by Gigi Thomas
Tasha took a deep breath. Her body was shaking, but Kenya didn’t know if it was from anger or from the cold she must be feeling in her wet garb. She kept tugging at the material, her discomfort evident.
“You know what. I’m just going to get changed and take a minute to regroup. And, I’m just going to pray that the camera is fine. I took some really good pictures today too,” Tasha ended with a pout, causing Kenya to chuckle at her in turn.
Tasha didn’t want her company, deciding instead that she needed a few moments alone. Kenya guessed why her cousin wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Being in that position must’ve brought back old memories that Kenya knew her cousin tried hard to forget.
Tasha assured her she could find her way to the room Lady Mildred had assigned to her and insisted Kenya return to the party instead. She didn’t want Kenya to miss Caydee’s big day on account of her. Respecting her wishes, Kenya didn’t press the issue, but she stood outside the house for a while just in case Tasha needed help navigating the castle’s labyrinthine halls after all. She leaned back on the cool concrete of the entranceway, and closed her eyes.
“All right?”
“Huh?” Kenya’s eyes snapped open to see Caden directly before her. “What are you doing here?”
“I just came to check on Tash. Is she okay? She seemed really upset.”
“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Thanks.”
“Look, I asked Broc to go up there and apologize. Big time. The last thing I want is for both of our favorite cousins to hate each other,” Caden said. “And, I want to make sure Tash knows that we’re not complete asses...at least not on purpose.”
Kenya wanted to say something to Caden about intruding in her life again, but a big fat apology from Broc might just be the salve needed to heal Tasha’s bruised confidence. The fact that Caden so quickly handled the situation and spirited everyone away was really considerate too, but Kenya didn’t like the idea of owing him. What she really didn’t like was getting comfortable with him being there.
The last thing Kenya needed was to begin thinking that Caden would be there for her or her daughter or her family. The last thing she wanted was to think that she could depend on him. It didn’t matter anyway, Kenya reminded herself, because she was leaving once the assignment was over. One month down, five to go. She wanted to say so many things to Caden about how little she needed him. Instead, she leaned forward and rested her head against his chest.
“And, I thought the worst I would have to worry about today was Caydee not fitting in…or your antics. Tash—”
"Don’t worry," Caden said, wrapping his arms around her. “I know Broc will do everything he can to make her feel better.”
Kenya just took a sigh of relief. It was great that Caden didn't ask her to go through it all or explain why Tasha was so upset. He didn’t even appear to want credit for his machinations with Broc. All he did was pull her closer and kiss her forehead.
Kenya closed her eyes and sighed. It was nice to feel like someone had her back again. It felt nice to have Caden’s muscular arms tightening around her and breathe in his crisp scent. Somehow, it felt as though things were the way they were supposed to be. That didn’t matter, Kenya reminded herself, because it is not the way things are. This was just temporary. She took another deep breath of him before ripping herself out of his embrace, and they returned to the party.
It was over half an hour before Broc emerged from the house, so Kenya knew Tasha must’ve made him work hard for it. His shirt, damp and un-tucked, hung carelessly from his tall brawny frame, and his leonine mane was now loose with strands clinging to his neck. He probably got wet because of Tasha falling into the water as well, Kenya thought to herself. She didn’t understand why Broc couldn’t just take the opportunity to change while he was inside. He’d been in there long enough.
When Tasha appeared about another half-hour later, the pair seemed to be giving each other a wide berth. It was a difficult task as the Hargrove children, who seemed to have the most fun with Uncle Broc and Aunt Tee, demanded their presence. Broc kept taking furtive glances at her, but Tasha never looked at him once. Maybe she hadn’t quite forgiven him after all, Kenya thought. At least, they didn’t look like they wanted to kill each other anymore.
Who knew at the beginning of this day that the adults would turn out to be more trouble than the kids?—Kenya thought, exhausted.
~
Caden smiled as he watched Kenya approaching in her plum colored silk tank top and shorts, which revealed her shapely legs. She looked regal, he thought. Her head was wrapped in a purple satin scarf, with the hair at the crown exposed, in what she called a pineapple. The look emphasized her flawless dark skin, high cheekbones, and cute little ears. He'd taken over getting Cadence ready for bed, allowing Kenya to relax by taking a bath. After all the party pandemonium and the craziness with Tasha and Broc, Caden thought she could use the opportunity to have some time alone.
