Despite his anger at the situation, he understood her concerns. “We’ll figure it out, but we can’t even do that because our relationship hasn’t extended outside of the fucking bedroom.”
“That’s because there isn’t anything to figure out,” she nearly yelled at him.
“I love you, Ella.” The words came tumbling out, and it nearly gutted him when he saw the pain in her eyes, when he didn’t hear the same response from her lips even though he knew she had to feel the same. “For ten long years, I’ve felt so empty inside, waiting to feel something again for another woman, and it never happened and you want to know why? Because you are the one, Ella. You will always be the one. Doesn’t that count for something? Anything?”
“I don’t know,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, her voice conflicted and confused. “I don’t know.”
“I want you in my life.” He couldn’t be more open and honest and straight-forward about that.
“This is my life,” she said, waving a hand in the air around her to indicate where she was and who she was with and where she would stay.
“No, this is the life you think you need to lead,” he said more firmly. “Out of a sense of obligation to your father. Because your sister isn’t around to help and you feel like it’s all on you to shoulder everything at the expense of your own happiness. What about you, Ella? What about what you want? What about your life and your future? When does any of that matter?”
She never had the opportunity to answer, because the rattling of the doorknob, then a loud knock on the door made them both freeze in place at the sudden interruption.
“Ella?” her father said from the other side, his voice gruff. “Who’s in your room with you and why is your door jammed shut?”
The panic that passed across Ella’s features was instantaneous. “No one’s here, Dad,” she said, holding Kyle’s gaze with a plea in her own for him to remain quiet.
“Ella, I heard loud voices. One distinctly male,” her father insisted, giving the door another push, but the stopper beneath the bottom made it impossible for him to get inside. “What’s going on in there?”
Ella never broke eye contact with Kyle. “Nothing,” she replied, forcing an airy quality to her voice that didn’t ring true, no matter how hard she was trying. “I’m just getting ready for bed.”
Kyle actually found irony in this moment. Three months of sneaking into this house to spend time with Ella, and tonight of all nights her father discovered them together. He hated Ella’s denial, that she was driven by fear, and he realized he had two choices. He could give in to the silent request in her eyes and slip back out the window like he’d never been here so she could open the door and prove to father that she was alone, or Kyle could confront the past that stood between them.
It didn’t take him long to make his decision. He started for the bedroom door.
“Kyle,” she hissed in a frantic voice, but he didn’t stop his approach.
Reaching the only thing separating himself from Ella’s father, Kyle kicked the rubber wedge out from under the door, then pulled it open. Charles gasped and took a step back as he stared at Kyle in shock.
“What are you doing here?” Charles demanded.
“I’m here for your daughter,” Kyle said calmly, even as he felt Ella right behind him, her anxiety nearly palpable. “I’m here because I love her,” he went on, despite the flush of rage spreading across the other man’s face. “I’m here because I want her in my life.”
“You don’t deserve my daughter,” Charles said, his features twisting with bitterness and resentment. “Your family is responsible for everything this family has suffered!”
“Dad, please,” Ella said, trying to calm down her father. “Don’t do this.”
Charles started breathing hard, his chest rising and falling more rapidly. “It’s true, and I don’t want you anywhere near Ella. Ever.”
Kyle’s jaw clenched in anger. He was done with being condemned for his brother’s sins, for his father’s actions. For being accused of something he’d had no part of. “The only two people in my family who are to blame for anything, are my father and my brother. But mostly Todd, because what he did to Gwen was a really shitty thing and unforgiveable. But my mother has done nothing to deserve your contempt, and as for me, the only thing I’m guilty of is loving and caring for Ella. Back then and now.”
The older man pointed a stern finger at Kyle. “Stay . . . away . . . from my daughter,” Charles huffed, then grabbed at his chest as he stumbled backward.
“Dad!” Ella called out in alarm.
Shit, was the guy having another stroke? Instinctively, Kyle reached out and caught the man’s arm before he could hit the wall, and in the next instant, Ella was next to her father, tucking herself under Charles’ arm and guiding him down the hallway to the living room.
“Dad, you need to take deep breaths,” she said, her voice quivering with worry and fear, even as she took control of the situation.
“I want him out of my house,” Charles wheezed as Ella sat him down in a leather recliner, then she pulled a drawer open on the end table and retrieved a bottle of pills.
Kyle had no idea what was going on, and despite the older man’s insistent orders for him to get out, Kyle wasn’t about to leave until he knew everything was okay. “Let me call the paramedics,” he said, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone.
“He’ll be fine,” Ella snapped at him, stopping Kyle before he could connect the call to 911. “He’s not having a stroke. He’s having an anxiety attack. He’ll be okay once he calms down.”
From Kyle’s perspective, it looked equally bad, and he couldn’t stop the twinge of guilt for pushing the man to his breaking point. “What can I do to help?”
“Nothing,” she said, her voice as flat as the look in her eyes as she assisted her father in taking his meds. “You can’t be here, Kyle. You need to go. Now.”
