by R. E. Bond
We didn’t speak again until I peered into his eyes a while later.
“I know the Soldiers aren’t done with me, but did you want me to stay with you tonight at your place so you aren’t sleeping alone?” I asked softly, his broken gaze boring deeply into mine.
“Please,” he breathed, and a tiny piece of my heart fell back into place.
Tyler
I didn’t get any sleep that night.
I curled up with Rory in my arms and just watched her chest rise and fall with each breath that she took.
It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep once she’d had a hot shower and I got her into bed, and I didn’t blame her for passing out on me.
I called Skeeter to talk to him some more when she’d been in the shower, wanting to know more details.
I should’ve known she’d gone into some kind of shock induced melt-down.
I should’ve known that just by looking at her when she showed up to tell us what had happened.
She twitched in her sleep, making me sigh.
Caden had told me not long after she’d moved in with him and Josie that she’d had nightmares a lot, but they’d stopped when we all started sleeping with her.
She whined in her sleep as if she was in pain, so I shuffled further into her and tightened my hold around her until she fell silent again.
We could have lost her.
We could have fucking lost her.
That hit me like a bucket of ice.
I’d manage to get through life without Slash, despite the fucking pain, but how would I cope if it had been Rory?
I wouldn’t have.
At all.
I watched her until the sun started to rise, and then I watched her some more.
She was beautiful.
Even her damage was fucking beautiful.
I stared at the scars on her shoulder from where Skeeter had sliced her in the past.
I continued to stare at that part of her until she woke up, fixing a little piece of me when the first thing she did when she opened her pretty blue eyes, was smile at me.
Rory
“Morning. Pancakes?” Jensen asked gently as I dragged myself into Tyler’s kitchen the next morning.
I frowned as I accepted the coffee from him as he slid it over.
“What are you doing here? Didn’t you stay with Lukas last night?”
He gave me a small shrug as he placed a few pancakes on a plate and pushed it towards me.
“Yeah, I did.”
“So, why are you here so early? Where’s Lukas?” I asked slowly, watching him physically flinch, telling me something had gone wrong. “Jense, talk to me. What’s up?”
He leaned against the bench casually, meeting my gaze head on.
“We had a fight this morning.”
“Over?”
“You.”
“What for this time?”
“I wanted to come and check on you but he didn’t want me to. He wants me to stay out of all of this,” he replied, a hint of anger in his tone.
It wasn’t much, but it was there.
I picked at my pancakes, keeping my voice gentle.
“Don’t push him away, Jense. Not for me.”
It hurt that Lukas hadn’t pushed his sudden hate for me aside to check on me as well.
He hadn’t even acknowledged me when I’d shown up with Skeeter, covered in blood and tears trailing down my face.
“Rory,” he said firmly with affection, making me look up from my food to give him my full attention.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not pushing him away. I love you just as much as I love him, so he needs to accept that. He still loves you, he’s just freaked out. He’s shit scared of you getting hurt, so he’s trying to cut himself off and hate you to stop it hurting him so bad if you do end up dead. Give him some time, okay? Once all of this dies down, he’ll relax again. Now, tell me what’s going on in your head so I can help you deal with it. You look ready to explode, baby.”
Lukas was pretending to hate me because I scared him?
Was it my fault for not reassuring him enough?
I didn’t make a big deal out of Jensen admitting he loved Lukas, but it soothed my heart a little to know they were finally coming to terms with their feelings for each other.
I turned my attention to my coffee, and he rolled his eyes as he moved around the bench and pulled himself up onto it right next to me.
“I know you won’t talk about crew shit, but talk about the other stuff. I know we aren’t together, but I still love the hell out of you. I just want to help. Seriously, don’t let Lukas bother you right now, okay? He’ll come around when you stop getting shot at.”
“You can’t help me, I’m a dead bitch walking and it’s only going to end one way. They’re going down for killing Slash. That’s the only thing that matters,” I spat angrily, making him wince as concern crossed his face.
“Shouldn’t you lay low so they don’t find you?”
I threw my coffee across the kitchen so that the cup shattered, pushing the chair back and causing the legs to screech on the floor as anger consumed me.
“I hope they find me, because I’ll be fucking waiting! I’m going to kill every single one of those assholes for what they did to him!”
“Baby…”
“No! Don’t tell me it’s a bad idea, because I don’t give a fuck! They killed him! He’s fucking gone and he’s not coming back and…”
My shouting cracked as the first sob made its way out without permission.
I leaned back against the solid chest behind me as a hand landed on my waist, knowing Caden’s touch from anywhere.
He turned me around to face him, cradling the back of my head and letting me bury my face in his chest as he stroked my hair calmly.
“We know, baby. C’mon, you’re coming home with me for a few hours.”
I didn’t argue, but I glanced at Jensen, speaking softly.
“For the record? I love the hell out of you too. Go back home to Lukas, he needs you too. Tell him I love him?”
It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference, but Lukas needed to know that I wasn’t letting him push me away.
