(CHILDLIKE frowns.)
What is it that requires explaining? /
(CHILDLIKE looks into OSTEND as if it might read
her thoughts. The sound of the electric motor
announces the return of ARCHITECT.)
53
CHILDLIKE: OFF-WHITE / OFF-WHITE / OFF-WHITE UPHOLSTERY /
(It runs out as the electric bed cruises into the room
and stops.)
54
ARCHITECT: Thank you for Doobee /
(OSTEND chooses not to reply.)
In this man / extraordinary depth / breathtaking complexity /
(She gazes as if ravished.)
OSTEND: (Coolly.) I could never have kept Doobee / his reverence for women requires some exercise of pity / I might have leapt ten floors / still I think you /
(OSTEND contemplates her own tactlessness.)
You would have held the greater fascination /
(The women are still, fortified.)
ARCHITECT: Show me yourself /
(OSTEND is hesitant.)
I want to see how loss describes itself in you /
(OSTEND bides her time.)
SHOW ME THE LOSS / MOTHER / COME INTO VIEW /
(In her own time, OSTEND walks round the bed
and stands for ARCHITECT’s inspection. Her posture
does not yield to scrutiny.)
OSTEND: Doobee /
ARCHITECT: (Pleading.) Shh /
(OSTEND submits to further study.)
OSTEND: (At the end of her patience.) Doobee knew everything there is to know /
ARCHITECT: Oh / shh /
(By way of reply to ARCHITECT’s plea, OSTEND
walks out of her vision.)
OSTEND: About gear-boxes / brake-linings / and so on /
(She plucks her gloves.)
Finding parts for old cars / not easy nowadays / rather few men / I think / know what lies beneath the bonnet / my father did / my dear father / he / with rolled-up sleeves he /
(She falters. In the silence, the distant sound of a
dog in an upstairs room.)
ARCHITECT: Buy a new one /
55
The suggestion menaces OSTEND.
OSTEND: Buy a new car? /
(She affects nonchalance.)
But the old one is in perfect order / a speck of rust / the slightest blemish in the chrome / he / Doobee / not Doobee / not Doobee now / Doobee previously / he /
(She disciplines her thoughts.)
And the other three / devoted to its preservation / immediately they /
(She is assured.)
attended it / oh /
(She shakes her head.)
With cloths and fragrant polishes /
(She makes a slight gesture.)
My own decay I can’t conceal / the car / however / might be perpetuated /
(ARCHITECT calculates.)
Endlessly /
(ARCHITECT frowns.)
Presumably /
ARCHITECT: The car is not a car /
OSTEND: Not a car? / what is it / then? /
(ARCHITECT’s silences are deliberate.)
It sounds like a car / it smells like a car /
ARCHITECT: Yes /
OSTEND: It stops / and goes / like a car /
ARCHITECT: It has all the characteristics of a car /
OSTEND: So how can it be said /
ARCHITECT: (Condescendingly.) Shh /
OSTEND: Of a thing / which satisfies in all respects the terms of its definition /
ARCHITECT: Shh / shh /
OSTEND: (With a spasm of resentment.) DON’T HUSH ME / DON’T CHILD ME LIKE THAT / DON’T /
(ARCHITECT is gratified by OSTEND’s frustration.
OSTEND discovers a mild tone.)
That it is / notwithstanding it fulfils / and possibly surpasses / these exacting criteria /
(She stops. She laughs.)
It’s not a car /
ARCHITECT: It’s a temple /
OSTEND: It’s a temple / yes /
ARCHITECT: And these men /
OSTEND: Whilst being men /
ARCHITECT: By all the usual /
OSTEND: Objective /
ARCHITECT: Usual and objective /
OSTEND: Criteria of maleness / masculinity /
ARCHITECT: Etcetera /
OSTEND: Are also /
ARCHITECT: Priests / scholars / doctors of theology / who practise their devotions on the back seats /
(They seem to share a moment of assent. OSTEND
walks back into ARCHITECT’s line of sight.)
So frayed the relic / so frantic the priest /
(They look into one another.)
