Pr e t t y s o o n t h e w i n d brought the tangy scent of coyotes, Antwan believing it must be the Diablos roaming the land. That way, across the slope and into those trees down there. He stretched his legs now and Buddy came bounding after him.
The coyotes were in a clearing where shafts of sunlight came through the trees: six Howling Diablos in a loose circle, with Lola, back arched in her snowy coat, in the middle.
The first thing Antwan did was yip Wassup and go around brushing noses, the coyote style of giving high fives.
They asked Antwan what was up and he told them, Same old same old. Now it was time to come to the point and he kept it simple. He said, This is Buddy, the movie star.
Understand? Buddy from the Buddy movies. Buddy and the Kidnappers? We saw it every night it was playing at the drive-in. Saves this little dog name of Pedro from the bad guys. This is Buddy, and this is Buddy's cat, Lola. Understand what I'm saying to you? Buddy don't want you messing with his cat.
He spoke to them this way when there was no time to explain and they'd have to take his word for whatever it was. And they would, they'd say cool, because Antwan was cool and always had a good reason for what he did.
The dog, the coyote and now the cat continued on toward the canyon where Lola lived. Antwan asked her if she knew the way. Lola seemed to think about it before saying, That way, pointing her precious little face in the wrong direction.
Antwan said to Buddy, She don't even know where she lives.
How could I see where I was going, Lola said, with you dragging me?
They went on and before long Lola was lagging behind. Antwan looked back to tell her, I'll take you by the collar if you want.
Lola was sitting down now. She said, Just wait. For what?
She said, You'll be sorry. Acting snippy now.
I save her, Antwan said, from being what's for dinner and she talks to me like that?
She's a movie star, Buddy said.
He walked over to Lola and put his nose in her pug face as she stood up ready to run, but didn't move, held there by Buddy's size. He said to her, Honey, I saw your picture, the Slime Creatures? The contrast was there, your white fluff against the slime, but you know what? You weren't that good. Now tell Antwan what he's gonna be sorry about.
Lola was timid now, Buddy's low growl having put her in her place. She said, I meant he'd have to be careful that he doesn't get shot.
Yeah, with Lola missing they'll be hunters out there with guns, Buddy said, thinking a coyote might've got her. I've been listening for gunshots.
I heard one, Antwan said, just a minute ago. Buddy said, Where's the house from here?
The next canyon over, Antwan said. On the shady side this time of day. It looks like part of the rocks.
You've come far enough, Buddy said to him. The hunters will shoot you on sight.
Antwan believed it; he'd been shot at before. He said to Buddy, What about you? They'll think you're a wolf.
I was offered a wolf part once. I turned it down. They put that black stuff on your face so you look mean. Uhunh, Buddy said, I would never play a wolf. They're always bad guys.
The same way humans see us, Antwan said. But you want to join the pack and become a coyote.
I'll give it a try, Buddy said. It's hard to explain, but I think of coyotes having more fun than wolves.
We eat the same animals.
Yeah, but you don't eat humans.
Antwan let that pass. And now both Antwan and Buddy raised their faces at the sound of a gunshot and its echo, far away. They sure like to fire their guns, Antwan said. I wish I had one.
He saw Buddy and Lola were ready to leave, Buddy saying, Don't worry, I'll get the little girl home.
Antwan stood watching as they ran off, Buddy loping through the brush, Lola scurrying after him.
It wasn't Lola Antwan was worried about.
Buddy was confident he'd find the way to Lola's house. They'd keep to high ground, look both ways crossing roads, listen for cars and the sounds of humans, and stay clear of houses dotting the hillsides. The only problem, Lola kept falling behind and Buddy would have to wait each time for her to catch up, her little pink tongue hanging out. He wouldn't scold, though, yell at the poor thing. No, he was patient and would ask if she was okay.
They stopped to rest in the shade of trees on a high ridge. Lola spied the canyon across the way and became excited, frisky, knowing she was almost home. Buddy poked her with his nose and she turned to him, her expression for a moment fearful.
