by Wade Ebeling
Daniel started to shake; partially from the fear of seeing such a large vehicle, but mostly from the vibrations rumbling the entire house. Daniel had seen pictures of tanks within the books that he had taken from the school, but what he as looking at had huge wheels instead of tracks. Its proportions seemed impossible. Daniel continued to shake, even after the engine suddenly cut out. He was awe struck to the point of inaction by the mere sight of the armored personnel carrier.
All of a sudden, a thick door opened on the rear of the desert tan, angular monstrosity. Expecting armed troops to start pouring out of it, Daniel prepared to run. When he saw an old man shuffling down the steps, helped by a skinny woman, Daniel remained frozen in place. Both the man and woman wore bulky respirators, and started walking straight for the front porch.
As they approached, the thinning dust allowed for more details to be seen. Both wore business suits and looked straight at Daniel through the glass of their gas masks and house window. The man was carrying a bundle of dark cloth and cradled a rifle across his chest. The woman gave him a quick wave with scared looking eyes, which should have tipped him off about what was to come.
Daniel could not move. The pair looked and walked sullenly. This scared Daniel even move than if it had been armed soldiers charging at him. The way they approached was so completely unexpected. Deep down, it smelled like a trick. Something his father would do to get people off guard. Daniel wished Allen were here now, he would most certainly scream out some kind of warning, forcing Daniel to move, to get away. The odd pair stepped onto the porch, and they all just stared at each other. This stretched out for what felt an eternity to Daniel. Finally, the woman reached up and pulled the respirator off over her head.
“Danny?” she said loudly, a forced-looking smile creasing her fierce face.
The way she had said his name took Daniel aback. It was not a question; that much he was sure of. She said it like she knew him, but Daniel had never seen this woman before. Daniel just answered her with one nod.
“My name is Susan. I’m a…friend of your Dad’s. We need to talk to you…Something has happened…May we come in? This is the Mayor,” Susan said unsurely, pointing at the fragile looking man standing next to her, before hissing, “Sam, say something…”
Daniel watched the man fumble to adjust what he was holding into his left hand, pulling his dust mask off afterwards. He gave a closer look at what the man was holding. The first thing that caught his eye was his father’s hat. Before the man could speak, Daniel quickly dashed to open door. He removed the stick brace and turned the locks quickly. Throwing the door wide open, despite the amount of dust that rushed in, Daniel waved them hurriedly inside. Both well accustomed to not letting doors to the outside world stay open longer than needed, charged inside. Shutting the door behind them, Daniel wheeled around to face them.
“Where did you get my Dad’s hat?” Daniel said, bringing his rifle very close to pointing at them.
“Listen, Danny…” Susan started to say.
“Daniel. My name is Daniel. Even my Dad doesn’t call me that anymore,” Daniel scorned, cutting her short.
Susan looked slightly taken aback by his outburst, and an uncomfortable silence descended around them.
“That is why we are here, young man. You need to sit down, I think,” Sam said, in his firmest ‘I know what is best for everyone’ voice. “What is that wonderful smell?” Not waiting for permission, he moved through the front room containing several stacks of books, Daniel’s latest treasures from the school. The old man continued straight on into the dining room, and set the rifle and bundle of clothing onto the cluttered table. Daniel followed, and Susan quietly brought up the rear.
Seeing that Sam was pulling a chair out for himself, Daniel quickly said, with a smirk, “Please, help yourself, sit down.” Beyond that of his father, Daniel had not had anyone else to talk to in so long that he found this elderly man intriguing and pleasant.
“Thank you, dear boy. Are these all textbooks? Have you read all of these?” Sam said, looking around the room.
“Most of them. I plan on reading the rest soon,” Daniel replied without looking at him. His attention was now aimed at Susan. She was rather noisily poking around the kitchen, and stopped in front of the camping stove that sat on the oven’s cooktop, lifting the lid of the pot and stirring its contents.
“What is in there?” Susan asked squeamishly.