He stood in the sitting room of Kenya’s suite in Hargrove Castle. Caden had made sure Kenya and Caydee were assigned to one of the largest suites, so there would be enough space between them. He knew they would need the space for all of Caydee’s birthday presents, if nothing else. He’d gotten Caydee in her pajamas and ready for bed, but the bedtime story he was supposed to be reading her sat open and abandoned on the sofa. Caydee was too animated to sleep after her exciting day. She was enjoying a colossal sugar high, and their wild playing in the sitting room attested to that.
Laughing, Caydee jumped off the arm of the sofa into Caden’s arms. When he caught her, Caden spun her around and threw her over his shoulder. She screamed, clinging to the front of his shirt, as he held her upside down this time spinning himself.
"Hey! Your tummy has an awie," Cadence observed, taking him by surprise.
"It's nothing sweetie," he said, tugging his shirt down and quickly placing her on her feet.
"What happened?" Cadence asked, lifting his shirt, and revealing his stomach, to get a better look. This was obviously a story she wanted to hear, and she stood looking up at him expectantly. Caden could see that Kenya was curious as well.
“Is it like grandpa’s?” Cadence asked. “Did you get hurt when you went away to protect us?”
"What do you mean?" Caden asked, forgetting that he was supposed to be the one telling the story. He realized he had never really knew what Cadence heard about him or what happened before their meeting in London.
"Mommy say that you was gone away protecting us. Is that how you got hurt?" Caydee asked.
"Y-Yes," Caden answered, still stunned.
He just looked at Kenya with a grateful smile, silently thanking her for preserving him in his daughter’s eyes. Though he was angry when he’d first learned what Kenya told her, Caden realized it was better than his daughter thinking that her father left because he didn’t care about her or her mother. He picked up Cadence by the waist, reassuringly holding her on his hip.
"Yes, I was protecting you and mommy, but I’m back now." It was true, Caden thought.
"I wish you could stay with us always. I love you," Cadence said wrapping her arms around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to go away again, daddy."
Caden’s breath seemed to leave him at once. Daddy?! His eyes glazed as he held his little girl in his arms. It was the first time Cadence had called him daddy. Hearing the word from her made Caden’s heart heavy. His voice was thick when he finally spoke, and Caden said the one thing he knew he shouldn’t.
"Don't worry, sweetie. Daddy’s not going anywhere." He kissed her forehead and held her tighter. "I promise."
It was things like this that made Caden feel alive again. Perhaps, that was why he spent so much time at Kenya's. Being with Cadence and being with Kenya again, made him feel like his old self. No, it made him feel like a better version of himself. With them, he found pieces of himself that he thought were gone forever. He found pieces that he didn’t even know existed. He’d been so numb
for so long, he had forgotten what it was like to feel. Still, Caden knew he shouldn’t be making promises he couldn’t keep.
"Come on Caydee, time for bed," Kenya said.
"Can daddy sleep with us?" Cadence asked.
"No, sweetie. da—Cay—he has his own room," Kenya sputtered.
Caden’s elation at being called daddy was now tempered by the reality of their situation. He could see how Kenya struggled with the fact that Cadence called him daddy. It was his own fault, Caden knew. Cadence should’ve been calling him daddy ever since she first learned to talk. It was sad to think of how much of her life he missed: her first words, her first steps, pushing her in a pram, hell even changing her dirty nappies. Caden would give anything to have those precious moments that he lost.
Times like this, when he had to go and spend the night elsewhere, made Caden painfully aware of how separate their lives still were. Caden didn’t want to be a visitor in his daughter’s life. He didn’t want to be a temporary father. Unfortunately, he had no choice. He had created this situation, so right now he was willing to take whatever he could get.
Caydee, on the other hand, was not nearly as understanding.
"But, I want daddy to stay," she pleaded to her mother.
“Well, I’m sorry, but he has to sleep in his room.” Kenya reached out to take her from Caden, but Caydee refused to let go.