I needed him.
He nodded, tidying up the mess from breakfast and the coffee I’d thrown, before leaving silently.
Caden placed his arm around my waist and led me towards the door, but I paused at the last minute.
“I can’t leave Ty.”
“Skeet’s upstairs with him. He knows I’m stealing you, I promise.”
“Why are you stealing me?” I asked quietly, earning a small smile.
“Because, you look like you need a beer and some quiet for a while. Mom’s not home, so it’s just us.”
I nodded, letting him drive me to his place, which gave me emotional whiplash all over again.
So much had gone wrong in just a few months, and I wished it could go back to how it used to be.
Caden grabbed both of us a beer before curling up on the couch and pulling me down beside him, giving me more space than he normally would.
“You want to just watch a movie and relax?”
His phone rang before I could reply, and he frowned as he answered it.
“Hello?”
He seemed confused for a moment, before sighing and rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, hang on. I’ll put you on speaker.”
He pressed the button before holding the phone out in front of us. “Alright, you’re on speaker.”
“You okay, hot shot?” Hunter asked with worry.
No point in lying about it.
“No.”
“Did you get any sleep? Diesel said you stayed with Ty. I assume he didn’t take the news too well?” He asked, and I scowled at the phone.
He could be so fucking stupid.
“His best friend was fucking murdered. Of course he wasn’t going to take it well.”
He was quiet for a moment before clearing his throat, so
unding embarrassed.
“Sorry. Look, I’ve tidied up the mess at your place from when it was shot up, and some of the guys fixed the damage. Just wanted to check in with you, since your phone battery is dead or off.”
“Shit, sorry. My phone’s at Slash’s.” Pain seared my chest at the mention of his name.
It fucking hurt, but I kept my face blank.
“It’s okay. If you need me, just let me know. Diesel’s going to call you later to meet up. He needs to talk about some shit with you before we all meet later at the shed,” he explained.
I was tired.
So fucking tired.
“Alright. Hey, thanks for calling.”
“Anytime. Stay safe,” then he hung up.
Caden raised an eyebrow as he watched me fiddle with my hands.
“Do you want me to take you somewhere else, or…”
I took his hand firmly in mine, shaking my head.
I was right where I wanted to be.
“No, thanks for bringing me here. Seriously, put a movie on and we can just hang out like we used to.”
“Without the sex though, right?” He joked, managing to pull a small smile of amusement from me.
“As much as a good hard fuck would be wicked right now, it’s a bad idea.”
“Sounds like a good idea to me, but I’ll respect your wishes and behave. Offer still stands though,” he smiled, tickling me under the chin playfully before reaching for the remote.
I watched him flick through options on the tv, before I gently eased myself into his lap.
“Still don’t want to fuck, but I just…”
“Hey, I’ve always got you, baby. Come here,” he assured me softly, cradling me on his lap properly and tucking my head under his chin.
I didn’t realize how tired I still was until I dozed off, only waking when voices roused me.
“Leave her to sleep man, she’ll be fine.”
“Lukas, fuck off. I’m not leaving her here while we run off to get drunk. Jesus Christ, she needs us right now, so don’t be such an asshole,” Caden snapped quietly, his hold on me tightening slightly as if Lukas was going to physically take me from him.
“She wanted to run with the wolves so it’s her problem to deal with now that she’s spiralling,” Lukas growled, but Caden sounded furious as he whisper yelled.
“You go then! I’m not bailing on her!”
“You’re an idiot. You have been since the first day she walked through your fucking door with her dad. You loved her from the moment you laid eyes on her, and look at all the shit it’s caused us. Because of her, your dad’s dead, two crews have rolled into town, Slash is fucking dead and…”
I jolted out of Caden’s lap, turning angry eyes on Lukas at his accusation.
“It’s not my fucking fault!”
“Who told you that? Diesel? Skeet and Ty lost their best friend because of you. He’s dead, Aurora, because of you sticking your fucking nose where it doesn’t belong for the hundredth time!” He shouted, fuelling the rage inside me.
I clenched my fists and stepped towards him, but Caden’s arms suddenly wrapped around me and tugged me back against him.
His chest vibrated as he growled at Lukas.
“You’re fucked in the head if you think any of us wouldn’t have done the same thing for her. The hell is up with you, man? You’ve loved her forever.”
His eyes narrowed, spite filling his voice as he spoke.
“Biggest mistake I ever made was sticking around through all the shit when we were younger. I should have just stayed the fuck away after I saw her being raped that night. I never should have made room in my life for her again when she showed up at our school. She was someone who was meant to stay in the past. She’s too fucked up now.”
His words stung.
Despite Jensen telling me the reason behind him lashing out, I still took it to heart.
How could he say that?
He was so full of fucking shit.
It was the fear talking, not him.
I couldn’t deal with his fake anger right now.
“Liar,” I stated softly, jerking out of Caden’s grip and jogging through the house, locking myself in Caden’s room.
I knew he’d understand the need for some time alone.
