by Susan Sands
Sabine stuck out a hand to Lisa. “It was so great to finally meet you. Maybe I’ll see you again before you leave town.”
Lisa laughed. It was full and lovely sound. “That’s what I came out to talk to Ben about. We’ve come home. We’re moving back to Ministry. Steve and I discussed it, and we decided we’ve been gone from home too long. There’s no reason to stay away—especially now that I know Ben’s happy. I’m surprised no one told me about you by now.”
“We’ve been keeping a very low profile because of a court case we both testified on. Different sides. We didn’t really know each other at the time, but you know how touchy that can be.” Sabine gave her a knowing look.
Sabine was nearly holding Ben up now. And he was getting heavy. Clearly Lisa hadn’t noticed. “Okay, big guy, let’s get you home.”
Ben had a somewhat dazed expression, but managed to wave to Lisa as Sabine turned him around and led him to the passenger side of her car.
Once they were inside, she cranked up the A/C and asked for his address. Just as they crossed his cattle guard, he threw up all over her leather interior.
Chapter Eight
Sabine rolled the windows down and kept driving, trying not to gag. “Couldn’t you have warned me? I would have stopped, you know.”
Berating a sick person was beneath her and she knew it, but it was her car. She liked her car.
No answer.
They arrived at his front door within thirty seconds, and they both hopped out the second she rolled to a stop. He made it as far as the bushes at the side of the house. She went the other direction, gulping in fresh air.
There wasn’t anything sexy about him right now. Nothing. In fact, he might never be sexy again. She might always associate him with this awful smell. She’d done that in the past with nasty things.
After his dry heaving ceased, he sat down on the front steps. Of the porch. Of his gorgeous house. She hadn’t really noticed the house as she was sucking in cold air through her nostrils. Now she did. No wonder all the women in town were after him. They wanted his house.
And she didn’t blame them. She simply stared, forgetting for a moment about the owner, who’d clearly had a bad day, up ’til this point.
“Wow. It’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“Thank you, I think.” She snapped her head around, and recalled the whole situation then.
He looked pathetic now, shirtless, with his stained suit pants. He’d taken off his boots and tossed them on the porch, but still wore his black dress socks. Then, she unforgivably fought the urge to smile. And lost.
“You’re quite a sight right now, you know.”
“I’m at one of the lowest points in my life and you’re laughing at me? You’re a therapist, for Chrissake.”
“I’m not laughing, exactly. I mean—how can I put this as so not to be insulting?”
“You can’t.” But then he looked down at himself and shook his head. “This is what I’ve sunk to.” Then he appeared to reconsider. “Okay, give it your best shot. But you only get one.”
She grinned. “So, do you remember the first time we met, and then when we went to dinner?” He nodded and cringed. “You asked why I didn’t like you.” He nodded again.
“Yes, so I was hard on you, and believed you to be a too-handsome playboy who only cared about himself. You tried to defend that persona, but I had my own ideas about you already.”
“Clearly,” he drawled.
“Well, I’d say that today has pretty much leveled the playing field. I’ve never seen one human so humbled and humiliated in such a short amount of time. Plus, I have a feeling it started before I came into the picture today.”
“Hailey told you about our meeting?”
She nodded. “I can tell you this because she gave me written permission, with parameters, of course. Some things are private. She felt bad for you and wants to help you on your road to self-discovery. She said she referred you to me and hoped you would reach out to me professionally.”
Ben began to unbutton his pants.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Taking off my pants. They have vomit on them.”
She turned her back. “You could have given me some warning.”
“You’ve seen me at my worst, so you might as well see me in my boxers,” he said.
“Um, no thank you.”
“I want to clean out your car, but I don’t think I can right now.”
“I’d pull out the floor mat, but I have an aversion to that.” She pointed toward her car.
“That? You mean throw up?”
She gagged. “Stop it. It’s bad enough that I’m going to have to buy a new car.”
“A new car?”
“I’ll never get the smell out.”
