by Rose Pearson
“She will recover, my lord,” Doctor Thomas said, gently, putting one hand on Gideon’s arm, thinking him to be distraught over Georgina’s condition. “It will just take time.”
Gideon smiled and nodded, shaking off his dark thoughts. This was not the time to be selfish and to consider all he had lost and all that could have been. This was the time to consider Georgina and what it was she required of him. He had made a promise and now it was time for him to fulfill it.
He would marry her, just as he had agreed. The love he felt for Josephine would have to linger on in his heart and mind but it would never find fulfillment. It was nothing more than a dark, painful memory that caught at his mind and tore at it, hard. He would never be able to make her his wife. That was a dream he would have to forget. Georgina was his future and he was determined now to be entirely devoted to that.
“I have sent some of my men out to see if they can find her father,” he explained, as the doctor picked up his bag. “I fear he too has fallen ill with the fever, for he is not in his estate nor is he in London.”
The doctor nodded slowly, his expression grave. “Miss Wells has been asking for him but I thought it best to leave such questions to you,” he replied, quietly. “I will come back this evening to see how she fares, if that pleases you.”
“Of course,” Gideon exclaimed at once. “Georgina must have the best of care, doctor.”
The doctor smiled. “And so she shall. Oh, I almost forgot.” He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Gideon. “Josephine has written to you and asked me to deliver it. She hopes you will be able to give her an answer by this evening.”
Gideon’s heart picked up speed. “An answer?” he repeated, looking at the letter in confusion. “About what?”
Chuckling, the doctor lifted one shoulder. “She would not say but I hardly think it will be anything too terrible, my lord,” he replied, as Gideon tried to wipe the astonished expression from his face. “Josephine is a remarkable young woman and I am quite sure that whatever it is contained in that letter will be for either your good or someone else’s.”
“Where is she to go, once this epidemic lifts?” Gideon asked, unable to prevent himself from ensuring that Josephine would be quite safe. “Does she have somewhere to go?”
A smile caught Doctor Thomas’ lips. “She is to help me, Lord Dunstable. I have a small practice with a room adjoining it that currently lies empty. She can live there and assist me with the daily workings of the practice.”
Gideon nodded, feeling almost hollow inside as he realized just how far apart their worlds would be, once again. “I am glad to hear it.”
“I would not let her go back onto the streets, not after the work she has done,” Doctor Thomas finished, putting on his hat. “It is good of you to think of her, my lord.”
“How could I not, after all she did for my family?” Gideon asked, a little hoarsely. “Thank you for this letter, doctor. Please assure Josephine that I will have my answer ready and waiting for you this evening.”
The doctor smiled, nodded and excused himself, leaving Gideon standing alone in the hallway with the letter in his hand. The letter that Josephine had written.
Looking down at it, Gideon felt his heart fill with thoughts of her all over again. He was so desperately torn and yet he knew that he really did not have any particular choice in what he did as regarded his engagement. It would have been quite different had Georgina not become ill but as things now stood, he had no opportunity to step away from it as he had planned.
Feeling the need to be somewhere private, Gideon walked into the empty drawing-room, sat down by the fire and opened the letter. Reading it quickly, he felt his shoulders slump, his spirits sinking low. There was no profession of love, no words of sweetness or the like – not that he should have expected there to be, of course, given that he had already made his position quite clear to her. Instead, she was simply asking that he extend a kindness towards the older man who had been working at the Devil’s basement alongside herself and Doctor Thomas. Sam, his name was, and whilst Josephine made it clear that he would never be a footman or valet, she thought he would do well as a stable hand or gardener.
It was not in Gideon’s heart to refuse. He knew who Sam was, recalling how the older man had limped slightly as he’d made his way from bed to bed. He had always presumed that Sam had somewhere to go once the epidemic was over, but perhaps he had been wrong.
Sighing heavily, he folded up the letter and put it back in his pocket. He would, of course, write to Josephine and ensure that Sam was taken back to his estate, once the disease had enjoyed its fill of London. To give the older man a livelihood and security was the least Gideon could do, after all Sam had done to help others.
Rubbing his hand over his eyes, Gideon tried to let all he thought and felt for Josephine simply fade away. He longed to feel something for Georgina, even in her weakened state, but his heart simply refused to warm to her. She was not Josephine. That was the crux of it. As far as Gideon was concerned, there was no other. And yet, to do what was right meant having both his and Josephine’s heart broken.
He had no doubt that Josephine cared for him also, even though she had not said as much. The memories of the time they’d spent together lingered on in his mind and Gideon smiled to himself as he thought of them. How she had laughed when he’d tried to help her with the cooking, mocking him gently and bringing a flush of heat to his face. He had not known what to do or how to help but had done his best to do so and she had appreciated him for that. When they had walked down by the lake, he had felt his thoughts so much in turmoil that he had struggled to get those words of affection from his lips and yet she had not turned away from him. She had stayed in his arms, looking at him as though he were both the most wonderful and the most terrifying man in the world.
Of course, then the fever had taken him and he had lost himself within it, only to declare his love for her in a single moment of clarity before delving back into his delirium. At least she knew that he cared for her, he thought, his brows furrowing together as he remembered being lost in the heat and the pain of the fever.
