by Laikyn Meng
“Is that begging I sense in your voice?” I pick up my phone and dial Knox, turning my back to him. “Hello, darling, I need a loan.”
“What did Dante do now, Rou?” His smooth cigar voice booms through the speaker.
“He thought he was cleverer than the lioness herself.”
“Roulette, I will handle this! We don’t need his help!” Dante throws a tantrum.
“He is a problem to your empire, Roulette.” Knox says it slowly, testing me. I hold my tongue from lashing out.
Lowering my own voice, I reply, “I know.” I just wish I could be the one to take his life away. But even demons have limits and promises they won’t break.
Dante grabs me and tries to shake some sense into me. He doesn’t want another man, especially Knox cleaning up his disaster.
“Touch me again, brother, and I will be the final reason you can't catch your breath.”
Dante backs down and sulks in the chair.
“Have Leonie call me when she gets a chance, Knox.”
“Don't you have her number?”
“You know I don't save any contacts.”
“But you remember mine.”
“Because it's been the same number since we were teenagers. You never change Knox. When can I expect the wire transfer?” I tap the screen on my computer, waiting for my site to load.
“Three, two, one, you're golden, sweetheart. Now, be sure not to spend it in one place.”
“I'll return the favor shortly.”
“Don't bother. I won't notice it's missing. Not until Leonie does, then we will have some issues.” Knox is always carefree and casual.
“Smart ass. I always settle my debts.”
“Angel has been cheating on Patch.” The fucker went there when I am already faced with a threat to the home front.
“So? He claimed his bride, made his bed.” I scratch my neck and look at my nails.
“Patch can't have kids. They have two boys, or so she claims. Doesn’t seem to take hints very well. He seems indifferent about it.”
“Well, he's never been fertile. Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you miss Patch, and you haven't hung up.” Knox is teasing me, and I do call him my friend.
“I don't have time to crush on a man that didn't choose me.” I straighten up and refresh the page, seeing the numbers match up perfectly.
“Now that isn't how I heard the story.” I can hear his smug smile through the phone.
“Dante, go fetch the tech guys; the Internet is being slow.” Dante goes because he wants brownie points. But it is mostly, so he doesn’t see my daydream.
“Well, Knox, it’s been a pleasure. Talk to you soon. Don’t be a stranger; tell your daughters we should have a spa day.”
“I’ll let them know, darling.”
“And Knox?”
“Yes, Roulette?”
“Thanks for bringing back Roman.” Knox was a man with a plan. I didn’t even have to give up anything to make it happen. Roman meant more to both of us than we wanted to admit.
“Always.” We leave each other with that acceptance.
I close my eyes, and I can remember every detail about that day. The day Patch came back to claim me, and I chose another side.
I walk through the casino on the arm of Marley, my wedding ring twinkling for all to see. He escorts me along the rows to meet the lawyers. With Jordan away on tour, I became the only predecessor to his uncle’s estate.
While I pinky promised after our marriage was final what was mine would be his, until death do us part. Well, sometimes I am foggy on the details.
But as we rounded a corner, I was struck with a different illusion. There he was, wearing white of all colors, Patch Mahoney. I’d never stopped dead, breathless in my life. But when I saw him, he followed the arm that encircled me closer. He saw the ring claiming I belonged to another.
He didn’t even move, waiting a few seconds to see if I would go to him. Choose him instead of this. I couldn’t, though; I couldn’t back out now. Even if the marriage was a lie, the façade was being built.
The only thing I saw was his mouth gaped opened as he left me walking down a different future.
Max buzzes in a phone call as I am about to leave for the night.
“Leonie, good evening.”
“Roulette, good evening. My call is a formal, yet personal response. I want to thank you for helping ensure Kalonie’s safety. Mutti has been a great influence on my sister.”
When I heard Knox’s daughter was headed to the pen, it was a bit surprising. Maybe because I had only been introduced to his eldest child. But I assumed they were all alike.
