Fink’s heartbeat settled into a regular rhythm. The feeling that had swelled in his throat was gone. Was it passion? It had been so long since he’d allowed himself to feel anything, he wasn’t quite sure. But he was sure he couldn’t allow himself to feel it for Ellie. Not now.
Focus on the conversation. “That’s a great idea, Wyatt. I could actually leave the school early for the next two days. Maybe by two thirty.” He turned to Ellie. “Would that help?”
She stared at the papers, then looked up, mumbling to herself. Finally, she stopped and faced him. “I think that would give me enough time. I can buy the paint tomorrow when I go to town. I’d want to see the hardboard first, but I think I can use a spray paint base.”
“Wyatt and I can go get the hardboard now. Can you two keep from killing each other until we get back?”
Mrs. Bright shuffled her feet and peeked up at him. “You were right about the manicure. I’ve never actually had one. I don’t know why your comment made me so angry.”
“Well, you were right too. I do have some free time in the afternoon. And lunch. And my free period at school.” He put a hand on Wyatt’s shoulder. “We’ll be fine. We’ll start the base, and if you two bring the hardboard back, we might be able to tack it up in place tonight before we knock off.”
Chapter Ten
After Harper and Wyatt left, Ellie and Fink fell into the rhythm of the night before, only this time in addition to keeping the tools organized and sawing after she measured, Fink also read the instructions, making sure they had the right number of boards cut to the proper length.
They had worked in silence for ten minutes when Fink spoke. “You’ve done a good job with Harper.”
The tape measure snapped shut, pinching her thumb. Pain poked up her arm. The tape measure bobbled in her hand before she tightened her grip on it. “Thanks. She was a good kid, and it didn’t take much. How’d you end up with Wyatt? He seems sweet.”
“He is. My sister traveled the globe, writing for different magazines. She also worked odd jobs to support her love of travel and adventure. Wyatt’s been everywhere—I wasn’t always sure how he’d turn out—but she did a great job chasing her dreams and parenting too. He’s respectful, and there’s an innocence to him….”
“Almost like he was homeschooled.”
“Yeah. I think he was, to some extent,” Fink said. “Harper has hinted several times about you being young when you had her. How old were you?”
She didn’t want to answer. She wanted to keep pretending there might be a chance for something between them to blossom.
“Hand me the saw, please.”
He picked it up, but when she reached for it, he didn’t let go.
She tugged.
He held on. “How old?”
“Fifteen.” She yanked the saw out of his hand, waiting for the gasp and horrified gaze.
His expression did not change. Unsmiling, he stared into her face, like she was a puzzle he needed to solve. “Did you think of giving her up?”
“Sure. My parents wanted me to. Actually, they wanted me to have an abortion. But, hey, I was fifteen. And stupid. I was almost six months along before I realized I wasn’t just gaining weight from pizza and soda.”
“So no abortion?”
“It would have been hard, if not impossible. But I wouldn’t have done it anyway. Liam and I got married instead and we moved in with his parents.” She pounded a nail in.
He handed her another. “You regret that?”
“Surprisingly, no. My parents were both professionals—Mom worked in public relations and was gone a lot. Dad retired from the army and drank a lot. I was the baby of their old age; they were almost fifty when I was born.” It had been a lonely childhood. Maybe that’s why she had clung to Liam. Trying to fill the emptiiness left by the absence of her parents.
“No brothers or sisters?”
“Nope. Wished for them, but never happened.” She finished pounding the nail and set the hammer down.
He moved it after placing the tape measure in her hand. “Harper mentioned wanting siblings.”
“That’d be a little hard, since my husband’s dead.”
He didn’t say anything.
She marked the board and snapped the tape measure shut, feeling bad about being abrupt. “Liam and I planned on it. I wanted to get my GED first. But you know how you get busy. Life happens. Harper needed me. Then I started working on the farm. Then he was killed.”
“A paving accident?” He handed her the SKILSAW.
She cut the board, the shrill of the saw filling the barn. The end piece fell off, clattered on the floor, and the saw wound down to silence before she asked, “You checked up on me?”
“It’s a small school. Small community. I hear rumors.” He handed her the hammer and a nail, then picked up the piece she’d cut off and stacked it with the rest of the scraps.
“He ran the big roller on the paving crew. He must not have been paying attention and he ran it far enough off the road that it tipped. They were on a big hill, and once it tipped, it belly-rolled clear down the hill. First roll killed him instantly.” She paused to reflect. It’d been devastating. She’d built so much of her life around him. But it had happened ten years ago, and the hurt had mostly healed, leaving an empty space that would probably always be there.
“Wow. So you had a young child and no husband.”
She stopped and looked him in the eyes, conscious of his occupation. An education had to be high on his list of priorities in a partner. “No job and not even a high school diploma. But he left me his parents. They’ve been the parents I never had and they’ve been great with Harper.”
“So you helped on the farm.”
“Never thought I’d be a farmer, but that’s how it turned out.” She laughed without humor, taking the nail he handed her.
“You seem to like it.”
