I was even so pleasantly surprised to see that Elyse voted to have the guy killed. She was so strong and beautiful. Even for someone for her youthful age, she knew exactly what she wanted in life and it was so sexy that she did. She was so different from her parents. I liked Sam. I thought that he was a good guy and had a good head on his shoulders, but Emily was the weak link in the Clark family.
Without even realizing it, I had found myself over by the Clark camp. Emily and Elyse had both set up a couple of sleeping spots outside the door of Sam's room. They wanted to be close to him and I loved her for that. She was dedicated and passionate. If I sat down and tried to think of something about Elyse that I didn't like or would like changed, I couldn't do it. She was a perfect angel that I truly believe was sent to me. I was her guardian, though. She was an angel that God sent to me so that I could protect her.
It was dark, but I could see that Emily wasn't lying in her bed. There was a dim light on in Sam's office and I could see Emily in there running some nightly tests on him. Elyse was rolling around, but didn't notice that I was standing there.
"Elyse?" I didn't want to startle her so I talked softly.
"Yea? Who's that?" she asked in a small panic.
"It's okay, it's me, Scott."
"Oh, hey," I could already hear some relief in her voice. "What's up?"
"I was just finishing up checking the building."
"That's kind of becoming a routine of yours, huh?"
"It's so funny you say that because I was just thinking about that," we shared a laugh together. I kneeled in front of her, "I was thinking about something else that I wanted to talk to you about."
"Okay."
"Back there, you voted to have the guy killed, for us to put a bullet in him."
"So, did you."
"I know, but I'm older. I'm my own man, Elyse. You've got your mom and your dad looking out for you. They're watching your every move. Luckily, they weren't in the room for that. If anyone tells them you voted that way, they're going to go off on you."
"Well I don't care. I'm an adult."
"I know you are, but they don't see it that way, do they?"
"No, I guess they don't."
"And that is what I wanted to talk to you about...you did the right thing. With your vote, I mean. You voted the right way. We should have shot that guy. We shouldn't have let him leave the building."
"Okay...so what do we do?"
"Oh, nothing about that. It's out of our hands. I'm just saying that you are an adult now. You are entitled to your opinion no matter how different it is from your parents."
"Thanks, Scott."
"But they won't see it that way. They are going to look at you like their little girl for the rest of their lives. Especially in this world. There is danger around every corner and you'll never be treated like an adult."
"You really think so."
"I know so," I told her how I felt, but she seemed skeptical. So, I lied, "Your mom was telling me herself how worried she always is about you and how she's never going to let you out of her sight."
"She doesn't own me," Elyse looked back at her dad's new office in disgust. She was growing frustrated.
"I agree...that's why I think we need to leave."
"What?" she looked back at me.
"You and me. We need to pack up and leave tonight. When your mom goes to sleep, we need to leave. We'll go to an abandoned building or an empty house and we'll create a life of our own...a life together."
"What the hell are you talking about, Scott? I'm not leaving with you."
"It's good, Elyse. Here you'll always be the young girl, but with me, you'll be a woman. You'll be the queen and I'll be the king and we will live a peaceful life together away from all the drama that these people are causing."
"Scott, you're-"
She couldn't finish because Emily opened the door of Sam's office. She was still talking to her husband and didn't notice that Elyse and I were even having a conversation. I didn't want her mom to catch us planning our escape because then it would never happen. She would forbid us to see each other and as much as I would love to live the life of Romeo & Juliet, I wanted to write my own love story with her.
"Just think about it. We'll talk more later," I stood up and began walking down the hallway before I was stopped.
"Scott?" Emily closed the door behind her and came out to us.
"Oh, hey, Emily, I was just finishing up checking the building before I hit the hay."
"You really think you've got to do that every night?"
"Yes, I do," how dare she question what I think I should or shouldn't be doing. That comment was proof of how different she was from her daughter. "Do you want to go to bed knowing your safe? If not, I won't check this side of the building tomorrow."
"No, Scott. I was just asking. Thank you for doing that every night."
"Have a good night, Emily."
I said goodnight to her, but was directing it towards Elyse. I looked her in the eyes and I could see the thought of us together, in a house, building a life together was sounding pretty good to her. I walked away and could feel her eyes on me. It felt good. It put such a rush through my body that she was watching me. Finally, she was watching me like I had been watching her so many times before.
XLIV
Kurt Elkins, April 20th, 7:04 a.m.
I 'd like to say that my night got better. I'd like to say that Haylea and I finally had sex after so many nights away from each other. That it was the perfect escape to living in a world of hell. But I can't. I can't say we did. I can't even say that I went back into the room. I couldn't. I couldn't face her after what I had done.
I ended up circling the kitchen for a couple of hours before I finally fell asleep in one of the office chairs at the secretary's desk. I couldn't even remember sitting down in the chair. I woke up early the next morning and let out a big yawn.
