by Taryn Quinn
No. Just the one.
Which I’d gotten free at a bar some time ago, but whatever.
I thought it was good to be prepared. Wasn’t sure if you’d want to go for the gold yet. Thought you might want to practice first.
The look he gave me after reading my words sent a jolt of pure arousal through me. Especially since he didn’t look away as he wrote out his response.
Oh, I want to practice. Over and over. But every time I want to be dripping out of you like I was this afternoon.
I clutched the pen and breathed. Honestly, that was all I was capable of for about thirty seconds.
You’re saying that stuff with your dad and brother two feet away? Don’t you have any shame?
I nudged the pad at him and he grabbed it up fast enough that he tore the edge of the page.
Oh yeah, I do. Notice I haven’t thrown you on this table yet and fucked you right here? Trust me, that’s a feat.
He started to push the notepad back then took it again before I could.
You keep licking your lips and looking at me and looking away, and I know what all those signs mean. You want it too. Want me.
I read his words and debated a comeback. They were what we exchanged. Always, over everything. Rarely serious, always messing around and antagonizing each other. That was our way.
Telling the truth was so much harder.
Duh.
Okay, I didn’t say it was a reveal worthy of Dr. Phil, just that it resembled honesty. Hesitantly, I slid the pad back to him.
He laughed. Just sat there laughing at me, or with me—hell, maybe at us—and I laughed too, because he wasn’t the only one who was ridiculous. We both were.
For a moment, he just stroked the pen. That shouldn’t have been sensual, but somehow it was. When he started to write, I inched forward on my seat, too eager to see his message to wait until he passed it back.
Skype tonight?
I nodded and he wrote more.
Naked Skype?
I shook my head, smiling faintly.
Maybe a still or two?
I bit my lip, pretending to think it over.
For sustenance during toddler party planning.
“Maybe,” I mouthed, knowing I’d probably send him any naughty pictures he wanted. Even if I blushed the whole time.
This was Seth. I didn’t have to worry he’d upload the pictures on the internet or do anything sketchy with them. We could have the world’s biggest fight and never speak to each other again and I’d never have to worry about that. He was a decent, honorable guy.
So why I had been so sure he just wanted me for my eggs? It was as if I’d read that stupid contract and forgotten everything that had come before.
But God, I couldn’t forget what had come since.
He smiled and scribbled a single word on the pad before nudging it back.
Tonight.
He kissed his fingertip and pressed it to the back of my hand before sliding out of the booth. The gesture was so sweet, I sat there dazed while he said goodbye to his family and loped out of the diner, every one of his long-legged strides doing something funny to my belly.
Oliver got up to go to the bathroom and I tucked away my notepad. Might as well wait to take notes when I spoke to Seth. I grabbed my book and my purse and was about to take off when Mr. Hamilton turned in the booth to smile at me. But it was the expression of a shark who scented blood.
Mine.
“It’s never going to happen, you know.” He stretched his arm along the back of the booth. “You’ve played a long game, but he’ll never settle down with you.”
My spine locked and I gripped my well-loved book until the pages crinkled. “I think you have me confused with your son’s ex-wife. I don’t play games.”
Except wasn’t that exactly what I was doing? Pretending I wasn’t in love with Seth. That I could have a baby with him and we’d still be friends and everything would be hunky-dory.
Having a baby together was a life changer. A friendship changer. What would our new reality look like on the other side?
“No? I bet Laurie’s mother would have something to say about that.”
Not Seth’s ex-wife. Laurie’s mother. Another reality I didn’t like to face. That little girl didn’t just belong to him. She had a mother out there, and whether or not she’d been paid to split—and had accepted that payment—she could come back anytime. Rules were made to be broken. Contracts made to be ripped up.
Bonds meant to be rebuilt.
“Laurie’s mother’s feelings have nothing to do with me. Now if you’ll excuse me…”
“No? She knew you would always be between her and her husband and she grew tired of second place.” Mr. Hamilton shifted back to face forward, adding over his shoulder, “Laurie not having her mother around is on you.”
