Connor and Val had been gone nearly three hours, and with the house quiet, she’d planned to get caught up on the work that had piled up over the past week and a half since she’d ended her affair with Connor. Since he’d walked out her door after baring his soul and had gotten nothing in return because she’d been too petrified to let go of all her emotional childhood baggage—and some adult issues, too—and be strong and confident and have faith in every promise he’d made.
Since that day, her creativity had been in lock-down. It was as if her mind was rebelling against the rash, short-sighted decision she’d made to push Connor out of her life, and instead was forcing her to think about everything she’d given up and lost.
Well . . . not lost yet, her brain taunted her. But she did stand to lose a one-of-a-kind man who been nothing but dependable, loyal, and the kind of father to Val that Katie wished she’d had growing up. Because despite everything he’d said to her that last morning, it wasn’t fair to think or believe that he’d wait around for her forever. Not when she hadn’t given him any reason to.
The ache in her chest that had been a perpetual reminder of what an idiot she’d been to let him go seemed to increase day by day, as did her doubts and convictions when it came to her reasons for doing so. Every time she saw Connor—which was every day, since he saw Val in the evenings after work and on the weekends—only made her realize how much she missed him. Not the sex, but just being with him, and the three of them doing things together as . . . well, a family.
That no longer happened. In the beginning it had been Katie’s choice to opt out of the time Connor spent with Val, even though he’d initially asked her to join them on their outings—because for one thing, it had been too painful to be around Connor, and for another, she’d been trying to establish those boundaries between the two of them and wanted to make the custody arrangement as easy as possible on Val. Except it had only made it more difficult and confusing for the three-year-old little girl, who’d grown used to them being a trio, and now her mother was no longer part of the equation.
Katie understood that confusion, because she was experiencing it herself more and more. Tack on the fact that she missed Connor so much, and was it no wonder that she couldn’t get a damn thing done, work-wise?
Her doorbell rang, startling her out of her thoughts, and she figured Connor and Val were most likely back from his sister’s. Inhaling a deep breath to gather the fortitude to face him for the few minutes it took to drop off their daughter, she headed out to the living room and opened the front door—and found Avery standing there instead.
“Hey,” Katie said, surprised to see her friend.
Avery lifted a plate with some kind of decadent confection sitting on top. “I brought you a lemon loaf cake with icing,” she said with a grin. “I think you and I need to have a girl talk, and what better way to do that than with dessert?”
Katie had an idea of what kind of “girl talk” Avery was interested in having, and honestly, she was shocked it had taken her friend this long to force the issue of what had happened between Katie and Connor. The first time she’d asked, which had been the day everything had changed between the two of them, Katie hadn’t been ready to talk, for fear of having an emotional breakdown over her decision. But enough time had passed that having a conversation about Connor wouldn’t reduce her to tears or the sobbing mess she’d been at night when Val was fast asleep in her bed and Katie was all alone.
“Come on in,” Katie invited, and the two of them headed into the kitchen. “Would you like coffee or iced tea?”
“Let’s go with iced tea,” Avery said as she set the lemon loaf on the counter, then took down two smaller plates from the overhead cupboard.
While Katie filled two glasses with their drink of choice, Avery handled the cutting of the cake. They sat down at the table, and Avery gave her the chance to taste just one bite of the delicious treat before she spoke what was on her mind.
“So, what is it going to take to make you come to your senses about Connor?” she asked, point-blank. “I’ve spent the past week and a half seeing you depressed and watching that gorgeous guy who clearly adores you looking equally miserable, so clearly, neither one of you is happy just being friends.”
Katie winced at her friend’s blatant, and accurate, depiction of her and Connor. “Yeah, it’s been . . . rough.”
“That man is as rare as gold, you know that, right?” Avery asked, as if Katie wasn’t smart enough to figure that out for herself . . . which was almost true. It had just taken her a bit of time to see what she could potentially lose.
“I pushed him away. Hard,” she admitted after swallowing a bite of her lemon cake. “I just . . . panicked. I had horrible flashbacks of my parents’ hellish divorce, and all the guys in my past who never stuck around, and I suppose a part of me just felt like I wasn’t good enough for a man like Connor.”
Avery’s mouth literally fell open. “Not good enough? Did he ever make you feel that way? Because if so, I’m going to have to kick his ass.”
Katie laughed. “No, never.” All she’d ever felt with Connor was beautiful and alive and happier than she could ever remember. “Even as I was pushing him away to protect my heart, I knew it was already too late, that I’d already fallen in love with him. I was just too scared to put it out there because it made me feel so vulnerable.”
“Oh, honey,” Avery said, more gently now. “He’s not like all those other jerks you’ve dated. You know that, right?”
“Of course I know that,” she replied without an ounce of doubt in her voice. “I knew that when I ended things, too, but everything happened so fast between us, and it was so intense, that I kept waiting for it to all fall apart, because it always has before. I thought it’d be easier to make a break now, rather than months down the road, but God, I miss him so much.”