The first couple of nights after the airborne outbreak, I woke up from dreams that this wasn't real. That Haylea and I were really spending the day planning our wedding and laughing with friends and family. Last night was the first night I didn't dream. I didn't dream of anything. The world had finally killed off all my dreams. Dreams were a great way to escape life and fill us with a sense of mystery and magic, but I couldn't even imagine that anymore. I was officially stuck in this hell in all aspects of my life.
I went over to the kitchen where we had placed the box full of masks and gloves and put on each one, respectively. I didn't think I needed them anymore after my little stunt last night with Frank. I had already breathed in enough of the air that it should kill me in a couple of days, but if the others knew that, outside of Jack, Frank, and Emily, I think they would go into a panic. They would have to decide what to do with me and I know that would be a tough decision to come to when they didn't have me to lean on.
I think I was the first one awake, or at least the first one that was ready to get on with the day, because I didn't run into anyone on my walk to the back of the building. There was a loading dock in the back of the building that had a lot of outdoor equipment. Luckily, I found a shovel back there. It wasn't the biggest shovel. It was going to take me a lot more work than I wanted, but burying Joe was something I knew, deep down, that I had to do.
I had all I needed, a shovel and a bottle of water, and made one more last check to make sure that nobody was around before I opened the door. There were no separating doors or lobbies like in the front of the building to protect anyone from the air. If somebody were around when I opened the door, they would surely be struck by whatever particles were in the air.
I closed the door behind me and waited a couple of seconds before starting to breath normally. This was so different from last night. Last night I truly felt like Frank's life was in the balance and that if I didn't do what I did, he probably would have lost it. He probably would have taken his own life. Being out there now, on my decision, put the nerves back in me. I could feel my hand start to
shake at the thought that I killed myself last night. I gave my own death sentence. It was only a matter of time now before the air took a hold of my immune system and put me down for good.
Everyone is entitled to a good mental break down. That was the only time I was probably going to get my chance. Standing outside the building, alone, moments before I buried Joe. I didn't let it linger on for too long though. I did some shaking, some hyperventilating, and a little bit of crying, but I pulled myself back together and picked a spot out under the trees...then I started digging.
With the morning heat beginning to pick up, and the amount of digging I was doing, I was beginning to sweat profusely. I had only been digging for less than an hour and I wasn't making much progress. I had a hole that was maybe big enough to fit a small rabbit.
"Need some help?" asked Jack from behind me.
"I'd say sure, but there was only one shovel."
"Just as well, I guess."
"What's that mean, Jack?" I could feel some frustration on his part and I wasn't ready for it. Not this early in the morning. He was pulling the frustration out from within me. "Seriously. Just say what you want to say or else go back inside so nobody freaks out."
All I heard was an exhale of air...a dramatic, unnecessary exhale of air. He looked away from me and watched the trees move back and forth in the wind. I took that as a sign that he didn't really have anything to say to me at the time so I turned away from him and stuck the shovel back into the ground. If I was scooping up four pounds of dirt each time I lifted the shovel from the earth when I began, I was probably scooping up no more than a pound and a half. Fatigue was settling in and making a camp to stay.
Blue ber bong.
I barely could make out what he said because he spoke just as I tossed the shoveled dirt aside. The sound of it scattering on the ground next to me, and the grunt I made when I tossed it, gave me no opportunity to hear his low murmured voice.
"What? What?" I turned to him and stuck the shovel in the ground and left it there. I walked closer to him and clapped and rubbed my hands together to get rid of some of the dust. My clothes were covered. My entire body looked like I had just gotten out of the biggest dust storm the west had ever seen.
"You were wrong."
"I was wrong?"
"You and I both know that we should have never let those boys go."
"No... No. I know...I know that we should have let them go, but you think we shouldn't have. I did the right thing."
"What's to stop them from coming back here with more people? Hmm? You let a murderer walk freely with the directions back to where we are living, Kurt. You really think that was an okay thing to do?"
"Yea, I do. We have Frank. Frank is their leader."
"Frank may be here scoping the place out. It's a little ironic the whole damn thing. I mean...let me ask you one thing," Jack moved in real close to me. I recognized it as his way of intimidation. He would not intimidate me. "Did Reggie even look that God damn sick to you?"
I couldn't answer. I remember meeting him at the hospital. He seemed lively, but shy. At first, I took it as his illness, but the longer the ride in the van the more talkative he was. He told Frank that it was okay that Frank had to kill one of his men. He looked at us all with big eyes. I never once heard him cough. Never once heard him sneeze or complain.
"He's sick, Jack. Frank is like me," I said turning my back and heading over to the shovel to pick up where I left off.
"A coward? A chicken shit? Afraid to make the tough decision no matter how right it is?"
I put my hand on the shovel. The long wooden shaft that was connected to a steel plate. I squeezed it and twisted my hand back and forth like a baseball player does to the shaft of his bat. To get a feel for it.
It would take one blow to the side of the head...
"No, Jack. He's a real leader. Somebody that people look up to. Not afraid to make tough decisions whether they are the right ones or the wrong ones. He doesn't let his instincts take control of him. He doesn't let this caged animal inside go wild. A leader needs to lay out all the options in front of him and systematically decide the best one. A leader asks questions first and shoots later...only if he has to. You, Jack, you shoot every time and never ask any questions."