As much as Daniel immediately liked the old man, he found that he did not feel the same way about this snobby woman. Smiling broadly, Daniel tried to keep the anger from seeping into his voice as he said, “Mainly some squirrel and vegetables. I put some burdock root in there, after I roasted it…”
Intrigued, Sam asked, “Well, it smells heavenly. But what is…burdock root?” an arched eyebrow confirming his interest.
“You know…those weeds that have all the burrs on them. The ones that stick to your clothes,” Daniel answered, returning his gaze back the mayor. “I got one root that was like three feet long.” He was going to say more about his new passion for finding tasty things to eat outside, but the look on the man’s face had slowly turned back to that of somberness.
“That is quite amazing, young Daniel,” Sam said, without getting too excited. “Unfortunately, we are here on…other matters. Daniel…I am not sure how to tell you this. Perhaps you should sit down.” He pointed at the only other chair in the room, opposite him at the table.
“Why do you have my dad’s hat and rifle?” Daniel asked, slowly making his way to the chair. He did not feel like sitting, though, probably because he was told that he should.
“I’ve known your father for a long time…” Susan chimed in from behind.
Daniel spun, cutting her short again, “You said your name is Susan, right? My Dad did mention you,” he spat. “None of the things he said to me about you made it sound like…like you two were friends.” This obviously had the desired effect, because her face flushed with anger. “I don’t know either of you, but I do know my Dad didn’t like you!” Daniel shouted, pointing his finger at her accusingly.
“Please, please, Daniel. Susan is here because…she feels…Well, let me not get ahead of myself. Daniel I have your father’s things…because he was killed…last night,” Sam blurted out.
Daniel felt like sitting all of a sudden. Once he fell into the chair, he asked the only thing that came to mind, “How?”
“Well it seems that some…nefarious types…were sneaking around down in the dead zone…They ambushed your father on their way out…Others got there very quickly, and chased them away before…Well, before they had a chance to take these things here, which we have brought back to you,” Sam said, as kindly as he could manage. He spread out the bundle on the table, showing Daniel his father’s hat, sunglass case, ammo vest, and rifle. “These are yours now, son. We are truly sorry for your loss. Your father was quite instrumental in helping our little community…survive.”
“Do you know where Jason Clarke is?” Susan callously hissed.
“Please, Susan. Now is not the time,” Sam quickly coughed, his face cringing.
“Uncle Jason? Why, is he dead, too?” Daniel asked, shooting Susan another dirty look.
“Well, have you seen him?” Susan asked back, steel lacing her voice, her eyes searching his face for lies.
“Susan!” Sam roared, giving her a “settle down” motion with his hands. “It’s nothing like that, Daniel. It just seems that people thought…he should be with your father at the time of…the ambush. Now it appears as if he is…missing. You see, no one has seen him since the incident. We were just wondering if it was possible that, maybe, he had made his way here? You know, we are concerned that he might be wandering around hurt somewhere. It’s possible that he managed to get away, and is now looking for some place safe.”
“I haven’t seen him in years,” Daniel said coldly.
Daniel had spoken the truth; he had not seen or talked to anyone from the group sinc
e they moved out of the Korean church. Now, sitting here talking to two people that he did not know, the weight of this loneliness fell upon his shoulders. The news of his father’s death just added to the weight he was feeling. Daniel started to cry. Having held back his tears for so long, they flowed freely, beyond his control. He felt years of emotion flowing out through the tears and snot. It somehow felt amazingly liberating. Then he felt shame, no longer wanting these strangers seeing him like this.
“Can you guys leave now?” Daniel choked out.
“My dear boy, I am so sorry for having to tell you all of this…But I do have a spot of good news for you,” Sam offered, trying to assemble a smile for Daniel. “Well, you see, Susan and I both agree that the best course of action, for everybody involved, would be to move you into the Warehouse. You will be quite safe there, you understand? And there are plenty of other kids…err, young people like yourself there too. I promise that you will be quite happy there,” Dan tried to say in an upbeat tone.