“I do. Now that we sell decorations, I get to use my artistic abilities, but I love being outside, love growing things, and I love that Harper has a good, stable home, even if we do work a lot.”
“So that’s why you had that kid there? Hoping to take some of the load off?”
“I guess.”
He snorted. “I’ve really added to that load this week.”
“It’ll be good advertising for the farm. We’re just not quite making enough money to hire full-time help. The Christmas season is the busiest time of year for us, retail-wise, anyway, and if there’s someone here helping with all that, I’ll have more time to make crafts.”
“That’s a pretty big business for you.”
“Sure, it’s all up-market.” She shrugged. “And I love it, of course.”
“Art is your passion.”
“Yeah. What I’d really like is to have help all summer, trimming the Christmas trees and spraying the apples, taking care of the vegetables so I can get ahead with the decorations. That was my main thought with interviewing Cody. He’s still in college and I figured he’d be looking for full-time work next summer.”
She reached for the tape measure he held, but instead of handing it to her, he captured her hand in his own.
Her gaze shot to his. He couldn’t be serious about her. Couldn’t be. Fink didn’t seem like the kind of guy to mess with her, but neither did he seem like the kind of guy who would settle for a woman who was uneducated, messy, and perpetually late.
“Please don’t, Fink.”
He dropped her hand. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Seems like every time I get around you, I want to get closer.”
“I have the same want,” she whispered. “But you and I…it’s not something that could ever happen.” She searched his eyes, whether looking for confirmation or denial, she wasn’t sure. Please, Fink, tell me I’m wrong. When he didn’t say anything, her gaze fell and she looked away. There was her answer.
This afternoon when he’d asked to kiss her goodbye, she’d thought that maybe her background wouldn’t matter to him.
> Swallowing something that tasted an awful lot like disappointment, she said, “Are you going to give me the tape measure, or have you abducted it?”
He cleared his throat, putting it into her outstretched hand. “Sorry.”
They worked in silence for a while, and Ellie managed to get her runaway emotions under control. Served her right for practically demanding to know what his intentions were.
Of course he couldn’t come right out and say it, but he really didn’t have to. She might not have a degree, any degree, but she wasn’t stupid.
Her chest felt wooden and her movements jerky. She could tell herself Fink’s rejection didn’t matter all day long, but she wasn’t fooling herself. It stung. It was her own dumb fault for allowing herself to care for someone whom she knew from the get-go could never return her feelings. She bit the insides of her cheeks and tried to ignore the ache in her chest. It wasn’t the first disappointment in her life. Wouldn’t be the last.
She couldn’t take the silence any longer. “You came from Iowa. How’d you end up here in PA?”
Fink picked up the hammer Ellie had set down and placed it to the side. “I grew up on a farm in Iowa. But I chose to leave it. I couldn’t get away fast enough.” He straightened the hammer a fraction of an inch. Satisfied with the exact position of the handle, parallel to the other tools, he rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Then, my mom got sick. My dad asked me to go back and help them so they wouldn’t lose the farm.” He swallowed and shook his head. “I chose my career.”
“Oh, wow.”
He knew his face had closed down, an involuntary reaction when he didn’t want to show his true feelings, although he spoke casually, without looking at her. Not wanting her to know how deep those feelings ran.
“Yeah. She died. And losing the farm killed Dad, not right away, but within a year. And every day I regret that.”
Her hands hung suspended in midair. Like she’d been reaching for something, but had forgotten what. Her face shone with compassion. “That regret hasn’t stopped you from moving up in your career?”
“I made my choice. Now I get to live with it.” His lips flattened. “I graduated from Penn State and got a job here teaching science. I got my master’s degree and was hired for the principal position when it opened. I’m working on my doctorate.”
“Wow.” She didn’t sound happy. “You’re close?”
“Yes. My dissertation should be complete by Christmas. Unless I have to make more floats.”
She snorted. “Once you have your degree, you’ve got a job in mind?”
He met her gaze and raised a brow. He’d told her earlier today.
Her brow furrowed before the light dawned. She rolled her eyes. “So that’s why you’re here. You’re up for superintendent and you need to make sure the school has a float in the parade. Because, after all, we country folk are kind of anal about our parades.”
“True.”
He noted the hopeless tone in her voice. Maybe the fact she didn’t even have a high school diploma and he was close to getting his doctorate mattered to her. He couldn’t tell. Heck, a week ago, it would have mattered to him. Now, not so much.
Once he had the superintendent job, his wife not having her high school diploma wouldn’t matter to him and should be no one else’s business.
But the thing that kept him silent…him being with her now, before the vote…that could sway someone’s opinion. Someone might think less of him for being with her.
He thought of Dr. Rothschild, her tight lips, and how she regarded anything that wasn’t completely perfect with intense disapproval. He knew right away that it would matter to her.
Could it cost him the job? She was just one vote, but she was also the school board president, and highly respected in the community. She might campaign against him. He didn’t think she would, but he didn’t want to take that chance. He didn’t know the other members well enough to say for sure if they would care.
Ellie was well liked by folks in the county, he knew that much. But that was taking an awful big chance—basing his career on how much people liked her. His brain said to let her go.