Everything inside of Kyle went ice-cold, her words taking him straight back to the night when he’d lost Ella the first time, and the similar demand she’d made then, too: The only thing I want right now is for you to get out of my life.
The only thing missing was a slap to his face.
Without another word, he walked out the front door. He headed back to his mother’s, picked up the duffel bag of belongings he’d brought with him for the weekend, gave his mom a quick explanation of what had happened, then drove to his condo in the city.
Ella had made her choice, and it wasn’t him.
Chapter Twelve
He wasn’t coming back.
Almost a week later, the realization still hurt Ella’s heart as she stood inside of the beautiful new store that Kyle had not only built for her but had selflessly given to her. All because he wanted her to be happy. To have something that was her very own.
She couldn’t have been more miserable and devastated. The constant heartache was so bad she couldn’t even bring herself to go forward with her plans to call all the artisans in the area to bring in their merchandise to fill up the displays and shelves, because none of this meant anything to Ella if she didn’t have that one certain person to share the joys and successes with.
No, she’d royally screwed up any chance of a future she could have had with Kyle. She’d let her father influence her choices once again, and she’d lost the one man who knew her so well. The only man who’d cared deeply for her, protected her, loved her unconditionally, and had given her so much without getting anything in return. Or at least not what he deserved—her love.
And she did love Kyle. So much it was painful to breathe knowing she might not ever see him again. That she’d have to live the rest of her life knowing that he’d come to the conclusion that she wasn’t worth the hassle, because for the second time in ten years, she’d pushed him away when things had gotten rough, instead of leaning on him and trusting him with her heart.
And now, she was alone. Again.
“You know, Kyl
e would want you to put this store to good use instead of leaving it empty.”
Ella jumped at the sound of Patricia Coleman’s voice behind her, and she turned around, not all that surprised to see Kyle’s mother standing there in a frilly pink baking apron, her gaze both kind and sympathetic. The other woman had been crazy busy getting ready for her big grand opening, and the fact that she’d taken the time to come and check on Ella spoke to the kind of thoughtful woman she was—a trait that her younger son had emulated.
“How could something I’ve always wanted and dreamed of be such a painful reminder of everything I’ve lost?” Her voice was tight and scratchy from all her late-night crying jags, when the impact of what she’d done hit her hard.
Patricia moved into the store and closer to Ella. “Honey, it doesn’t have to be that way.”
Ella gave the other woman a sad smile. “Well, I’m not sure that Kyle can forgive me for what I did and what I said.” The devastation on his face when she’d told him to leave her house after her father’s anxiety attack was something she’d never be able to erase from her mind.
“Oh, I think you’d be surprised,” Patricia said, absently smoothing her hand over the apron she was wearing. “That boy of mine has a heart as big as this state, and I know he’s crazy about you. He always has been. And still is.”
A lump rose in Ella’s throat, because she felt the same way about Kyle. Without a doubt, that man was her soul mate. The one person who knew her inside and out and loved her anyway. He was her other half that had been missing for ten long years, and the thought of going through the rest of her life without him was pure agony.
“Last Saturday night, before he left to go back to the city, he told me to look after you,” Patricia said, gently placing her hand on Ella’s arm. “He wanted to make sure that you were okay after everything that had happened. But I know you’re not. You look as heartbroken as he sounds when I talk to him on the phone. You two belong together. You always have and you always will. Some things are just meant to be.”
Ella laughed derisively. “Trying tell that to my father.”
“I would if you’d let me,” Patricia said, her eyes sparkling mischievously before she turned serious once again. “I think some people find it easier to hold on to anger and resentments instead of letting them go, and a lot of people suffer for that, including you and Kyle. I also think that maybe your father just needs someone to blame for Gwen’s . . . behavior,” she said, being polite about the reputation Ella’s sister had around town, “and what happened with her pregnancy and miscarriage.”
Gwen certainly hadn’t been an angel in that situation, but the one thing Ella had learned over the years was that her father refused to think of Gwen as, well, the slut she’d been—and still was. It was a painful pill for any father to swallow or accept, and even now, he still wanted to believe that Gwen was just misunderstood.
Ella glanced around the store once again, worrying on her bottom lip. There were other doubts and worries she had when it came to her and Kyle, and because Patricia was the closest thing to a mother that she’d had in a long time, and also because she knew Kyle so well, she expressed one of her concerns.
“I’m not sure how a long-distance relationship is going to work between us,” she said honestly as she looked back at the other woman. “I live and work here, and now I’m starting a new store. He lives and works in Chicago. It’s not an easy fix. Did he tell you that I went to visit him in the city to talk to him about the building and had a full-blown panic attack because of how closed-in and loud everything was?”
“He did,” she said with a little laugh. “But there is one thing I know that is true. Kyle has never had a reason not to live in the city. He works in Chicago so it’s convenient, but that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to compromise for someone he loves. You’re his reason, Ella. He would do anything to have a life with you.”
