by Ted Allan
ROBERT
Shut up. Shut up!
SARAH
How long has she been an anthropologist?
ROBERT
About four years.
SARAH
How long has she been your girl friend?
ROBERT
I told you. Almost a year.
SARAH
That’s pretty long for you, isn’t it?
ROBERT
A record.
SARAH
How come your marriage lasted so long?
ROBERT
Fear.
SARAH
Of what?
ROBERT
I don’t know. Afraid to make the break, be on my own. I don’t know.
SARAH
Are you going to marry Susan?
ROBERT
I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever get married again. I’m not sure. What about a little snooze? I’ll sing you to sleep – like I used to when we were kids. Okay?
SARAH
I’d like to get married again.
ROBERT
Perhaps you will.
SARAH
No. I won’t.
ROBERT
No you won’t.
SARAH
Yes I will.
ROBERT
Yes you will.
SARAH
Then marry me.
ROBERT
I’m busy this season.
(She suddenly gets very hostile)
SARAH
No matter what period of my life, it’s me. You can’t beat me into submission. I look at things my way. You your way. Shall we dance? Why can’t I stare if I want to? If you think when I’m thinking things out I’m manic then thank you very much. I like to be manic. I curtsy and leave.
(She curtsies and leaves. He is exhausted and tries to sleep. She returns, wearing a black wig and smoking a cigarette. She puts on a record of ‘Please Don’t Talk About Me When I’m Gone’ very loud and does an act as if she’s on a stage or a night club performer dancing as she sings.
It blasts very loud. Robert lowers the volume. She knows only some of the words, hums the ones she doesn’t know)
ROBERT
You’re getting high again. You seem to have it in waves. Take a pill.
SARAH
You take a pill! You come in waves too, you know! I’d rather take a bath. I don’t understand pharmacy and I like to know what I’m eating in any shape or form. (Shouts) That’s my principle!
(Sarah starts to undress and leaves the room, returning in various stages of dishabille, until she is in brassiere and panties, and finally returns with a towel covering her. She does a strip tease, showing glimpses of one breast then the other to an unseen audience)
I’m trying to make a point! They stare at us! They do speak so cultured here, don’t they?
(Mimics a Mayfair accent) Oh do take a shit beside the sea, boys, oh do take a dump beside the sea! Yes, utterly charming cunt, aren’t you, darling? Oh, have I shocked your fat middleclass asses? Do do the do-do-doodoos. (Normal) Up your fat ass. We’re so ugly, aren’t we? (Mayfair again) You mean to say this girl is Canadian? They sound so American dont’ they? Yeah, I mean to say, Australians sound Australian and New Zealanders sound New Zealy, but Canadians sound Amurrican. We do ‘tis true. And yet not quite Amurrican. More North American really. We’re not going to make our mark in this world with our English accents. Mais oui, non, sacrement, merde shit man and a coupla excuse me for living. The British give me big pain in the arse. No wonder they lost their Empah. Still, give credit. Our beloved country has made its contributions. We gave the world hockey, Banting, and Bethune, but we’ll be remembered best for giving plutonium to India. (Indian accent) We thank you, Canada, for helping us solve our problem of overpopulation and undernourishment. Two hundred million starving so make an H-Bomb. Come to India to study the profound blessings of transcendental meditation, the only way to bring peace and enlightenment to mankind. (Normal) I could bring peace and enlightenment to mankind, if they’d let me. Shit. Two thirds of the world is still starving. Feed them! Or how about a glimpse of titty? Or the right nostril? Piece of ass or does a flash of heel grab you? There are different kinds of afflictions and affections. Love can change. Into hate. Or into friendship. Ours turned into both, didn’t it? It has nothing to do with incest. To love or not to love, that is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler to give it a label and thus stop thinking about it or face it as the sea of troubles it is. How come you’re not writing this down? It’s the best I’ve done yet. Where was I? Afflictions and affections. Jack kept a dinner party amused for an hour describing how I spill tea. Such a funny man, such a successful money-making mother-fucker, a smiler-salesman of a man who will undoubtedly run for public office one day and get elected and then inflict us with his incompetence as he enriches himself and his fellow bandits at our expense. Three cheers for democracy and inflation and a small cheer for Russia, God help us, for the alternatives they offer us. Fine weather we’re having, aren’t we? I wouldn’t burn a fly let alone a person so I have to be put away but they run armies and governments and are called heroes. It’s a silly sort of speech. Are you your sister’s keeper? You have kept telling us you are but you’re a flop at it!