And then, something else came into his mind.
A kiss.
His eyes closed tightly as he struggled to bring that memory back completely. A kiss? He had not kissed Josephine, had he? Surely he had not had the strength to raise himself from his bed and press his lips to hers! Which meant that it must have been she who had kissed him.
Trying to still himself completely, Gideon let his mind fill with nothing but thoughts of Josephine. Slowly, it began to come clear in his mind. He had felt the sensation of her lips on his and had not been able to move, had not been able to reciprocate despite the desperate longing of his heart.
“Why do I love you?”
His lips spoke the words aloud, the cloud of darkness clearing for a moment as he remembered what she had whispered just after she had kissed him. Her wretched words brought him a sharp pain, realizing just how tormented she had been in the knowledge that she loved him but yet would never be able to find the fulfillment of that love. His breathing was ragged as he opened his eyes, startled to find dampness on his cheeks. This memory, whilst wonderful, had made it all the more painful to him. Their love was to be unrequited, it seemed. He had gone from a man who did not think that love was of any importance to a marriage, to being a man so deeply in love that he could hardly bear the thought of being without it. He sat back and let the tears come. They flowed down his cheeks, unabated, bringing with them the fresh sting of a broken heart.
“I am to retire, I think.”
Gideon saw the butler bow and noted how pale the gentleman was. “I think you should ensure that both you and the rest of your staff rest well this evening,” Gideon continued, with a little more firmness than perhaps the butler intended, for he started visibly and looked aghast at Gideon.
“If I have been failing in my duties, my lord, then I can only apologize,” the man sta
mmered, still horrified by what Gideon had suggested. “I –”
“No, no, you quite misunderstand me,” Gideon replied, with a broad smile. “I do not mean that you and the staff are doing poorly, but rather that I know full well what it is like to recover from scarlet fever.” He saw the butler visibly relax and got to his feet, wanting to calm the gentleman further. “You are short of staff, I know, but I only intend to reside here with Miss Georgina and her companion for a short time. Then, when her companion is well enough to take care of Miss Georgina, I shall return to my estate to make the necessary preparations for her there, once we are wed. You must not overburden yourself or the rest of the staff during this time. I am quite content, truly.”
The butler inclined his head, his features a good deal more relaxed. “I quite understand, my lord,” he replied, quietly. “I thank you for your consideration. I will make sure the staff take a rest tomorrow morning, as you have suggested.”
“And I will not require anything until noon, I should think,” Gideon replied, glancing at the clock and realizing just how late it was. “And even then, it will just be coffee and something simple to eat.”
The butler nodded. “Of course, my lord. Is there anything else?”
“No. I thank you.” Dismissing the butler, Gideon looked about the drawing room for his book and, picking it up, made his way to the door. Walking quickly up the staircase to where his bedchamber was – as far away from Miss Georgina’s bedchamber as possible, Gideon reflected on the fact that were things as they normally were in London, this would all be seen as quite improper. Georgina’s reputation would be ruined and they would have been wed almost immediately. However, as things stood, this was perfectly acceptable, especially since Georgina’s father could not be found.
Making sure to walk quietly along the hallway so as not to disturb Georgina, whom he expected to be sleeping, Gideon was suddenly caught by the sound of voices coming from her bedchamber. Thinking that it was a chattering maid, he made to turn around and give the young girl a piece of his mind, instructing her that the lady of the house needed to rest, only to come to a dead stop as he realized there was a low voice coming from the room. This was no maid, and it certainly was not Georgina’s companion who, from the sound of the snores coming from the next bedchamber, was not sitting with Georgina, deep in conversation.
“Really, Doctor Thomas, you are jesting!”
Gideon blinked rapidly, a little surprised to hear Georgina’s voice so filled with life when she had barely said a word to him that afternoon when he had visited her. Indeed, she had been sitting up against the pillows but had not looked as though she wished to talk with him. He had tried for some minutes to ask her how she was and what he might do for her, but she had simply stated that she was quite all right but a little tired and needed to rest. Of course, understanding the weakness that came after the fever, he had left her be but now to hear her talking and laughing with Doctor Thomas, it made Gideon wonder whether or not she had been entirely truthful with him.
“Are you to stay in London, Miss Wells?”
Gideon closed his eyes, trying to force himself to step away, to leave the conversation to be between Doctor Thomas and Georgina alone, and yet he could not.
“Please, Doctor Thomas, do call me Georgina,” he heard Georgina say. “You have done so much for me already and I do find the propriety of it all a little ridiculous when I am here, practically swaddled in sheets!”
Doctor Thomas chuckled. “Very well then. Georgina, it is.” There was a short pause and even Gideon, from where he stood, felt it laden with an almost anticipatory tension.
“Then tell me, Georgina,” Doctor Thomas continued, his voice a little lower than before. “Are you to remain in London for some time, or are you to return to Lord Dunstable’s estate very soon?”
Georgina sighed heavily. “I will remain here until I have recovered enough strength to leave, Doctor Thomas.”
