Produced by Pat Pflieger
THE LIFE AND PERAMBULATIONS OF A MOUSE
(1783-1784)
by Dorothy Kilner
INTRODUCTION
During a remarkably severe winter, when a prodigious fall of snowconfined everybody to their habitations, who were happy enough to haveone to shelter them from the inclemency of the season, and were hotobliged by business to expose themselves to its rigour, I was on a visitto Meadow Hall; where had assembled likewise a large party of youngfolk, who all seemed, by their harmony and good humour, to strive whoshould the most contribute to render pleasant that confinement which wewere all equally obliged to share. Nor were those further advancedin life less anxious to contribute to the general satisfaction andentertainment.
After the more serious employment of reading each morning was concluded,we danced, we sung, we played at blind-man's-buff, battledore andshuttlecock, and many other games equally diverting and innocent; andwhen tired of them, drew our seats round the fire, while each one inturn told some merry story to divert the company.
At last, after having related all that we could recollect worthreciting, and being rather at a loss what to say next, a sprightly girlin company proposed that every one should relate the history of theirown lives; 'and it must be strange indeed,' added she, 'if that will nothelp us out of this difficulty, and furnish conversation for some dayslonger; and by that time, perhaps, the frost will break, the snow willmelt, and set us all at liberty. But let it break when it will, I make alaw, that no one shall go from Meadow Hall till they have told their ownhistory: so take notice, ladies and gentlemen, take notice, everybody,what you have to trust to. And because,' continued she, 'I will not beunreasonable, and require more from you than you can perform, I willgive all you who may perhaps have forgotten what passed so many yearsago, at the beginning of your lives, two days to recollect and digestyour story; by which time if you do not produce something pretty andentertaining, we will never again admit you to dance or play among us.'All this she spoke with so good-humoured a smile, that every one wasdelighted with her, and promised to do their best to acquit themselvesto her satisfaction; whilst some (the length of whose lives had notrendered them forgetful of the transactions which had passed) instantlybegan their memoirs, as they called them: and really some related theirnarratives with such spirit and ingenuity, that it quite distressed usolder ones, lest we should disgrace ourselves when it should fall toour turns to hold forth. However, we were all determined to producesomething, as our fair directress ordered. Accordingly, the next morningI took up my pen, to endeavour to draw up some kind of a history, whichmight satisfy my companions in confinement. I took up my pen, it istrue, and laid the paper before me; but not one word toward my appointedtask could I proceed. The various occurrences of my life were such as,far from affording entertainment, would, I was certain, rather afflict;or, perhaps, not interesting enough for that, only stupefy, and renderthem more weary of the continuation of the frost than they were before Ibegan my narration. Thus circumstanced, therefore, although by myself,I broke silence by exclaiming, 'What a task his this sweet girlimposed upon me! One which I shall never be able to execute to my ownsatisfaction or her amusement. The adventures of my life (though deeplyinteresting to myself) will be insipid and unentertaining to others,especially to my young hearers: I cannot, therefore, attempt it.'--'Thenwrite mine, which may be more diverting,' said a little squeaking voice,which sounded as if close to me. I started with surprise, not knowingany one to be near me; and looking round, could discover no object fromwhom it could possibly proceed, when casting my eyes upon the ground, ina little hole under the skirting-board, close by the fire, I discoveredthe head of a mouse peeping out. I arose with a design to stop thehole with a cork, which happened to lie on the table by me; and I wassurprised to find that it did not run away, but suffered me to advancequite close, and then only retreated a little into the hole, saying inthe same voice as before, 'Will you write my history?' You may be surethat I was much surprised to be so addressed by such an animal; but,ashamed of discovering any appearance of astonishment, lest themouse should suppose it had frightened me, I answered with the utmostcomposure, that I would write it willingly if it would dictate tome. 'Oh, that I will do,' replied the mouse, 'if you will not hurtme.'--'Not for the world,' returned I; 'come, therefore, and sit uponmy table, that I may hear more distinctly what you have to relate.' Itinstantly accepted my invitation, and with all the nimbleness of itsspecies, ran up the side of my chair, and jumped upon my table; when,getting into a box of wafers, it began as follows.
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