I didn't mean it when I said you weren't that good in the slime movie.
You hurt my feelings, Lola said.
You were acting like a spoiled brat, Buddy said. I got mad and I shouldn't have. That part where the slime creatures grab you? I thought you played it beautifully.
I hated that scene. I end up in the slime pit.
But you fought hard, hissed and clawed at them. Really, you were great.
Well, thank you, Lola said. Coming from a fellow actor it means a lot to me.
I was thinking, Buddy said, I could come visit sometime if you like, talk about showbiz?
I'd like that very much, Lola said, just don't bring the coyote. He makes me nervous.
All they had to do now was make their way down the slope, cross the road, go up the canyon a little way and Lola would be home.
They were part of the way down, Lola so anxious she was keeping up with him, even getting a little ahead, when Buddy spotted the hunters: a line of them spread out across the slope. He knew that at any moment the hunters would spot Lola, snowy white against the dusty green of the brush.
Keep going, Buddy told her. Get out in the open where they can see you.
Lola stopped. Are you coming?
I'm right behind you, Buddy said, but cautious now, watching the line of hunters not a hundred yards away coming toward them. Now he heard shouts from the hunters and stopped in his tracks.
There she is!
What's that after her?
It's a wolf shoot it!
Chapter Ten.
The Pooch Caboose was in the drive, meaning Miss Betty was having her burrs removed. There was no way of telling how long she'd been in there. Antwan imagined the groomer biting off the burrs and saying Ouch a lot.
He went into the kitchen for a drink of water. The dad came in and said something to the maid that had Buddy's name in it, sounding like he was asking if Buddy had come home. The maid said no, shaking her head. The dad started in on Antwan then, calling him Timmy and saying Buddy and Miss Betty's names. Now the dad was stroking Antwan and calling him fella. Antwan got tired of it, started to walk away and the dad said, Stay. Antwan knew that one, so he had to stop and stand there like a fool, wait for the dad to let him go. The mom came in and the dad started on her, raising his voice like he was blaming her, but the mom let him talk, not saying a word. She went to the refrigerator and got herself a beverage. Antwan pushed through the dog door and went outside thinking about Buddy.
Buddy the hero in movies so many times he believed there was nothing to it. But now this was real life and the gunshots were real, hunters out there in their suits all different patterns of green and black, some tan Cletus said they wore those suits so you couldn't see them. Antwan said that time, But if I know what colors the suits are I must've seen 'em. Old Cletus said, Even if you couldn't you can smell the ketchup they had on their hamburgers. Smell, man, was what kept you out of trouble. Buddy had it. Antwan hoped he was using it.
What was strange, here he was the first time in his life worrying about a dog.
The kids were on the patio now watching TV, Antwan still in the backyard when Buddy came over the fence. He looked the same, all dog, but serious and maybe tired from running. Courtney came over and talked to him for a minute and went back to the TV.
What'd she say?
I'm gonna get it, Buddy said. How's Betty?
Been in the Caboose since I got here. How you doing? Buddy looked up at the
house and then at Antwan again.
Lola saved my life.
Hey, come on, Antwan said, 'cause he couldn't imagine it. That little bit of a thing?
We came onto hunters spread across the hill. I told Lola to go on, run down to them. The minute she did I hear them yelling at each other, 'It's a wolf!' and now they're shooting at me. If I ran I'd have been in plain sight, so I got down behind some rocks. Now they had me pinned there and started up the hill to finish me off.
Antwan couldn't wait, he wanted to know right now, How'd she save your life?
The little girl ran back to where I was, got up on the rocks and they had to stop shooting.
She must've got over being snippy, Antwan said.
Buddy didn't like that. He told Antwan, Don't ever let me hear you make fun of Lola. She risked her life to save me.
Cool, Antwan said. Then what happened?
The hunters came up holding their guns ready, like I might leap out at them. One of them looks at me and goes, 'That ain't a wolf, that's Buddy from the movies. See the red neckerchief?'
Good thing you still wear it. Then what happened?
