“Morning,” I whisper from the opening of the kitchen. Like my place, Gavin’s kitchen opens up into the living room.
“Morning, beautiful. I was hoping to surprise you with breakfast in bed.” His dark locks are a tousled mess, and I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it again. His dark chocolate eyes burrow into mine as he steps into my space and places a soft kiss on my lips. I could really get used to this.
Hmm. “I could get used to kissing you every morning and seeing you in my shirt,” he whispers against my lips, making my cheeks burst into flames.
Why does he have to be so perfect the next morning, too? I can’t help but smile up at him all the same.
“I smelled the coffee and came searching,” I respond as he returns to the stove.
“Here I thought you missed me in bed and came looking for me,” he teases as he grabs two mugs from the cabinets above the stove and begins to pour our coffees. I can’t help but laugh.
“I figured if I found the coffee, you wouldn’t be too far.” I love this, the easy way we can banter back and forth but then also have serious conversations. I don’t want to ruin this, but I know I can’t hide my past from him for much longer. It’s not fair to Gavin, to me, and especially not to Logan.
“Good save, beautiful.” He hands me one of the mugs and places the milk and sugar on the counter for me to serve myself.
“I’m not sure how you like your coffee, you’ll have to let me know for next time.” He kisses my forehead before returning to the stove.
“I like it with just a hint of milk to change the color and one and a half sugar. It’s still bitter but with a hint of sweetness.” I smile over the rim of the mug while inhaling the beautiful aroma of caffeine.
“You are the cutest, sexiest, and most beautiful woman all wrapped in one.” I let out a chuckle and sit at the kitchen table as Gavin brings over a large plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage and dishes out my food first.
“Thank you, but you didn’t have to serve me.” I place my mug on the table and grab the fork and knife he set for me while I wait for him to fill his plate.
“I know, but I wanted to.” He leans in and places a kiss on my forehead before starting. We enjoy the food for a few minutes in silence before he breaks it.
“Bailey, I need to tell you something more about last night.”
I place my fork and knife on the table and turn my attention to him so we can lock eyes. He hasn’t looked at me yet. I reach over and place my hand on his thigh and squeeze just a little so he knows I’m listening. With him opening up to me again, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty that I haven’t yet shared anything about my past. I just don’t know if I’m ready yet.
“Last night, after I woke up from…the nightmare…” He clears his throat before starting again.
“You’re the only person, besides Hunter, who I’ve told about my brother and what happened, along with the nightmares and that my father blames me for Travis’s death.”
Gosh, why do fathers have to be so fucked up?
“I won’t tell anyone, Gavin. I promise you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Baby, I know. That’s not why I brought it up. I know last night ended with some heavy shit, and I’m sorry if I ruined it for you.” He lets out a soft, sheepish chuckle that I can’t help smiling at.
“Last night was perfect, Gavin. Every single moment.” I lean in and kiss his cheek.
He smiles before he continues. “I promise our next night will be less traumatic, or I hope it will be, at least. What I want to say is, I don’t want to pressure you into opening up about your past, even though I opened up about mine. I want you to trust me and open up to me on your own time. The only thing I’ll ask is, where is Logan’s father?”
And with that final question, I feel the ground beneath me give out and a black abyss sucks me in.
Chapter Eighteen
Gavin
I didn’t want to bring up any more massive shit, especially since last night was already tense enough. Our first date alone was supposed to be light and fun. But since I can’t stop the nightmares, it had to be addressed, and she handled it like a pro. I needed to at least ask about Logan’s father. I don’t give a shit if he is only a summer break kind of father or not in his life at all. I brought it up only because I need to be certain that he won’t try to take Bailey and Logan away from me. Only, Bailey looks about ready to pass the fuck out.
“Baby, are you all right?” I squeeze her hand that’s lying on my thigh.
She quickly takes several breaths and squeezes back.
“Hey, listen, I don’t mean to upset you or bring up more shit for us to talk about. I just want you to know that no matter what the situation is with Logan’s father, I’m not letting either of you go.” I smooth her messy curls away from her face and lift her chin to look her in the eyes. She seems so lost and vulnerable, maybe I should have waited a few more days to ask, but fuck, I just want her to know where I stand.
“I’m…” She clears her throat and starts again. “I’m not upset, Gavin, you have every right to know about my past. It’s just…umm…” She stumbles over her words, and I give her a moment to figure out what she wants to say.
I get how difficult talking about your past can be, but I also know that it felt like a huge weight lifted off my chest the moment I told her about my nightmares,
“Logan’s father left a long time ago.”
“He’s a piece of shit for giving up on you and that precious boy, but his stupidity is my gain.” I see the shy smile grace her face and hope that it indicates she knows that I’m serious about her and Logan.
“What are your plans for the day?” I ask as I finish up breakfast.
“I’m off today, so besides hanging out with Ash for a bit, nothing planned. Probably take Logan to the park or maybe go for a drive. I learned on our journey here that Logan likes long car rides.” She plays with her food and only occasionally takes a few bites. I don’t like seeing her stressed or worrying to the point she isn’t eating.