“So, what are you going to do about it?” Avery took a drink of her tea, eyeing Katie over the rim for those few seconds before she put her glass down again. “You are going to do something, right?”
“I want to . . . ”
“But?”
“What if I hurt him too badly, and he doesn’t feel the same way any longer?” she asked on a rush of breath, before she lost the nerve, because that was one fear that was still lingering inside her.
Avery burst out laughing. “Are you freakin’ blind, Katie? Yes, you probably hurt him when you pushed him away, but your baby daddy is the least egotistical guy I’ve ever met. I’ve seen him standing at your door while he picks up Val or drops her off, and the way he looks at you . . . Jesus, you are freakin’ blind because everything about his body language tells me he’s just waiting for the day that you finally come to your senses and give him the chance he deserves.”
Katie thought back to everything Connor had said to her, the sincere words he’d spoken coming easily because she’d not only memorized them but she replayed them in her head every night while her mind played a game of what if. Most specifically, what if she’d trusted him with her heart that day . . . and the answer was always the same. She’d be happy, she’d be in love, and the three of them would be a family. How could she have ever doubted that it would be any other way?
The doorbell rang, and Katie’s heart began a heavy, nervous beat inside of her chest because it was most likely Connor and Val. She looked at Avery, who gave her an understanding smile.
“It’s now or never,” her friend said, as if she knew exactly what Katie had been thinking. “For now, don’t obsess about the future. Just take one day at a time with Connor. Let him show you exactly what kind of man he is, and let yourself believe you’re worth everything he has to offer you, and Val.”
“Okay,” she said, and stood, her stomach now joining in on the bout of nervous jitters.
Avery gave her a hug, then looked into Katie’s eyes as she offered her last bit of support. “Trust me, you’ve got this.”
Together, they walked through the living room and when Katie open
ed the door, Avery immediately looked down at Val and said, “Hey, kiddo. Want to come over and play with Leah? And have dinner with us, too?”
“Yeah!” Val said enthusiastically. “Can I, Mommy?”
“Sure. Have fun, and be good,” Katie said as the two of them were already hand in hand and heading down the walkway toward Avery’s.
Which left her and Connor standing on opposite sides of the door, awkwardly alone since Val had been their buffer for the past week and a half.
“I guess I’ll go,” he said, but before he could turn around, Katie grabbed his arm to stop him. A slight confused frown formed on his brow as he looked at her. “Everything okay?”
“Yes . . . no . . . ” Oh, God, she was already a blabbering mess. “I was hoping you could come inside and we could talk for a few minutes?”
“About Val?” he asked, because that’s all they’d really discussed since that morning.
She shook her head and swallowed to ease the sudden dryness in her throat. “No, about . . . us.”
That frown of his remained in place as he hesitated a moment, just long enough for a wealth of doubts to swirl through her before he put her out of her misery. “Okay.”
He walked into the house, and she shut the door behind him. They were in the small living room, a few feet apart with him staring at her as he waited for her to speak, and all she could think was, how in the world did she ease into this conversation? And then it came to her.
“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about everything that happened that morning,” she said, knowing he didn’t need clarification of which morning she was referring to. “For the crazy way I reacted and for pushing you away and for doubting everything you said to me. It was so wrong.”
“You don’t owe me an apology for the way you feel,” he said, his voice a little gruff and uncertain.
She bit her bottom lip as she prepared to take that leap of faith with him. “Yes, I do, because I was wrong, and my issue was, is, that I feel so much for you it scares me to death.”
“I know,” he said simply, the look in his eyes softening, but he remained right where he was, when she wanted so badly for him to close the distance between them.
So, she continued, wanting everything out there—her fears, her insecurities, the doubts she never, ever should have had about him. “You were right . . . it was easier in that moment to just let you go instead of risking getting hurt.”
“And now?”
She couldn’t stop her hands from twisting anxiously in front of her. “And now, I know how much it hurts not to have you in my life. And how much it hurts to be in love with someone, with you, and being so scared that I might have totally screwed everything up.”
The corner of his mouth twitched imperceptibly, and he raised a dark, challenging brow. “Say that again, Katie,” he ordered softly.
There was no doubt in her mind what part he wanted her to repeat, and she did so with every bit of the emotion that was trying to burst free from her. “I love you, Connor. So much.”
With a relieved groan, he walked the steps it took to reach her and immediately pulled her into his arms. “Jesus Christ, Katie,” he said against her ear, his own voice rough with joy. “It took you long enough to figure it out.”
“I know, and that’s why I’m sorry,” she said against his strong, muscled chest as she squeezed her arms tight around him. “Because I should have known right then and there that you are a man of your word, that when you say you’re in it for the long haul, you mean it.”
He pulled back slightly, just enough to take her face between his hands so he could look into her eyes. “Baby, I’m rock solid, and don’t you ever forget that. I don’t give up, and I’m not going anywhere, ever. I love you, and when you’re ready, I’m going to marry you.”
She couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes, and did her best to blink them back. “I want to be yours, Connor. I want to be a family with you and Val. I want it all,” she said, trusting him completely, without any fears.
A big grin spread across his handsome face. “Ahhh, I like it when you’re greedy.”
She laughed at the sexual innuendo in his voice. “That’s what you get for being so good at everything you do.”
“Hmm.” Desire flickered in his darkening gaze as he brought his hands down to her ass, then a little lower to her thighs. “How long before Val gets home?” he asked as he effortlessly lifted her, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist, their minds already back in sync.
“Oh, a few hours,” she said, anticipation in her voice as he started down the hall toward her bedroom.
“Perfect,” he murmured, the heat in his eyes making her breathless. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
She agreed, and as he pushed her back on the bed and came over her, his mouth hot and hungry on hers and his hands slowly stripping away her clothes so he could worship every inch of her, Katie let herself be loved by the man who would always have her back, take care of her and their child, and most importantly never, ever leave.
Epilogue
One year later . . .
Katie stood out on the large patio of the new home she and Connor had recently bought together, watching all their friends and family as they enjoyed the afternoon festivities at Val’s fourth birthday party.
Connor’s mother and father were there, laughing as Val tore through all the gifts everyone had spoiled her with. His business partners and wives were all present, as well, along with the three new babies each of them had had. Katie had already held and cuddled them all, and it was hard not to catch baby fever from all the sweet cuteness overload.
She glanced down at the huge diamond ring on her finger, the one that Connor had put there on Valentine’s Day, which had been the day they’d decided to get married. It had been a small, intimate affair at Connor’s parents’ house—with Val standing in as the flower girl and throwing rose petals everywhere.
So much had changed in one year, but the things that mattered the most had stayed the same, while other things had grown exponentially. Like Connor’s love for her and Val, for one thing. And the fact that she and Val now had a family that they belonged to. There was one other thing that was about to change, as well, but that was a surprise she wanted to share with Connor later, when it was just the three of them.
After a few hours, the party ended, and after everyone was gone and everything cleaned up, Katie went to her office to retrieve the present she’d wrapped earlier, then went back to the kitchen, where Connor was drying the last of the dishes, then handing them to Val to put away.
The two of them were adorable together, and their affection for one another always made Katie smile. Once upon a time, she never would have believed that her heart could feel so full, but Connor had made it possible. She and Val were very lucky girls, and she hoped the gift she was about to give Connor would make him feel just as fortunate.
“Hey, you two,” she said, grabbing their attention as she walked into the kitchen with her hands, and the present, behind her back. “I know it’s your birthday today, Val, but I have a special present for Daddy, too.”
“What is it?” she asked, running over to check out the small wrapped package Katie was now holding in front of her.
Katie grinned at her daughter’s impatience. “We’re going to find out as soon as Daddy opens it.” She handed the long flat box to Connor, who gave her a curious grin.
“Can’t imagine what it is,” he said, examining the box and the nondescript paper it was wrapped in. “I have everything I could ever want right here in this room.”
Katie rolled her eyes at him, though she was smiling. “Trust me, you’re going to want this. And just so you know, it can’t be returned.”
Val jumped up and down beside Connor. “Open it quick, Daddy. I wanna know what it is!”
“Hold your horses, princess,” he said as he tore away the wrapping, then lifted the lid on the box.
He had to fo
ld back the tissue paper to find what Katie had put inside, and she watched as he looked at the long plastic stick in confusion, which quickly morphed into shock as he raised his eyes back to her face.
“Is this what I think it is?” he asked, his voice already husky with emotion.
She shrugged, her own throat getting tight at the reverent look in his eyes. “Depends on what you think it is.”
“You’re pregnant?” His tone was a combination of hope and disbelief. “Already?”
She laughed, because they’d just recently decided to try for a second child now that they were married and settled in a new house. Like, in the past month kind of recent. “What can I say? You have really strong swimmers,” she said, keeping things age appropriate since Val was still in the room with them.
Connor set the box on the counter and pulled her into a hug, his warm, strong body enveloping hers. “Just when I think I can’t get any luckier than I already am, you prove me wrong all over again.”
“What is it?” Val asked enthusiastically. “What did Mommy get you for a present?”
“I am so going to thank you for this present later, when we’re alone in bed and you’re completely naked,” he whispered wickedly in her ear. “I might even thank you a couple of times,” he promised meaningfully before releasing her and turning his attention to his daughter.
He picked Val up so she was sitting on his muscled forearm. “You know that baby brother or sister you keep asking for?”
Val nodded.
“You’re going to have one, very soon,” he told her.
The little girl’s eyes widened. “Yay!” she cheered, clapping her hands happily. “I can’t wait!”
Neither could Katie, but as she’d learned over the years since first meeting Connor that snowy night in Denver, some things were definitely worth waiting for.
The Book Boyfriend Series Box Set Page 67
