‘Hallo, who’s that?’
‘It’s me, mother, your son,’ he said–that was the only time when he actually found it hard to utter these words.
‘My dear son, is it really you? Where are you, I want to see you, when are you coming home? We can’t wait to see you here, in Moscow,’ his mother uttered the words with joy and excitement. It was difficult even for a man of his status to handle such a conversation.
‘I want to know if you’re doing all right. That’s what matters for now,’ the Russian inquired briefly.
‘Yes, I’m all right, everything’s fine, I’m just waiting to see you.’
‘That won’t be possible in the near future. I’m going on a mission, I promise we’ll see right after I get back. Don’t be sad, everything’s perfectly fine with me!’ he assured his mother and made her a promise he was not sure he could keep, but was there anything else he could do . . .
‘Good, I’ll be waiting, but whenever you get a chance, do let me hear your voice.
‘Should I have one, consider it done. Goodbye for now,’ the Colonel answered, acting manly and not allowing his emotions to overwhelm him.
‘Goodbye, son, I hope everything turns out all right.’
That was the end of the conversation.
Maria knew nothing about the numerous missions her son went on. All she was aware of was that he got dispatched here and there every now and then. Maybe it was better this way, worry had the power to kill and a mother would feel excessive worry if she knew that her child could be in danger. Not to mention how a wife would feel . . .
Shortly after that conversation came a slightly embarrassing moment. Four hours before the launch Zanev returned to the base. Everyone was waiting for him while some were even angry with the irresponsibility of the head of the mission. He, too, had left the previous day to go for a walk and to take care of one last thing . . . Staying at the same place, unable to maintain contact with any of his closest people, away from home and entertainment, in an isolated environment made Roman ask himself dozens of questions. The decisions he took as a result were hardly to the taste of everyone else, but despite that he considered them the right ones to make.
The evening when everyone went out in an attempt to clear their heads from all the ado around the project and from the burden resting on their shoulders, he set off for Berlin, running the risk of coming back later than the appointed hour, to see his wife, Nina, and taking advantage, just like Mila, of one of the base’s airplanes. That evening, right at midnight, he was sitting in a black car, driven by his personal chauffeur, outside his house. His wife knew about his arrival long before he came. She felt miserable while he was gone, so she organized a gathering in his honor. His children and grandchildren gathered together, waiting for him with open arms. Only family members were invited, friends were not part of the plan. Nina knew that her husband felt sad in the absence of his children and their families. The black car drove away and left Roman at the head of the driveway. He headed for the doorbell, but before he made to press it, the door opened and Mrs. Zaneva threw herself at him and showered him with hugs and kisses. The Professor was fairly happy to get such a welcome and returned the gesture. Just what a joy the Russian felt when he stepped over the threshold and saw the entire family gathered around the table! All of the Zanevs. The children were playing, running around and the adults were laughing and having fun while they were eagerly waiting for him.
‘And here our dad comes! We’ve been waiting for you for a long time, come, sit with us,’ his youngest son, Oleg, urged as he was sitting closest to the door so he could empty his chair first.
They hugged each other and sat at the table. Roman’s parents-in-law, his brother Ivan Zanev and even his little grandchildren instantly took up still stances at the table and expressed their joy to see him. Even his father who was sitting at one corner of the table anticipated his arrival–that was the old Mikhail Zanev who everyone honored as the oldest member of the family. Only his eldest son was not present as he was giving a hand at the dinner preparation. But soon after he, too, entered the room with a tray loaded with appetizers and hors d’oeuvres. He approached the table.
‘Oh, dad, you came home!’ he exclaimed. ‘Come give me a hug,’ he said, leaving the tray on the table and heading towards the seat his father occupied.
‘Dmitry, I’m so happy to see you, we haven’t seen each other for so long,’ the Russian scientist ejaculated, not concealing his emotions.
‘Well, papa, you know how it is, work requires the best of you. Let’s all sit at the table, there’s plenty to talk about, it’s been ages since the entire family’s last gathered together,’ answered the son and he launched into an ocean of talk, accounts and experiences, all interesting and exciting stories to share with the family circle. Everyone had something to boast about, even the little ones . . .
After the dinner half of the people around the table got out of their chairs and went puttering around the house: some decided to join the children and play with them, some visited the bathroom, others got out onto the porch to have a cigarette or to get a gulp of fresh air. The entire house was full of life and when most of the family settled back around the table to resume the eating and drinking so generously provided by the repast, two people lingered outside. Roman and his father who was 97, still healthy and completely independent (it was just that he had a certain need for the support of a cane, had patches of white hair here and there and was slower in his movements–the outcome of his old age) continued the conversation they had initiated earlier on.
‘How are you, son? So far we’ve talked about us, about the family, but you never said how you felt. Are you happy after all that you’ve accomplished and above all do you find your life fulfilled?’ asked the old founder of the Zanev family.
