(THE MORTALLY ILL appear suitably condign.
DOOBEE seems thoughtful, then swiftly, resolved.)
Too bad / too bad /
OSTEND: (Kindly.) Shh /
DOOBEE: Vastly better my solitude remains inviolable / vastly better /
OSTEND: Shh /
DOOBEE: The shuttered windows / the bolted doors /
OSTEND: (Faintly irritated.) Doobee /
DOOBEE: Why should I want you crashing through my silence / dislodging the mirrors / vomiting on the floors? /
OSTEND: DOOBEE /
(DOOBEE is hurt by the severity of OSTEND’s
command. He looks at her, his mouth turned down.)
DOOBEE: It’s a mansion /
OSTEND: Yes /
DOOBEE: Solitude /
OSTEND: Yes /
DOOBEE: A mansion /
(THE MORTALLY ILL shift uncomfortably. DOOBEE
squirms. Suddenly he goes to move.)
I’ll fetch the bags /
(He stops. he seems to consider the virtue of speaking.
He inclines to it. He looks at the prostrate form of
ARCHITECT.)
It’s perfectly true your mother’s hands are less than perfect / but in your determination to humiliate her by describing them as claws / I have to tell you / you fail utterly to understand the paradoxical character of all revelation /
ARCHITECT: (Drily.) Do I? /
DOOBEE: Yes / and this paradox is nowhere more subtly described than in the tide of tension that ebbs and flows between the hands of a beautiful woman and her gloves /
ARCHITECT: Is that so? /
DOOBEE: It is so / yes / a beautiful woman dares her audience / and she is never without an audience even when she is alone / dares it to assume the absolute character of her perfection / a perfection we both know and dread is logically and empirically impossible / even so / something lingers / something inextinguishable / of dream or hope / causing us / as she / with that slow and practised gesture / draws off her glove / to /
(DOOBEE swallows with difficulty.)
to /
(He aches. He sobs. OSTEND goes to him without
haste and taking his head between her hands, kisses
him profoundly. THE MORTALLY ILL stare. The
animals fidget. The kiss ends at last.)
OSTEND: Get the bags now /
(DOOBEE obeys, his eyes fixed to the floor, but after
a few paces, stops.)
DOOBEE: They don’t understand /
OSTEND: No /
DOOBEE: (Shaking his head.) No one ever / ever / understands /
(He lifts his eyes to OSTEND. He goes out, only to
swiftly return.)
THE LESS-THAN-PERFECT HAND / AT THE MOMENT OF ITS REVELATION /
(The spectacle of DOOBEE now provokes a ripple
of half-suppressed laughter in THE MORTALLY ILL.
Their animals bark or whimper.)
/ FAR FROM DIMINISHING THE BEAUTY OF THE WOMAN / TESTIFIES TO HER / HER /
(THE MORTALLY ILL are now infected with
derision.)
PORTSLADE: (To SLUMP.) All right / darling /
WINDUS: All right / all right /
(They shudder.)
DOOBEE: TESTIFIES / YES / TESTIFIES /
LOOS: (To THE MORTALLY ILL.) All right /
CLING: (Collapsing.) Oh no /
LOOS: Steady /
CLING: Sorry / sorry /
(CHILDLIKE, choking on laughter, turns to hang out
the window.)
DOOBEE: TO AN EXQUISITE FRAILTY / DOES IT NOT? /
(As THE MORTALLY ILL tremble and rock, forcing their
hands into their mouths, DOOBEE stands at bay.)
DOES IT NOT? /
(His defiance at last subdues THE MORTALLY ILL.
OSTEND watches without intervening as they
discover the shame of the infants’ class. In the restored
silence, the motor of the mobile bed produces its
characteristic sound. In a gesture of disdain,
ARCHITECT is drawn from the room.)
20
CHILDLIKE: (Turning on the ladder.) Neglect it’s /
MOMPER: Shh /
CHILDLIKE: Everywhere /
MOMPER: Shh /
CHILDLIKE: Everywhere / neglect /
ALDRINGTON: Us /
LOOS: Especially /
MOMPER: Shh /
LOOS: Especially us /
CLING: Ulcers /
LOOS: Scabies /
CLING: Scabies and ulcers /
LOOS: Show them / show them your legs /
SLUMP: Horrible legs /
PORTSLADE: As for the facilities /
LOOS: (As CLING reveals her wounds.) I can’t look /
ATTO: (Turning away.) Oh God /
LOOS: I can’t look /
PORTSLADE: The bathroom /
(DOOBEE, nauseated, departs to fetch the bags.)