Lukas’s words were too cruel to process there and then.
I heard them shouting downstairs at each other, but I zoned out and curled up in his bed as exhaustion seeped into my bones.
I fell asleep again pretty quickly, and it wasn’t even lunch time yet.
Caden
I waited an hour before creeping upstairs to break into my own bedroom.
I didn’t give a fuck if Rory caught me checking on her either.
Lukas’s words had been uncalled for, and I’d never heard something so fucking nasty leave his mouth.
I watched her sleep for a little while, hating that the pillow was still damp with her tears.
Seeing her fall apart was painful, and Lukas was lucky I didn’t beat the shit out of him for hurting her even more.
She’d been hunted, shot at, taunted, and now she was grieving while wallowing in self-blame.
I knew her better than any of the guys in my opinion, even Lukas, so I knew she was blaming herself.
I felt bad for taking her from Tyler, but I didn’t want them laying around in bed for days in mourning, snorting cocaine and trying to forget reality.
They would’ve fed off each other’s pain, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Luckily for me, Skeeter agreed and promised to hang out with Tyler so I could bring Rory home, hoping it would make her feel safe enough to get a good sleep.
She’d probably slept shit loads the previous night, but she needed more after all the shock she’d endured.
I knew she was going to go on a rampage when she was strong enough, but I was worried she’d take herself down in the process.
I’d always blamed Skeeter for her becoming so out of control, but I couldn’t blame him anymore.
Sometimes people just snapped, and once they broke, you can never put them back together again.
Not in the way they’d been before.
Cracks would show, causing all of the hate and emotion to seep out until it created a current of destruction to anyone in its path.
I had a feeling my baby was going to destroy everything in her path, us included.
Rory
I padded downstairs hours later, finding Caden curled up on the couch with a drink in his hand.
He glanced up, giving me a warm smile as he lifted an arm up, inviting me to curl up with him.
“Hey, get some sleep?”
I nodded, tucking myself as close to him as possible.
I just wanted to drink and get high to pretend nothing had happened lately, and to convince myself that everything was okay.
He kissed the top of my head before he sighed.
“Lukas was out of line. I don’t know what’s going on with him lately but…”
“He’s trying to hate me so when I get myself killed, it won’t hurt so bad,” I mumbled, making him frown.
“Who said that?”
“Jense. Lukas is shit scared of me getting hurt, so he’s distancing himself dramatically to save himself from the heartache. He and Jense had a fight this morning over me.”
“That explains a lot, I guess. Did you want to crash here tonight? You can have your old room, or mine. Whatever you want.”
“Nah, I have to be at the shed soon, so I’ll probably stay with Hunter or Diesel at Slash’s,” I shrugged, watching him nod.
I didn’t want to be alone at Slash’s, but I didn’t want to sleep anywhere else.
“Okay, but you can come back whenever you want for some space, okay? Even if I’m not home. Hey, I’m sorry about Slash, baby. I know he was one of the closest people you’ve had in your corner lately,” he said gently, making me smile.
He always thought of me.
“Thanks. Fo
r everything, Caden.”
“Anything for you, Aurora Donovan,” he murmured, running his fingers through my hair before suddenly tensing up after a moment of silence. “Has anyone cleaned your arm?”
“It’s fine, it’s just a graze. Skeet looked at it,” I shrugged, but a scowl took over his face.
“Doesn’t matter, it still should be cleaned and disinfected. C’mon.”
He stood with me still in his arms, carrying me up to his bathroom and plonking my butt down on the sink.
I watched him as he cleaned the sad excuse for a bullet wound, speaking softly to him.
“I miss you, you know? So much shit went down so quickly, and everything went to shit. It feels like only the other day I moved in here with Dad, but now look at us.”
He met my gaze, an affectionate smile tugging at his lips.
“A lot has gone down, but how I feel about you will never change. You’ll always be the only girl I’ve ever loved.”
I hesitated before dropping my gaze, wondering who they’d buried themselves in to deal with me walking out on them.
Everyone knew that Skeeter had, after all.
“Has anyone else, other than Skeet, fucked Claire since we split?”
He cringed, obviously not expecting that question.
“No. Who told you about Skeet?”
“Diesel threw him under the bus yesterday. How could he…,” I started, but he cut me off with a sigh, defending his apparent new best friend.
“Baby, you know Skeet hurts differently to anyone else. In his mind at the time, hurting you was worth it after you left him. He only wanted revenge to try and calm his emotions. Now he’s had some time to think, he regrets the hell out of it.”
I snorted.
Skeeter never regretted any pussy that he stuck his dick in.
He was a notorious playboy.
“Doubt it.”
He cupped my chin, tilting my face up to look at him.
“Trust me, he hates that he did it because he’s still in love with you and gives a shit about how you feel. We all do stupid shit when we hurt.”
“How could Claire do that to me though? She’s my sister,” I questioned out loud, knowing full well that she was always going to be a selfish bitch, regardless of blood.
