by Gigi Thomas
"Hey stranger," Caden said snapping her out of her thoughts. "The Clan Hargrove too much for you to handle?"
"I'm just observing," Kenya said, adjusting to give him room to sit in the small space.
Caden squeezed in beside her. Stretching his legs and crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back on the leaded glass window.
"The girl I knew was always the star of the show, not part of the audience."
"Yes, well, that girl is gone now," she said softly.
"Aww, don't say that. I love her." He leaned forward, looking deep into her eyes as if he was searching for something. "I'm sure she's still in there. She's probably just hiding."
"It feels...I don't know. Sometimes, I feel like I'm intruding," she admitted, trying her best to ignore the fact that Caden said, “love.” It was just a figure of speech, Kenya reminded herself.
"Don't be stupid Yaya," Caden said. "You're family."
"No, I'm not Caden," Kenya said firmly. "Caydee is family. And, I'm glad that she is part of the family. I wonder what will happen when we go back home?"
Caydee behaved as though she had been a Hargrove for years and not months. She stood with her hands on her hips and looked like she was in the middle of having a serious disagreement with her Uncle Shelton.
"What on earth did Shelton do to offend Caydee?" Kenya asked, deliberately steering the conversation away from her. She’d seen the sad expression flash across Caden’s face at the prospect of them leaving, and that gave her even more reason to want to change the subject.
Caden gave her a look, eyebrow raised, as if to acknowledge her pathetic attempt but then just conceded and gave her a smile.
"Actually, he offended Broc by saying that Nessie didn’t exist," Caden informed.
Uncle Broc had solidified his claim as one of the coolest uncles by bringing the children necklaces, each with an actual tooth from the creature, according to him.
Kenya and Caden looked over at the pair neither saying a word. Shelton looked as though he was fighting to hold back his smile, but he kept up the debate with mock solemnity. Broc and Charlotte were just egging on Caydee.
"That's the girl I remember." Caden leaned closer. Putting his arm on her shoulder, he pulled Kenya toward him and pointed at Caydee. "Not afraid of anyone, always thinking she was right."
"Always was right," she corrected, playfully pushing him away. Caden’s hands must've been cold because when he touched her neck, Kenya felt a shiver run down her spine. She actually stopped, stunned for a few seconds. Kenya felt uncomfortable being so close to him, and she could see the question inspired by her accidental dinner confession still lurking in Caden’s eyes.
"Kenya! What are you doing so far away from the rest of the family?" Charlotte joined them, the new baby in her arms. Henry was trailing behind making an earnest plea.
"Caden you cannot monopolize her all night. Run along little brother," Charlotte ordered. She turned her attention to her son. "Fine, Henry you can have one more piece of cake. Now, go with Uncle Caden. I need to talk to Auntie Kenya about something very important."
“Come on, chap,” Caden said, throwing his nephew over his shoulder. Caden raised his eyebrow, this time giving Kenya an I-told-you-so look, before he departed.
Charlotte sat beside her, and Kenya leaned over to look at the baby. “Oh, Lottie, he’s precious.”
“Would you like to hold him?” Charlotte asked, and began placing the baby in Kenya’s arms before she could respond.
“Hello,” Kenya cooed. “It feels like I was holding Caydee like this just the other day.”
“It happens so fast doesn’t it?
"Too fast," Kenya said, as they both looked down at the infant.
"Actually, Kenya I wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
"Will you be his godmother?" Charlotte said, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
"Say what now?" Kenya said almost choking.
"I want you to be one of his godmothers," Charlotte repeated.
"Um, what? Me? Why?" Kenya did not mean to sound as rude as she was sure she did, but, how could Charlotte ask her to be a godmother? She was not expecting that.
"Because, I think you would be an excellent choice. Besides, you have to say yes. You are family."
"No, I'm not, Lottie!" Kenya said louder and harsher than she meant to, and she had to rock the baby calm after upsetting him with her outburst. She looked up to Caden’s sister to see if she was offended.
