. To keep her safe, I’d pulled her close and called her a tasty morsel. The end had justified the means, but that kind of rationalization is a slippery slope, and I know too well where it ends. “I should have never slept with you.”
She stiffens. “Well, that’s flattering,” she says, pulling away from me. “That’s just the kind of thing every woman dreams of hearing.” She doesn’t meet my eyes. “If you don’t want to sleep with me, why are you here, Zeke? Are you keeping an eye on me so I don’t use my blood to kill every vampire I meet?”
I tighten my grip on her before I realize what I’m doing and let her go. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“You don’t think I have the stomach for it?”
I’ve hurt her feelings. “The stomach, maybe. The heart, no. Try to understand. You were in danger on Boarus 4. You said you’d never slept with anyone for pleasure. We took advantage of you.”
“If memory serves me correctly, I came onto you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I know my own mind. I wanted you.”
She’s so close to me. Her sapphire blue eyes are luminous. The sweet, irresistible scent of her tugs at me. I can smell her need.
My own desire flares to life, but I force myself to hold still. To resist the urge to kiss those soft, pretty lips. To slide my tongue into her mouth, to feast on her sweetness, to bask in her warmth. I shouldn’t. She’s in danger once again, and she’s entirely dependent on us. I shouldn’t muddy the waters.
A long moment passes. We both stay where we are, balanced between reason and need. Then Raven shakes her head, and the moment passes. “Tell me about Marya Revit.”
Regret stabs me. I wish I hadn’t pushed her away. “She’s an assassin. All her life, she has been trained with only one purpose. She is a weapon, the sharpest dagger in the galaxy. Harek Levitan controls her.”
She wrinkles her nose in confusion. “She could have had Saber. Why did she leave him? I’ve seen vids of Levitan. I don’t understand the attraction.”
“I don’t understand it either.” I shrug. “I’ve never seen the two of them t
ogether.”
“She was important to Saber. If it comes down to it, could he really kill her?”
I don’t want to find out. “Saber will protect you. We all will.”
“And I appreciate it.” She gives me a serious look. “But I don’t want to be a pet, Zeke. I don’t want to be a precious jewel, cosseted and cared for and pampered. You started to teach me how to defend myself on Boarus 4. Will you continue my lessons?”
The memory of her touch lingers. I resist the urge to pull her closer. I meant what I said. We rushed into things back on Boarus 4. This time, I want to take my time. “Yes.”
Merin’s not a yellow-sun world; the effects of slumber aren’t as potent as they were on Boarus 4. But slumber is still a vampire weakness, one that humans don’t share. Raven will be vulnerable during the day, and I will do anything that’ll even the odds.
I get to my feet and extend my hand to Raven. “That’s an excellent idea. Let’s start now.”
“Right this second?” She groans out loud. “What have I done?”
Footsteps clatter. Nero enters the room. He’s got blood on his knuckles and a cut on his lip. A purple bruise blooms across his abdomen, and from the way he winces as he breathes, I think he has a couple of broken ribs. Nothing serious.
Saber walks in on his heels. “I patched the OGS, but it won’t hold,” he says. “We’ll need to land soon. Did you find something?”
“Antaras Seven.”
Surprise flashes on his face. “That’s Jowth territory. They don’t like strangers.”
“I’m not a stranger,” I reply. “One of the Jowth ruling families owes me a life debt. Time to cash it in.”
7
Raven
A couple of hours later, the drugs have worn off. Every inch of my body is once again engulfed in pain. I do my best to keep it hidden from the vampires. If I scream out loud like I want to, they’re going to send me to the sickbay, and they’re going to force me to rest.
Resting would be smart, but I don’t want to be alone. My thoughts bounce from one dark place to another. The children on Gratvar’s ship. Zeke’s rejection. My tainted blood. Marya Revit, the assassin who hunts me, who Saber might still be in love with. It’s much better to be here. I snuggle deeper into the couch in the rec room.
Nero glances at me. “Sleepy?”
“A little,” I confess.
He pulls a warm blanket over me, and I give him a grateful smile. Across from me, Saber and Zeke are locked in a low-voiced discussion. Even with my bite-enhanced hearing, I can’t catch what they’re saying. It’s a serious conversation; both of them look tense and frustrated. I wish I knew what they’re arguing about.
It can’t be about the wisdom of landing on Antaras Seven; we’ve already come to the conclusion that we have no other choice than to land on the Jowth planet. We’ve set our course, and we’ll reach our destination in twelve hours. So will the Ruby Rose, Gratvar’s cargo ship, which is tethered to us.
For the moment, the children remain in stasis. We’ve talked about it. We have no idea what Gratvar did to their parents. For all we know, he could have killed them all. Maybe we’re being cowards, but none of us have the heart to wake them and find out.
Nero’s not listening to the argument. He’s staring into space. “Are you okay?” I ask him.
“I put our lives in danger.” He clenches his fist. “In the middle of that fight, I froze. Had Marya Revit not interfered, Gratvar would have killed us all.”
I move closer to him, ignoring the hot wave of pain that surges through my body. Resting my head on his shoulder, I lace my fingers in his. “You don’t know that.”
He doesn’t look at me. “I was responsible for our safety. I failed.”
I know this feeling. It corrodes you from the inside out. I won’t let it take Nero. “I want to tell you a story,” I whisper. “When I was fifteen, the guards drove a group of us into the ice desert and left us there. If we wanted to live, we had to find our way back.”
