by Shay Violet
I replace the key gently back on the surface of the vanity. “Sorry. This is all just so… new.”
Claire gives me an earnest smile. “I think you should give yourself more credit. You will fit in exceptionally here.”
I step closer to her. “Do you think so?” Excitement and adrenaline pump through my veins.
“Of course, dear,” she says and gestures around the room. “I trust this room will be to your liking?”
I laugh. “Are you kidding me? It exceeds my expectations. It's way too much…”
“Nonsense.” Claire frowns and her forehead wrinkles. She gives me a wink to encourage me. “You deserve all the luxurious amenities that money can buy.”
“I do?” I cock my head to the side and give her an inspecting glance. I don’t know her. Why would she assume that I deserve this? She doesn’t know anything about me.
Her gaze locks with mine and it fills me with warmth. Claire has a maternal way about her that makes me feel safe and comfortable.
“Dealing with the little princess, otherwise called Nadia, isn’t exactly…” she trails off as if trying to find the diplomatic way of finishing the sentence, “easy.”
“How do you mean?” I shift my weight and study her.
Claire’s face sinks in melancholy. Her bottom lip sticks out, almost to a pout. “Nadia—she hasn’t been the same.” Her eyes well with tears and she gives me a puppy dog gaze. “Not since her mother died.”
“My heart aches for her,” I say. “My mother was a single mom. Life was sometimes hard for us.” I glance around the room. “These luxurious things—I can’t say that I’m used to being treated like a queen.”
Claire smiles and edges closer. “Well, get used to it.”
“Sometimes life throws you a bone, huh?” I chuckle.
“Absolutely.” Claire nods robustly in agreement. “Nadia is such a sweet little girl. You will love taking care of her.”
I nod. “So far, we seem to have a great connection.”
“That’s why Mr. Jai hired you,” she says. “He is great at reading people’s energy.”
At the mention of Jai, I feel a wave of heat. I look away and pretend to focus on something out the window. I don’t want Claire to notice how flustered the thought of Jai makes me and in the most exceptional way possible.
“If you can bring Nadia out of her shell, then that’s worth more than money could ever buy,” Claire states from behind me.
I turn around, confident now that I’m composed. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
Claire’s laughter makes an adorable tinkling sound. “You’ll be whistling a different tune by the end of the day, trust me, my dear.”
I should smile at her humorous comment, but I feel blanketed by the immense pressure. I’ve never taken care of a kid before. It’s no secret though. Jai hired me regardless.
She must notice my unraveling nerves because she gives me an endearing look. “Don’t feel overwhelmed. It won't be as hard as you probably imagine.”
“I just feel like I’m being pulled in a hundred directions at once,” I blurt out.
I feel comfortable enough with Claire to open the gates of full disclosure with her, even though she’s virtually a stranger, she doesn’t feel like one.
“The best anyone can do is try and not fret over any of it. Think about it.” Her lips stretch into an inviting grin. “Worrying never solves anything. It’s a waste of energy.”
She shrugs indifferently. I respect her advice and I know she’s right. I peel back the curtain and stare out the window. The rain has stopped, and nightfall is drifting closer suburbia.
“You’ve already done a lot more than you know,” Claire says. “Nadia is thrilled to have you in her life.”
“Thank you,” I say. “Your words are so kind.”
There’s a twinkle in Claire’s eye. “I will leave you alone to get acquainted with your room and to unpack. Dinner is at eight.” She eyes me up and down with concern. “You should relax because tomorrow will be a big day.”
I inhale sharply and slowly draw out the breath. “Thanks. I’ll heed that advice right now.”
I roll my suitcase to the bed and tuck it neatly underneath. I plop down on the bed with a sigh, exhausted and ready to take it for a test spin. The mattress yields to my weight immediately. It feels like a cloud underneath me and I can’t wait to sink into it later for a blissful sleep.
As soon as Claire departs the room and gently closes my bedroom door behind her, I take a moment to call one of my best friends, Bella. I trust Bella’s judgment. I was the live-in, full-time nanny for Nadia, but now it’s time to spill the beans and absorb any token of advice that Bella can give me. I have the urge to dish on everything. Fingers crossed that if Bella approves, I’ll know that I’m on the right track.
When Bella answers the phone, I start at the beginning, catching her up to speed on everything since meeting Nadia in the park on my bike.
“I’m so happy for you,” Bella declares.
I relax and lay down on the bed as I gaze up at the gorgeous tray ceiling. I rest my arm behind my head and grin.
“Are you sure? You aren’t just saying that?”
“Why would I lie to you?” Bella asks.
“True. You never have lied before,” I say and then add, “that I know of.”
I can practically hear Bella rolling her eyes through the phone. “You know I’m the most loyal person in your life.”
“I’ll drink to that,” I affirm. “Next time we go out.”
“Besides,” Bella says, and I hear that mischievous tone brimming in her voice.
I know she’s already on her way to saying something artful. With Bella, there are no boundaries. She professes her opinion. If you don’t like it, then that’s your own problem.
“What is it now?” I groan playfully.
“It sounds like you and Mr. Prince have a little sparky-spark going on,” she declares.