“No!” she cried, clinging to his neck and locking her legs around his waist. "Daddy, please! I don't want you to go."
"It's okay, sweetie. I’ll stay," he said, without thinking of anything but the fact that he just couldn't stand that sad look in her eyes. Caydee was about to cry, and Caden could not allow that. And, she called him daddy again. What else could he do? Caden was probably as reluctant to part with Caydee tonight as she was with him. After accepting, however, he realized that this situation was less than ideal for Kenya.
"I'm sorry," Caden began. He and Kenya both lay in bed with Cadence to tuck her in. "I know this is uncomfortable."
"It's fine." Kenya answered, but by the terseness in her voice Caden knew it was anything but fine. They both lay, stiff as a corpses, with their daughter between them.
"Don't worry." Caden leaned closer to Kenya, so Caydee wouldn't hear. He whispered in her ear, "I'll leave as soon as she falls asleep."
Kenya didn’t respond, and for reasons unfathomable to Caden she looked even more uncomfortable. He thought Kenya would be relieved to hear that he planned on leaving as soon as Cadence had her sugar crash. It would not take long for her to fall asleep, after the day she had, and Caden was sure she was running on borrowed energy. It would only take a few minutes after getting her into bed.
To Caden’s surprise, Caydee remained wide awake and reeling from her stimulating day. Three stories and two bribes later, Caydee finally fell asleep. And, so did an exhausted Kenya and Caden.
~
Caden awoke feeling the warming rays of the morning sun enveloping the room. There was a pain in his back, a crick in his neck, and his right arm was completely numb. He felt great! If he remembered the feeling correctly, he felt...happy. The scent of cocoa butter and some sort of spice cajoled its way to his nose, the familiarity of it causing him to smile. Kenya lay beside him, her body turned towards his, her head on his right shoulder, and her leg slung around his thigh. His arm held her at the waist.
He looked at Cadence, who was now sprawled out before him, lying on his torso. As if realizing she was being watched, Cadence picked up her head and, through her frizzy poof of curls, looked sleepily into his eyes. She smiled, apparently content that he was still there, before closing her eyes and dropping her head back onto his chest. Caden gently placed his hand on her back, protecting her, in case she should roll.
He returned his gaze to Kenya beside him. Part of her pineapple had been displaced, and some hair had fallen onto her face. Bringing forward the arm that held Kenya, Caden gently brushed the hair back from her brow. As he did that motion, Caden felt a sharp shooting pain, its tingles rippling through the numbness of his arm like millions of needles stabbing him, mercilessly. Closing his eyes, Caden smiled. It was the best he’d felt in years.
“Ahem!”
Caden blearily opened his eyes again. It felt like seconds had passed, but the sun was much brighter now, and the songs of morning birds had ceased. He could feel Kenya stirring within his arms, both of which were clutching her tightly. Kenya’s head lay on his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist. Their legs were intertwined, and his hand rested on her thigh. His thumb slowly stroked her soft skin. It took him a few moments to realize it, and as he looked into Kenya’s eyes, he saw the realization coming to her as well.
Cadence was no longer in bed with them. She stood with Tasha and Charlotte, both aunts looking down at them with raised eyebrows as the pair lay still entangled in each other. Still! He and Kenya scrambled to rise, both unable to make eye contact like two children who’d been caught being naughty.
"So...do you want to tell me what that was?" Tasha asked, less than an hour later, sitting in the room she had for the weekend.
"It was nothing," Kenya mumbled. She sat on the bed where her cousin slept. The bed looked immaculate with not a pillow out of place, and Kenya was amazed at how Tasha could make her bed look so neat. It was as if it hadn’t been slept in. Kenya guiltily traced her fingers over the gold brocade pattern of the blue bedspread. She didn’t know why she should feel guilty. She’d done nothing wrong. Right?
"That was not nothing, cuz." Tasha sat at the desk, her laptop open. She was reviewing the pictures she took from the party, pausing periodically to take notes. "I do not know what that was; but it was definitely not nothing."
"Tash, we fell asleep, okay. That's all." Kenya explained. "He was just going to stay until Caydee fell asleep, and I guess we both did."
"And what about Caydee?"
"What do you mean? She loves Caden."
