by Taryn Quinn
“I’d have another child to love and my little girl would have a sibling, something she wants more than anything else in this world.” I toyed with the handle of my coffee cup. “Even more than she wants a mother, and that’s the one thing I can never give her. Fucked that one up royally.”
Ally sighed and tweaked my pinky, curled around the cooling mug. I’d barely touched my coffee. My throat was too tight.
“That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know Marj was only it for the dough. How could you?”
“Oh, I don’t know, that she was always more concerned about fur coats and jewels than baby formula and lullabies? If I’d been paying attention, that is. But as you said, I’m always working.” I heard the bitterness in my tone and couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it, though I knew I was screwing this up more with every passing moment.
I didn’t want Ally feeling sorry for me or guilted into this situation. I wanted her to make the choice because it would be good for her and good for me and Laurie. A positive thing all around.
“She didn’t breastfeed?”
“Is that relevant?”
“No, not really, just that it’s such a healthy, nurturing experience. It’s not an imperative, of course. A baby can be perfectly happy and cared for without it.”
“I’d be fine with you breastfeeding our child.” Just saying those words had my stomach tightening in weird and unexpected ways.
“Stop it.” She hissed out a breath. “We don’t have a child. Nor will we. I don’t know why you’re pursuing this, really, but it’s not very funny. Now I should get back to—”
I reached out and snagged her wrist. “Let me spell this out for you before you run from me and concoct all kinds of crazy scenarios in your head. I want another child. I do not want another relationship, potentially with a woman who would harm our baby and not be viable long-term. I just want a healthy child. To that end, I am prepared to compensate you for your significant time investment. Four years at the college of your choosing, tuition free. If you desire to go to grad school, that will be covered as well.”
She yanked back her hand and let it drop limply into her lap. “You’ve gone stark raving mad.”
“Actually, I feel saner than I ever have. Instead of lamenting I can’t have what I want, what my daughter wants, I can make it happen with a woman I trust. The only woman I trust.” Swallowing hard, I gripped the handle of my mug and fought not to reach for Ally again. “I’m not exaggerating. It’s you or no one. I can’t risk it with anyone else.”
Her lower lip wobbled and I clutched the handle until my damn knuckles went white. If she cried, I’d be done for.
“Not fair,” she whispered. “So not fair.”
“No, what’s not fair is that you work your fingers to the bone in this place and you have dreams you can’t see your way to because of all the bills.”
She clenched her jaw. “As soon as I sell Mama’s house—”
“What, you’ll barely be out of the hole? I have more money than I know what to do with. I can make a good life for my kids. Both of them, including the one I’d have with you. And you’d be free, Ally. You could go to school like you want. I know you probably wouldn’t want to quit here, and that’s fine. But school would be taken care of, and then your dreams could be yours. Anything you want.”
She turned her head away and stared hard out the window at some place I couldn’t see. But she damn well wasn’t seeing the tidy, well-kept Main Street of our small town, I was certain. Her gaze was farther off, on a future I couldn’t imagine.
For all I knew, she’d leave Crescent Cove. With the money she’d receive, she could go somewhere else and start over for real. I knew she loved the diner, but more than anything, she spoke of fresh starts. Hard to have one in a town synonymous with so many bad memories for her. So much loss.
Sure, Laurie was here. I was here, plus Sage and her other friends at the diner. But there was a huge world out there, just waiting for Ally to make her mark. This way, she could. Without being tied down by anyone or anything.
As much as I might hate the idea of going even one day without seeing her smile or having her roll her eyes at me or hearing her laughter, it wasn’t about me now. She deserved a chance to live the way she wanted to.
So did I.
“You’re paying me for my eggs,” she said quietly. “Like I’m a freaking chicken. Except my eggs are like fucking gold lined in platinum, if they’re worth a college education.”
A laugh tickled the back of my throat, but it was too constricted for me to let it free. “Anywhere you want,” I gritted out instead. “A free ride all the way. Ivy League if that’s what floats your boat.”
Her chest quickly rose and fell, drawing my attention to her full breasts heaving under the starched cotton of her uniform. I tried not to notice. I respected the fuck out of her, but I also wanted to fuck her senseless.
Something I don’t think I’d fully realized until that exact moment. Even knowing what I was asking of her, what it would entail…I’d been focused on the end result, not the process.
Now that process was playing out in my head in lurid Technicolor, and my stiff dick was lurching against the zipper of my jeans. And she was still breathing hard and worrying the silver rings she wore on each finger, her mind whirling faster than she could give voice to her thoughts. Or else she didn’t want to share.
I wanted to fuck her until every one of those thoughts tumbled out of her pretty mouth. To strip her bare until she could hide nothing from me. Her innermost secrets, her hot tits, her sweet pussy.
All of her, mine for the taking.
But I didn’t say any of that. Not yet. There was one point I needed to clarify, however.
“You keep talking about your eggs. You think that’s what I mean?”
“I don’t know what you’re getting at, because this is all crazy talk. You never gave me one inkling you were thinking like this before and now you’re all in on baby central.”