Say sorry to me /
(The shape of OSTEND’s shoulders suggests she is
contemplating this, but ARCHITECT wilfully obliterates
the prospect.)
Doobee says / hear Doobee / Doobee says my mouth is ten cunts / ten cunts tight / ten cunts deep /
(ARCHITECT glares at her mother, who lifts a hand
to her, but seeing it is gloved, tears off the glove with
her free hand and flings it to the floor.)
HEED DOOBEE /
(ARCHITECT engages the electric motor and swiftly
glides from the room. OSTEND is left with her hand
in the air.)
56
The sound of whimpering and mewing pets is heard.
ATTO: (The first to enter.) It’s all over with Caroline /
OSTEND: Is it? /
ATTO: I couldn’t watch / no more could Marjorie /
SLUMP: (Entering.) Oh God / oh God / Billy /
ATTO: (To SLUMP.) And Marjorie was like a sister to her / wasn’t she? /
SLUMP: Oh God /
ATTO: A sister to Caroline? /
SLUMP: One by one we left / we didn’t stay to see /
OSTEND: What? / what did you not stay to see? /
WINDUS: (Entering.) It’s not over /
ATTO: (Horrified.) It’s not? / it’s not over? /
SLUMP: Oh God /
WINDUS: (To BASIN, who enters.) It’s not over / is it / darling? /
BASIN: (Disgusted.) The noise /
WINDUS: The noise of it /
BASIN: (Parodying his horror.) This uuaagh / this uuaagh /
WINDUS: It’s the vomiting that gets to me /
ATTO: And you liked Caroline /
BASIN: I liked Caroline /
WINDUS: Some can take it /
BASIN: Others can’t / me / I can’t /
SLUMP: Is anybody with her? /
WINDUS: Nobody /
ATTO: Nobody’s with her /
BASIN: This uuaagh / this uuaagh /
SLUMP: Poor bloody Caroline /
ATTO: Oh dear / oh dear /
BASIN: Vomiting /
WINDUS: And dying /
ATTO: And not a soul /
WINDUS: Not even Marjorie /
ATTO: Nobody near /
57
CHILDLIKE: (Entering.) Marjorie’s lying down /
(THE MORTALLY ILL look to CHILDLIKE.)
The collapse of Caroline has / inexorably resulted in the collapse of Marjorie /
(THE MORTALLY ILL sigh and groan in a spasm of
sympathy. OSTEND goes to surge upstairs.)
PLEASE /
(CHILDLIKE’s vehemence stops OSTEND.)
Don’t violate her wretchedness / her perfect
wretchedness / with your dubious sympathy /
OSTEND: It is not dubious /
CHILDLIKE: DO YOU KNOW CAROLINE? /
OSTEND: I don’t know Caroline /
CHILDLIKE: YOU DON’T KNOW CAROLINE /
OSTEND: Neither Caroline nor Marjorie / I do not require to know them in order to /
CHILDLIKE: You are fraudulent /
(OSTEND senses the scrutiny of THE MORTALLY
ILL.)
Here we die differently /
OSTEND: Alone /
>
CHILDLIKE: In unheated rooms / unconsoled / and undeceived /
(CHILDLIKE’s single eye is fixed on OSTEND. To her own
surprise, she suddenly dissolves into tears, heaving and
sobbing. The pets respond, wailing and fidgeting. The
MORTALLY ILL are uncomfortable but at the same time,
prurient. They lean, they gather. Only the appearance
of the electric bed distracts them, causing them to stagger
back. ARCHITECT stops, briefly, to observe the crisis of
OSTEND, then continues on her way. OSTEND shows no
awareness of her passage. Swiftly, OSTEND restores
herself.)
58
OSTEND: I attach no significance to my own tears /
(She pulls a handkerchief from her sleeve.)
And when others attach significance to them /
(She dries her eyes.)
They are invariably wrong /
(She tucks away the handkerchief and concealing
her lack of a destination by the decisiveness of her
manner, turns to go, first in one direction then
immediately in the other. CHILDLIKE detects her
confusion and on an impulse seizes her violently by
the wrist. She is stopped.)