If they finally do explode the H-Bomb it’s going to be one big fire, let’s face it. When I smoke a cigarette it’s burning up atoms. That’s why it might be cancer forming. Something about cancer that’s rather fascinating. Anybody could find a cure for it, but they’re too busy making money! Are you kinky for elbows perhaps, or are you strictly an ear, nose and tit man? Bloody morons all of you making us into pieces of flesh and getting glass-eyed over it.
ROBERT
(Almost at breaking point) Take a pill. Take a pill. Go to sleep now!
(She stares at him. He tries to outstare her and he is angry as if she is trying to do something harmful to him)
SARAH
You don’t like my eyes? Should I tear them out? Have you ever liked anything I’ve done?
ROBERT
No. Never. I never said a nice word about anything you did. And I’m responsible for everything bad that ever happend to you.
SARAH
(Whispers) Yes! Directly and indirectly! You and your fellow men!
ROBERT
(Referring to her stare) Just what do you think you’re going to accomplish by that?
SARAH
Then come over and say hello to me. I’m a person too.
(He yawns sleepily. She starts writing silently in her notebook again)
Don’t interrupt me! I’m trying to write about my daughter. Don’t interrupt.
(She looks up)
Are you trying to work?
ROBERT
(Exhausted) I’ve got to get some sleep! I can’t cope if I don’t get sleep. I must sleep!
(He falls asleep on the couch)
(She waits. He’s asleep. She weeps silently for a few seconds)
SARAH
There was a time you felt everything I felt, no matter what I said. That was ten thousand years ago, before we all got separated from everything and from each other. So my eyelids droop.
(She goes to the window to look out)
So much civilization here. It’s time it made somebody happy. I flipped because of the way you were when I came here. You went to Corsica with Albie. You come back and go straight to Susan. It could have driven a healthy person crazy, let alone me.
(She moves to hug him, as if what she said was cruel and hurtful to him. This wakes him up)
I don’t want to hurt you. I want to stay with you all the time and you only want me part of the time. Is that the secret? Should I leave? I like being your sister. It’s not easy feeling so lost and alone.
(She begins to stroke his hair)
Do you mind my stroking your hair?
ROBERT
No.
SARAH
I used to see Mummy do it. I always wanted to do it.
(She lies down on the couch, her words becoming inaudible)
Psychiatrists. They put you into cubby holes. If you don’t fit one they put you into another. I’ve seen so many I could give a course. Same old crap, infantile neglect, adolescent trauma, repressed terror, loss of identity.
(She gets up to go to her room. We hear her O.S.)
I’m going to write a letter to the Prime Minister. Or should I write to Mao Tse Tung? Who’s going to win out? Microbes?
(Robert takes a drink of whisky. Swallows fast. Then takes another drink and lies down on the couch, exhausted.
Sarah returns, dressed, the black wig off, her own hair now)
SARAH
I’m going out.
ROBERT
(Getting up – slightly drunk) You’re not going anywhere.
SARAH
I have to watch the sinking of western civilization.
ROBERT
Watch it from the window. You’re not going out.
SARAH
Why not?
ROBERT
Because you may decide to take your dress off in the street.
SARAH
So what? Is that hurting anybody? Do I have to be locked up because I might take my dress off in the street? Society says no dresses off in the street. I take my dress off. Lock her up! You’re treading on dangerous ground! (Vicious suddenly) I’m warning you billy boy. I’m sick and tired of always ending up with someone telling me I’m sick. (Screams) I’m warning you! Don’t try to ruin me again!
(He suddenly rushes at her, infuriated)
ROBERT
Now you take two of these pills the doctor gave me! I’ve had enough!
SARAH
(Screaming) I won’t! I won’t!
ROBERT
You will!
(He struggles with her and throws her to the floor. He forces the two pills into her mouth. She screams and gags. He holds her mouth closed, and keeps her hands fixed. He has one knee on her chest on the floor. He is brutal with her. He keeps holding her mouth closed, brutally)
Swallow it! Swallow it! Swallow it, damn you!
(Slowly she swallows. He gets up. She coughs and gets up. She goes out. He sits down, exhausted and takes another drink. She returns with her travelling bag)
SARAH
All right. I’m ready.
ROBERT
For what?
SARAH
All right. I’m ready.
ROBERT
For what?
SARAH
For the hospital. Let’s go. I want to get there while I’m still conscious.
ROBERT
I’m not taking you to any hospital now. Those pills are only to make you sleep. I told you I would never lie to you again. Doctor Williams is trying to get you into a special place where they don’t give shock treatments. It may take seven to ten days…God help me.