I became a phony hero. I must've saved her from wolves because they had wolves on their minds. Doesn't matter there aren't any wolves around here. One of them said it might've been coyotes after her. I wanted to tell him, 'You're right, but I didn't save her.' We had a group picture taken, Lola and me in front of all these hunters with their guns. Lola stood up with her paws on me, licked my face and everybody laughed like at the end of a Buddy movie, someone asks do I want to go home and I bark.
Antwan said, They must've taken you to the house then so Lola's owner could thank you and give you a kiss.
No kisses, but I got patted on the head some more and called fella. Some humans, that's all they can think to call you, fella. They like 'boy' a lot, too.
The dad even called me 'fella,' Antwan said. Those people give you anything?
I told you, pats on the head.
That's all you got in the kidnapping movie, after you rescue little Pedro.
Because the whole point of the role I play, Buddy said, I don't expect anything, virtue being its own reward. They say that in the movie?
My owner, the dad. Remember at the end how I'm getting all this attention and the reporters are talking to the dad? He says, 'Buddy didn't rescue little Pedro to get his picture in the paper. Buddy only did what he had to do.'
Yeah, well, it works okay in a movie, Antwan said, but real life, man, that's different. I can imagine you thinking maybe a big steak, blood running out of it, wouldn't be too bad.
It sends the wrong message, Buddy said. The pat on the head and the tidbit shoved in your mouth is okay. It's what we're used to. I wasn't a hero this time anyway, with Lola. It was a setup and I'd just as soon forget the whole thing. He looked toward the house. I might as well go inside and let the dad yell at me, get that over with.
Wait, Antwan said, his ears standing up, hearing a voice from inside the house. He's talking loud to somebody right now.
It wasn't a minute later the dog door pushed open and Antwan frowned saying, Who's this?
Betty? Buddy said, sounding like he wasn't sure. Then, It is, it's Betty.
A Miss Betty that Antwan had never seen before. Her thick mane of creamy hair gone, her topknot gone, her puffs and pom-poms, Miss Betty shorn down to a short coat covering her, all of her show decorations gone, zipped off.
You're a dog! Antwan said to her.
Meaning it as a compliment, Miss Betty now looking like she was supposed to, what she was, instead of like a wedding cake with a black nose on it.
You're a regular dog.
Miss Betty looked at him with a terribly sad expression and ran back in the house.
I haven't seen her like that, Buddy said, since she was a pup. Why don't you talk to her, tell her she looks great.
I did, Antwan said.
I know what you meant, Buddy said, but she needs something more than just being called a dog. She likes you. See what you can do while I go in and get yelled at. i s s B e t t y was s i t t i n g in her room by the window, looking out, staring like she was lost in thought, her back to her trophies, not even looking around when Antwan came in.
He didn't bother with the door, he went over to her and said to the back of her head, I have to ask you, don't you think you look fine with your new sleek and swift look?
No answer playing that game with him again.
He said, Come over here with me. She didn't move. Antwan took her ear gently in his teeth and brought Miss Betty over to a pink oval mirror on a stand and placed her six feet away from it.
He said, Look at yourself. Go on, do it. Antwan nipped the back of her head, raising it, and she stared at her glum expression in the mirror. Okay, now say to the mirror, 'You looking at me?' I'm kidding. Say to the mirror, 'Girl, you look fine.'
She hesitated. He nipped the back of her curly, crew-cut head, and she said, I can't.
Turn sideways. Go on, you got nothing to lose.
She did it, she turned.
A little more . . . There. Now look over your shoulder at the mirror and say, 'Girl, you are a cool chick.'
I can't.
Cock your hip a little bit. You know what I'm saying? You're cool and you know it . . . That's it. All right, now say the line.
I can't.
There's nothing to saying it. Look in the mirror and say it like being cool is no big deal.
You are a cool chick, Miss Betty said.
You sure? You don't sound it. And you forgot 'Girl.' Girl, you are a cool chick.
You're almost there. But now you have to slow it down. Know what I'm saying? Put some funk in it, drag it, like you're listening to hip-hop in your head and you're on the beat.