‘Yes, I have all that I’ve dreamt of along with the glory and recognition I received. I have wonderful children and grandchildren, job I’m proud of, a happy marriage and a beautiful house. I have everything, even you, old man,’ Roman replied, giving a little laugh.
‘You know, you and I are very much alike. When I was your age I was in excellent shape, too. Shortly before I retired I participated actively in the construction of the greatest solar power plant. I think I did perfectly as a chief engineer. You had just begun winning recognition in astronomy when I retired,’ Mikhail began diving into distant memories. ‘When I already had solid ground under my feet and they started entrusting me some of the largest and most exciting projects, which are to this day considered some of the most remarkable engineering achievements ever made, I was past fifty. Despite that I didn’t feel tired, nor did I have any need to stop, but I was plagued by bitter taste in the mouth–your grandparents had departed this world soon before that and their absence was deeply palpable. They had supported me all their lives and congratulated me with a “Bravo!” on all of my successes, but at that moment there was no one to pat me on the shoulder,’ he remembered the past moments of his life with grief. ‘I just want you to know that I’m proud of you and I’m happy I’ve lived long enough to see you in the light of your heyday. We live a little longer nowadays, but it doesn’t seem to be enough anyway. You have no idea how grateful I am to have the chance to witness the growth and progress of my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren,’ he concluded his confession with teary eyes. Roman went over to the old man and gave him a tight hug, something he had not done ever since he was a child.
‘You’re not alone in that because I’m awfully proud of you, too,’ the son responded.
They were both captured by feelings of sadness and tenderness towards the bygone times of their glorious paths. Roman was yet to display strength and skills, but his father was slowly approaching the twilight of his days . . . They stayed a while longer at the porch after the end of that manly conversation that no one got to know about, nor would anyone ever know. They shared a few moments of silence.
‘Let’s go back to the dining-room, that’s
your evening,’ Mikhail prompted after the pause. ‘I’m really proud of you,’ his father offered him some more words of encouragement and then slowly stepped into the house, propping himself up with the cane and followed by Roman.
The festive evening went on quickly and imperceptibly. At four thirty in the morning when everyone had gone to sleep, he could finally spend some alone time with his wife and share with her what tormented and agitated him palpably. At that moment she decided to clear the table and clean up thoroughly the mess left in the wake of the gathering.
‘Do you need help, Nina?’
‘No, thank you, I’m almost done. Wait for me in the living-room.’
‘All right, I’ll be waiting for you in front of the fireplace,’ he said. Roman went to the unlit fireplace and sat there, the weather outside was too pleasant to light the fire. Soon after his wife came, too, holding two glasses and sat down on the sofa, next to him, leaning on his shoulder.
‘Do you remember the last time we were here alone? You had just made your discovery and it took a few months to put us back together. It’s just that’s the weather is warm now. Time passes by and goes away,’ Nina remarked nostalgically.
‘Of course I do, I remember every single word of the conversations we’ve had on this very couch,’ Roman said smiling and kissed Mrs. Zaneva’s hair. ‘That, by the way, reminds me of something I wanted to tell you. Last time we spoke I told you that the driving force of my life had been exhausted and that I felt old. Well, I came back here in the skin of a new man. When you told me that being happy is a matter of choice, I interpreted it in my own way and decided to take some action.’ And then silence and the morning darkness heard what no married woman should ever hear. ‘I’ve decided to leave with the people I’m training so I can be of help to them,’ Those words fell like stones out of Zanev’s mouth and landed straight onto Nina’s heart. ‘I’ll fly away with them to give them a hand whenever they need one. I won’t meddle in their business,’ he tried to explain his intention, but Nina knew absolutely everything concerning his motivation as well as the details about the project and the hidden dangers it entailed.
Whatever good reasons he could advance to justify the cause he was fighting for, he could not escape hurting her. His wife did not want to believe what she heard so she averted her eyes. A lonely tear trickled down her care-worn face. Wrinkles had started to form on her otherwise well-preserved middle-aged visage. That was a sad scenario against the background of the dim lights in the room, but it had all already been decided. A few moments of embarrassing silence settled in. Then he went on presenting his arguments.
‘That’s what I wish to do, moreover I know that without me it will be a tall order for them. I can’t give up, there’s too much at stake when it comes to this project.’
His wife knew just how important that was for him. She knew he had invested every ounce of his time and energy in each discovery he had ever made. And how who he was formed part of what made up the hope for the survival of the human race. Nina could not tell him anything that would talk him out of leaving as that would be too egoistical of her. She calmed down a bit, brushed her tears away secretly, turned around to face her husband and uttered what were the hardest words in her life.
‘I understand. Strange as it might sound, I can’t and I won’t stop you. I want you to know that I’ll be very happy if that mission gives you the fulfillment you’re seeking. But I have to admit I’m against your going there and playing hero. Leave the young to fight for what they want to have. You’ve done enough. I can’t refute your assertions, I know. That’s why I want you to promise me something . . . ‘ The words of his life partner sounded like a mixture of anxiety and sorrow.
