by J E Mueller
“Yeah, it was all right, but I do prefer life here. There’s something just wonderful about the random chaos that comes with this type of community. Kids learning how to control their gifts, accidentally turning a sibling into a frog and not knowing how to turn back for hours…”
He chuckled at the memory. “It’s just such a different experience than what others consider normal. The rest of the world feels a little dull to me. Many prefer a more simple life and that’s great, but right now this is the best thing for me.” He looked curiously at me. “What do you think would be the best thing for you? Say you woke up tomorrow in full control of your life. Then what?”
I considered his question for a moment before answering. It was a fairly constant question at the Order. We’d laugh and joke about silly things that could be normal lives. “I’m torn between too many answers. There are places I’d love to stay, and people to see. Maybe visit what’s left of my family and see if they forgive me for leaving. Maybe not. I’d probably just die of shock at this point.” I laughed a little. It was a rare moment in which I missed my family, and my heart ached to know what they were doing now.
Aside from what the locals said, I knew nothing about what was going on with my family. They were alive and David and Sandra were co-ruling. Sandra focused upon tending to the north and east while David oversaw the south and west parts of the kingdom. Zarek was put in charge of defense. Both Sandra and David had gotten married. David about three years ago and Sandra’s was around a year before that. Zarek was soon to be wed as well if the rumors were true. Or maybe he already was. How long ago did I hear that? My heart felt heavy and I pushed the thoughts away.
I pushed away the sadness and continued to give Lee my answer, “Since that’s not likely, I guess the better question is who should I talk to around here about working on this curse?” If I was going to stay, I might as well work on my goal of finding answers.
Lee took the hint quickly. “I’ve got a few ideas. I’ll introduce you to some people tomorrow if they’re up to it.”
We sat in silence for a moment. I wondered how many of them were born into magic and how many came to stay here because of curses. It was something worth pondering. I wondered if my family had heard of this place if things could have been different. My memories threatened to come back from the depths of my mind, but I fought them aside. They could haunt me later.
“Do you know how you got your curse?” he asked softly.
I nodded. “There once was a king, mad for war and lustful to expand his lands.” I don't know why, maybe it was the memories already at hand, but I told him everything. Maybe it was because I linked his visions to the pain my own curse had caused me. There was something about just how understanding he was of everything. It had to have been long overdue, and after all that had gone on and everything that had recently drained me, it needed to come out.
After the story was told, I sat there a moment. His expression was thoughtful but I decided I didn’t want to know his thoughts. Instead, I went to bed, leaving him to think of things however he wanted. With my memories freshly rekindled, the rest of my tears could come out in private.
15
The next morning I was relieved to not feel tired or sore. My nightmares had only flared up for a moment, and for the rest of the night, I slept in peace. The sun was already up as I got ready and I could smell breakfast. To my surprise, Lee was the one making it instead of Juni. He noticed my surprise and laughed.
“Mother’s helping my aunt today,” Lee said as he flipped over the hot cakes he was working on. “Food will be done in a moment.”
“How’s Tella doing?” I sat down while he finished cooking.
“Worse for wear. Everything startles her, but I don’t think anything aside from time will fix that,” he replied with a sigh.
“Poor girl. I wish something could help but I think you’re right. Time can fix this one. That and getting all those men out of the woods. I still can’t believe how many there actually are.” I leaned back against the wall, remembering the swarms we had seen.
Lee nodded, bringing over a plate and handing it to me. “Good thing we sent for help. It’s a four-day ride if they push themselves, but even if they’re slow it’ll take no more than a week. Glad they took the horses.”
I blinked in surprise. “I have no idea where we are in relation to the castle.”
“There’s a map in the living room you can look at later. Eat,” he insisted.
Thinking for a moment, I picked at my food. I hadn’t known my exact location for some time now. It was weird to think that I had ended up so close to my family. Four days ride was not very far at all.
Lee caught onto my mood. “If you’d rather be gone before they get here we can work on that. Eat now, worry later.”
It was actually nice that he understood I’d rather avoid any chance of running into my siblings. There was a great chance Zarek may come to sort this mess out. Part of me was more than certain someone would recognize me.
I nodded and ate a couple of forks full of food before getting up to find the map.
“Sit, I’ll grab the map and you can look at it while you eat.” Lee rolled his eyes at me.
“I’m not going to starve,” I grumbled and continued to pick at my food before deciding to just eat it all quickly.
Without a reply he walked out of the room to fetch the map. By the time he returned a few moments later, I had finished half of my plate.
“We’re right here.” He pointed south of where the castle was and I saw his town already circled in red. Lee sat down to eat while I slowly finished and looked over the map thoroughly.
He waited until I had finished eating before talking to me. “Where do you think you want to go?” It was an innocent enough question.
“Either Faraden or Rayshire. Faraden is closer, and I’ve been there before.” I replied pointing at the map. It’d take less than two days to walk to.
Lee looked at the map. “That’s on the border of where those guys are camped. You’d just be missing all of it if they haven’t moved far.”