The word compromise was like a huge light bulb moment for Ella. Give and take. Meeting him halfway, someway, somehow. He’d given her three months of being patient and understanding, and when push came to shove, she’d shoved him right out of her life without giving them a chance to figure it out. That’s all he’d asked for . . . time to figure out a solution to make things work between them. Because he loved her and because she would always be the one.
She placed a hand on her rapidly beating heart as his words came back to her, so raw and honest and true. It was everything she felt for him in return, and she had to tell him, because he would always be the man she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And in order to do that, she had to be willing to make sacrifices on her end to be with him, even if that meant somehow splitting time between Woodmont and Chicago, or somewhere in between.
A small frisson of hope swelled through her. She could do this. For Kyle. For them. It was a Friday evening, the very worst time for her to drive into the city, but she couldn’t go another day without him in her life. Or without him knowing just how much she loved him.
“I have to go,” she said to Patricia in a rush of breath.
The other woman just smiled knowingly, and while she went back to finish setting up the bakery next door for the grand opening in a week, Ella locked up the shop that Kyle had given her and went home to change.
When she walked through the front door, her father was sitting in his leather recliner watching the news, while Betsy was on the couch quietly knitting. Her dad had been giving her the silent treatment all week long, and today was no different. It was as if he was punishing her for being with Kyle, and as she headed into her bedroom to strip out of her grocery attire to take a quick shower, she realized that her father’s attitude was his issue, not hers. Not anymore.
Twenty minutes later, wearing a pretty dress and a pair of heels, with her hair down and a hint of makeup on, she made her way back to the front door without a word.
“Where are you going?” her father asked gruffly.
Taking a deep breath, Ella stopped and turned to face him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Betsy’s knitting needles come to a stop as the other woman no doubt wanted to witness what was about to happen. At least Ella knew she had an ally in Betsy, that she’d be there to calm Charles down after the conversation Ella knew they were going to have. Because it was a long time coming, and her father needed to understand that there was absolutely nothing he could say or do that would stop her from being with Kyle this time around.
She lifted her chin fearlessly, because that’s exactly how she felt—confident and self-assured in who she was and what she wanted. “I’m going into the city to see Kyle,” she said.
Her father’s dark brows pinched together in disapproval. “Ella—”
“Stop,” she said, cutting off her father because it didn’t matter what he had to say to her. It was more important that he heard what she needed to say to him. “I’m not asking for your permission, and I don’t need your approval. I’m almost twenty-eight years old, and this is my decision, not yours. I’ve given up the past ten years taking care of you and running the market, and it’s my turn to live my life and be happy. And I’m the happiest when I’m with Kyle.”
Her father’s face had turned red in anger, and while she knew this might induce another anxiety attack, he had his pills and he had Betsy and she trusted the other woman to take care of him. “I’m not sure why Gwen has gotten a free pass all these years for her behavior, because she’s far from perfect. No one forced her to sleep with Todd back then, and while I agree that Todd should have stepped up and been a man about the situation, Gwen is not faultless. If she cared about you, about us, she’d be here right now, instead of with some random guy she met one weekend. She’s always been selfish and self-centered, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
She could see her father’s chest rising and falling quickly, and it wasn’t easy for Ella not to rush to his side like she normally would have. In fact, it was damn hard to stay where she was, but a quick glance
at Betsy, who gave her an encouraging nod, told her that the other woman knew Charles wasn’t in danger of having a stroke. Ella recalled the conversation she’d had with Betsy a short while ago—for a long time now I’ve suspected that he acts frail and incapable because you’ve always catered to him. He won’t wither away if you go out and live your life.
Ella hadn’t been in the frame of mind three months ago to take Betsy’s words to heart or to act on them, but she realized that, yes, she’d catered to her father’s behavior—enabled him, even—for way too long.
“So, yes, I’m going to the city to be with Kyle,” she reiterated. “And if everything goes the way I’m hoping, I won’t be back tonight. Hell, I might not be back all weekend, and William is more than capable of taking care of the store while I’m gone. Have a good night, Dad.”
Her father gaped at her as she finished walking to the door, opened it, and stepped out onto the porch. She closed the door behind her and stopped for a moment to just breathe.
“I need my goddamn pills!” Ella heard her father yell from inside the house.
“Charles, you need to calm down and stop being so ornery,” Betsy replied in that no-nonsense voice of hers. “Let that girl go live her life and stop meddling in it.”
The two of them continued to bicker, and Ella laughed softly and shook her head as she made her way to her car, knowing she was leaving her dad in good hands. There was no doubt in her mind that her relationship with her father might be strained for a while, but she also knew he’d never disown her. And maybe, hopefully, given time, he’d come to realize and accept that Kyle was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Feeling as though a hundred-pound weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she got into her car and started the two hour-long drive into the city to get her man.
* * *
Freshly showered and wearing an old, comfortable pair of sweat pants, Kyle sat in an armchair facing the windows overlooking the twinkling lights on Lake Michigan as he took a drink of the Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey he’d poured himself. He wasn’t a big drinker. A beer here and there with friends, but knowing he was heading into his first long weekend without Ella, he’d opted for something more fortifying.
The Book Boyfriend Series Box Set Page 49