59
OSTEND: Let go of me /
(CHILDLIKE is unrelenting and fixing its eye to the floor,
seems braced. THE MORTALLY ILL watch with
fascination.)
Let go of me /
(CHILDLIKE is adamant.)
You are stronger than you think /
(OSTEND suddenly pulls but ineffectively.)
That hurts /
(CHILDLIKE is mineral.)
Listen / I am not a young woman and I have thin skin / if you bruise me /
(She affects a laugh and tries another tack.)
I will smack you /
(THE MORTALLY ILL enjoy her initiative and laugh,
not without sympathy.)
I will give you such a smack in a minute /
(Nothing avails.)
Such a smack /
(Pause.)
I hate situations / situations not of my own making / and with people looking on / it’s /
(She falters. She looks to THE MORTALLY ILL.)
Speak to him / please /
(THE MORTALLY ILL decline to intervene.
CHILDLIKE is tenacious as a dog.)
All right / I’ll smack you /
(THE MORTALLY ILL laugh. OSTEND’s free hand
is the ungloved. She aims and delivers a blow. The
MORTALLY ILL laugh and applaud as if
spectators at a circus. CHILDLIKE is unmoved, OSTEND
frustrated.)
For someone who claims to believe so passionately in argument this is /
(She delivers a fierce blow to CHILDLIKE’s face. The
MORTALLY ILL are thrilled and jump up and
down, their pets barking in sympathy. Not expecting
CHILDLIKE to capitulate, OSTEND rains futile
blows on it. As soon as she stops, it releases her. The
MORTALLY ILL fall silent. OSTEND lifts her freed
hand and nurses her wrist. In the peculiar stasis that
follows, PORTSLADE enters.)
PORTSLADE: It’s all over with Caroline /
(No one heeds this information.)
At last /
(The tension is unbroken. The entire focus of the
MORTALLY ILL remains on the spectacle of OSTEND
and CHILDLIKE, CHILDLIKE rigid and still gazing
at the floor, OSTEND slowly massaging her injury.)
She fell out of bed /
(PORTSLADE now shares the curiosity of the others.)
That did it /
(CHILDLIKE moves at last, to retrieve the glove
thrown down by OSTEND, and offers it to her. She
accepts it.)
CHILDLIKE: I’ll wait in the car /
OSTEND: (Indifferently.) Will you? /
CHILDLIKE: The brown car /
OSTEND: Is there any other? /
CHILDLIKE: The back seats of the brown car /
(OSTEND stares at CHILDLIKE, who walks away.)
THE MORTALLY BROWN CAR / OFF-WHITE UPHOLSTERY /
ILL:
(They collapse in fits of giggling. The pets mew and
fidget. OSTEND is neither conciliatory nor indignant.)
60
OSTEND: He has not seduced me /
(Embarrassment and mischief combine to excite
THE MORTALLY ILL to further laughter, which falters
in the face of OSTEND’s peculiar resolution.)
Really / I am not seduced /
(They watch her nervously. As if with decision, she
turns to follow CHILDLIKE, but stops.)
MOMPER: Don’t go /
(OSTEND is fixed to the spot.)
ATTO: If you don’t want to /
MOMPER: Say no / darling /
PORTSLADE: Say no / say no /
(OSTEND seems to contemplate their advice.
Suddenly she looks up at them, frowning with
incomprehension.)
OSTEND: I came here for a reason /
(They pity her. They gaze on her.)
MOMPER: What reason? /
(OSTEND shakes her head frantically and briefly like
an animal.)
ATTO: What was the reason / darling? /
OSTEND: I don’t know /
(She lifts her eyes to them, pitifully.)
So a dying dwarf could strip my clothes from me / perhaps / so his one eye / and his one hand / like thirst-stricken travellers / could go through the shrivelled land of me /
(She hunches.)
I DON’T KNOW / I DON’T KNOW /
(A certain dread overtakes OSTEND, which the
MORTALLY ILL detect.)