After the vote, though, different story. Was it wrong to wait until next Thursday? To think he had time might be too egotistical. Ellie had become too important to lightly dismiss. He’d talk to her next Thursday, and do whatever it took to get her to agree to take a chance on him. Because although it terrified him, he’d realized what this crazy feeling he had for Ellie was. Love.
Thursday morning Fink pulled into the school parking lot. A little slower than he had the past two days, because he wasn’t late. Yet. The bell was going to ring in three minutes, but he couldn’t speed in the parking lot. Kids were still hurrying inside the building. It would be a bad example.
As he pulled his briefcase out of the backseat, the low rumble of Ellie’s pickup cut through the clear morning air. Funny how that noise used to be annoying. It now made him smile. She, too, drove only a fraction of her normal speed. Harper waved at kids who yelled at her through the window. The second day in a row she hadn’t had to hang on for dear life.
Fink quickened his pace so he could open Ellie’s door for her. If Harper hopped out quickly, she wouldn’t be late. Harper was no fool, and as Fink leaned against Ellie’s window and the bell rang, she was already following Wyatt into the school.
Ellie wound her window down with the crank. “I guess I won’t need this.” She held up a white piece of paper with writing he assumed was Harper’s late excuse and tore it into pieces, her eyes aglow with life and laughter.
Fink found himself leaning in the window toward her, drawn to the happiness and vivacity she exuded. He stopped himself from reaching for her but didn’t step away.
“You look nice.” She wore a scooped-neck, pink blouse and a blue skirt.
Her cheeks pinked. “I have to run to town and grab some paint. My in-laws can probably handle the farm unless we get a last-minute group in, and I should be able to paint all day.”
“Great.” He stared into her eyes, almost forgetting what he was going to say. “I’ll be out to help as soon as I can.”
“They’ll be expecting you.” She glanced down. Her lips pulled back and one brow lifted. “You look good too.”
She stared at his biceps. His agreement with Jordon had actually helped him bulk up some, and it was possible he’d set his arm on her window hoping she’d notice.
“I thought I’d go casual today since I’ll be going straight to the farm after school.” He’d worn a polo shirt and slacks. There was no dress code, so he might as well.
“I like it,” she said softly.
He stood there, grinning like a fool for too long, before remembering he needed to get into the school. “Have a good day.” He stepped back.
“You too,” she said, then shifted into gear and chugged out of the parking lot.
Fink left the school immediately after the kids were dismissed. He caught himself going forty-three in a thirty-five-mile-per-hour zone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d speeded.
His stomach churned with excitement asWyatt and he pulled into the tree farm. He didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t looking for Ellie. His head swiveled in every direction. Probably fifty people milled about in the pumpkin patch and corn maze, with a few scattered around eating hot dogs and dodging the campfire smoke. Children jumped in the leaves that had fallen from the red maples by the shop.
He didn’t see Ellie.
Fink and Wyatt stepped into the office. Ellie’s mother-in-law greeted them.
“I’m Calvin Finkenbinder. I told Ellie I’d help out today and tomorrow so she could paint.”
She bustled over, dusting her hands off on her apron. “I’m Esther. I’ve been expecting you. Let me finish up here, then I’ll show you a few things and get you started. With the warm weather we’ve been having, the corn maze has been popular, and we’ve had brisk business all week. Except yesterday evening. Things clear
out quickly when it rains.” She laughed, a tinkling sound that made Fink smile.
He concealed his disappointment that Ellie wasn’t there to show him what to do.
Esther rearranged a few wreathes on the display table. “I wish Ellie had time to replenish her supply of fall decorations. We’re almost out.” She placed her hands on her hips, tilting her head and studying her handiwork. “A local church is bringing a group of folks out tonight, so we’re going to be especially busy.” Her gaze landed on Wyatt standing at the edge of the doorway and she stopped short. “Are you here to help too?”
He nodded.
“That’s great. Harper just walked down to fill the tubs with water for apple bobbing. You scoot on down and she’ll put you to work.”
A corner of Wyatt’s mouth lifted. He turned, tripping on his extra-large feet, but caught himself before he sprawled down the wooden steps.
“Mr. Finkenbinder, how about you step over here and I’ll show you the price list.”
He fought down impatience and irritation as he strode over to Esther. He’d come to help so Ellie could work on the float, but a small part of him wanted her to miss him as much as he missed her. For her to be here, looking for him, eager to see him too.
Chapter Eleven
Fink’s feet hurt, his back ached, and he was starving by the time things slowed down around seven. But he’d had fun. Several old, large red maple trees, their leaves a brilliant orange, shaded the shop, and he’d spent thirty minutes jumping in a big pile of fallen leaves with a group of toddlers.
He hadn’t had that much fun in ages. Crisp fall air, brilliant blue sky, perfect bright orange trees still frosted with green. A whiff of woodsmoke and hot dogs. Brisk exercise and the laughter of children. Life was good. He was tired, sore, and dirty, but happy. Joyful, in a way he hadn’t been in a long, long time. Since before he’d left the farm.
Harvest Moon Homecoming Page 8