Charlotte just placed her hand on Kenya’s shoulder. She looked at her with determination in her eyes. She resembled Caydee so much there. "Look, Kenya, if everything had gone differently you would probably be my sister-in-law by now right?—so you would be family. You are my niece’s mum. What difference does it make? As far as I am, as far as everybody is concerned, you are family.”
Charlotte’s assessment of being her sister-in-law and being family if things were different was not lost on Kenya. The fact is things did not go differently. They were not living in this alternate present that Charlotte suggested. She wasn’t really, Auntie Kenya. But, by the look in Charlotte’s eyes, Kenya knew she didn’t want to disappoint her. She supposed she should feel honored, but it just made her feel more conflicted. Finally, Kenya agreed, deciding to focus the fact that Lottie and Shelton thought that highly of her and ignore the rest.
~
Caden and Kenya stood on the balcony of her sitting room, quietly looking out into the night. The moon’s reflection in the moat danced in the distance, and a light snow had begun to fall. Caydee was finally asleep, and the pair just watched the scenery in silence. Kenya moved closer, and Caden wrapped his arms around her with a sigh. The whole day had been physically and emotionally exhausting.
This year felt different though, at least for Caden. It was the first time in five years that he hadn't been loathed to endure other people's company. It was the first time he didn't spend the day lamenting his fate or wondering what might have been. For the first time he saw a light where before he only saw the tunnel. Caden knew it was the result of having Caydee in his life and Kenya back in it.
Caydee was easily the happiest influence in his life, and Kenya was still his best friend. She was the only person who ever really saw him. She was the only woman he’d ever loved. And, all he’d done for the past five years is run away from her. All he was doing, even now, was lying to her. He knew it was better if they were apart, but with Kenya’s body in his embrace, Caden couldn’t quite remember why that was. All Caden wanted to do was hold her tighter and never let go.
Feeling her shift in his arms, "Are you cold?" he asked, his fingers stroking the small of her back.
She shook her head, refusing to meet his gaze. "Not anymore," she whispered.
Wrapping a finger around Kenya’s hair, Caden gently stroked the soft strands, which she wore in her natural curls again. Kenya had looked stunning tonight, but she looked even more beautiful now in the glow of the moonlight. Caden knew he shouldn't be thinking like this. This was not a part of the plan, but when she looked up at him, there was keenness in Kenya’s obsidian eyes that Caden hadn’t counted on. She quickly, nervously looked away. He imagined that, didn’t he?
"I..." Caden swallowed hard. “I should go. Shouldn’t I?" he whispered, though one hand clutched her dress at the small of her back, and he slowly brought his other hand to her face.
Kenya didn't speak. She just looked up, and dark tempestuous eyes locked with his. Her back arched, as she began leaning into his body, and her hands clung to the lapel of his tuxedo. Kenya wasn’t drunk this time. She didn’t have anything to prove. Caden tenderly caressed her cheek with his thumb before lightly tracing the outline of her lips. They stood in purgatory, their eyes searching each other’s. Mouths parted in anticipation, breaths mingling with each other's, both were afraid to make the next move.
Kenya lowered her gaze, and Caden felt her waist clench as if to step away. As Kenya prepared to m
ove, he could almost hear the crack as the moment began to break. It was less than an inch of motion, but Caden could feel the agony. His heart lurched, in his chest, for her. Just one, he decided, cradling her face in his hand. One kiss. Just one last kiss. That’s all. He pulled Kenya back that cavernous inch and brought his mouth to hers.
The kiss was slow and deep and instantly passionate. Amid exploring tongues, his fingers getting lost in her hair, and her arms wrapping tightly around his neck, somehow, Kenya was lifted off her feet and taken through to her bedroom.
Quickly locking the door behind them, Caden removed his jacket, dropping it on the floor. Kissing her neck, he moved them toward the bed, and he began unzipping her dress.
“Sit down,” Kenya ordered.
Caden obeyed.