“You’re welcome, Leonie. She would have survived by your last name alone.” I take out a blunt and flick the flame to alleviate the tension in my shoulders.
I met Regina, nicknamed Mutti, years ago, before she was a hopeless housewife beaten by her husband. Back then she was a ferocious lion, who got knocked up by the lion tamer.
But Mutti became the grandmother over the prisons. I got her transferred to Knox’s prison with the promise to lessen her years.
“How are you doing?”
“Well, I am doing well.” Her breath seems even; she controls herself like no other person I know of.
“Leonie, you know I do not offer my connections without wanting something useful.”
“Yes, I do know.”
“It’s time we use that brain of yours for something bigger than we have ever attempted before.”
“Meaning?”
“We are talking Guantanamo Bay charges.”
“Freeing someone from that area or we will be sent there if the authorities found out?”
“They both go hand in hand, now don’t they? Has your father made any more leeway with Roman’s extraction?”
“He has a plan.”
“Who is he choosing to send to the slaughter this time?”
“His name won’t be familiar, but it seems your friends True and Denver know of him. Will that be all, Roulette?”
“Have a goodnight, Leo.” I hang up the phone and use the corded phone I just love.
“WHEN I CAME INTO MY bedroom, I expected to have a quiet moment alone, a second of privacy.” I walk to my side of the bed, as Knox’s blond hair is flopped over to one side.
“Roulette, I’m bored...” His body lands on the bottom of the mattress with a huff.
“Oh no, what ever will we do? The country boy isn’t entertained.” I pick up a literary magazine and scan the pages for the article I was reading.
“No one expects you to be smart and gorgeous, honey.” My sappy friend stares at the ceiling tracing imaginary shapes.
“Was never one to listen to expectations; you know that about me, Mr. Krause.”
It’s thirty seconds later. Knox lets out another sigh and I roll up my magazine and smack him on the head to stop.
“You are no fun; I am going to see if I can find Cassie.”
“She has a show, sweetie.”
“Being grown-up sucks, Rou.”
“Fine, let’s have some fun. I want you to try and seduce me. Like you would any other ordinary, mundane woman. But you have to try harder than just entering the room.”
Knox looks at me, wondering if I am serious. “Will this fun end with me being in physical pain?”
“Forget it, never mind.” I turn to grab another magazine, but one of his hands catches mine.
His other hand trails up my arm to cup the side of my jaw. “I never thought I would get the chance.” He bites down on his bottom lip and shakes his head slowly as he looks down at our connected hands. “Sometimes life gives you these incredible moments, and you hope like hell you remember every detail.” His thumb begins to caress the corner of my mouth as he stares at it lovingly.
I can feel my skin heat up, my heartbeat increase. Every word inches closer; the smooth silkiness from my robe isn’t nearly as enticing as Knox’s sales pitch.
But o
ur eyes meet too quickly, and I utter a name that isn’t his, and he says, “Roman. Fuck, I miss Roman.”
The moment is gone, and he is back to whining like a little baby.
“Well, do something about it then. If you don’t initiate change, then you have no room to complain.”
“Where did you learn that? Summer camp?”
“Listen, pretty boy, girls like me didn’t get to go to girl’s camp. We went to a refugee station until we could afford to escape.” I lean back on my soft pillows and pull my legs beside me. “I think I saw it on some holistic coaching promotion.”
“I’ve got to get out of here, or I will go crazy.”
The door sways open, and just like her connection to Mother Earth, the air shifts as True walks in with her male grown puppy dog.
“Denver, so nice of you to tag along.” I tighten my robe, pretending I am embarrassed they found me in such a risqué state of dress.
“Rou, still dressing like a homewrecker.” Denver winks at me, and I roll my eyes.
“Should I request sleeping bags and smores? Is there a reason you are stomping over my quiet evening in?” I find some slippers and slide them on as I make my way over to my dearest friend. “True, tell your man he has to be nice to me; if he doesn’t, I will have to show him how many ways I know how to use a rope.” I give her a frown.