“Of course you will. I mean, I will. Just not tonight.”
“What are we going to do? Your truck is back at the bar.”
“I have people who owe me favors.”
“Who owes you favors?” she asked, her eyes narrowed.
Ben narrowed his eyes. Then put his hands on his hips of his boxers—that he wore—without pants over them. With his very muscular legs sticking out beneath them. “I was referring to my family members, and half the town. I’m constantly doing their bidding and at their beck and call, so some of them help me out from time-to-time, though I only ask when I really need a favor.”
“Oh.” Sabine sat on the porch beside him, but not too close.
He rolled his eyes dramatically. “So, here we are, a couple of burdened souls, me, in my underwear, and you with a carload of my stomach contents. What’s our next move, Counselor?”
“Shouldn’t I ask you that? How are you feeling, by the way?” He appeared almost normal now.
“I’m just peachy, now. And to answer your question with a question, do we really want to drag anyone else into this?” His tone was droll.
Sabine frowned. “I haven’t done anything wrong. Looks like the embarrassment’s on you this time,” she said sweetly.
He’d been the one who’d had too many beers, and the one who had embarrassed himself.
“That’s cold. Aren’t you supposed to show infinite kindness and understanding?”
“You’re not my patient—yet.”
“Yeah, about that—I called your office before I stopped at the bar today—to schedule an official appointment.”
And just like that, they’d circled back around to their earlier conversation.
“As a new patient?” Sabine wasn’t certain how to respond.
Ben sighed. “I’m a mess, Sabine. Everything I believed about myself and my life has all changed.” He snapped his fingers. “Like that.” He was dead serious.
Her heart tweaked for him in that moment. “Hailey said you might call. But shouldn’t you find a therapist who is less involved?”
Ben shook his head. “Are we involved?” He still looked pitiful, but also a little hopeful. “You’re the only one who can really help me. Think about it; you’ve got all the inside scoop. You know the other side of the story. Hailey even gave you permission to share what you thought would help me get to the bottom of my issues.”
Sabine frowned. “What issues are you referring to?”
“My issues with women.”
“You told me you thought you’d been fair and straight in your dealings with women in your history.” Sabine tried not to focus on his bare legs.
“That’s the problem; I’m rethinking my position.”
So was Sabine, sadly. What might be the best position for him to take her on the porch? “I see. If I agreed to be your therapist, we would have to set up serious, um, ground rules.” Maybe the ground would be better.
Fortunately, they had complete privacy out here. She fought the urge like mad to scoot closer to her potential client and find out what lay beneath those blue plaid boxers. Her good sense and professionalism warred with her very long-ignored womanly needs.
“Are you having
sexy thoughts about me?” Ben asked, breaking into her sexy thoughts. Because his sexy had returned.
“Huh? Of course—not.” Her eyes were unfocused.
“You are. You want to sit on my lap again,” he accused.
“That—wouldn’t be wise.” But God, it would feel so good.
“Stop it! I’m asking for help, here, and you want to climb the tower of Ben.”
“Okay, this isn’t headed anywhere good,” Sabine said.
“Make you a deal.” He appeared deadly serious.
“I’m listening.”
“You stay here tonight—” He held up a hand to stop her shocked protest. “Listen. I’m suggesting I sleep off my beers, make a call to my buddy to have your car cleaned, and we discuss plans for my therapy. And I’ll make eggs in the morning. If you still look at me like that after I’ve sobered up, then, I’ll have no choice but to kiss you again.”
She couldn’t really see a flaw in his plan. Certainly, there were many, but right now, she was seriously charmed by a stinky, post-vomitous guy with a great house. “Um. I’m not sure that’s wise.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a little distracted by you sitting there in your underwear.”
His eyes changed, the atmosphere between them became charged. “I knew it.”
“Go take a shower and brush your teeth.”
Both laughed at that. Sabine had no idea where this might lead, but either way, she was certain it was a bad idea. Bad.