SARAH
Then why did you force me to take those pills?
ROBERT
To calm you down. So you can get some sleep. So, I’ll get some sleep. So you won’t drive me mad like you’re trying to.
SARAH
Why do I have to be put away? Why can’t you take care of me? If you were ill I’d take care of you.
ROBERT
You need constant attention. You cannot be left alone.
SARAH
Then give me constant attention. Don’t leave me alone. You owe it to me. You and you alone owe it to me. We know what you did to me – don’t we, big brother?
(They hold each other’s stare. He is uncomfortable, looking guilty)
ACT II
Scene 1 The next day.
Sarah is alone painting. She now wears an auburn wig. She stops and goes to try the front door. We hear her banging at it. She returns.
SARAH
Bloody idiot. Locking me in.
(She resumes her painting. Then she takes a look at what she’s done and spits at it. She looks at the saliva running down the painting and is suddenly pleased with the effect so she starts spitting more, using the brush to mix in the saliva)
Action painters. Feet painters. Spit painters.
(The telephone rings. She stares at it but doesn’t go to answer it)
Hello. He’s not in.
(Phone rings again)
You deaf or something?
(It rings again)
Worst telephone system in the world. He’s not in:
(It rings again)
Maybe it’s him.
(She picks up the receiver and uses a Chinese accent)
Mistah Waller’s residence…oh hello…I’m not feeling too well…Yes, I’ll tell him…You’ll have to wait…I have to find a pencil and paper …It is Susan, isn’t it?…You’ll have to wait, I’ll get a pencil and paper.
(She puts receiver on table and stares at the phone. She looks distracted, sees her painting and goes to it. She paints for a moment. Then looks at the phone and walks to it)
You’ll have to wait…I’m looking for a paper and pencil…
(She puts receiver down, finds a paper and pencil and places them beside the phone. Then she leaves room to come back with a pitcher full of water and waters the flowers. She goes to phone)
You’ll have to wait…
(She leaves the room with pitcher and returns to sweep up. Then she decides to hell with this and throws some papers around the room. And goes to the phone again)
Hello…You still there?…I’m looking for a pencil and paper…Where? On the table? Oh, yes! Here it is. Sorry to have kept you waiting. What’s the number?
(She writes in a long sweeping movement, obviously not writing the number, making circular doodles)
That’ll be nice. You haven’t visited this place since I arrived have you? If you had you’d have noticed the dent on the left-hand side of his bed…He sleeps on the right hand side…How come there’s a dent on the empty pillow on the left side?…I’m not trying to make trouble! I’m trying to convey truth! Truth should be conveyed! How else will truth spread if it is not conveyed? …That hooked you, didn’t it? How much do you love him and how much will you forgive him for? …I’ll forgive him for anything. That’s how much I love him…Does it really shock you?…Why do you think I got ill the first time?…You want words, I’ll give you words. You want truth, I’ll give you truth…Bobby and I were always madly in love…We still are. He couldn’t face it so he drugged me. That’s why he came to London…What I’m trying to say? There’s a dent on the left pillow is all I’m saying and it comes from somebody’s head and the head ain’t his…I’m telling you this because I think it’s better if you know …If you found out later it might be destructive …hearing it from me, you’ll learn to live with it…He won’t be able to tell you. He can’t face the dent on his left pillow because that dent is Sarah sister…You want to hear something even funnier?…You sure?…Our whole family’s that way. My dear Daddy did it to me and that’s why we’re all mad…But I’m the one they lock up. But why aren’t they locked up too? Where’s the justice of it all?…You still want him to call you?…Brave little girl. We’ll see how much you can love, or know what it’s all about…Of course I’ll tell him you called…But don’t tell him what I’ve told you. He’ll kill me. He already tried a couple of times…Bye lover…
(She replaces receiver and returns to her painting)
We’re now going to get a lesson in love. Hers. His. Mine. Ohhhhhhhh! Who’s responsible for whom? Me. Truth of truth. Evolution, I hate you! You didn’t get far enough to have me around! Big brain reached out saw the truth and past screwed you up. The tragic equation. X equals where we are. Shit!
(Turns slowly as if she’s heard something)
I beg your pardon! (Listens) That’s very astute. The pauses they put in you fill in for them. Astute. The day is for telling jokes. (Giggles) If the world is round I’m a bit round myself and the ultimate connection is me here, the world, the universe, the beginnings, the always there, the mystery. And I make it
all mediocre saying I’ll fall off round the world.
