When he met Grace’s gaze, she moved her purse off the chair beside hers and motioned toward it. He sat down heavily, with a sigh that seemed to come from the center of his bones.
“I’ve never been so scared.”
“Me, too.”
“You acted quickly, Grace. You were—you were amazing.”
“You’re the one who thought of the water hose.” She glanced down at her apron, which had been quite wet but was finally dry. Rubbing her palm over a water stain, she said, “Danki.”
“For what?”
“Bringing us here. You didn’t have to do that. She’s not...” Her lips trembled and she pulled the bottom one in, drew a deep breath and pushed forward. “She’s not yours, but you reacted as if she was.”
He claimed her hand. Adrian liked holding hands, and Grace found great comfort in his touch—in that connection between them.
“Grace, I care about you and Nicole. Maybe more than you know.”
She nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. She was suddenly quite exhausted. The clock on the wall assured her it was only eight in the evening, but it felt much later. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“Arguing with you. Flying off the handle. Losing my patience. Take your pick.”
He leaned away, holding her at arm’s length. “What? You’re not perfect?”
“I most certainly am not.”
Adrian pulled her back against his side. “Duly noted.” Then he added, “In case you’re wondering, I’m not perfect, either.”
“Two imperfect people.” Grace offered a fake shudder.
“We’ll push our way through whatever comes our way.”
“Like ant bites.”
“Yup.”
“And silly arguments.”
“Those, too.”
They were silent for a moment, but the earlier fight still weighed on her. It all seemed so trivial now. “As you’ve probably noticed, there are some subjects that are a bit touchy for me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Like rumspringa and mistakes and not being perfect.”
He didn’t respond. He simply waited. She loved that about him—his willingness to wait and let her gather her thoughts.”
“I made mistakes, Adrian. During my rumspringa. There are things...things that you don’t know about me.” She was too tired to cry. Too tired to protect her secrets.
He didn’t move away.
He didn’t question her.
Instead, he kissed her on top of the head—it seemed everyone was kissing her head—and whispered, “I love you, Grace.”
Then tears did sting her eyes. She closed them, trying to find just the right words to lay out her past. Now was as good a time as any. In fact, it was the perfect time. They were alone. It was quiet. Adrian didn’t need to dash off and care for an animal.
But the day’s emotional highs and lows had been too much. The adrenaline that had propelled her across the yard to rescue Nicole was gone. She was left with a deep-seated tiredness. Her thoughts circled round and round—Nicole crying, thinking she was covered in mud, seeing ants, Nicole’s face looking up in confusion, then the piercing cry. Running toward her. Adrian suddenly at her side with water. The mad dash to town. The doctors and nurses and the yellow get-well card.
Her head nodded and she nearly allowed herself to sleep. She tried to remember what they were talking about. Rumspringa. She needed to tell Adrian about her past. She rubbed both hands over her face, stood and fetched a cup of water, then sat down beside him. Still, he waited.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
But it wasn’t meant to be, apparently, because for the second time that night, Nicole interrupted them. This time, she was calling for her mamm and exclaiming over the “yellow boons” and demanding something to eat because she was hungry.
The nurse bustled into the room carrying a tray with Jell-O and a small box of juice.
The chance to confess all to Adrian slipped away, but Grace would do so. Maybe not in the next hour, maybe not even that night, but she would tell him. Because he mattered, and she didn’t want anything to loom between them.
She knew, with complete certainty, that the only way to move forward was to face her past.
Chapter Twelve
The trip to the hospital changed Adrian. He’d understood that he cared for both Grace and Nicole before that mad-dash ride into town. He’d realized he was happier and more at peace when he was around them. But now he accepted that they had changed his life in some fundamental way.
When he woke in the morning, his first thought was of them.
As he worked, he’d toss around ideas of various ways to brighten their day.
When he went to bed at night, they were the last images on his mind.
His life wasn’t about himself anymore or even about his animals—though the zoo brought meaning and purpose to his daily work. He loved sharing Gotte’s creatures with folks who attended the tours. But they weren’t the reason he’d been placed on this world. He was there to love and care for and cherish Grace and Nicole.
Within twenty-four hours of the ant attack, Nicole was back to her old self—toddling around, delighting over any yellow item and proudly showing off her boo-boos. Nicole was the same sweet, precocious child she’d always been.
But Adrian was forever changed, and it seemed that Grace was, as well. There was a softness about her now, as if the wall that had existed between them had finally been breached. Perhaps that was the purpose of hard times. Maybe they brought two people together in ways that a dozen afternoon picnics could not.
The extra tours and additional animals—he’d picked up an injured owl, several axis deer and a miniature pig—claimed much of his attention. He saw Grace every day, but sometimes it was for only a few minutes. He vowed to change that, and soon.