Nero’s grip on my hand tightens. “Why?”
“It was an object lesson. We lived and died because of the guards’ mercy. Their kindness. We weren’t allowed to forget that.”
Saber and Zeke have stopped talking.
“There were six of us. A blizzard hit, and Baird Shaw and I got separated from the others.” I close my eyes to block the expression of pity in the vampires’ eyes. I don’t want their pity; that’s not why I’m telling this story.
“Baird was my first lover. He thought he knew the way, but I was convinced he was leading us in the wrong direction. We got in an argument. I struck out on my own.”
I’ve buried this memory for so long. Unearthing it from the recesses of my mind hurts.
“I thought he’d follow me after he cooled off. I didn’t think he’d leave me alone on the ice. But he didn’t come. After six hours on my own, I turned around and walked back, retracing my steps. I found his body. He’d been mauled by a pack of s’kal cats.” I take a shuddering breath and fight off the darkness. “I’d grabbed one of the packs during our argument. It was the pack with the torches in it. With fire, he had a fighting chance. Without fire…” My voice trails away.
Nero presses his lips to my hair. It’s a gentle kiss, and it sends tendrils of warmth snaking through my body. “You didn’t cause his death.”
“I made a mistake, and Baird died. You made a mistake, and we’re still here. Gratvar and his fighters are dead, and we’re alive. Those children are alive. We saved them.”
His eyes remain haunted. Have I got through to him? I hope so.
Zeke gets to his feet. “Gratvar’s records are encrypted,” he says crisply. “I’m headed over to the Ruby Rose to try and crack the code. Nero, come with me?”
Clever Zeke. Left to himself, Nero is going to brood. He needs to stay active.
Nero nods and gets up. The two of them leave, and Saber takes Nero’s place by my side. “How bad is the pain you’re trying to pretend you don’t feel?”
So much for being stoic. “It’s fine.”
He rolls his eyes. “You’re a terrible liar, Raven. You bite your lower lip, you don’t meet my eyes, and your pulse speeds up.”
“Exactly how good is vampire hearing anyway? You can hear my pulse?”
His lips curl up. “I’ll make a deal with you,” he says. “Come to the sickbay and allow me to treat you properly, and if you’re a cooperative patient, I will answer all your questions.”
“All of them?” I have so many things I want to know.
He gives me an indulgent smile. “I promise.”
I beam at him. “Deal.”
He lifts me up as if I weigh nothing, and carries me into the sickbay. He sets me down gently on the bed there and approaches me with a needle. I make a face. “More vampire blood?”
“Mm-hmm.”
I shut up. He injects nearly a pint into my wrist. “You could buy vampire blood on Boarus 4, but it cost a fortune,” I comment. “You just gave me the equivalent of a year’s salary.”
He looks disgusted. “Boarus 4 is an abomination,” he replies. “Our blood is nowhere that valuable in the rest of the galaxy. It’s easily synthesizable, unlike human blood.” He looks at me, his eyes serious. “I’m sorry about Baird Shaw.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“The Empire is supposed to protect all its citizens, vampire and human. We failed you.” He sighs. “And we failed the children in Gratvar’s hold.”
I need to change the topic, or else I’m going to lose it. “What were you and Zeke arguing about?”
“He was telling me his plan to ensure the children were returned to their homes. I didn’t like it.”
I’m not the only one who can’t stop thinking about children. “What was the plan?” I make room for him on the bed. Great Spirit, Saber is stubborn. He’s got to be in pain, but he seems determined to ignore his injuries. “Sit.”
He settles next to me without complaint. Shocker. “
Zeke wants me to call Ragnar.”
I fight back an instinctive jolt of alarm. “Why?”
“He has the best spy network in the galaxy. If anyone’s capable of tracing where the children came from, it’s Ragnar’s people.” His lips twist into a wry smile. “I’ve known Ragnar all my life. Zeke thought it would be better if the request came from me.”
I can’t hold onto my alarm. The vampire blood is making me feel drowsy and relaxed. “We stole his ship. Would he even listen to you?” I turn on my side so I can see Saber’s face. It’s such a good face. Strong and capable. “He would know what’s in my blood by now, wouldn’t he?”
“Almost certainly, yes.” He leans back against the wall and closes his eyes. “Zeke is a master strategist. He's looked at the situation from every angle, and in his opinion, this is the only way that guarantees the safety of the children.”
“Wouldn’t the Jowth help?”
“The Jowth find the concept of slavery repulsive. They would be sympathetic to the situation.” He exhales. “However, they’re also hard negotiators. They’re not in the habit of doing favors. If we want them to help the children, we’ll have to pay.”
“Money?”
“No, not money.” He clenches his strong jaw, and my brain short-circuits for an instant. He’s so intensely male. “I am a high-ranking officer of the Shayde. For the time being, at any rate, until Levitan gets around to firing me. The Jowth will want information that undermines the Empire.”
I swallow. No wonder Saber looks like he carries the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. “They’ll want you to turn traitor.”
I hate this. Saber has spent his entire adult life in the army. He’d risen to the rank of Colonel, reporting directly to General Harek Levitan. Then he’d thrown it all away to save me because he believed that it was the right thing to do.
But giving up Shayde secrets to the Jowth is going too far. It just feels wrong, and I don’t want Saber to be forced to make that choice. He’s already given up too much.