LOOS: Can I / darling? / I can’t look /
PORTSLADE: Is sordid /
SLUMP: She’s infected /
PORTSLADE: Verminous /
SLUMP: Isn’t she / infected again? /
PORTSLADE: And a hotbed of disease /
BASIN: Then there’s the rash /
LOOS: The rash /
ATTO: Show her the rash /
BASIN: Everybody has the rash /
WINDUS: Not me /
ATTO: Show her / show her /
WINDUS: For some reason /
BASIN: (Pulling aside his shirt.) Chest /
WINDUS: Not me /
BASIN: And back /
ALDRINGTON: Behind the knees / in my case /
PORTSLADE: As for the bed linen /
LOOS: Show her /
PORTSLADE: The bed linen is stiff /
MOMPER: Oh God / darling /
PORTSLADE: Stiff /
MOMPER: It’s weeping
PORTSLADE: Stiff /
ALDRINGTON: And beneath the arms /
MOMPER: It’s weeping / darling /
ALDRINGTON: Under the arms / behind the knees /
PORTSLADE: As for the lavatory /
MOMPER: (Grimacing.) That’s bad / Michael / that is very / very / bad / darling /
PORTSLADE: The one and only /
LOOS: God / oh God /
PORTSLADE: Functioning lavatory /
ATTO: Show her / she can’t see /
(As THE MORTALLY ILL present their symptoms to
OSTEND, CHILDLIKE begins to shudder with laughter.)
PORTSLADE: This single lavatory is situated /
WINDUS: Undo the bandage /
PORTSLADE: On the fourth floor /
WINDUS: Let her see /
PORTSLADE: Not the second / or the third /
BASIN: (Squirming.) Don’t touch /
ATTO: Darling / she can’t see /
PORTSLADE: THE FOURTH /
(The animals are squirming and yelping.)
MOMPER: It’s stuck / the bandage / it’s all stuck /
LOOS: I’m not looking /
SLUMP: Help him / somebody /
PORTSLADE: THE FOURTH FLOOR /
21
CHILDLIKE: (Nimbly descending the ladder.) Neglect is not decay /
(It addresses OSTEND.)
Did you say that? /
OSTEND: I said that / yes /
CHILDLIKE: They are not synonymous / certainly / and yet there could be no decay / could there / without neglect? /
(OSTEND gazes on CHILDLIKE with disdain.)
Please argue / argument is ecstasy / no one argues here / not surprisingly / the dying are not dialectical / if they were ever curious / they are curious no longer /
(He experiences a spasm.)
OFF-WHITE UPHOLSTERY /
(OSTEND regards CHILDLIKE with a certain
sympathy.)
Please argue / however brief the argument / argue with me /
(OSTEND is measured.)
OSTEND:
Look at me /
CHILDLIKE: Yes /
OSTEND: Are you looking at me? /
CHILDLIKE: Yes /
OSTEND: No / scrutinize / scrutinize me /
(CHILDLIKE concentrates.)
Do I look neglected? /
CHILDLIKE: No / I would not say so /
OSTEND: Rather the contrary /
CHILDLIKE: The contrary / yes /
OSTEND: Then you know /
(CHILDLIKE is puzzled.)
CHILDLIKE: Do I? /
OSTEND: And argument / in this / as in so many instances / is redundant /
CHILDLIKE: I don’t follow / what is it I know? /
(DOOBEE appears, holding baggage from the car.)
Say / please say /
OSTEND: The First Law of Existence is decay /
(CHILDLIKE studies OSTEND in a manner
simultaneously mischievous and diffident.)
CHILDLIKE: The law becomes you /
(OSTEND regards CHILDLIKE for a moment, then
strides from the room.)
22
DOOBEE watches but does not follow OSTEND. Her footfalls fade. Sensing he is the focus of their collective regard, DOOBEE turns to THE MORTALLY ILL.
DOOBEE: I’m afraid /
(They pity him. Their animals fidget.)
