by Simon Archer
“Fun?” I couldn’t help but follow her, as the grip she had around my wrist was strong enough to brook no argument. “What do you mean, fun?”
“Fun,” Aylin repeated with a nod. “I’m sure you remember the concept.”
Eric was the only one left standing when we resurfaced from the meeting room. His eyes were wide when Aylin burst through the doors with me in tow. He nibbled on a tremendous corndog, and he wordlessly followed along, swept up in the wake of Aylin’s hurried pace.
“Where are my girls?” I asked as we rushed along.
“They frolicked off to play somewhere.” Eric gestured vaguely, apparently unconcerned. “The twins are brooding near the concession stands, by the way. Matt bought me a corndog,” he said proudly. “I think we’re making great progress on that friendship thing. He almost smiled at me, it was amazing.”
“Matt? Never!” I laughed. “Did his face break?”
“Totally,” Eric beamed like it was the best moment of his life so far, “but I won’t tell him that. I think we’re buds now.”
“Yeah, well, I was here first,” I joked back. “He can get his own bud.”
“Maybe you should both fight over me,” he perked up. “That would do wonders for my self-esteem!”
“I’m not fighting Matt for your attention.”
“Why not?” Eric gestured down at his athletic body, which he’d worked hard to maintain these past few weeks. He’d never be the powerhouse that Matt was, but he’d trained hard to keep up with everyone else. “I’m totally worth it!”
“Of course you are, buddy.”
When I shot another glance back at him, it took me a moment to register the corndog, but then I did a double-take and gave him a look.
He shrugged and took an obstinate bite out of it while keeping pace with Aylin. “Not a vegetarian. I keep saying that, and no one ever believes me.”
“That’s because you eat like a rabbit,” I pointed out. “Corndogs are beyond your territory.”
“Why’s that?”
“It’s got meat, Eric,” I explained. “You don’t eat meat.”
Eric waved the corndog like a magic wand and shot back, “Is this actually meat, though?”
“Fair point,” I said as Aylin took us through a door, and suddenly we were outside again, the sun shining down through a cloudy sky. This was the first time I had come out into the stands proper. People crowded all around as they ate all kinds of fair food from various concession stands. Some held signs, others entire banners across a group. A few recognized the three of us, but they largely ignored us in favor of the current rescue match going strong in the field.
And as I watched them all, I realized I was starving. I abruptly pulled on Aylin’s hand just as we were about to climb up toward our seats.
“Is there a problem, Starlight?” she asked, concern blossoming across her face.
“The problem is that there is all this wonderful fried food, and we aren’t eating any of it.” I gestured around the area. “I mean, have you ever had a funnel cake?”
“I have,” Eric chimed in happily as is pointed at the stand so hard he nearly dropped his corndog. “They make them out of churros.”
“Then it’s settled.” I smiled at him before turning my attention to Aylin. “Let’s get one.”
“Well, if it is that good, I would very much like to try one.” She beamed at me, and I knew I’d made the right call.
As the three of us approached the stand, the smell of grease and cooking pastry filled my nose and made my stomach rumble. Thankfully, the line wasn’t very long, and after only a few minutes, we found ourselves at the front.
I let Eric order his churro funnel cake while I surveyed the menu, and when he was done, told the pixie-haired redhead my order.
“I’ll have the big one.” I pointed to the giant funnel cake painted on the front of the stand. It was the size of six funnel cakes, had three flavors, red velvet, standard, and churro, and was absolutely drenched in whipped cream, strawberries, and powdered sugar.
“Are you getting it for the challenge?” the lady asked as she looked at me dubiously.
“There’s a challenge?” I asked because I’d meant to bring it back so we could all share it, but before she could even respond, Eric piped up.
“Yeah. if you can eat the whole thing in thirty minutes, it’s free!” He grinned at me. “You can totally do it, Nick.”
“I also think you can do it, Starlight,” Aylin added and when I looked at her, I suddenly very much wanted to do it.