Miss Betty said, Girl? and paused. You are a coool chick, you know it? Yeah, I know it.
You got it nailed, Antwan said. Tell yourself that every four hours and call me in the morning.
Miss Betty's gaze followed him out the door, before returning to the mirror. he next day the group photo of Buddy, Lola and the hunters appeared on page three of the Los Angeles Times.
The headline said: LIFE IMITATES ART. And below that: Star of the Buddy Series Saves Champion Show Cat from Pack of Coyotes.
The dad read the entire story aloud, saying now and again, Listen to this, fella. Buddy listened and walked away with his head hanging. The dad said, What's the matter with our boy?
Antwan wondered the same thing. He said to Buddy, What's wrong with you, homes? Man, you're famous all over again. Have your picture in the paper Yeah, Buddy said, for something I didn't do.
The German dog was as glum as Miss Betty when she first looked at herself in the mirror. Antwan shook his head, trying to understand these dogs becoming depressed. They had everything handed to them. They didn't have a worry in the world. What was the problem?
Maybe, Antwan thought, they tried too hard to act like humans. Another way to look at it: their heads were so turned around they had trouble seeing they were dogs. he day after the picture was in the paper, Buddy's agent stopped by with his shiny brown dachshund, here to take a meeting with the mom and dad. The maid brought refreshments to them on the patio.
Antwan had never seen a Hollywood agent before, so he walked past to have a look at this short dude in the suit of clothes. The dude was busy talking, but stopped as he saw Antwan. The dad said, That's our new dog, Timmy. The dude said, Timmy? He looks a lot like a coyote. Has he ever been in pictures?
Antwan caught the Timmy part but didn't understand any of the rest of it. He saw Miss Betty watching from her window. Today she seemed to be doing better, less glum, but said she had no reason to come down. Antwan took that to mean she was still self-conscious about her new hairdo.
Now he strolled across the yard to join Buddy and the agent's shiny brown lowrider dachshund named Swifty. As Antwan came up to them Swifty said, You don't look like a Timmy to me. Bro, you look like some kin
d of wild thang.
And you look like about twenty pounds of baloney, Antwan said. How you doing?
Buddy said, That's enough. Let's go inside and have a treat. They passed through the dog door and now they were standing around in the kitchen, Swifty's long skinny nose raised, sniffing.
He said, I'll have a peanut butter cookie instead of the treat. I smell 'em close by.
Antwan said, But out of your reach, Shorty. Cookies aren't good for you, they give you the gas.
Swifty turned to Buddy. Where'd you get this mutt, off the street?
Be careful what you say to Timmy, Buddy said. You don't want to upset him.
I don't even know him, Swifty said. We came here to talk about you.
What's the deal?
A Harry Zimm picture.
Bringing back the Buddy series?
The hope in Buddy's eyes died as Swifty said, Bro, that was ages ago. This one is based on a science fiction book. Harry hasn't read it yet, but there's a dog in it and he thought of you right away.
Antwan said, When he saw Buddy's picture in the paper. You're not in this, Swifty said, this is between Buddy and I, and turned to him again. The only thing Harry's worried about is if you've put on weight.
I'm the same as I was on the Buddy pictures. What's this one about, a maniac with a chain saw or a mutation, a giant cockroach or something?
What difference does it make? Swifty said. There's a part in it for you.
How much?
Scale. Only what he has to pay.
Get another dog, Buddy said.
Come on, you know Harry Zimm, he's a tightwad, he's still got his bar mitzvah money.
I want what I got for the last Buddy picture.
You won't get it.
Wait a minute, Antwan said to Buddy. This guy is your agent?
Well, my agent's dog, but he acts like an agent, he tells me what's going on.
Antwan said, He works for you, homes. You don't work for him.
Buddy said, I know that.
The way it should be, Antwan said, he gets you what you want or you get another agent.
Swifty, trying to stand up to Antwan looking down at him, said, It doesn't work that way, especially not for dog parts. What you want to do, bro, is stay out of it.
A Coyote's in the House Page 6