“Dude, I’ve seen that shit; it is not pretty. Traumatizing, and I know you’ve seen a few things being involved in the Heartbeat—”
“Flatline.” True corrects the blue-eyed babe.
“Whatever you want to call it, sweetie. But seriously, Roulette is a vicious monster when it comes to torture.”
“Jealous, Knox?” I pour myself a drink and give it a swirl.
“Impressed, Rou, always impressed.” He stands and straightens his dress clothes, walking over, and takes the drink out of my hand and downs it.
“Where is the Russian Vodka?”
“No, not my good stash! I sent you a case of your favorite whiskey. It is stocked in your hotel room.”
“But your room is so much better than mine.”
“Where is Jordan?” True asks, because she likes to keep me unsettled. She wants to creep through the cracks and shine a light on the crime scene.
“He is residing on thethirty-first floor for the foreseeable future.” I turn to the windows, staring out over my town—the town I envied, aching for it to fill the empty gaps. Beautiful beams of lights dance every hour. It was a place you went to never feel alone.
“I’m sorry about your separation.” True comes to stand by my side, and her head leans against my shoulder. The men are bickering in the background.
I laugh at her apology. “Don’t be. Heavens, people get divorced every day. I’ll be a new woman in a month.” I force our foreheads together. “I do not want your sympathy. True, it was bound to happen. I’m just upset I wasn’t the one who got out first.”
“Does anybody want to try my new line of edibles?” Poe walks in, and we all turn, relieved for some recreational drugs.
When we have ingested most of the explicit items, we sit around the coffee table.
“Knox, truth or dare?” I swirl the martini around, loving how the liquid dances.
“Pitiful, since I don’t want to kiss anybody in this room. I choose truth.” He chucks out his chin, high and mighty.
“Boo! Grow a vagina, you wimp!” Poe is on another level tonight as she hoots and hollers for drama.
“Fine, fine. Knox has free will, even in my bedroom, Poe. Be patient, darling.” I straighten my spine and look directly into his pearly blue eyes. “What is your favorite form of torturing people, Lennox Krause?”
The delicious American man rubs his cheek, and he grins. “I don’t torture anyone.”
“Liar, you have a dungeon.”
“How do you know about my dungeon?” He points his finger with the hand holding his beer.
I shrug, looking to the ceiling. “You know I get off on that shit.”
“Kinky queen.” Poe wiggles her eyebrows at me. I give her a wink.
“Honest, though, I let other people deliver the torture. I am more of a spectator of the sport.”
“Awe, pretty boy doesn’t want to get his hands dirty now?”
“Shut up, Rou! Not everybody likes to feel cold blood on their hands!” Knox chucks popcorn at my face, and I let my smile go wild.
“You’re right; I really like the physical aspect of it. I am definitely more hands-on when it comes to cruelty.” Taking chocolate and popping it in my mouth.
“Oh, goody, my turn!” Knox claps his hands, and we all giggle. He closes his eyes and twirls his finger around. “Perfect, Denver! Truth or dare?”
Denver’s shoulders are hanging forward, probably the only one who isn’t high on an extra substance. Silly man is never fun, always serious.
“Truth.” As he lets out a sigh. He knows he must be here because True wants to be here. When I look over at her, she has a sweet smile on her face.
I don’t know what comes over me, but I lean open my arms and hug her.
“What are you doing?” Leaning away from me.
“Let me love you; this may never happen again.” I hold her close to me until the 30 seconds past normal makes me retreat.
“Are you willing to sacrifice your best friend for someone else’s freedom?” Knox burps, and we all pretend it grosses us out.
Denver looks down at the carpet between his legs, and we wait.
“Fuck, you guys are boring! I want to see something sexy and boobs!” Poe stands up and points right at True. “True, I triple dog dare you to give us a dance that would do justice to Tulip.”