Always / always afraid /
(He ponders, then rants.)
NOT OF THE WOMAN / NOT OF THE WOMAN / YOU THINK I’M AFRAID OF THE WOMAN /
(He tosses his head with contempt.)
It’s not the woman / it’s not the woman makes me afraid /
(He fathoms. He frowns.)
It’s in the room now / the thing that makes me afraid /
(He creates a thin smile.)
She’s the same / she’s equally afraid / oh yes / for all her /
(He pulls a face.)
Call it what you like / her /
(He shakes his head.)
Supreme /
(He bites his lip.)
EQUALLY AFRAID /
(He resolves.)
I’d better go / she’s on her own / it isn’t fair / some damp room / cracked mirrors / squalid bed / and it’s already there / it went in with her / like a dog / it runs ahead / then turns to look at you / sometimes we hardly dare /
(He is agonized.)
Touch /
(THE MORTALLY ILL suffer with DOOBEE. He makes
to go again.)
I WISH I COULD SAY IT SIMPLY /
(They seem to sway as tree tops in a wind. DOOBEE
seems fixed.)
CHILDLIKE: And then the door fell open /
(DOOBEE looks at CHILDLIKE.)
Why? /
(DOOBEE’s mouth moves silently. He hoists the
baggage and marches in the direction taken by
OSTEND. THE MORTALLY ILL, unsupervized, relapse
into cascades of laughter.)
23
ATTO: Oh God /
WINDUS: Fuck / fuck /
CLING: Jesus /
SLUMP: Oh God /
(They choke and splutter, the dogs bark, the rabbits
fidget.)
24
LOOS: Joyless and beautiful /
ALDRINGTON: Oh God /
MOMPER: Joyless /
BASIN: Her stripped /
(He chokes on the words.)
CLING: Jesus /
SLUMP: Oh God / oh God /
BASIN: Her stripped /
LOOS: Joyless /
BASIN: IMMENSITY /
(Each proposition intensifies the laughter.)
MOMPER: Joyless / I said /
(They heave and howl, rendering the faint whine of
the mobile bed inaudible. Consequently ARCHITECT
has arrived and is stationary even as they rock and
squeal. Slowly, they become aware of her presence.
They fall silent. They are both embarrassed and
afraid.)
25
ARCHITECT: They went up /
(A dog mews.)
Did they? /
(THE MORTALLY ILL are stiff with apprehension.)
To the room? /
(Their reluctance makes her vehement.)
THE DESIGNATED ROOM? /
PORTSLADE: We think so / yes /
ARCHITECT: THE ROOM WHICH / AS A CONSEQUENCE OF BEING DESIGNATED THEIRS / BECOMES THEIR ROOM? /
PORTSLADE: Yes /
ARCHITECT: (For her own pleasure.) THEY WENT UP TO THEIR ROOM /
(She meditates. They tremble.)
Six words I think / yes / six / six words / all single syllables / say them now / the six words /
(THE MORTALLY ILL, accustomed to her methods,
satisfy ARCHITECT.)
Good /
(She frowns.)
Good / considering how tired you are / standing when you would much prefer / I know / to be lying on your beds / but these words are / oh / so / so /
(She marvels. She seizes on an idea.)
AND SHE PRECEDED HIM /
(She bites her lip.)
DID SHE? / DID SHE? / DID SHE GO FIRST? /
CHILDLIKE: Yes /
ARCHITECT: UP / UP / UP TO THEIR ROOM /
CHILDLIKE: Yes /
ARCHITECT: UP TO THEIR ROOM / AND SHE WENT FIRST /
ATTO: He carried the cases /
ARCHITECT: He carried the cases / yes /
CHILDLIKE: (Serving ARCHITECT.) AND SHE WENT FIRST /
ARCHITECT: (Simultaneously ravished and tortured.) Describe it /
CHILDLIKE: Describe it? /
ARCHITECT: DESCRIBE IT / YES / THE ASCENT OF THE STAIRS /
(The animals whimper.)
I know you’re tired / I know how tired you are /
(Her face is shaped by despair.)
DESCRIBE THE WOMAN ON THE STAIRS / THE EFFECT OF THE STAIRS ON THE WOMAN /
(THE MORTALLY ILL look to CHILDLIKE to satisfy
ARCHITECT.)