Ben had shown her the way to one of his extra bedrooms with an adjoining bath, which was surprisingly equipped with shampoo and other items an overnight guest might require, even a new toothbrush still in a cellophane wrapper. Sabine preferred to believe he hosted his nieces and nephews on occasion instead of random female overnight guests.
Surprised that she was even considering this impromptu sleepover, Sabine pushed down her doubts and followed her instincts, which told her she wasn’t a stupid woman, and Ben wasn’t a bad guy. He wasn’t Richard. Of that she was certain. Tomorrow would tell the tale.
It had been an unnatural amount of time since she’d been with her husband, and there’d been no one since. For all the sensationalism regarding Ben, Sabine felt secure that he wasn’t some kind of depraved rapist.
In fact, weirdly, she believed she knew him well enough at this point. Enough to trust him to relieve her sexual tension. It sounded strangely clinical when she thought about it that way, but her body was near-feverish with the anticipation of considering a possible sexual relationship with him. Just knowing he had the capacity for self-realization and a desire to change put her fears to rest regarding his past with women.
She walked into his kitchen the morning after a surprisingly restful night’s sleep, barefooted, and sporting the loose pair of boxers and extra-large T-shirt he’d loaned her. He’d been the perfect gentleman and kissed her on the cheek before heading to bed last night.
Sabine wasn’t prepared for the wave of desire that hit her on seeing him standing at the stove, clearly cooking breakfast for her. His dark hair was wet from the shower, and he was barefoot as well.
“Good morning.” Sabine’s stomach fluttered when he turned around and grinned.
“Hey there. How did you sleep?” he asked.
“Surprisingly well, thanks.”
“Hungry? I’ve got bacon, eggs, and biscuits.”
Was he for real? No wonder the women in town all wanted him. He cooked too. All prissy judgment flew out the window. Might as well lump her with the rest of them and be done. He was flipping perfect.
They sat at Ben’s kitchen table, sharing scrambled eggs. As Sabine took a sip of her orange juice, she sighed.
“Everything okay?” he asked, politely.
“Peachy.”
“So, you and me. Maybe we should discuss all this stuff. Seems I need to work on myself, and you need to—what do you need, Sabine? You’re not especially talkative about feelings and such, being a professional feelings person, and all.” His eyes were questioning, and his tone sincere.
His sincerity rattled her. It was the perfect time to come clean. He should know about Richard.
Instead she heard herself say, “You looked like you were about to take off on foot when your blonde friend showed up yesterday.”
“Okay, so no feelings.” Then he said, “Fine, we’ll talk about me, since I’m in such need of professional counseling. She showed up out of nowhere inside the bar, and I wasn’t prepared to see her, or Steve.”
“How do you feel about them moving back to Ministry?” Sabine asked.
“I’m not sure. Lisa’s been gone a long time, and as much of a shock as it was, I really don’t know how I feel about either of them. I didn’t want to punch Steve in the face like I did initially, so I guess time and space makes a difference. They have two kids together. Time to behave like a grown-up about it, I guess. I guess seeing them at the bar didn’t hurt so much as it was a shock to my system.”
“She seems nice.” That was all Sabine could honestly say, based on her exposure to Lisa.
“Yeah. I guess she’s nice. I’ve spent years angry with her and Steve for betraying my trust, so nice hasn’t exactly been how I’ve perceived either of them.”
“Are you still in love with her?” Sabine asked; she had to. Better to get his gut reaction.
Ben appeared confused by her question. “With Lisa?”
“Yes. With Lisa. Your expression was—intense—when you looked at her.”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. I mean, I can’t say I didn’t feel a gut punch at seeing her again, but it didn’t feel like love, more like, stunned.”
Sabine had to admit relief.
“As your therapist, I’m trying to understand where you are, emotionally, with seeing her on a regular basis again.” She took a bite of the fluffy eggs. “No time like the present. Maybe our therapy could be a little less structured than normal sessions. I mean, this is nice.” Sabine didn’t exactly mean over breakfast in his house, but maybe a casual setting.