“Okay, yes, I know my technique could use some work. But I figured you’d say no, so if we can get to that part, then we can get to the part where I considerately give you time to think about it while I do my level best to convince you. Without acting as if I’m convincing you, of course.”
“I can’t decide if you’re the dumbest dude on the planet for admitting that or the smartest.”
“I’m an excellent closer. You know that yourself.” I shrugged, hoping the gesture didn’t look as jerky as it felt. Truth be told, acting overly confident about this situation was the only way I’d been able to gear myself up to ask her in the first place.
I was okay with her thinking I was nuts. I was even okay with her saying no. What I wasn’t okay with?
Her pulling away from me because I’d officially moved out of the stress-free friend zone into the realm of one more man who wanted something from her. I did, but I wanted to give as much back.
As much as she would let me.
“Closing is one thing. Your openers, however, suck.” Ally leaned across the table and gripped my wrist, twisting my arm toward her so she could see the time as she’d done a million and one times before.
Normally, I barely paid attention. But apparently asking her to have my baby had subtly changed the ions and molecules in the air between us, because the brush of her fingers on the back of my hand made my balls clench. My spine locked as I fought not to draw back my hand.
But she noticed that I tensed. Of course she did. She was as perceptive as the damn cat I’d nicknamed her for years ago. “So what, you want to knock me up but I can’t touch you now? You’re all about that petri dish action, aren’t you? You don’t want to come right out and admit it, but that’s what your goal is.” She let out a whooshing breath as if I’d just handed her the winning lotto numbers. “You just want to inseminate me. Okay. Better. I’m not saying yes, of course. Still, even considering that you actually thought that we…that we could…is ridiculous.”
Leaning for
ward, I snagged her fingers where they lay on the tabletop, holding firm when she tried to snatch them back. “That we could what?”
Her gaze darted everywhere but never landed on me. “You know quite well. Can you let go of me now, please? I need to get back to work.”
I only tightened my hold as I leaned across the table. She didn’t shrink back. Far from it. Her maple syrup eyes—all those rich hues of gold and brown—flashed and locked onto mine. “That we could what, Ally?” I asked again, voice low.
Suddenly it was vitally important she answer me. That I hear her say the words, to solidify the reality of it happening in my head. Because it was sure as fuck real according to what was going on in my jeans.
“So we could have, you know, sex.” She spoke so fast that I lessened my grip a fraction and she yanked free, popped to her feet, and grabbed hold of the folder containing the contract.
Both of them.
Though she didn’t know about the second one yet. I hadn’t gotten that far.
I started to lean toward her to snatch it back, then paused. Hmm.
Maybe it was better she read the contract on her own. Seeing it all in print might work to allay her fears. It wasn’t as if I was asking her to let me breed her and marry her and lock her away forever in my tower. It was just a simple exchange between friends. No romantic relationship, but a pleasant, mutually satisfying one. She would give me something I wanted, and I would give her something she would never ask for but deserved.
Hell, I’d be happy to offer her the money right now on the spot, no strings attached, but she would never take it. So instead I’d made it a condition of our bargain. All neat and tidy and written down.
A wise businessman pivoted with changing conditions. And I was nothing if not my father’s son.
“Too slow,” Ally said, her confidence returning as she clutched the folder to her chest. “Better work on those reflexes of yours, Hamilton. Think you’re getting old.”
“Thanks for bringing that point up. Sit again for another moment.” I inclined my chin toward the opposite side of the booth.
She sighed and sat sideways on the seat, balancing the folder on her knees far from my reach. “Finally reconsidering this insanity? I knew if you took a moment to just think, you’d realize this is insane. Just because Laurie wants a sibling it isn’t a reason to be rash.”
“Rash. Right.” I stirred my now ice-cold coffee and dropped the spoon into the saucer. “She’s told you too?”
“She’s told everyone. When I picked her up at school last week, Mrs. O’Connor mentioned it to me. She had this idea that I was your girlfriend.” Shaking her head, Ally smoothed a hand over that green Hamilton Realty folder that held the power to change both of our lives. “Ridiculous.”
“So you keep saying. Ridiculous you’d be my girlfriend, ridiculous I’d want to fuck you to make a baby.”
Her eyes flared wide before she slapped the folder on the table. “Keep your damn voice down. You know how this place is with gossip. If the wrong person hears that, they’ll think you actually want to…do that.”
My frustration level spiked, and laughing was the only thing I could do to alleviate it. Along with grabbing hold of the back of my neck to rub out a particularly pesky set of knots.
Not the only thing I wanted to rub out, but that wasn’t going to be occurring at the diner. Probably. Unless she pushed me to untold lengths.
“Newsflash. I do want to do that. I want to spread you out on my bed and fuck you until you’re so full of me it’s spilling out of you. And then, just for good measure, I want to roll you over and do it again.” Her lips trembled apart and I placed a finger over them. “But no, I don’t want a girlfriend. I want you to have my baby, and I want it to be a good, positive thing for both of us. Unconventional, yes, but then we’ve always been that, haven’t we?” I rose, unable to deny that I enjoyed looming over her while her big brown eyes tracked my movements.
“Seth,” she whispered.