“True—” Denver interferes with the request. But True is her own woman, and she delicately stands to the front of the room and begins to sway.
There is no music, but somehow, wea all hear the subtle beat as she lifts one arm above her head and the other. It becomes a contemporary masterpiece.
There is no shedding of clothes to excite us further. True’s body tells us a story as its shape contracts and elongates to unique dimensions.
I inch closer to Poe, who sniffles, and I let the flood of tears bring new life to my skin. It’s a lyrical ensemble of movement. A leg lifts, fluttering like a butterfly’s wing. One hand travels under her chin to push her head to rise higher.
With a spin and twitch of her beating heart, she ends her solo performance, and I think we all saw a miracle.
Denver is the first to stand, and he grabs her, and his mouth is on hers. She doesn’t moan, and he isn’t grabby with his hands. But for the first time, I realize their spell isn’t locked in trauma. Their true-love bond is manifesting in the best ways.
“Now we know why people paid good money to see the Tulip bloom.” Poe wipes snot on her sleeve.
“What the fuck kind of shit did you give us?” Knox is whimpering along with us. “I don’t know what I just experienced, but I don’t want to die yet.”
“Daddy Knox scared of raw beauty?” I scoot over to him and hug him.
“Gosh, I wish Cassie was here to put her legs behind her head and walk on her hands like a gremlin. It would really put the cherry on top.” Knox shakes his head to clear the fogginess.
We all laugh, and my friends become my family. Tonight, my hotel room on the 13th floor of the Chicago Leo is our home. At this moment, I know genuine gratitude.
Chapter 15
Dante
It was a rookie mistake.
Not even beginner's luck helped me. There wasn’t any God or angels ready to save me from this shitshow.
The money was gone.
At least the funds I had available to me. I took it all, even against our top analysts’ advice, but I was a man who’d been in the game way longer than that woman had ever been alive.
But I couldn’t be trusted to listen to my gut anymore. London wasn’t the first spot on my record of reliability.
“How could you have been such
a fool? Those dealers weren’t even seasoned. They gave me flat hands all night. I should have fired their asses on the spot!” I itch behind my ear, and when I bring my fingers away, there is blood.
I laugh at myself, too used to the pain; the sting doesn’t even make me flinch anymore. This small trickle of blood is nothing that would paint the walls back in Armenia.
Daddy always did like how dark it soaked into the carpet. Momma never could get it out of her favorite rugs. But maybe that is what happens when you love someone too much. You become blind to the episodes and move things around, so it doesn’t seem so bad.
We chased freedom; my sister and I needed a fresh start, and Roman helped us get here. Teenagers not knowing jack shit about real life. But there we were, sneaking onboard a cruise ship, and we suddenly found ourselves in America with a dream.
With every win, that dream grew. And we had every intention of hanging it, fucking it, and taking everything it could give us and then some.
If you come from the sanity of an insect and rise to the status of a king, something breaks in you along the way. You are no longer a boy who was beaten. Or a brother who wasn’t strong enough.
For once, you were the fucking man, and you wouldn’t let anyone else ever forget it. So, tonight was another terrible one, the worst of the worse. The microchip in my pocket was my previous allegiance of any kind. But I bet it for drugs, and any minute someone was going to come collecting.
I knew I screwed up. But I would never fuck over my sister. I would rather die.
I knew this was coming. Roulette was lenient with me. Honestly, I knew if I was anyone else on this godforsaken planet, the first time I screwed up, I would have been put to sleep.
But here I am, flipping over mattresses trying to find another sensation. My room is destroyed; Cassie doesn’t even go in there anymore. And after the fiasco with Syron, the place needs burning to be cleansed.
I’m too busy scavenging for drugs to hear Leonie, Knox’s daughter, walk through the open door.
“Interesting take on hygiene. Are you in the midst of a remodel?”
“What the fuck do you want? Haven’t you taken enough from me?” I go to the couch and fling the cushions off.