His eyes got smaller and I think, or I was just beginning to lose it from being so tired, that his eyes moved over to the shovel I was holding. Was he planning to leap for it? Was that going to be the moment we finally came to blows and settled everything once and for all.
"By the way...sorry that I punched you back there. It was a choice I made...as a leader."
He smiled and let out a laugh, but it wasn't the friendly laugh two friends share at a bar over a couple of beers. It was more like a challenge. It was a challenge.
"You were wrong, Kurt," he walked over to the back door and put his hand on it before turning back to me, "And I'm promising you one thing. That I'm going to be standing next to you when you realize it."
And then he left. Leaving me by myself to continue burying Joe. I looked up at the sun and it was getting pretty hot. I was guessing between 11 a.m. and noon. I continued digging and at the pace I was going it would take another hour before I had the hole big enough for Joe to fit inside. I continued to dig and I probably should have thanked Jack because his annoyance gave me a second wind. Four pounds of dirt were coming up from the ground with every lift.
XLV
Haylea Meyers, April 20th 2:05 p.m.
I woke up that morning the same way that I went to sleep last night. Alone. When a relationship first starts, I mean when it first begins to get serious, fights are always blown out of proportion. Whether it is a fight about who didn't do the dishes, who deleted a recording on the DVR, or who wrote a 400-dollar check to Best Buy. Every fight was big. If somebody in the relationship went to be alone and woke up alone, it could be about anything.
Once the relationship hits the point when both involved know that it is going to be a forever kind of relationship, for instance say when they are engaged, going to bed and waking up alone can only mean that something really bad happened. Our fight wasn't that bad. I could totally understand why Kurt wasn't in the mood. I wanted to clear his mind of everything and just enjoy a night of passion, but he was holding the weight of the whole group on his shoulders.
I wasn't angry with him. I was upset. I hurt, but in a couple of hours and a good night's sleep I was fine. I understood why he couldn't perform last night. But when I woke up and he wasn't by my side, I was a little nervous. I realized at that point that there was something deeply wrong with him. I was fearful that he was breaking down in front of my eyes. I was worried that being in charge of everyone was going to be the thing that killed him.
When I came out of my new bedroom, I was surprised to see everyone was awake and moving around. They were helping themselves to what looked like fresh fruit and sandwiches. It was food that we didn't have yesterday.
I came around the corner into the kitchen area and the sun was beating down through the glass windows. It wasn't early morning. It was afternoon. When I finally saw a clock, I was shocked to see that I had slept until two in the afternoon. I guess the bedroom that I made was more comfortable than even I thought.
Then I saw something that was even more shocking.
At one of the tables, eating a sandwich, laughing, was my fiancé. Kurt sat there with his hand to his mouth trying to hold in the food he was chewing while laughing. He was sitting with Heather. She was laughing too. It was a sight that I didn't like seeing. My entire appetite disappeared and my stomach was instantly upset.
When he saw me, though, he dropped everything and came to my side.
"Hey, babe. Are you hungry?"
"Where did all this food come from?" I asked.
"Well...Scott and I went to the grocery store and got a bunch of stuff for the group."
"And you didn't wake me up?"
"No, I figured you needed to get some sleep."
&nb
sp; "What if something happened, Kurt? Don't ever go outside without letting me know. I'm serious," I couldn't believe he was being so selfish with his actions. He didn't look sorry. He didn't understand where I was coming from.
"I'm sorry. It was a quick trip--"
"And I never want to see the look in your eyes, that I just saw, when you are sitting with that girl."
"What? Haylea, I--"
"I'm serious, Kurt. You want these people to see you as a leader? Act like a leader," I walked away from him and fixed myself a bowl of fruit.
For the first time, maybe since we were locked in the building late last week, we were all together. The kids sat at their children's table eating sandwiches. Mary sat with them. Her eyes were still red. I could tell that she was crying all night. She was putting on a tough face for the kids, though.
Travis, Jenny, Emily, Barry, and Janet all sat at another table. There wasn't much public conversation between them. Travis and Jenny whispered stuff to each other and displayed annoying amounts of PDA. Janet and Barry spoke through sign language. I could see Emily wasn't up for much conversation anyways. She was eating quickly.
Scott, Jack, and Elyse sat at another table eating. Jack and Elyse shared stories with each other while Scott looked on without saying a word. He was more of an observer to their conversation.
The final table was Heather and Dan. They sat together because Kurt was no longer sitting at the table flirting with Heather. Dan's mouth was motoring as usual and Heather sat there with a smile on her face listening to him. I'm sure he was talking about Star Trek or an actress that hadn't been alive in over thirty years. That's what he talked about. Nobody ever seemed to care, and only a few actually engaged him.
I grabbed my bowl and went and sat a table...I sat with Jack, Elyse, and Scott. I smiled at them and nodded. I didn't say anything.
Dead Last (Vol. 1): Dead Last Page 21