“I don’t have any clients scheduled for today. How would you feel if I watch Logan while you hang out with Ash and then the three of us can hang out together? I know a cool place that is about an hour or so away from here.” I watch her facial expression for any indication that she is not feeling the idea. I don’t want her to ever feel as if I’m intruding or forcing my way into her alone time with Logan.
“I think that would be nice.” She responds with that smile that brightens up her entire face. She leans in and gives me the quickest kiss in history before pulling back and grabbing her plate and coffee mug and heading to the kitchen.
“Great. When do you want me over to watch Logan?” I come up behind her at the sink and wrap my arms around her slim waist. I love seeing this woman wearing my t-shirt. I nuzzle my face in her neck and breathe her in. She lets out a laugh as she tries to wash the dishes while I continue to nip and suck on her neck.
“Gavin! I’ll never get out of here if you keep doing that!” She laughs harder and tries to get away from me.
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” I give her a pouty face that has her breaking out into fits of laughter all over again. I love seeing her like this.
“You are so silly sometimes, Gavin.” She dries off her hands and leans against the counter. “I guess, if you don’t mind, I can have Logan meet you here once Ash and I step out.”
“That’s great. How long are you and Ash planning on visiting for?” I cage her in against the counter and place a kiss to her forehead.
“She starts her shift at one, so I should be back roughly twenty minutes after.” She places her hands on my waist and leans her head to rest against my chest.
“Perfect! That’ll give Logan and me enough time to get things ready for our trip.” I kiss her head and then step back to catch her lips.
“Can’t wait.”
I kiss her long and hard just before we break apart and go about getting
dressed. I walk her to my door and watch as she walks across the hall to her apartment.
Last night went from sweet, to perfect, to real intense quickly. I’m happy as fuck we got some crucial shit out of the way so we can focus on moving forward, starting with today’s picnic.
Chapter Nineteen
Bailey
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Okay, Bailey, you just need to take a damn breath and think. It’s going to be okay. You’ll figure this out.
I open my apartment door and Zeus comes to meet me, ready for some loving. I wish he could hide me. I bend down on my knees and hug him tight. He seems to understand my turmoil as he lays his furry head on my shoulder.
“Mom! You’re back!” Logan comes racing from his room and tackles me to the ground.
He laughs as Zeus begins to bark at his excitement. This is why I’ve been so secretive about our past. For this little boy to have the confidence to be able to laugh, run, and be free to be the child he’s meant to be.
“Well, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes!”
I look up to find Ash at the opening between the kitchen and living room and Hunter coming out of the bathroom, topless. I raise my eyebrow in Ash’s direction, but she just shrugs her shoulders. Oh, today’s conversation is definitely going to be fun. I’m going to need more caffeine to carry on with the rest of this day. And it’s only nine in the morning!
“How was everything here last night?” I get up from the floor, make my way into the living room, and have a seat on the couch for just a few minutes.
“It was great! Ash brought ribs from Momma B’s and then we made chocolate chip cookies. I’m sorry we didn’t save any but Hunter eats a lot,” Logan explains, talking a mile a minute.
“Hey now, bud, you’re not supposed to throw me under the bus like that!” Hunter says while throwing on a black t-shirt that he’s paired with stonewashed jeans.
I can see why Ash has the hots for him. In my books, he falls a bit short in comparison to Gavin, but he is attractive.
Logan shrugs. “Sorry. Then we watched a movie Ash brought over. What was it called again?”
“A Goofy Movie, Bub,” she replies while putting stuff away in the kitchen.
“Yeah! It was really funny, and Ash said I can keep it so you, me, and Gavin can watch it together.” Logan finally finishes with his updates and goes back to sitting next to Zeus.
“Sounds like you guys had a great night.”
“Yeah! The bestest! What are we doing today? Can Zeus stay with us?” Logan jumps from question to question.
“Actually, how do you feel about hanging out with Gavin and Zeus for a little bit while Ash and I run some errands?” I watch as his eyes grow larger and larger by the second. It takes everything not to burst out laughing.
“That would be awesome! When is Gavin coming over?”
“Actually, you’re going over to his place once I get changed. We’re also going out together once I get back, so make sure you bring your backpack and pack an extra t-shirt, a sweater, and your hat. Maybe even one of your coloring books, Gavin said we’d be driving for a bit.”
“Awesome! This is gonna be the bestest day ever!” Logan jumps up and rushes to his room with Zeus hot on his tail.
“Two dates in a row, last night must have been fire.” Ash grins from ear to ear.
“Thanks for watching him last night, you guys, it means a lot, and Logan seems to have had the bestest night.”
“No problem, baby girl. Anytime. Gavin still at his place?” Hunter asks.
“Yeah, should be.”
“I’m gonna go bug him for a bit before heading into the shop. Some of us have to make money.”
He comes close and hugs me before stepping into Ash’s space and placing a kiss on her forehead. Oh. My. God! She practically melts right there at his feet.
“Catch ya later, Bub!” Hunter calls out to Logan as he reaches the front door. Logan comes rushing out of his room with Zeus close behind. His backpack is bursting with who knows what inside.
“Hunter, are you going to Gavin’s?” he asks, out of breath.