It was time to ask Grace to be his fraa. It was past time. Why hadn’t he asked six weeks ago? But he’d never asked a woman to marry him. He wasn’t exactly sure how it was done. Where would be the best place to ask her, or did that even matter? What was the best way to explain how much she meant to him?
He wasn’t Englisch. He couldn’t simply drive into town, stop at the local jewelry store and buy a diamond ring large enough to represent his love. Amish didn’t wear jewelry. But picking a bouquet of wildflowers seemed somewhat inadequate.
He needed someone else’s opinion, someone he trusted. George had been helpful, but he wasn’t sure how much George understood women. What he needed was a woman’s perspective. So five days after the hospital trip, Adrian hitched up his buggy and went to see his schweschder, Beth. She was only three years older, and she’d always seemed to understand him in a way that the rest of the family didn’t. She’d even understood his need to open an exotic-animal farm. Beth was the one who had told his parents, “Gotte put this dream in Adrian’s heart. Let Adrian see if he can make a living from it.”
He’d sought her advice many times that first year. Now Adrian needed to talk to someone about Grace. He needed to decide if his next step was the right one. He didn’t want to go too slow...or too fast.
“Surprised to see you in the middle of the day.” Beth was out behind the house hanging laundry on the line.
His six nieces and nephews were scattered about the place. The oldest was five and there were two sets of twins. He didn’t know how she handled them all, but everyone seemed happy and healthy. Several came running to hug his legs, or ask if he’d brought any of his animals with him, or demand that he come and see something.
“Ya, ya. But let me talk to your mamm first.”
Beth raised an eyebrow, then motioned to the back porch. The temperature was average for July but still quite hot. She fetched two glasses of iced tea.
“Ice? Y
ou’re getting all Englisch on me.”
“Yes, well—the new propane refrigerator we bought has a larger freezer area. I claimed a corner for ice trays. Take a sip. You’ll see. It’s very cooling.”
He drank half the glass in one gulp. “Hits the spot, for sure and certain.” Then he pulled off his hat and wiped his brow.
“So what’s this thing you need to talk about?”
Beth was good about that. She never wasted time beating around the bush.
“I want to ask Grace to marry me.”
“I see.”
“I love her.”
“Do you now?”
“And I love Nicole. I want them to be my family. I want kinner and a home and a fraa to share my days, to share my life with.”
“Well. That’s quite a speech. I believe I need some oatmeal bars to help me digest this news.”
She scooped up a child and dropped her in Adrian’s lap. Another was yawning and rubbing his eyes, so she carried him inside. “Give me a minute. I’m putting this one down for a nap.”
He heard a sleepy “But I’m not tired, Mamm” as they walked away.
She returned for the boppli that Adrian was holding—the boy had been named Aidan because Beth had thought the infant looked like his onkel.
“This one needs to go down, too,” she cooed as she reached for the child.
When she returned, she was carrying a plate of oatmeal bars, which the remaining children rushed to consume.
“One each, and I set cups of water on the kitchen table. Take them inside.”
Finally, she turned her attention back to Adrian. “I’m happy for you, bruder. I really am.”
“But?”
“I didn’t say but.”
“And yet I heard one nonetheless.”
She didn’t answer right away, which was strange for Beth. Usually she knew what she wanted to say and had no problem saying it. Her youngest, who was close to Nicole’s age, crawled up into her lap, and she set to rocking the child.
“Grace and Nicole will be a gut addition to our family.”
“I agree.”
“Have you told Mamm and Dat?”
“Nein. I haven’t even asked Grace yet.”
“But you think she’ll say yes.”
“I hope and pray she will.”
Beth nodded as if he’d confirmed everything she’d been thinking. “How much do you and Grace talk?”
“We talk every day.”
“Nein. I mean...” She waved a hand back toward the kitchen, where they could just make out the sound of her three oldest children talking. “Sometimes it’s hard to have a real conversation with bopplin around.”
Adrian thought about the discussion he’d had with Grace in the hospital. It had seemed she was about to tell him something important, then Nicole had awakened and they’d shifted their attention to her.
“We’re both pretty busy,” he admitted.
“Daniel and I try to spend a half hour or more on the back porch each evening, no matter how tired we are. We need that time to speak to one another without interruptions.”
“Okay.”
“Make time to speak with Grace. That would be my advice.”
“Okay.” This time, he said it more slowly. He wasn’t really sure what the big deal was, but he trusted that if Beth said it was important, then it was.
He stood and stretched, then walked down the porch steps.
His nephew Joshua dashed past him before turning around and walking backward. “Come on, Onkel Adrian. You said you’d come take a look.”
“Guess I’ll go see what that’s about.”
“Probably a nest he spied in one of the maple trees. Your nephew has your fascination with animals.”