“I don’t want to go,” Daniel said flatly, as he tried to compose himself further. Daniel then pointed at the door. “Please, just go. I will be fine. I don’t want to live there. My Dad said that he didn’t want me to go there. And I don’t…”
“Son, I wish you would listen to reason. You will not be able to live here by yourself. Living on roots and squirrels, all alone…Come winter, you will certainly starve. Everyone needs help, Daniel!”
This pair obviously had no idea about what was stored away in the basement, and Daniel knew better than to mention it. “I have always been fine by myself. Made it through the last winters…I don’t need anyone to help me!” Daniel shot, his voice rising. He was starting to lose control of his emotions again.
“We can’t just leave him here,” Susan said, speaking to Sam like Daniel was not in the room. Her voice had softened, and Daniel could see that she wanted to do something for him, anything that would lessen the effects of the news that they had just brought to him.
“What do you propose, Susan? We cannot rightly drag him away if he does not want to go. You and I both know that the Council will not offer him a card, which, need I remind you, that you only retain one vote on. He does not fit the criteria,” Sam said woefully.
“Maybe that’s the answer,” Susan said, a weird smile curling up.
“What? What’s the answer?” Sam replied tersely, not used to being the one in the dark about things.
“He’s young. He’s strong…” Susan answered, trying to lead him to the answer.
“Ahh! Well, Okay then. How about it, Daniel? Would you like a job?” Sam asked, once he understood what she was going on about.
“A job?” Daniel thought aloud. “I don’t know what I could do. I guess…I don’t understand,” he responded, wondering why they were both smiling at him.
“What do you have in mind, Susan?” Sam asked timidly. He knew that the city planned on having the newly formed Maintenance Department go house to house, conducting searches for dead bodies and supplies. Dan was really hoping that this gruesome task was not what Susan was going to suggest the young man do.
“Well, Ray has been hounding me for weeks about needing help. I just bet that Danny here…sorry…Daniel…would be of great use to him,” Susan answered smugly.
“Hmm, what do you think, Daniel? You will get paid well, and you will be able to buy your own food. The Warehouse bazaar has all sorts of other things that you could buy as well. Hell, you can even pay people to clean your clothes. And, trust me, son, you could use them,” Sam laughed, trying to bring some levity to the awkward situation.
“What would I be doing?” Daniel asked, wondering why they were trying to be so nice. They almost seemed to carry guilt in the way they looked at him.
“Ray is our bricklayer. Do you know what that is?” Dan asked, careful to not offend Daniel, which offended Daniel.
“Yeah, I guess so,” was all Daniel could say without sounding mad. The mayor was trying to be nice, and Daniel knew that all those years alone had made him unaccustomed to talking with people. Maybe he was just misreading them. It did not shake the feeling completely, though.
“Well, I can tell you this, it will be hard work. You’re not afraid of a little work, are you?” Sam asked, still trying to make Daniel smile.
Daniel did not know how to feel. He had just been told his father was dead, and here this man was almost laughing. He did not know how to gauge what he felt. The man was not laughing at his father’s death, but it still upset him. Daniel was more than confused; he did not know how to reign in his emotions. Again, Daniel felt incredibly uncomfortable around these strangers, and he just wanted to be left alone.
“I will work hard,” Daniel said, hoping that this would end the conversation sooner.
“Good. That’s great, Daniel. You know where the Warehouse is? Can you find your way there?” Sam asked, standing up.
“Yeah, my Dad let me drive his truck around once, he showed me where it was,” Daniel said slowly. The memories of the last few days with his father were still fresh enough to recall every detail. “What about his truck? Did they take that? Did you bury him?”
“Who? Oh, um…I think…well, we were…that is, the city was…” Sam stuttered, pleadingly looking over to Susan for help.
“Well, Daniel,” Susan intervened, “your Father’s truck is at the Warehouse. There was…well, some small talk…about letting the Maintenance Department use it, but I guess that it belongs to you now.” Her words were laced with disappointment. “As to the whereabouts of…Allen’s…your father’s remains, I am not really sure. I do know a small ceremony was performed by those that found him, but I am unaware as to exactly where that was.”