He appeared thoughtful. “I have an idea.”
“Oh? Let’s have it.”
“Since Lisa believes we’re dating, why don’t we let her—believe it—I mean?”
“Why do you want her to think that?” Sabine’s pulse leapt at the idea of dating Ben, even as a ruse.
To be his one and only. Clearly, she’d been bitten by the Ben bug.
“If we were ‘dating’ I’d be protected from all the hubbub. If you and I came out as a couple in town, then I wouldn’t have to address the ensuing mass curiosity about how I feel about Lisa moving back. And I wouldn’t have to deal with Lisa and Steve coming at me with awkward overtures. If they think I’m otherwise occupied in life, then we can all move on without the bother of getting in each other’s’ way.”
“But I saw your face when she told you she was moving back. You really were affected.”
“I was pretty inebriated and completely blindsided. Almost like I saw someone back from the dead.”
“Hmm. It’s a decent idea, but what about this?” She motioned her hand between the two of them.
“You mean the chemistry between us. The one you won’t discuss?”
“Uh, yes, that. Don’t you think it could get in the way of the pretend dating and therapy?”
“Only if we let it. It’s definitely odd, but maybe it could work for us. We could have our therapy sessions during dates. You know, when we go out to dinner and such. That way, people will see us together, talking, and no one will think anything is odd about it, and it will solve my dating issues.”
Sabine thought for a moment. “I guess it wouldn’t take time out of my schedule, and I do have to eat. And you wouldn’t have to fend off other women while working on your issues that way. You could pay me in meals.”
He smiled at that. “And sex? It’s settled, then. We’re dating.” He stuck out a hand for her to shake as if they’d struck a bargain.
She shook it, but when she did, he pulled her toward him and kissed her. She ended up straddling his lap once again—this time on the kitchen chair.
“0oh. This is never going to work.” She sighed into his mouth.
“I think it’s already working perfectly.”
And suddenly he pulled out a condom with a question in his eyes. Were they taped to the bottom of the kitchen table? All she could do was nod and bite her tongue from begging.
Ben kissed her without holding anything back. God, she’d waited two years for this. Or, maybe a lifetime.
He lifted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing and carried her to his huge master bedroom, and dumped her in a puddle on the bed. She laughed out loud. She’d never laughed like this with Richard.
Ben slid next to her on the bed.
He reached over and pulled out the clip from her thick, dark hair, allowing it to fall free around her shoulders.
“Ah—okay.” Before Sabine realized what was happening, they’d backed up toward the big carved mahogany headboard and Ben had pulled back the heavy, gray duvet, exposing crisp, white sheets.
She inhaled his clean, soap and man smell as he leaned down and nuzzled her neck, then he moved his sensuous lips to her jaw, and, oh, her lips. Sabine sighed as he found her mouth in the most erotic kiss she’d ever experienced. Her clothes weren’t off yet. Damn.
Ben laughed deep in his throat. “Okay, so you don’t want to go slow the first time. But I insist on your being completely naked.”
Her nostrils flared. “Oh—yes. Completely.”
Somehow, he had the boxers and T-shirt off in seconds. She hadn’t bothered putting on a bra this morning. The man had mad skills; she’d give him that.
“I don’t want or need foreplay, okay? I just want you inside me. Now. Please,” Sabine begged.
Ben appeared uncertain. “Never heard that one before, but your wish is my command.”
Sabine nearly screamed her first orgasm before he’d gotten fully ensconced.
Ben had understood that Sabine was different from the moment they’d met. He never even considered a ridiculous two-date rule with her, and it wasn’t because she’d treated him like a total scumbag. She’d made the ground shake for him. And now, he understood. In this moment, he knew. Lisa hadn’t been his soul mate; she’d been the precursor. Sabine was the one he was meant to be with. On some level, he’d known it months ago, and since he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since they’d met, it made sense now, utterly perfect sense.