Slowly she removed her dress, first revealing her shoulders, then her bra, then her stomach. Kenya wiggled the snug fabric over her hips, and Caden let out a small groan from the back of his throat, hypnotized by the sight of her hips slowly swaying from side to side. His imagination did not do her body justice, and her smooth mahogany skin in the glow of the moonlight, made him quake with anticipation. She looked like a goddess.
She stepped out of the dress and, straddling him, sat on his lap. Kissing his neck, first on one side then the other, she began unbuttoning his shirt. Caden closed his eyes as her kisses moved to his throat and leaned his head back to give Kenya better access. His hands caressed her thighs and buttocks before moving up to explore the rest of her body.
Kenya removed his shirt, and Caden let it fall on the bed behind him. Pulling her closer, he brought their lips back together as he undid her bra. His hands slipped under the sheer fabric as he massaged her breasts. Tossing the bra aside, he brought his mouth to her, teasing her nipples with his tongue and nipping at them with his teeth. Kenya wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, bringing him closer to her.
He reveled at her sighs in his ear and her warmness rocking back and forth against his pulsing erection. Bringing his mouth back to hers, Caden’s hand moved from her breast, down her waist, and slipped between her thighs. She sighed again, as he brought his hand to her crotch, his fingers lightly rubbing her through the thin lace. He moved his mouth back to her breasts as his fingers found the wetness beneath her panties .
Caden teased and toyed with her; and, when he slipped a finger inside her, her soft moans grew louder. Kenya’s confession at dinner that she hadn’t been with anyone since they were together literally felt like it was true, and Caden remembered marveling at how tight she still was during their eventful ride home a few months ago. He hadn’t been with anyone else either, and Caden was more than happy to pick up where they left off. He helped Kenya remove her panties, and finding the condom that a teasing Broc had slipped in his pocket, Caden clumsily put it on.
“I’ve waited for this for so long,” he sighed.
Kissing her, he found her entrance, and Kenya gingerly guided her hips down onto him. Her back arched, and she let out a soft moan as he entered her. Caden took a sharp breath and hissed at the sensation of feeling her from the inside after so long. Kenya’s body began to move with him inside her, and he felt her warm passage gripping him like a vise.
“Bloody hell!” he groaned.
He was not prepared for this, Caden quickly realized. He should’ve taken his time with her before doing this. He could tell Kenya was being cautious as well, for while she moved up and down, she had not allowed herself to fully sit down on all of him. Caden wished he had been more cautious himself, because now that he was inside her, his body was overwhelmed by pleasure of it.
“Yaya...wait,” he whispered, his hands trying to slow her hips.
Kenya pushed him to lie back onto the bed. Caden closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths to control himself. The pleasure of being inside her was even more intense from this position, and his hips began to thrust against his will. He was losing control. The sound of Kenya’s moaning in his ear seemed to make things worse, and his hips were soon bucking between her legs at a frantic pace. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop himself, he realized too late.
“I can’t...I,” Caden struggled through ragged breaths. “Bugger!” He let out a long groan, his body stiffening as his pleasure erupted. Out of breath, he lay beneath her, eyes closed.
Fuck! This was bloody embarrassing. Caden didn’t want to open his eyes. All he wanted to do was disappear. He’d waited so long to finally be with Kenya again, and he knew this probably would be his only chance to be with her. Kenya may tolerate him, but he knew she hadn’t forgiven him. And his one chance to be with her again ends like this? He would never get another chance after this. How could he bloody well let this happen?
Caden could pretty well guess why it probably happened, but that only made his anger and frustration grow. He reluctantly opened his eyes, after he felt Kenya remove herself from him and the shock of cold air against his skin. Her breathing was labored as well. Though she had been enjoying herself, he knew she hadn’t climaxed. Caden vividly remembered what Kenya sounded like when she had an orgasm.
“I’m sorry. I haven’t done this since... either,” Caden admitted, unable to look Kenya in the eyes. “I guess I’m out of practice.” He sat on the side of the bed, removed the condom and threw it in the bin.