Oliver approached the table as I stared at the back of his father’s head. Seth’s twin hadn’t returned to his own table, he’d come to mine.
“Hey, Al, you know next time you don’t have to whisper—” Oliver stopped and frowned. “Are you all right? You’re shaking.”
“Fine. I’m fine.” I started to slide out of the booth, but he halted my movement with a hand on my arm. “Don’t touch me,” I snapped.
He immediately drew back. “Okay. I won’t touch you. Do you need a ride somewhere?”
“Oliver,” Mr. Hamilton barked, but his son didn’t pay him any mind.
“I’m fine. Really. I just need some air. I think I’m getting the flu or something.” I attempted to get out of the booth and this time, Oliver let me pass.
My mistake was glancing up into his dark eyes, so familiar and so foreign at the same time. They matched Seth’s in color and shape, though not in feeling. Not in humor or mischief.
No one was like Seth. And maybe that did make me a game-player, because I’d been lying all this time. To myself most of all.
Now I wasn’t the only one without a mother. Laurie was too. I wasn’t dumb enough to completely believe what Mr. Hamilton had said, but if any part of it was true, it was too much.
Swallowing hard, I sidestepped Oliver and hurried out of the diner.
Twelve
Seth
My day was going to consist of chaperoning twenty-plus four-year-olds—and a three-year-old or two—and instead of drinking beforehand as any other intelligent father would be doing, I was again trying to bathe my daughter. Without success.
“I thought boys were the ones who didn’t like to take baths,” I muttered as Laurie gripped the edge of the bathroom door with both hands so she couldn’t be nudged any farther into the bathroom.
“Ally,” she said again. At this point, it was starting to become a chant.
“She’ll be here in a little while. Wouldn’t you like to be all dressed in your pretty party dress for her? She’s so excited to see it on you.”
Since the only reason Laurie even had a new party dress to wear was because of Ally taking pity on us and coming shopping with us last weekend, I’d wanted Laurie to be ready when Ally showed up. But naturally, my willful child was not having that. God forbid I demonstrate my competency at parenting even once per month.
Hell, per year at this rate.
“Wait for her.” Laurie changed tact and decided to push the door shut, effectively shoving me into the hallway. I slammed a hand on the wood, halting her efforts. It wasn’t much of a victory, considering she was four and all, but hey.
“If you want to take a bath by yourself, fine. I’ll wait out here. But you have to start now. Your friends will be coming over soon and we can’t wait for Ally. She might be late.”
Or not come at all.
I didn’t truly think she’d bail on Laurie’s party. There was no denying Ally had been weird lately. Our Skype session had definitely gone in a surprising direction, though she’d still helped to plan Laurie’s party.
Forget helped. She’d asked all the questions and made most of the phone calls to make it happen. T
hat was my girl. She got things done.
Even if she didn’t have nearly as much to say to me anymore.
Ever since I’d presented her with that contract—that was now collecting dust in my desk drawer where it belonged—she’d been…off. That was probably understandable, since it involved a big life change. And seeing her best friend in a different light, yadda, yadda. Then there was the girl processing thing she’d mentioned.
And she’d been a virgin.
Fuck, I’d been the only man to ever have her. Still couldn’t believe it.
I shut my eyes. I was not getting an erection right now. Just was not gonna happen.
Moving on.
We’d been on a damn rollercoaster since that day. Having sex definitely represented the highs. We’d been together another two times over the past week, which wasn’t exactly optimal for pregnancy-achievement, but I was rolling with her schedule. She claimed she was busy. That was the same reason she gave for never staying for more than a few minutes afterward. A couple of nights ago, I’d made the mistake of falling asleep after we’d christened the couch.
Unsurprisingly, I’d awakened alone.