“I like to make everything a challenge,” I smirked.
“Our riders left two days ago, and after they get there I wouldn’t expect them to be back for another five or six days…” Lee mused aloud. “So we’ll plan for you to leave in the middle of the week. It’d be pointless to plan a route until we can see if they’re still hanging around or not.”
“I feel like you’re just trying to get me to stay as long as possible.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
“That’d be nice, but you’d slip out the door eventually. You’re much too stubborn.”
“You’re no better,” I retorted.
“I’ve accepted this about myself,” he answered, shrugging. “The stubborn goody-two-shoes, here to save the day.” He stood up proudly and went to clean the plates. “It’s still the best plan. After that little battle, they’re sure to be angry, but hopefully they’ll give up and decide to leave. That’ll clear out the path and there’ll be less to worry about.”
“Does that mean you won’t follow me?” I asked.
“No promises.” He threw a smile my way.
“Weren’t you the one saying you loved living here?” I looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“Travel is still a nice option once in a while, and you’re an interesting person. I’d love to get to know the Master of Flight better.”
I gave him a pointed look before I went back to looking at the map, slowly checking over all the villages I had visited.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone so fun and witty to travel with?” Lee asked, when he had finished his task.
“I’ll let you know if I meet someone like that,” I replied in a bored tone not looking up.
“I’m hurt!” Lee gasped. “After all I’ve done!”
“You do make good hot cakes, I’ll give you that.” I glanced up at him.
“Thank you.” He bowed dramatically.<
br />
I laughed, and then the laughter died quickly. He was becoming a friend, and I really didn’t want any attachments here.
Lee knew too well what I was thinking. He had had some time to consider what I had told him last night. “I’m going to ask the few I had in mind last night if they have any help they can offer you. I’ll be back in a bit. Okay?”
I just nodded not bothering to point out he wasn’t supposed to wander alone.
After he left I sat there for a moment, conflicted over what I should do. The facts were clear. Lee was trying everything he could to be my friend. My fire wouldn’t simply kill him, but I was still a danger to everyone else. I worried that his lack of concern would cause others to forget I was actually dangerous. Staying put wasn’t the best option. That wasn’t likely to deter him either, though.
Our matching stubbornness was problematic. I could leave, sure, but he could also follow me and there really was no way of stopping him. Even getting ahead of him would only just delay things. If he wanted to follow, he could. I admitted, if I said I really didn't want him there he’d listen, but more than part of me enjoyed his company, and he knew it. There was too much to consider in this situation and it was giving me a headache.
Juni returned while I was still sitting and thinking.
“Everything okay?” she asked worriedly.
“You know, no.” I shook my head. What did the truth even matter? “But everything's not wrong so yeah…” Words failed me, “I guess that’s what's going on.”
She slowly nodded, “Okay then…” She paused and looked around the room, “I forgot what I came in here for. How about some tea?”
“I’d like that, thank you.” I smiled as best I could in reply.
Juni started the kettle and went about getting tea ready as she spoke to me. “Lee mentioned that you’re having a bit of a rough time with some things in your past. Don’t know what they are, but if you’ve got to go, then be safe about it. Just know we’ll still be here when you’re looking for some support.”
“Thank you, I will.” I’d never forget this place. It was as unique as the Order. “How is your sister’s family?” That was more important than my want for flight.
Juni smiled, “They are fine. Things aren’t getting done as quickly as she’d like but there's been a lot of help. Tella’s been learning how to work with some of our baker friends. Being in the center of the village for most of the day will help a lot. It is also keeping her very busy, which she may need more than anything.”
“Keeping busy is often a wonderful thing,” I knew that fact too well.
Tea was soon done and we sipped in silence. Within a few moments after I had finished mine Lee returned.
“Hi, Mother.” He called, giving her a hug.
“And where have you been now? Leaving our guest all alone?” she scolded softly before her voice sharpened. “You’re not supposed to be out alone right now! It’s dangerous.”
Lee rolled his eyes. “I missed you too, Mother. I know I’m your favorite, but if you must know I was visiting Aggie and Lela.”
She nodded, the names quickly changed her tone as if it was a keyword for something else. “How are they?”
“Aggie is as crabby as ever and Lela misses your zucchini bread,” Lee replied, grabbing himself some tea. “Lela also says she has more of that fabric you were wanting for your blanket.”
“I suppose I’ll have to make her some bread then.” Juni sighed. “That can wait until later. I’ve got to get back to Margie and Nessa.” She stood up slowly. “Don’t give Aggie too much grief today, and tell Lela what I said.”
“Yes, Mother.” He nodded, sipping on his tea.
“I suppose we’re going to see them today?” I asked as Juni left.
“Yep! Aggie’s sister had a curse and Lela does a lot of work with energies. There should be a lot of good information if nothing else.”
“Never hurts to learn something new,” I replied not putting any hope into it.
“Exactly,” he beamed, oblivious to my tone. “Ready to get going then?” Mr. Helpful was ready for action.
“Suppose so.” I stretched and stood up, feeling a bit sore from the hard chair. “What’s there to lose?”