I scoff, but it sounds more like an exaggerated squeak. “Jai and I. No.”
I strongly shake my head. “There’s nothing going on between us, believe me.” It’s hard for me to say it with conviction when I don’t even believe myself.
“Would it be so terrible to have a rich stud after your heart?” Bella suggests.
She’s not one to fold on a spirited debate, but neither am I.
“He’s not after my heart,” I quickly retort.
“I’m losing another friend to a fairy tale romance,” Bella teases.
I don’t take the bait of her joke. “There’s nothing between me and Jai.”
“Where’s my handsome sheikh to come and sweep me off my feet?” Bella drones with a feigned southern drawl.
“You’re insane,” I say with a chuckle.
“I won’t deny that,” Bella reports, “but the jury is still out on whether you will fall in love with your Arabian prince.”
“He’s not from Arabia,” I quip, but I’m just trying to change the subject from me and Jai. Truth be told, I have no idea where he’s from.
In the private crevices of my mind, I secretly internalize Bella’s assumption and try to rationalize whether she’s full of bologna or actually onto something here. She knows me better than anyone. She might pick up signs as an interested third party that I’m not able to process yet on the inside.
I mentally admit that sure, I like Jai. I will admit that he’s handsome, and charming, and sexy, and all the other adjectives to describe a catch. Okay. So, I might have stronger feelings for him other than an employee to employer relationship, but it’s not like I can do anything about it.
It’s unlikely that a person of his status would ever be into me. He probably doesn’t think about me that way.
“He can’t seriously notice me on partner type of level,” I verbally profess.
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Bella always has a positive response to offer. “You are smart and incredibly beautiful.”
I smile, still g
azing up at the ceiling as dreams of a bright future filter in and out of my head.
“Well, I guess I might have felt a little buzz between us—”
“I knew it!” Bella shouts with excitement.
I laugh and cross my ankles, stretching out on the bed. Maybe I can get used to this.
“Let me finish. He gave me a ride home and when he did, his knee kept brushing up against mine. There might have been some sexual tension between us.”
I cringe and bite my bottom lip, waiting for Bella to respond.
When she says nothing, I feel like the quiet might kill me. “I might imagine it,” I say to fill the void of silence.
Bella sneezes, explaining the brief lapse in conversation. “Sorry,” she says, sounding out of breath. “Anyway, you aren’t just imagining things. You are always aware of everything going on around you. It’s a gift, Aurora. Take it and run with it. You can see people beyond the surface. He digs you. I know it and you know it.”
“Thanks,” I say. “You can be my relationship tutor, but I won't admit to mutual chemistry. Yet.”
“You don’t need relationship advice. Just follow your heart and do what comes naturally.”
“You are a great friend,” I tell her. “Never change.”
“I’m there for you through thick and thin,” she says. There’s not a single ounce of me that doubts her on that front.
I glance at the bedside clock. The red blinking numbers remind me that it will be time to go downstairs for dinner soon. I don’t know what kind of environment that will be, but I’m hoping for the best.
My stomach grumbles. “I better go. The lady who I think is the housekeeper told me that dinner is at eight.”
“Good luck,” Bella chimes. “You’ve got this, and I’ve got your back.”
“I know.” I smile and hang up, glancing around the room.
Well, this is my home now. I need to make the best of it and figure out a way to keep myself composed and professional and not like I’m unraveling with lust around Jai. It will be a challenge, but I’m ready to face the future with an optimistic outlook.
9
Jai
I push the garage door open that leads into the mudroom of my house. Claire is already standing in the center of the room with an enthusiastic smile stretched across her lips. She extends her arms.
“Let me take your jacket,” she says.
I feed the jacket into her arms. “Thanks.”
I crane my neck around the corner and then look at Claire. “How is Aurora adjusting?”
“She seems to be adapting well,” Claire mentions brightly.
“She likes her room?” I ask.
“much.” Claire nods.
I allow myself to unclench slightly. “Good.” So far, it pleases me that Claire has great news to report.
Claire leans in closer and whispers so that no one else might hear us in the near vicinity. She still has my jacket cloaked over her arm in a folded position.
“I think it’s wonderful that Aurora is here. I’m certain Nadia will be happy with her,” Claire confesses.
I nod, but my hands feel clammy and I have a nervous sensation brewing in my stomach. “I hope so,” I answer, still looking toward the kitchen but I don’t see any activity going on there.
“I think you picked a golden winner, sir,” Claire says with a sunny disposition and a dimple in her cheeks. “I’m referring to Aurora, naturally. Nadia can’t stop talking about her.”
“I’m sure she’ll be happy,” I nod approvingly, but inside, my stomach is still churning anxiously. Why am I so nervous about having Aurora as the new nanny? I feel a compelling need to impress her.
I let no one get to me like this. Aurora exerts a power over me I can’t explain. Maybe it’s not her physical presence that sends me into a nervous tailspin, but more her effect on me.
I’m nervous about the way she makes me feel, so warm and gooey on the inside like delicious chocolate that melts in my mouth.
I need to keep things professional for my daughter’s sake. I can never give in to my desire, no matter how compellingly forceful the lust gnaws at me. I need a distraction. I glance at Claire.