Most of the time, she was oddly quiet and not as eager to toss back her usual zingers. The one place she was uninhibited was in bed. Or against the wall, since that seemed to be our favored spot. We hadn’t actually done it in a bed again since the first time. I also hadn’t been able to lift her legs in the air again. That was all right. I was just as happy keeping my cock inside her until she squirmed. I was all about improvising.
“You stay out.” A thud against the door indicated my little girl was leaning against it. Apparently, shoving me into the hall wasn’t enough of a signal. She wanted me to get the message loud and clear.
Ally—awesome.
Daddy—major suck.
“The door needs to stay cracked if you’re getting in the tub. And you are getting in the tub, Lauren Elizabeth.”
The cry on the other side of the door surprised me less than the windy sigh and tap of heels. “This again?”
I turned to see Ally marching down the hall toward me, once again in heels, her hair up in some complicated knot thing and her dress…
Fuck, her dress was like sheer gauze or something. A pale lilac wrap that hugged her curves and made me harder than the wood my daughter was currently pounding against.
“Front door was unlocked.”
“Mmm.” I couldn’t currently speak, and from Ally’s little smirk, she knew what her outfit was doing to me. This wearing dresses thing of hers was all new.
I fucking loved it.
“Down, boy,” she said, pressing her knuckles against my chest as she grabbed the bathroom doorknob with her other hand. “Laurie, honey, it’s Ally. Can I come in?”
Moving quickly, I snaked my hand into the back of her hair and yanked her mouth to mine. I had to. There wasn’t any conscious thought involved. She drove me to a point no other woman had before.
Some kind of fruity lip gloss mixed with cherry cola hit my senses and I slipped my tongue inside, already desperate for more. She moaned, her hand curling in to fist my shirt.
And Laurie opened the door.
Gotta say one thing about my daughter catching me kissing Ally—it stopped her tears. Immediately. Instead, she started to giggle. She slapped her hands over her face as I drew back, not looking at Ally because I knew she’d be giving me that accusatory glare she’d patented in tenth grade.
Nice job, Hamilton. You fucked up again.
I cleared my throat. “Ally’s here.”
Laurie giggled more.
Ally swept in the bathroom and lifted Laurie onto her hip. That caused the wrap dress to shift and bunch in ways that had me shifting and bunching like a motherfucker.
I turned away. Christ. I’d need a cold shower myself if I didn’t find a distraction.
Watching Ally with my kid wasn’t going to work either. It might slow my roll sexually, but seeing them together churned me up in a different way altogether. Made me think impossible things. Like maybe we didn’t have to be friends who had a baby. Maybe we could be more. A couple. For real. With two children, instead of one.
A fucking family.
“Were you giving your dad a hard time again?” Ally swept Laurie’s sweaty blond hair back from her brow. “Today’s your big party. You don’t want the birthday fairy to hide all your presents.”
I winced. Laurie was half and half on believing such things. If she decided you weren’t telling the truth, she was apt to call you a big fat liar.
Delicate, my child was not.
“Birthday fairy?” Laurie screwed up her mouth and looked at me. “Daddy?”
I pointed at myself. “Are you asking if I’m the birthday fairy? Or asking if I know the birthday fairy?”
“Both. Real?” she demanded.
Ally sent me a secret smile over Laurie’s head and I would’ve sworn this was her form of payback for having the softest, fullest lips I’d ever kissed.
“Ally is the birthday fairy, know why?” I took advantage of Laurie’s curiosity to once again step foot into the bathroom. “She’s the one who made your party as magical as it’s going to be today. But you won’t get to enjoy it if you’re not clean. Dirty girls don’t get to play with their friends.”
Laurie sighed and tugged on one of Ally’s brown curls that had come loose from her updo. In the light from the window, all the red highlights in her hair made it look as if it were streaked with fire.
Christ, I was barely a dude anymore. Anytime now, I’d whip out paper that curled at the edges and start composing sonnets about the wonder of a summer’s morn.