16
The two women were sipping tea outside when we arrived. Aggie was an older woman with gorgeous silver hair, and Lela appeared to be in her late thirties. Her acorn brown hair framed her face and fell down to her waist. I could see the equally appraising looks as we approached. Lee, not bothered by anything, smiled and waved as we got closer.
“Morning, ladies!” he called out before introducing us.
Lela smiled kindly at me. “Lee doesn’t disappoint. You have much fire inside you.”
Aggie nodded. “There’s nothing I can offer you that will help.”
Her words took everyone by surprise, but she held up a hand to stop our comments and continued. “I don’t say that unkindly. You are on the correct path - as twisted as you’ve made it, you will reach the end. There will be more wrong turns, but an end is in sight nonetheless.”
Lela shook her head. “This child doesn't need more cryptic advice.” I could agree with that, but Aggie wasn’t having it.
“There isn’t a word I could say that she would understand or believe. I was gifted, my sister cursed. I see much of the same in her as I did my own flesh and blood. Knowing the future, I see two strong paths. The one in which I tell her anything causes more delays. She can hate me and my words, but she’ll find a path more quickly this way.” Aggie stood slowly and turned to leave. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”
I wanted to hate her, but at the same time, she had given me a sort of time frame. Insight. What did that mean to someone who saw the future? How far out could she see?
Lela tried to smile at us as her friend left. “Excuse my old friend, she has been through much.”
“If she thinks that’s what's best, I won’t argue with her,” Lee replied, undeterred. “She said nothing about your help though. I don’t think that was a mistake.”
“Of course. She would have gladly told us if it would be unwise for me to help. She doesn't sugar-coat even the strawberries,” Lela agreed. “Let’s begin, then. I can see your fire. I can see that it’s barely contained within your body. From my knowledge, you are either cursed by touch or cursed by sight. Seeing your eyes clearly, I’ll go with the former over the latter.”
“Correct.” It was convenient she seemed to know so much already. “That’s an amazing gift.”
“It didn’t start as such. There were years of hate and anger, and then finally practice. Understanding didn’t come until well after that.” Lela waved off her words. “Have you had any moments of control? What happened during your biggest flare-ups?” She got right down to business.
“I’ve been told it’s emotion based, and I have seen that it does kill faster when my emotions are higher but not by a large amount.” I supplied. Dead was dead. Seconds didn’t do much to change that. “There may have been a moment of control, but I think it was really all just luck.”
“Nonsense. Any moment of control, luck or not, is still a moment you can draw knowledge from. Use every second of it to your advantage. Running is easy. Blaming yourself for every loss of life is even easier. The demons inside of you will love to see you take the easy route. They hunger for you to give up so that they can consume you, but you’re strong. I can help you understand this, but it will do no good if you are starting at your best. I want you to think of your moment of luck as you call it, and be ready to describe it in as much detail as possible come sunrise. Do not rest until after we’ve spoken again.”
I blinked in surprise. “I don’t understand. Why the lack of rest?”
“When you're well-rested you are more composed, more in control of your thoughts and feelings. You can’t break into yourself when you’re guarded. When you’re wide awake and well rested you can defend against your demons, explain your actions. Fire does well with c
are, but we can really see how it lives when it’s threatened. Then we can find answers.”
“That is the most detailed yet cryptic advice I’ve ever gotten,” The advice had a ring of promise to it. Maybe this was a good start.
“It makes sense when you think about it, and you will have plenty of time to do so.” Lela dismissed us.
As we walked away I had to laugh. “I wish the people I met at the Order had been this helpful.”
“Maybe they were and you just weren’t ready to listen,” Lee pointed out most unhelpfully as we walked.
“Good thing you weren’t there to see, so we’ll go with my version.” There was no way to prove otherwise after all.
“Your version seems a little dramatic,” Lee argued.
I glared at him. “This is why I don’t ask for your opinion.” I looked away from him, annoyed. I didn’t want to think about the fact that he may be right about me being dramatic.
“I’m sorry, your view of the world is exactly how the world is and nothing can possibly be different,” he replied sarcastically.
“This is going to be a very long day,” This no rest thing did not sound like a good idea.
“Nah, it’ll be fine. You’ve got me!” Lee smiled, unabashed.
“Goody.” My fire couldn’t kill him, but a knife would wipe the smile off his face. The thought amused me and I smiled.
“I’m growing on you,” he said in reply to my smile. “And in a good way!”
“Whatever delusion makes you happy.” I rolled my eyes at him, letting the sarcasm ooze from my voice, but he wasn’t wrong.
“I like the one where we become the best of friends and we get to go on awesome adventures together. There will be no end to the shenanigans,” Lee replied gleefully.
“Are you ever not happy?” I sighed, wishing for a clear moment to think about what Lela had said.
“Well, the other day I got really pissed off and upset that you had set off without a good plan and decided to make sure you’d be okay and look into the future. Yeah, a new friend not making it another twenty-four hours is pretty upsetting.”