‘Tell me what it is, but I don’t know if it’ll be in my power to do it,’ he said, realistic as ever.
‘I want you to come back and if you can’t promise me you will, think well whether or not it’s safe to go anywhere in the first place!’ Zanev did accordingly, but since he could not find a satisfactory answer he decided to go with what he was thinking.
‘Even if I could explain to you why I’m doing it, I still wouldn’t be able to get across to you my internal passions. When you make such decisions it’s your heart, not your mind that erupts into it. Or at least that’s how it feels to me’, he said and looked at her with his calm gaze, not knowing how to put into words his burning desire to participate in the mission. Nina gave him a broad smile.
‘That’s why I love you so much–even when you don’t know the right way, you always look for it inside yourself. You find it and you follow it until you’ve made sure everything goes down as it should,’ Mrs. Zaneva said decidedly with tears in her eyes. She finally understood that her husband was happy despite the difficult decision she had to accept. Maybe her love resided in her desire for her better half to be happy. ‘If that’s so, I want you to go. Help them find themselves, too, apart from finding everything new there. Help them be remembered by history as heroes like you yourself,’ After hearing this Roman got jubilant and the two of them went to rest in the master bedroom. Few are the ones who have succeeded without the support and the understanding of their families and who have at the same time found fulfillment in life . . .
At last the big moment had come. All the efforts that had been devoted to the project during the previous weeks, months, even years were all going to merge into a single moment that had been anticipated for quite some time. The team of the Russian scientist was about to present a revolutionary travel technology–the cherry on the space exploration cake. A technology which defied the laws of physics.
The travel was to be carried out by a space shuttle. The two main thrusters were placed there. One of them controlled the short-distance maneuvering and travelling and could reach near the speed of light while the other, was the cutting edge of human ingenuity. Recently developed, it actually did not assist the advance in the three-dimensional space. Its creators called it a spatial manipulator as in its essence that technology did exactly that–manipulate space. It stretched the space behind the shuttle, pushing it away from the objects behind it, and shrank the space in front of the shuttle to draw it nearer to the close-up objects. An experiment had been conducted during a spacecraft travel, fitted with that innovation, which was enveloped in something like a balloon that protected it and facilitated its movement through cosmic matter. With this travel technology there was no distortion or any delay in the time flow, or at least so they said. At first glance it looked easy, but it was far from that. It even sounded somewhat frightening to lie at the mercy of technologies that made use of laws that contradicted the familiar reality. Everyone had gathered that day to see the launch of Iris 1. The event was broadcasted worldwide.
Shortly before they headed for the shuttle, the entire team that participated in the program gathered to clarify the final details. Roman did not want to keep them too long and tire them with one of his lectures. They had rehearsed the flight time and over again for months: the duration was known, the place and time of the arrival were determined, the way they were going to communicate while still in the tower’s range was clear. The Russian turned to the crew.
‘There’re two things I want you to remember. The first one is to obey Colonel Ivanov unconditionally since from now on you’re under his command. The other one is to have faith in yourselves. At this stage nothing else matters. It’s time for us to go and you’re probably wondering why I’m talking in first person plural,’ he smiled and quickly proceeded to answer the question. ‘It’s because I’ll be the seventh member of the crew. I’m afraid you won’t be able to make it without me.’ Shocked at the news the crew members exchanged glances, dismayed. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve undergone a medical examination, moreover you can take care of yourselves as well as of me. Let’s carry in the equipment and go,’ he concluded, thrilled.
After the last-minute news was announced some were surprised, others were displeased.
‘Are you sure that’s a good
idea?’ Liu and Hiroshi exclaimed at the same time. As experts in mechanics they were well aware that the travel would be a risk to someone his age.
‘Calm down! I passed all tests, besides you’ll need my help sorely. Over the last few months I occupied myself mainly with studying the place we’re going to, so let’s not waste more time and head for Iris 1.’
The seven astronauts had already climbed on board, they started setting the equipment and everybody was ready to set off for the unknown. In the meantime the maintenance personnel loaded about a dozen universal measuring devices, a few sondes and other research equipment. They were to help collect basic data about the planet. The crew did not forget the most important–the six fighting suits which they placed behind their seats in case of a possible emergency.
The airbase had provided them with a large launch pad and a distant place for the news teams and for the spectators. Hundreds of thousands of viewers and reporters had gathered to follow and cover one of the most important events in our contemporary history. The place was overcrowded, most of the spectators pushed their way forward, so they can get as close as they can to the shuttle and the specially built video walls. Only the people who were directly related to the mission had access to the front row of a one-story construction built as near to the shuttle as possible specifically for the occasion. The VIP guests numbered about 30; Konrad Radeberg was one of them. The other military officers and participants in the training were in the inner square of the base to which civilians had no access, but which offered a good view to the event. About twenty minutes before the launch a covered movable platform rolled the seven astronauts in.
Dawn of Hope- Exodus Page 10