Or Ally’s pussy, which probably meant I wasn’t quite ready to give up my man card yet.
“You do my bath?” she asked.
Ally stroked Laurie’s hair. “You sure you don’t want Daddy to do it? Or he can stay with us. How about that?”
Laurie shook her head and stuck out her lower lip, her most common expression these days.
I sighed. “I have to get the grill started anyway. Whose idea was it for me to feed hamburgers and hot dogs and veggie burgers to twenty kids and their parents, anyway?”
“Yours. I mentioned catering. You said you could handle a little grilling. That it was your manly duty.” Ally hid her smile in Laurie’s blond hair.
“I said nothing about my manly duty. Just that I like grilling.”
“So go grill then. We’ve got it under control.” Ally shifted Laurie in her arms, tipping her upside down until she squealed. “Don’t we, shortcake?”
“Yes!”
“Okay then. I can tell when I’m not wanted.” I turned in the doorway. “No bubbles this time though. It has to be a quick bath. Your friends will be here soon, and you don’t want me entertaining them.”
“Why not? You’re so good at playing horse.”
I narrowed my eyes at Ally. “Yeah, and if I throw out my back, guess who’ll be rubbing it later?”
Ally took long enough to reply that I wondered if what I’d said was more sexually explicit than I’d intended. Especially since Laurie was glancing between us as if we were the most fascinating people ever.
She’d definitely never seen us kiss before. A hug here or there, a playful shove, sure. But anything resembling making out, absolutely not.
“That’s what you think,” Ally finally responded. “I’d suggest you invest in some Icy Hot, pal.”
“I’m going to start the grill,” I muttered, deciding my best place was far away from where I could somehow scar my impressionable daughter. I might be tempted to kiss Ally’s smart mouth again and then Laurie might end up in psychotherapy years later because I couldn’t control my hormones.
When they finally came downstairs, the first wave of dogs and patties were on the grill and I’d already fielded two phone calls from crazed parents who were having issues of their own rounding up their kids. One of Laurie’s preschool classmates and her little brother wer
e both attending the party, and their frantic Mom had called to commiserate about trying to get them ready. I’d figured she was just explaining why they’d be late until she asked me out after making a DILF joke.
I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that among many women of childbearing age, I was considered something of a prize. An employed man who was willingly parenting his child singlehandedly—though not necessarily with any skill—was basically a unicorn, except my horn was in my pants. And many of them wanted to ride it.
Usually, I managed to divert conversations away from the topic of dates, or finding a good woman to settle down with. I must’ve been off my game today because this one had broadsided me and I’d ended up fumbling through an excuse and basically hanging up on her.
I didn’t have an answer why I couldn’t go out with her. Technically, Ally and I had no rules. No arrangement that precluded either of us from seeing anyone else. We were friends who were fucking and trying to have a baby. There was no box to tick on Facebook for that one. Even “it’s complicated” didn’t begin to touch the reality of our existence.
But I didn’t want to date anyone else. And I sure as fuck didn’t want Ally to. Ever.
“There’s Daddy. Wait ‘til he sees you in your pretty, sparkly dress.” Ally’s voice carried out to me.
When she stepped out on the deck, carting my daughter in her arms, the inane thoughts in my head spewed out. “What does your Facebook status say?” I demanded, as if it was the most important question in the world.
Ally shifted Laurie in her arms. “What? Look at her dress,” she commanded.
Laurie’s grin tilted precariously. And her big blue eyes filled with tears.
Ah, fuck.
“Look at you in your beautiful dress,” I said, setting down my spatula to step toward them. I reached for Laurie but she pushed out a hand, nudging me back. With her other hand, she clung to Ally’s neck and buried her face in her chest.
The look Ally gave me was mutinous.
I stroked a hand over Laurie’s curling wet hair. She burrowed more into Ally. “You look like a princess, honey. All these purple sparkles.”
She didn’t reply. Ally just glared.