Her usage of my actual name instead of some insult said volumes.
“The second contract,” I said lightly, pulling out my wallet to leave a wad of bills on the table. Far more than my coffee and tip should cost, but I always tipped excessively, especially at the diner. “Call me when you’ve had a chance to read it.”
Slipping on my sunglasses, I headed toward the door. I could feel her heavy stare on my back. And knew she would probably flip open the folder to scan the contents before the door shut behind me with a cheerful tinkle of bells.
I’d made it up the street to my Mustang and was just about to open the driver’s door when my cell vibrated in the pocket of my jeans. I pulled it out and answered her call without reading her name.
It could only be one person. The one who held a good chunk of my dreams and my future in her strong, capable, ringed hands.
“Hi there,” I said, keeping my voice pleasant. Even with my aviator sunglasses, I still had to shield my eyes from the angle of the sun glinting off the lake directly in front of me. “That didn’t take you long.”
I heard a hiss that I guessed might be running water then the sound disappeared. “You told another human being about this crazy plan?”
“I told my lawyer. Whether or not he’s actually human is up for debate, but most people seem to think he qualifies.”
“The last hope I had was that this was another one of Seth’s wild schemes. You know, like when we put the top down on your convertible and drove up to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls on senior skip day without any ID. All because you woke up that day and wanted to do something fun.”
“And you thought I’d ask you to make a baby the same way.” I nodded, inhaling a deep breath of water-tinged air. “Sure. I can see now why you’re hesitating. If you think I’d view those two events the same way, no wonder you aren’t inclined to say yes.”
“But you laid all of it out in these papers.” She lowered her voice until I had to strain to hear her over the gentle lap of the water against the sea wall. “You want me to get pregnant, and you want to pay me for my baby. Like I was some broodmare.”
“A chicken and a broodmare. Nice to know how you see yourself.”
“How I see myself? Um, no. That’s all you, bucko.”
I nearly smiled. I would have if this wasn’t so important. “I want to pay you for your time. The gestation period is lengthy, and the change in your lifestyle for that period is worth compensation.”
“So you keep saying,” she said, sounding shriller by the minute.
“Which brings me back to the reason I asked you to sit down again in the diner. I was knocked off-course, but you’ve reminded me once again. Age. You’re twenty-eight. Egg validity is an important concern.”
“Egg what?”
“Validity. Once a woman nears thirty, her eggs start becoming—”
“Dude, you did not just call my eggs old. You’re fucking lucky you walked out when you did because if you were still here, I’d slap you until you came to your senses.”
“You’d be slapping me for a while then, because I’ve thought a lot about this. It’s a sensible idea, and once you take some time to calm down and think, I have a feeling you’ll agree. College is expensive, and this way you’ll be covered. Any school you like,” I reminded her. “And Laurie will have that sibling we both know she desperately wants.”
“Cheap shot,” she said in an undertone. “Using that little girl to get your way is the lowest of lows. But I should expect nothing else from a fabled Hamilton, now should I?”
Wincing, I gripped the phone tighter. “Wait. That didn’t come out right. I meant—”
She’d already ended the call.
Immediately, I called her back, but it went straight to voicemail. I braced my elbow on the roof of my car and shut my eyes, hearing her pained voice on repeat in my head.
Hating every second.
“Fuck,” I muttered, stepping back and yanking open my door.
Maybe I wouldn’t
have to worry about her saying no. God knows I’d bungled this situation in every possible way. And I might have screwed up more than just my slim chances of her agreeing to my plan.
I might have just lost my best friend too.
Three
Ally
I stared at the ceiling and frowned at the watermark in the corner. Had that been there before? I covered my face with my arms and pulled my knees up to my chest as I stretched out my back.
I’d been on the floor for the last ten minutes. Mostly because my furniture was either packed or sold off. If the ten-dollar college student special counted as sold anyway.
My day had started at five in the morning to open the diner, then I’d gone right to my—no, not mine anymore. The house. Now the only thing familiar were the ghostly shapes from my mother’s old medical equipment on the battered hardwood.
Hospice had come to collect them last month and I hadn’t had the heart to come back into her space since then.
I held my hand up to catch the speckled bits of sunlight that peeked from the trees surrounding this corner of the house. Dust motes danced through the fading rays as I dropped my arms over my knees to pull them closer.
My body ached almost as much as my head. Between the long hours at the Rusty Spoon and packing up the house, I hadn’t had time to do anything more than fall on my face in sheer exhaustion. Lather-rinse-and-repeat.
Okay, so maybe some of it was to avoid thinking about Seth’s question.
Because if I was so tired I was blind, I didn’t have to re-read the two-page contract that he had tucked behind my tentative house sale contract.
I released my knees and sprawled out on the floor spread eagle. What the hell had he been thinking?
I was obviously going to say no. There was no way I could contemplate having his baby for a college education. First of all, paying me to be his broodmare was archaic. Second, I couldn’t survive it.
Simple as that.
My nipples hardened and I crossed my arms over my chest. See? I couldn’t even think the words sex and Seth and not react. The fact that my body wasn’t cooperating with my firm no was getting really annoying.