“It’s fine,” she answered. “Maybe, we should just go to sleep.”
Sleep? As if with Kenya naked before him, he could think of sleep!
“Or... we could just practice more,” Caden countered.
There was no way he was going to let her go to sleep like this. No. Kenya’s memory of their last time being together was not going be this failed experiment. This was an issue Caden had to resolve, even if it took all night. He just needed some time to regroup. In the meantime...
Grabbing her at the knees, Caden slid Kenya around and pulled her towards him.
CHAPTER TEN
Emotional Traffic Jam
“It’s fine.”
Kenya wanted to turn away, and Caden didn’t want to look at her. She could tell he was embarrassed by what had happened, but Kenya took it as a sign. They shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe, they’d had too much to drink—even though between the two of them, they probably had three glasses of champagne. They were probably just confused by everything.
The night, the whole day, was a snowball of confusion that kept growing as it rolled downhill. From the dormant sensation that erupted through her body, at Caden’s fingers lightly brushing her skin as he zipped her up that morning, to remembering her unconscious admission about her nonexistent dating life, how was a person supposed to think straight?
With all of these pieces crashing together to make such a messy avalanche of emotions, it was no wonder they were buried under it. Added to that, it was Christmas. Everyone was more emotional during the holidays, Kenya reminded herself. She believed that.
What Kenya didn’t want to believe was Caden’s assertion that he was out of practice. Was she supposed to believe that he’d been pretty much celibate since the last time they were together? Could Caden go five years without having sex? Even if that was true, Kenya wasn’t narcissistic or naïve enough to entertain that his abstinence would have anything to do with her. And, as insatiable as he was when they were together and the marathon sex they often had, Kenya couldn’t imagine a scenario where an unattached Caden was not banging everything that moved.
Kenya knew she wasn’t being fair to Caden with that assessment. Caden was a lot of things, but he was never a slut. He wasn’t exactly a monk during his undergrad, he’d admitted. Yet, other than a couple of girls from the beginning of their first semester, before they ever met each other, Kenya never heard about Caden with other girls. She tried to hook him up with other girls several times herself, much to his annoyance. Eventually, he got really mad at her for that and let her have it one day.
Kenya had never seen Caden that mad: not when playing Rugby or even when arguing at the TV while watching
his European or Premiere League Football games, and especially not at her. He also took that opportunity to suggest that deep down Kenya was trying to get him to date someone else in an attempt to protect herself from her own feelings. Even if they never dated, Caden argued, he couldn’t just suddenly become interested in someone else—or pretend to be—any more than she could. Not wanting to pick up that gauntlet, Kenya let the subject lie.
Though there were a lot of girls on campus who were interested in Caden, it was like he never saw them. He looked at Kenya as if she was the only person in the room. In the world. She always remembered that. At first, Kenya thought Caden’s dedication was just a show for her benefit. It would wear off. He would give up and move on once he saw she wasn’t giving in. After all, Caden knew he was a very popular catch. With his pouty lips, tall muscular body, and pantie-wetting accent, he had his pick of girls.
Weeks and months passed, and Kenya would overhear other girls complain about him rebuffing their advances. People who didn’t know her name would sometimes refer to her as “Caden’s girl,” which she always corrected and he never did. Caden’s Rugby and rowing friends even began to seek her out when they were looking for him or ask her to pass on messages when they ran into her, because they figured she’d see or talk to him before they would. Hell, even their professors did that. All this was before they’d even been on one date!
Caden’s inability to control himself tonight, for a person whose stamina Kenya remembered all too clearly, was telling. Perhaps, it really had been five years. Or perhaps it was just the universe telling her, telling them, that they should not be doing this! The last time they were together it didn’t go well, did it? It seemed to be going great, but the fact that he could just up and leave without a word proved otherwise. This whole memory lane trip was pointless, and Kenya protectively crossed her arms over her breasts. She needed to change. Take a shower. Something to get out of that room with him.