“Okay, sure!” I smirked. “One challenge.” I smacked my belly. “Nothing like six thousand calories of sugar to rev you up.”
“Damn straight!” Eric said with a bounce. “Man, this is gonna be so cool. I watched someone try earlier, and he barfed all over the floor before he was a quarter full.”
“He did?” I asked as Aylin ordered her own, modestly-sized funnel cake with blueberries and powdered sugar on top.
“Yeah!” Eric said as he took a huge bite of his corn dog and chewed obnoxiously. “It was glorious!”
“I do not believe you will have that problem, Starlight,” Aylin said, and I felt her hand squeeze mine. “You are the most amazing man I have ever met, so if anyone can do it, you can.”
I’ll be honest. The look she gave me right then almost made me believe her. I say almost because it was then that the lady handed me my funnel cake.
It was the size of a small car and could have fed a family of four with ease. The six cakes were each the size of a hubcap, and there was so much whipped cream on it, I could have dove into the dessert and taken a swim. Of course, that would have been difficult with what looked like two massive scoops of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries topping the whole thing.
“It’s glorious,” Eric murmured as I took the plate from the lady at the counter.
“It is truly magnificent, Starlight.” She grinned at me. “Back on my world, the more a man can eat, the greater his…” she trailed off into a bright flush.
“Right,” I said as I tried to pay for my friends’ meals.
“Listen, sugar,” the lady said as she eyed me carefully. “If you eat that whole thing, I’ll give you all of it for free.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously. “But if you can’t, how about you pay me double?”
“Is that a bet?” I asked as I looked back at the funnel cake. It was so big and my stomach while large, was nowhere near the size.
“Call it a good old fashioned throwdown.” She threw me a wink before glancing at Aylin, and I instantly knew her game. I couldn’t refuse. Not with Aylin there rooting for me.
“You’re on,” I said as I took the massive cake and moved to one of the tables.
“Good luck, darlin’,” she called as I set it down in front of me and grabbed a fork. “Time starts now!”
I tore into the funnel cake with reckless abandon. I speared a large strawberry with my fork, rubbed it in some cream, and swallowed it in a single bite. It took me another size bites before I hit cake number one. It was red velvet, and the taste of it nearly sent me to Heaven.
“Holy shit,” Eric said as he watched me devour the first cake in a couple bites. “It’s only been thirty seconds.”
“My Starlight is truly amazing,” Aylin said with a quick glance at him.
Then it started to get hard because I realized that there was a layer of Bavarian cream between the first red velvet cake and the next one. I hastily dug into it, and I realized I had a problem.
“Eric,” I said around a mouthful of red velvet. “I need a second fork. It’s time to dual-wield this bitch.”
“Oh em gee!” Eric cried as he raced off. “This is so cool!”
By the time he returned, I was already halfway through the churro portion, and it was definitely my favorite of the two. Hey, what can I say? I’m a fan of cinnamon and sugar.
“Catch!” he flung the fork to me, and I deftly caught it left handed. Now, I wasn’t exactly a champion
eater or anything, and my stomach was definitely starting to get a little full, but as I plunged my left fork into the remains of the churro section and deftly pulled it into my maw, I was starting to feel pretty energized.
People had appeared all around us, watching and whispering.
“Say, is that the guy who got the Delacruz medal?” a short, squat man asked Aylin.
“Yes, that is my Starlight,” she said, and the sound of her voice and the sight of her smiling face sent me into overdrive.
My stomach was already twisting up, and I could feel funnel cake in my throat, but I pushed it down and made my way to the last set of cakes. The traditional funnel cakes were perfectly crisp and covered with a layer of powdered sugar that made my heart hammer in my chest as I put the first mouthful into my maw.
I could feel myself sweating, but I wouldn’t give up. I was going to do this. I stabbed both forks into the cake and ripped it free of the plate. Then I opened wide.
“Oh, wow. Look at all those teeth! There has to be a million of them!” someone else said as I shoved another bite into my mouth. “They must go all the way down his throat and into his stomach.”