“Yeah, Bub. You ready to go?”
“Yes!” Logan shouts and runs past me toward Hunter.
I’m stunned as I watch my little guy go right by me without as much as a glance back. Look at that, he’s already trading me in. When did he grow up so fast?
“Hey, Bub, aren’t you forgetting something?” Hunter points in my direction.
“Mom! Sorry!” Logan drops his bag, runs back to me, and wraps his little arms around my waist.
“Is it okay if I go to Gavin’s now? Please!”
Oh, man.
“Did you have breakfast yet?” I ask as I look up at Ash. She nods her head in agreement while Logan shouts yes.
“Did you brush your teeth?” I look down at him.
“Oh, I forgot. But I’ll do that right now and then can I go to Gavin’s?”
“Go brush your teeth, and you need to still thank Ash and Hunter for watching you last night. Then you can go to Gavin’s.” I ruffle up his hair.
“Woohoo!”
“That kid is something else. But too darn cute,” Ash says while grabbing her bag.
“Yeah, he’s something, all right. He definitely keeps me on my toes.” I shake my head, smiling while I rub Zeus’s head. We walk over to the front door so I can do a quick bag check, he has more stuff in there than he will use, but at least he packed the items I told him to. Within a couple of minutes, he’s running back to us and giving Ash a tight hug to thank her.
“All right, Bubba. You listen to Gavin, don’t forget to say please and thank you, and don’t forget to ask to use the bathroom if you need to go. I’ll see you back here a bit after one o’clock.” I press a quick kiss to his head as he waves me off and rushes out the door.
“All right, Momma. You have ten minutes to get ready and meet me down by the trucks. I only have about fifteen minutes of self-control left in my system before I pounce on you. I want every single detail about last night and no edits! Get moving!” Ash swats my butt and heads toward the door. Before she can make it down the hall, I remember Gavin is going to need Logan’s car seat. I call out and ask her to get it out of my truck and drop it off at Gavin’s.
“Sure thing, Momma, now hurry up!”
I know Ash genuinely cares about Logan and me. Telling her about my past might be what I need to do in order to figure out how to tell Gavin. With that, I make my way to my room to grab new clothes and take the quickest shower ever.
It’s going to be okay. It has to be.
Chapter Twenty
For over two months, I’ve been searching. Two fucking months!
She thought she could hide from me? Take what’s mine? That bitch has another thing coming.
She already took so much of my life, and still, she thought she could take the only thing that was left of my butterfly. That fucking bitch! She thought she could take what’s mine and go play house with some musclehead!
She’s going to pay! She’s going to pay with her pathetic life!
I’m coming for you, Bailey, and when I get you, you’re going to beg and scream for me to end your pathetic excuse of a life.
And I’m going to enjoy every fucking second of watching you suffer and hearing you beg!
Chapter Twenty-One
Bailey
Heading over to meet Ash by our trucks, I feel as if I’m being watched from a distance. Chills run up my spine and leave an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I shake it off to being worried about having to tell Gavin, sooner rather than later, about my past.
“From the look on your face, I say we head to my place where we can talk without an audience. Sound good?” Ash squeezes my shoulder and offers a soft smile.
“Sounds good. Lead the way.” We both hop in our own trucks, and I wait until Ash backs out onto the main road, then follow behind.
~
“All right, girl. Spill your soul. Momma is
all ears.” Ash hands me a large mug of steaming hot coffee that does wonders to my senses but nothing to ease the unsettling feeling. “Bailey! What is it with your face looking like someone kicked Zeus’s ass? You had an overnight date with Gavin freaking McKnight! What gives?” Ash practically screams.
Ugh.
“It’s not about last night. Last night was beyond perfect. Everything from the flowers to dinner, to coming home together, to this morning, was just perfect.” I let out a frustrated groan.
“Okay, although I want every detail, especially about when you two got home, let’s get to the part that has you all twisted up.” Ash reaches over from her side of the couch and squeezes my leg.
You have to tell someone. Don’t be stupid, you know the type of man he is. What if he finds a way to find you and no one knows? Just once, I wish my inner voice didn’t have a point.
“Listen, Ash. What I’m about to tell you, you cannot tell a single soul. You can’t even repeat it back to yourself, got it?” I say, my voice void of any emotion while giving her a stone-cold look, letting her know I’m dead serious and not fucking around.
“Shit, B, this sounds like it’s fucked up. You got my word but under one condition.”
“I won’t agree to anything without knowing your condition first.”
“Fair enough. I won’t say anything unless I feel it is a threat to you, Logan, or any one of us.”
She looks me dead in the eye, and at that moment, I realize I can trust Ash with my life and Logan’s. As scary as that is for me, it’s damn comforting to know I have someone who genuinely has my back.
“Fair enough, but know I would never put anyone in harm’s way.” I reassure her.
“I know you wouldn’t. But I also know you wouldn’t ask for help if you were in danger. Now, we got exactly two and a half hours for you to tell me everything that has you looking about ready to throw up.”
We settle against the cushions on her soft gray couch and sip our coffees before I plunge into a story I have yet to tell a soul.
Just Breathe Page 9