“There is no reason to concern yourself with that. I am sure your father was well taken care of. And the truck? Of course it’s his, Susan. You can pick it up when you come to work?” Sam said. His words were filled with something closely related to embarrassment. “I’ll even make sure that the keys are in it for you. How’s that sound?”
Seeing both visitors slowly moving towards the door, Daniel just nodded. He got up to show them out. His knees felt like they could barely carry him, and his head had started to pound rhythmically. Daniel could not wait to be rid of these bad news bearers and his eyes started to well-up again. Daniel forced himself to maintain a calm face.
“Can you be there on Monday? Let’s say…nine in the morning?” Susan asked, without breaking stride.
“Sure. Just one thing I need to know,” Daniel replied, reaching for the front door’s handle.
“Anything, Daniel, just ask,” Sam said kindly, reaching to place a hand on Daniel’s shoulder.
Daniel flinched away from the closing hand. He felt a little sorry for doing so, after he saw the man’s face look rebuffed. “What day is it?” Daniel asked meekly, a song learned a lifetime ago running through his brain. ‘There’s Sunday and Monday. There’s Tuesday and Wednesday…’
PART III
Chapter 19
Saturday, September 3 - 2039
Sleep deprived and emotionally drained, Daniel collapsed back onto the couch. Where his fierce independence was once worn as a badge of honor, the loneliness now felt like a vacant well; deep and foreign, without the slightest hint of light shining down. There was no foreseeable way out; short of the relief that death could bring. Daniel’s actions since finding his family dead were a paradox. On the one hand, he had fortified the house to increase his safety. On the other hand, he had been slowly killing himself. His efforts went entirely into setting booby traps, completely abandoning efforts to keep himself alive.
He had not eaten anything for six days, and he only slept now because his body had given out. Daniel could not remember the last time he had taken a drink, and his throat burned and his head throbbed. He curled into a ball on the couch, his body fighting against him, and his own stench burning at his nostrils. His stomach had stopped churning, begging to be fed, a few days back. Now it burned a
hole inside him. The pain was nearing unbearable levels, as acidic blood had started to leak from his anus. The burning, blood-speckled bile that came out of his body had made him feel concerned, and concern for himself was something that he had been trying to avoid.
A fitful, shaking sleep came for Daniel, as did the disconcerting dreams that kept descending upon him like a predator. Horrible visions of loss repeated over and over. He saw his father, his wife, his mother, and, worst of all, his daughter. Even in nightmares, Daniel wished for death. The parts of the dreams with his father always saw him holding the red book from the library. The other parts of the dreams all held the color red within them too, usually in the form of blood.
Surprisingly, when Daniel awoke, a small part of his thinking had changed. He still loathed his, apparently, destined solitude, but there was something else fighting to emerge. Strangely enough, it felt like appreciation. He understood that the time spent with Corinne and Rebecca had been worth something. Not anything tangible, but something that should be remembered fondly. He needed to take the anger that he felt and turn it into something else; something that would sustain him.
Just the memory of Rebecca’s laugh, and of her toothy smile, had to be worth living, just so they could be remembered. He still felt a deep sorrow with the knowledge that he would never see the smile or hear the laugh again, but he had seen it and heard it; that alone needed to be cherished and honored. The memories would be tough to overcome but, somehow, Daniel would have to find a way. He would live alone again, the exposed nerves of the truth as a constant reminder that it had not always been so.
It took two days of eating mushy rice and drinking thin broth before Daniel felt well enough to brave going back outside. He was afraid of his own fuzzy memory, unable to recall most of the past week. While he had placed numerous traps outside during those days, Daniel was in such a reduced capacity that he could not remember where they all were. The fish hooks, dipped in his own feces that hung from the overhangs of the house, the thin planks of wood hidden in the tall grass, which had feces-dipped nails poking out, and the mouse trap trip wires scattered about were now as much a danger to him as they were to anyone else trying to get close to the house. Now in a clearer state of mind, Daniel wanted to go map out all of the dangers that lay in wait outside.