“I hear when he powers up, he can bite through a steel door with a single bite,” another person chimed in.
“Wow, even his teeth are strong!” another called as I finished the fifth cake and looked at the last cake. I was so full I could barely breathe, and I was pretty sure I had funnel cake where it wasn’t supposed to be because every space in my body seemed to be full of it.
“What’s the time?” I asked, glancing up at Eric.
“You have seven minutes left, Nick,” Eric said with admiration in his face. “You can do it!”
“Go, Starlight!” Aylin cheered, and their votes of confidence spurred me on.
I set my twin forks on the last cake and cut into it. Honestly, I was barely tasting, barely thinking. I just cut a bite off, shoved it in my mouth, chewed and swallowed.
And then the craziest thing happened. My fork hit an empty plate. I stared at it dumbfounded and confused.
“Where?” I started to ask when Aylin and Eric let out a cry of joy and latched onto me.
“You did it!” Eric hollered so loud it nearly rang in my ears.
“My Starlight must be a true champion if he can eat so much,” and as she spoke the look in her eyes was strangely carnal. “His appetites likely cannot be easily satisfied.”
I definitely wanted to explore what she meant by that, especially when she licked her lips, but that’s when the lady from the stand came over.
“Well, darlin’, you sure are something, and a deal’s a deal.” She grinned at me. “But I’ll do you one better. If you and your friends come take a picture next to ‘the big one,’ I’ll give you all the funnel cakes you can eat. On the house.”
“Well, how can I refuse that?” I said, and so with great effort, I pulled myself to my feet and let Aylin and Eric help me over to the sign.
The lady got into the picture with us, and as she posed, I was suddenly feeling way better than I had in a while.
“So,” I said when we’d finished and were heading back to the stands with several extra funnel cakes in tow, “that was fun.”
“It was,” Aylin agreed as we stopped at some high seats so that we had a good view of the entire field. I sat down tentatively, unsure where this silent wrath had come from, but happy enough for the company. She rested one hand on my knee, and quietly looked over the sights with those wide, awestruck eyes I’d fallen for so many times in recent months.
When Eric caught me trying to decipher the banner symbols to determine which teams were playing, he said, “Anston vs. Krona.” Eric pointed down at the field with his corndog. “The purple guys, they’re Anston. Pretty small fries in the competition… I mean, they’re well trained but not well funded. They’re from the east coast.”
He nibbled his corndog after his eyes were drawn to it again, and then pointed towards a series of white and gold players. “Krona’s another story. It’s not far from Carter, actually. It’s a really big metropolis at the foot of some mountains in a pretty dense tundra. One of aunt Adelaide's cousins lives out that way. They keep in touch pretty often.”
“Tundra? As in snow?” Aylin’s face lit up even more than seemed possible, and she twisted in her seat to address Eric directly. “Do you think we could go there someday? I haven’t seen snow since leaving home.”
“Winter’s already settled in,” I noted, “so you’ll see snow here in Alexandria pretty soon.”
“It’s true.” Eric nodded as he gestured up at the moody sky. The arena did its best to keep the seats warm, but the winter chill couldn’t be entirely ignored. “It probably won’t snow on the tournament, but it’ll be a close call.”
Aylin seemed content with the weather, and I wondered if perhaps her home planet had a colder climate. She didn’t seem overly distressed by the summer warmth, so I’d never thought to ask before. I took her hand where it still rested in my lap and searched her expression for homesickness.
“Did you see a lot of snow in your homeworld?”
“It depended on the area,” she admitted, then shrugged gently. “And the time of year, of course.”
“So not that different from us, then,” Eric muttered. He continued to chew on his corn dog while he watched the match pretty closely. Krona’s team had the rescue target outside of her barrier and was fighting Anston to get her over the safety line. The match would be over soon.
“No… but I do miss the snow.”
“We’ll have to do something about that,” I decided. “Maybe when we get a break.”
She blushed but nodded gently. “I would very much like that, Starlight.”