“I see.” Again, another pause and it was all Gideon could do not to look into the room to see what they were about.
“Then I will come and see you again tomorrow afternoon,” Doctor Thomas continued, his manner a little more brisk. “I will need to try and ensure that you recover as quickly as possible, Miss Wells. I cannot imagine that you are eager to delay your wedding.”
Georgina said nothing and, after a moment, Gideon heard the chair behind pushed just a little as the doctor rose to his feet.
“I should return to the church now,” Doctor Thomas said, quietly. “I have taken up too much of your time and you need to rest, Miss Wells. I –”
“No, Doctor Thomas, please.”
Startled, Gideon lifted his brows in surprise. Was Georgina asking the doctor to stay longer?
“Might you sit with me for a short while? I am not yet tired and I feel as though I am in desperate need of company.”
Doctor Thomas cleared his throat. “Perhaps I might go in search of Lord Dunstable, Miss Wells.”
“Georgina,” she insisted, a little more firmly. “And no, you need not bother him. I am quite sure my fiancé has retired already, Doctor Thomas. Please, will you not sit with me?”
Her voice had become almost wheedling and Gideon felt his teeth set on edge. He disliked that about Georgina intently, hating that she could so often use such a thing to try and force him to do as she asked.
Doctor Thomas, however, did not appear to be displeased by it. “Then, I shall stay if you ask it of me,” he said, slowly, the sound of the chair scraping along the floor catching Gideon’s ears. “But only for a short time. There are others that I need to see, Georgina.”
“Thank you,” she said, a good deal more gently. “I must say that I have been enjoying your company of late, Doctor Thomas. Thank you for being so willing to sit with me.”
“You are quite welcome,” Doctor Thomas replied, his voice now a little softer than before. “Now, what shall we talk about?”
Gideon did not want to linger. Instead, he turned on his heel and carefully and quietly made his way back towards his own bedchamber instead of lingering at Georgina’s. He had his own opinion about his betrothed so openly seeking the company and conversation of a doctor so late into the night, but then again, he could not exactly criticize her for doing so when he had done almost the very same with Josephine.
Wandering back to his bedchamber, Gideon felt his mind begin to flood with questions, finding himself rather unsettled by what he had just overheard. Of course, there came with that a good dose of guilt that he had been listening in to another’s private conversation when he ought to have simply returned to his bed – but why was Georgina so willing to listen and talk with the doctor but had been so unwilling to have him even sit with her for a short time?
Still confused and a little troubled by this, Gideon found himself unwilling to retire to bed. Instead, he sat by the fire and let his gaze land on the flickering flames, trying to find some peace and comfort in a situation that suddenly seemed to be turning itself on its head, all over again.
16
The next few days passed with an increasing slowness. Georgina declared herself to be still much too weak and tired to even consider traveling to the Dunstable estate and, given that he could not exactly argue with her, Gideon found himself having to do nothing other than wait for the lady. There was no point in returning to the estate and making preparations for her and for their wedding if he had no idea of when she might be willing to attend with him.
On occasion, Gideon would find himself wandering through the streets of London, always finding his feet turning towards Smithfield Market and the church that held the Devil’s basement, but for whatever reason, he never went within. Perhaps it was because he did not want to bring himself any additional pain in seeing Josephine, or perhaps it was because he did not know what he would say if he saw her.
His heart was still full of her, no matter what he tried to do. Georgina, even in her weakness, still grated on him. She was growing increasingly dem
anding, even though she had her companion and at least two maids to care for her, and only really quietened whenever Doctor Thomas came by to visit – which he had begun to do fairly often. It was as though he could not keep away, although he continued to state to Gideon that he needed to ensure that Miss Wells was not weakening and was, as he hoped, continuing to grow stronger with every day that passed.
Gideon often heard them both talking, for the bedchamber door was always left ajar for propriety’s sake, but he found it almost laughable that there should be such considerations when the doctor’s visits lasted for hours upon hours. There were fewer and fewer patients at the Devil’s basement, from what Gideon understood, and Doctor Thomas found this new patient of his to be something of a refreshment. Apparently talking to Georgina brought the doctor a new lease of life, freeing him from the pain and difficulties he had endured these last weeks. Or so Doctor Thomas had said when Gideon had asked him whether or not something was wrong with Georgina, given that he had spent a long while with her.
The man had flushed and looked away, but it had not prevented him from returning and doing the same all over again. In fact, it seemed that both the doctor and Georgina were eager for these visits to continue, given just how delighted they appeared to be with one another’s company. And yet, whenever Gideon went in to speak to Georgina, she did not appear to care much for his conversation or the like. She usually fell fairly silent and did not look at him much, claiming tiredness for her lack of conversation and often sending him away to fetch her something or other.
A slow hope had begun to burn in Gideon’s heart and, whilst he had not questioned Georgina on the subject, he had begun to let himself believe that things might come to a rather satisfactory conclusion after all. He had never really believed that Georgina would allow herself to stoop as low as to marry a doctor but, mayhap if the doctor was given a little encouragement to ask her, then Gideon might find himself in a position where he was free to marry someone entirely different.