26
CHILDLIKE: The common form of the erotic consists in some oscillation of the hips /
ARCHITECT: Why common? /
CHILDLIKE: Lifting / tilting / gyrating the hips /
ARCHITECT: What’s common about it? /
CHILDLIKE: (Only briefly distracted.) As if inviting copulation /
(THE MORTALLY ILL suffocate their giggles.)
Yet simultaneously withholding it /
ARCHITECT: What renders an action common / or uncommon / is the discernment that is brought to it / surely? /
(CHILDLIKE compresses its lips.)
The rather few positions a human body might adopt / its limited repertoire / need not diminish its capacity for creating / in the one privileged to contemplate it / breathless wonder / is breathless wonder common? /
CHILDLIKE: No / yes / no / I /
ARCHITECT: IT IS NOT COMMON /
CHILDLIKE: No / not common / possibly / not common and /
ARCHITECT: IT IS NOT COMMON AND I AM RIGHT /
CHILDLIKE: (Browbeaten.) Yes /
ARCHITECT: (In a surge of pain.) THE SKIRT TIGHT ON MY MOTHER’S ARSE / HER EXTENDED THIGH / HER LIFTED HIP / AND HIM / AND HIM /
(She cries out.)
HIS WONDER ARRIVING AGAIN /
(She shudders. THE MORTALLY ILL utter in unison.)
MORTALLY ILL: AND THEN THE DOOR FELL OPEN /
ARCHITECT: WHY? / WHY? /
(The heaving of ARCHITECT’s body subsides. In the
silence, her deep sobbing. The electric motor whines.
ARCHITECT departs. THE MORTALLY ILL seem
drained of strength and support one another as they
limp from the room. CHILDLIKE hangs back,
observing them.)
27
CHILDLIKE: Brutal / if only she was /
28
CHILDLIKE: Mild her hurting /
29
CHILDLIKE: Mild / and as a consequence / they erode / they do not die /
(It skips.)
When dying
is the point / I know / I was dying in the womb / hereditary defects / cross infections / unknown blood groups / impossible to save me / consensus of the specialists / absurd to try / my mother was relieved / a one-eyed hermaphrodite / not to everybody’s taste / but the expected / the predicted / the desired / oh / the sheer frustration / I failed to die /
(It laughs. It skips.)
Still I / still I /
(It is suddenly still.)
HAUNT THE GATE /
(It seems bemused.)
And they rush by / the actors / footballers / astronauts / their plane crashes / their lost battles with tumours / I’m shoved aside / I’m sick / I say / I always was / as far as mortal sickness goes I’m over-qualified /
(It reflects.)
No / she hurts in a tepid way / Miss Architect /
30
OSTEND enters. Her fingers twitch against her sides.
OSTEND: I fell three floors /
31
CHILDLIKE looks puzzled.
OSTEND: Metaphorically / three floors /
(She laughs. Shortly, with a toss of her head.)
I was not / however / impaled on the railings /
(DOOBEE appears, with the baggage.)
Was I? /
(DOOBEE shakes his head.)
Metaphorically impaled? /
DOOBEE: You were not /
OSTEND: I was not / I was not /
(She gazes on DOOBEE.)
DOOBEE: I’ll put the bags in the car /
OSTEND: Darling /
(DOOBEE is half-shy of her.)
Darling /
(He goes out. OSTEND plucks her gloves.)
I forgot the layout of the rooms / the landings / half-landings / and so on / it was only when I got inside the /
(She falters.)
What? / what shall we call it? / the museum / I recognized / whose room it was /
(She moves her fingers anxiously.)
And the car /
CHILDLIKE: Brown car /
OSTEND: The car / when I looked out the window / was parked / oh /
(She shakes her head.)
As if we had colluded in this / this / what shall we call it? / archaeology / the car was parked in exactly the same spot /
(She laughs, unrealistically. CHILDLIKE, as if
delighted by her account, utters.)
CHILDLIKE: OFF-WHITE UPHOLSTERY /
(OSTEND looks at CHILDLIKE for some moments.)
OSTEND: Tell my daughter / I fell three floors /
CHILDLIKE: Three floors? /
Barker, Plays Eight Page 25