"Yes, I know," Tasha said eying her cousin. "Have you thought that perhaps she’s getting too close to him? Or that you’re becoming too close to him?"
"He's her father. She’s supposed to be close to him." Kenya decided to ignore the latter question. The window was open and Kenya could hear the people outside below; Broc’s deep Scottish brogue was carrying in the air.
"Yes, well maybe you are playing family a little too much." Tasha got up and slammed the window shut. She picked up her camera, and sat down to face Kenya. "I mean, he’s spending the night. You’re sleeping together.”
“We’re not sleeping together! I mean we did, but we...you know what I mean. Besides, weren’t you the one who said I should give Caden a chance to be her dad in the first place?”
“I’m just saying guys like Caden, like his cousin Broc, they’re used to having their own way and getting what they want. They feel like they’re entitled. I remember how devastated you were when he left, and as far as I know he still hasn’t explained why. I don’t want you to get charmed by him again, especially when you know that you and Caydee are going back home in a few months.”
“Why are you being so negative all of a sudden? And what does any of this have to do with Broc?”
“What? Nothing! It was just an example. I’m just saying that Broc seems like he’s probably one of those guys who...who just feels like he can have whoever and whatever he wants, you know? You know what?—this is not about Broc. I don’t know why we’re even talking about him,” Tasha said, the words tumbling out of her mouth faster and faster. She took a deep breath before she continued. “It doesn’t matter. Do you want to know what Caydee asked me morning? She asked when daddy was coming to live with us."
Kenya's jaw dropped. Any questions she had about her cousin’s diatribe were instantly forgotten. "Caydee said that?"
“I’m just saying...” Tasha began, staring at one of the pictures on her camera. She had been staring at it for a while, and as Kenya observed her, she quickly straightened herself, shaking her head back to the present. She tu
rned off the camera and placed it on the desk before looking up to meet her cousin’s gaze.
“You know what, never mind. I just had a weird day, and I’m probably taking it out on you. Just...just be careful this time, cuz.”
"I'm glad you two are back together." Charlotte said as she and Kenya sat on the terrace.
"We're not together," Kenya denied, too quickly. The whole morning had been a series of uncomfortable silences and furtive glances.
"Fine. Well, I'm glad that he has you, then," she said in a tone, implying much more. Charlotte looked at her brother warmly. There was a longing behind her eyes and a sadness that Kenya couldn’t quite understand. "I know you guys spend a lot of time together."
"It's because of Caydee." Kenya watched Caden thoughtfully. He was on his knees, as the children attacked him. He soon allowed himself to be overpowered, and he fell backward on the grass, laughing as they piled on top of him. “He enjoys spending time with her. And she does with him.”
"I don't think it's just that." Charlotte said her eyes darting from Kenya to Caden and back.
Kenya tried to give her an intimidating look—as it was supposed to be one of her specialties—but Charlotte was unfazed.
"For a while there, Caden was in a really dark place. I wasn’t sure he would ever truly get out of it.” Charlotte’s eyes were cloudy with concern. “But, ever since Caydee came into his life and you came back, I’ve seen him changing, getting back to his old self maybe. I think that after everything, you two of anyone deserve happiness. Shouldn't it be together?"
"Caden and I are just friends, Lottie." Kenya said, deciding Charlotte was thinking about that morning and reading too much into it. “Honestly, we're probably not even that. We are just Caydee’s parents.”
"Of course, you are" Charlotte agreed smiling. She had that presumed innocent expression that Caydee sometimes wears. "I was just saying," she paused. "Look, I don't think it is just Caydee that he enjoys spending time with."
Kenya knew better than to look at her counterpart as her tone conveyed more than enough. She knew what Charlotte and Tasha were implying, but they were wrong. It didn’t matter what they thought. There was nothing going on between her and Caden. That ship had sailed...and sunk a long time ago. And, that sensation that she had felt run through her body last night, when Caden leaned close to whisper to her and his lips brushed her ear, that meant nothing. Kenya shook her head to rid herself of the memory. The children were calling them, and they walked towards them. The tank top and shorts that she wore made her feel very self-conscious, even before she felt Caden’s gaze upon her.