“Can you fetch Nadia for dinner?” I request, glancing at my watch.
It’s late to eat dinner in a traditional sense, but Nadia and I are far from the traditional family and we’ve never much conformed to the rules, even when my wife was around.
“Of course.” Claire casts me a respectful bow and spins to exit the room.
I take off my shoes and rest them on the floor beside the garage door. It’s not that I’m lazy and could take them to my room myself, but more the fact that it will keep Claire busy and give her something to do.
I pace around in the kitchen, trying to keep my thoughts busy but they keep doubling back to Aurora. It’s difficult for me to stop thinking about her. I’m not used to having these desperate feelings for a woman. I didn’t feel this connection or chemistry with my wife, and I knew her for far longer than I’ve known Aurora.
I haven’t felt this attracted to someone else in years, and maybe ever in my life. I’ve always been the serious type, focused on work and nothing else.
“Come on, Jai,” I mutter to myself. “You are above emotion and desire.
I walk over to the window and glance at the pool shimmering under the floodlights on the house. The reflection of the light casts a canary yellow glow over the water. The surface of the water is still and resembles glass.
“Daddy?” I hear the soft, angelic voice of Nadia behind me.
I swing around to face her. “Hi baby.”
I open my arms and crouch down to scoop her up. I wrap my arms around her little body and relish in the tender way my daughter squeezes me back with rare affection.
“How are you, sweetheart?” I pull away and assess my daughter.
She shrugs. Her eyes flicker dolefully. She gives me a glum stare. “I’m okay.”
She’s quiet as she stares blankly at the ground. I wish that there’s something I can do to rip the sadness from her. If I could absorb it all, I wouldn’t hesitate.
Nadia blinks and gazes up at me with her gorgeous, wide brown eyes. Her hair is a complete mess, with matted clumps and huge knots hanging askew. It looks like a bird attempted to make a nest in those strands.
My wife used to brush it for her. I know that is why Nadia doesn’t want anyone else to touch it and throws a fit when anyone attempts to do so.
I look at her and I’m plagued by an internal longing to be closer to Nadia. I am constantly searching for ways to establish a deeper connection to her, but it’s nearly impossible for me to scratch my way through the surface and dig out what’s underneath those sad eyes of hers.
I gently stroke her cheek, trying to link our souls together if only for a moment. I know that I’ve never meant much to Nadia. It’s my fault, I know that. I haven’t made enough of a concerted effort to be there for her when she needs me. My track record isn’t well polished. I know I don’t deserve to be held at high esteem, but I’m trying harder now.
I wish that being a father came more naturally. Even in my most shining hour, I still feel like I’m too distant with Nadia. I don’t know what to say to fill the gap of silence between us. There’s an empty void that hangs in the air between us, and it’s dense.
Then, a light bulb flicks on in my head. I have just the ticket to boost Nadia’s mood.
“I have something exciting to tell you,” I offer.
Nadia peers at me skeptically. She’s cynical, and I can’t blame her. She’s used to receiving disappointment, but this time I’m confident that I can lighten the dimness inside the shadows of her world.
“What is it?” She asks.
“Do you remember Aurora?” I ask and then gauge her reaction to the mention of Aurora’s name.
Nadia’s facial expressions brighten immediately. “How could I forget? She was awesome.”
I chuckle. “I’m glad to hear t
hat, because she will be staying with us from now on.”
Nadia’s features shimmer like the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.
“Really Daddy? Is that the truth?”
Her little feet bounce up and down and she hops in place, gripping my hands.
“It’s the truth,” I announce, proud to be making progress with my daughter.
For once, she is excited about talking with me and curious about what I have to say.
She continues jumping up and down. Her unruly hair moves with every motion she makes, flopping about on top of her head.
“When can I see her?” She asks with an infectious grin that’s spread across her face like the Joker.
“She’s coming for dinner,” I advise, relishing in the glow of exhilaration that my daughter is exhibiting.
Her smile is euphoric. “Is dinner soon?”
“It’s now,” I reveal.
I can finally be the hero to uplift her situation and it feels amazing to have this control.
I love seeing my daughter’s face illuminated by pure joy. When I see the enhanced thrill in her lovely eyes, I know that I made the right decision to bring Aurora into our lives. My daughter is happier at this exact moment than she has been in six months. It’s like a drug for me to see her so full of glee.
I need to witness this behavior from Nadia more often. It feeds my soul with enough assurance that I’m doing something right in trying to raise her on my own.
Now, I just need to pluck out my restraint from deep inside myself and keep my temptation at bay in the best way I can. It will be hard to resist Aurora. My mind is constantly wandering, imagining slipping off her dress to expose her bra and panties, cupping my hands over her naked breasts while she moans softly in my ear.
“Daddy?” Nadia cuts through my thoughts. She’s peering up at me expectantly. “When is Aurora coming to dinner?”
I shake the sexy thoughts from my cloudy brain. The residue of lust still lingers behind, but it’s not as prominent as before.
“Uh… she’s already here, sweetheart,” I say to Nadia.
“She is?” She wrinkles her nose the way she does when she’s confused about something. I find it an adorable trait that suited her.