LOOS: The door did not fall open / let us use language scrupulously / the door did not fall open / the handle /
OSTEND: I have said so /
LOOS: The handle was depressed /
ATTO: And from the inside /
OSTEND: FROM THE INSIDE / YES /
(She scrutinizes them, trying to ascertain their
sympathies. The animals fidget. OSTEND frowns. A
distant door bangs in a draught.)
LOOS: (At last.) We believe in you /
(OSTEND is puzzled.)
OSTEND: Believe in me? /
THE MORTALLY (As if acclaiming her.) BELIEVE IN YOU / YES /
ILL:
(OSTEND creates an uncanny smile.)
OSTEND: You believe in me / and believing in me / does that make me a god? /
(They laugh like children.)
I mean to say / you /
(They shake and shudder in their delight, as if confessing
an adored secret. OSTEND is infected by their mischief.)
You don’t believe / or disbelieve / my answer to your question / the truth as such / it’s /
(She shrugs.)
Irrelevant /
(She is charged.)
OF COURSE THE DOOR DID NOT FALL OPEN.
(THE MORTALLY ILL are inspired.)
LOOS: It did not /
ALDRINGTON: It did not /
OSTEND: CERTAINLY IT DID NOT /
(They rock and giggle.)
I put my hand to it / I depressed the handle / it swung open noiselessly / on oiled hinges / in rushed a draught / this draught was like a cold tongue /
THE MORTALLY (Charmed.) A COLD TONGUE /
ILL:
OSTEND: A cold tongue on my legs /
ATTO: (Helpfully.) Bare legs /
OSTEND: Bare legs / yes /
ATTO: Wide open /
OSTEND: WIDE OPEN AND BARE LEGS / and there /
(The pace of her narrative is broken.)
Stood a child / and this child stared / my own child / in the bright glare
of the snow /
(Pause.)
How long this stare endured / I don’t know / but a long time / until at last the man beside me said / the man /
(Pause.)
The man who / given his age / given that this was long ago / is certainly dead /
(THE MORTALLY ILL gaze on OSTEND with love or
wonder. The car horn is heard, and ignored.)
I had to show /
(They smile.)
I HAD TO SHOW / AND IF SOME VOICE ASSURED ME / YOUR CHILD WILL FLING HERSELF THREE FLOORS / AND HANG / TWITCHING / FROM RAILINGS / IT COULD HAVE MADE NO DIFFERENCE /
(THE MORTALLY ILL hesitate for a little time, then
spontaneously applaud. OSTEND shrinks.)
It was not bravado /
(She shakes her head.)
Listen / you / you /
(The car horn, repeated, seems to excite the
MORTALLY ILL into a state of euphoria.)
THE MORALLY (Mischievously.) DON’T GO / DON’T GO /
ILL:
OSTEND: You think / you think / she is so /
(The pets squirm and bark.)
SO BRAZEN /
(In her frustration OSTEND can only raise a hand, staring at the floor, a picture of solitude. At last the excitement subsides. THE MORTALLY ILL attend on OSTEND, impatient as a class. OSTEND’s hand falls.)
The door fell open / not because I opened it / but because it was impossible it should stay closed / there had to be witness / the witness was my child / my child /
(She is impaled on the word.)
My child /
(She squirms.)
My child then chose /
(OSTEND lifts her gaze.)
To render her life loathsome / and thereby / cause me to loathe my own /
(The pets, discerning the sound of the mobile bed,
fidget and whimper.)
61
ARCHITECT enters, and stops. THE MORTALLY ILL are drained of their delight.
OSTEND: (Not turning to address her daughter.) I say chose / can it be said / of any six-year old / the child chose? /
62
ARCHITECT is perfectly silent. The car horn sounds. In the leaden atmosphere, a sense of alarm.
ONSEE: Maurice /
(A pet writhes.)
Maurice /
BASIN: What? /
ONSEE: Help me upstairs / Maurice / please /
(BASIN is unwilling. A disastrous event unfolds in
private.)
MAURICE /
(A wave of movement. A pet yelps.)
SLUMP: Maurice /
BASIN: (Ill-temperedly.) Maurice yourself /
MOMPER: All right / darling /
Barker, Plays Eight Page 28