Krona pulled the rescue target across the safety line, and just like that, Anston was out of the tournament.
“After this, it’s the Brand verses Krona,” Eric said. “Obviously, most people are betting on Krona to win, but…”
“Dad won’t take a fall this early.” I shook my head. “The Brand’ll win.”
“Yeah.” Eric nodded, looking uncomfortable. “Krona will make them fight for it, though. They mean business.”
As Krona and Anston collected themselves and walked toward the locker rooms, black and red cheerleaders poured from a side door, and I knew who sent them the moment I saw them. They were carrying pom poms that looked to be made out of actual fire but didn’t burn them. Each wore the burning fist symbol of my father on their chests, and they danced out to form up in front of the stands reserved for him.
“I-N-F-E-R-N-O, he’s our lord, our H-E-R-O!” they cheered. “Blessed be his name, blessed be, blessed be, Innnnferno!”
“Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.” I buried my head in my hands and muttered, “He brought the Infernets. Of course.”
Eric was absolutely enthralled. “The what now?” He eyed the cheerleaders like anyone would, admiring their high-cut skirts and the bizarre fiery pom poms they wielded. My father was clapping along to their chant in the front row like a toddler being shown an especially catchy song. He bounced in his seat and whistled enthusiastically.
“The Infernettes,” I explained as I resisted the urge to groan. “He has his own cheerleading squad.”
Aylin was confused, and she tilted her head as the girls danced a rather racy number just a few feet in front of my father. “What are cheerleaders?”
“Oh my god, Nick, I want my own cheerleading squad! Your dad is--” Eric caught himself and amended whatever he was going to say with, “--completely insane, obviously. And with very poor taste. I mean… look at those fire poms!”
“Yeah, I think everyone is looking at the fire poms,” I snorted.
“Yeah!” he cried. “They’re so high cut-- I mean, dangerous! They could get burned!”
“Uh huh.” I nodded slowly.
Aylin giggled at our exchange. “They are quite pretty, but I do not understand their purpose.”
“The fire poms?” I shr
ugged and pointedly didn’t look at the cheerleaders. Instead, I scanned the tournament brackets for hints on who we might be facing later. “God only knows.”
“No, no, the… cheerleaders?” Aylin nodded down at the Infernettes. “What is a cheerleader, Starlight?”
“It’s in the name,” I said, pointing first at the girls and then to the audience who chanted along with them. “They lead the cheering. They get people excited before a match. You know, riled up.”
“Oh! Oh, sometimes, we had executions for that.” Aylin nodded, her tone utterly innocent despite the actual words. “It is all quite exciting. I enjoyed them.”
Eric’s eyes darted back to Aylin, and his brows climbed into his hairline. “Public executions? What?”
“Yes.” She nodded, smiling sweetly. “Among other things. Do you not have them?”
“Not since the Middle Ages.” I chuckled. “Your world sounds…”
“Terrifying,” Eric supplied. “Cool, but terrifying.”
Aylin didn’t seem to notice or care that we disapproved. She was too focused on the cheerleaders who flipped one of their own off the top of a big human pyramid. The girl landed smoothly, and the crowd roared in approval for her.
“They move as if they can fly,” Aylin whispered, suddenly nostalgic. “I think I understand the appeal.”
“You once said walking was difficult,” I recalled. “Does everyone on your planet fly? Like, all the time?”
She nodded, and her gaze went distant as she recalled other memories. “Our architecture was built for it. Touching the ground wasn’t forbidden, exactly, but only… only sclava were made to do so. It was…” She struggled for a moment to explain, possibly worried about the implications. “It was not a flattering thing.”
Eric asked, “Sclava?”
Aylin’s shoulders rose defensively as she crossed her arms. Instead of explaining, she changed the subject. “When Doctor Delacruz and her company came to us, we had to lift them personally because we do not have flying vehicles such as your people do, and we did not want to insult them by forcing them to walk. The ones who carried Delacruz became her honored escort.”