“Gut to hear.” He walked toward Joshua, who had run to the tree and was now lying under it, staring up into its branches, but Beth called him back.
“When you talk to Grace, try to be open.”
“Open?”
“Don’t be so didactic.”
“Didactic?”
“Stop repeating what I say. You know what the word means.”
“I’m not didactic.”
“You tend toward declarative statements.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t end every comment or thought with an exclamation point. Try a few question marks.” She readjusted the sleeping toddler in her arms. “Sometimes what you think is right isn’t right every time in every way.”
“That makes no sense!”
“See? A declarative statement. It’s one of your faults.”
Adrian jerked off his hat and slapped it against his leg. He did not speak in declarative statements. Not all the time anyway.
She smiled at him. “How else could you say what you just said—‘that makes no sense’?”
“Um...”
“Try something like ‘That doesn’t really make sense to me. Could you explain what you mean?’”
Adrian rolled his eyes. “It’s not like that between me and Grace. We understand each other.”
“Right.”
But twenty minutes later, as he was driving back toward his place, he remembered the argument they’d had over rumspringa and choosing right from wrong. Had he been didactic then?
He didn’t think so.
But maybe...
Well, if he had been, he wouldn’t be anymore. He loved Grace, and he was going to tell her so and ask her to marry him. And then he’d listen, and he wouldn’t judge.
Perhaps he should make a list of pointers for how to go about having a conversation with her. Just when he thought he’d conquered this courting thing, just when he was feeling confident around Grace, his schweschder had to go and throw a stick in his buggy wheel.
Unfortunately, the more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that possibly she had a point.
He could always count on Beth to be honest with him.
The smart thing would be to follow her advice.
He’d reclaimed his good mood by the time he pulled into his lane. He could do this. And hopefully within the next few nights, he’d find time to speak with Grace alone. Then they could begin their life together.
* * *
Two days later, Grace received word that Adrian’s dat had suffered a heart attack.
“They say it was a small one.” Beth had stopped by on her way home from the hospital. “They say it’s gut we made it to the hospital so quickly.”
“It’s hard to think of a heart attack as gut in any way.”
“True, but his cardiologist says very little of the heart muscle was damaged. They put stents in two other arteries and are starting him on blood thinners and statins to lower his cholesterol.”
“So, will he be okay?”
“Oh, ya. The doctor says he might be plowing the fields again by fall, but he needs to take it easy—stop working ten-hour days.”
“Will he do that?”
Beth shrugged. “My mamm can be pretty bossy if she needs to be. If the doctor says to shorten his workday, Mamm will see that he cuts back on the hours he spends in the fields.”
Grace thought of her own father. He seemed so healthy. It was hard to conceive that her parents could grow old and develop health problems, though most people did. She had a sudden urge to find them and give them both a big hug.
“Adrian asked me to stop and bring you up-to-date. He’s sorry he hasn’t been by to visit.”
“Oh!” Grace felt her face blush.
Beth’s smile grew until her eyes squinted.
Grace felt ridiculous. Why couldn’t she control the way her body reacted when someone mentioned Adrian’s name? She wasn’t a youngie anymore. She swiped at hair that had escaped from her kapp. “It’s no problem. He nee
ds to be there for his family. We understand.”
Beth lowered her voice and leaned out the window. “He came to see me about you.”
“What?” Grace squeaked. Forcing her voice lower, she asked, “Um...what do you mean?”
“Just needed someone to talk to, I guess. He’s been bouncing his feelings and ideas off me for years.”
“Oh.”
“He cares about you, Grace.”
“I see. We...that is I...actually Nicole and I and even my parents, we care about him, too.”
Beth picked up the reins and released the brake on the buggy. “Don’t worry if you don’t see him for a few days.”
“Okay.”
“Or weeks.”
“Weeks?”
“He’s going to have his hands full, taking care of those animals on his place while at the same time helping at my parents’ until our dat gets back on his feet.”
“Of course.”
“But he’s thinking about you both, and he’ll be by when he can. That was his exact message.” She offered a little wave, then called out to the mare.
Grace watched Adrian’s schweschder disappear down the lane.
He’d talked to Beth about her?
He was thinking of her?
And he’d stop by when he could?
It wasn’t the way she’d envisioned the next few weeks going, but then life often threw surprises out in the middle of the road. Surely she could handle a few weeks of not seeing him.
She kept herself busy tending their vegetable garden and cooking for the tour groups. Seth took over guiding guests through Adrian’s farm. Grace sewed more clothes for Nicole, who was growing faster than the green bean vines in the garden. Grace also attended the last of her baptism classes. The final lesson covered excommunication and separation from the church. The topic terrified her. She loved and valued her church. She didn’t want to be separated from it.
The Baby Next Door Page 14
