Jay turned a bright shade of red at her revelation. He darted his eyes around the room and cleared his throat one more time as he tried to regain his composure. Alex could feel his heart racing against her palm and leaned in closer. Jay cradled her shoulders in his large hands as he tried to calm his own breathing and prevent himself from doing something he’d regret.
“So—” he attempted to change the subject “—I was told we are supposed to play a game. How about that game now?”
With a sigh, Alex backed away and went over to pick the game up off the kitchen counter where she had laid it to rest. Jay did this to her every time they got closer. At first, she thought it was because of Richard, but now she suspected he wanted to keep her at arm's length for a different reason. What happened to Jay to make him so afraid of letting another person get close to him? Alex suspected this had something to do with his life before Winter Haven, but now was not the time to pry into a man’s past.
Taking the game over to the living room, Alex sat down on the floor and opened it up. Flipping open the board, she shuffled the challenge cards and placed them in the center. It's been ten years since Alex played this game, but the sight of it sure brought back fond memories. Spreading out the player pieces she turned to Andy who was leaning over and studying them carefully.
“Which one do you want to be buddy?”
Andy leaned in closer to study each piece meticulously. Picking up each of the eight pieces to study them up close before placing them back down. After a few minutes, he settled on a slender piece that looked like a cat and human hybrid which he handed over to Alex. Placing it on start for him she reached over and ruffled his hair.
“Cat woman. Good choice.” putting her hands on her lap Alex turned to look at Jay “And which one do you choose?”
Jay sat with his arms crossed and his chin in his hand as he glanced from one game piece to another. Picking up a man with a crossbow, he placed the metal person on start.
“The hunter...” Alex raised her brow “... interesting choice indeed. All right, I think I'll be the wolfman.”
Picking up a piece resembling a man and wolf crossed together she put it down next to the other two. Fishing around the box Alex found the instructions for the game, and she read them out loud, occasionally glancing from Andy to Jay. Satisfied they were paying attention, she continued to read to the end before placing the instructions down in the box.
“All right. You get all that?”
“Yup.” Andy rocked back and forth smiling
“Yeah, let's play.”
“In that case, Andy gets to go first since he is the youngest.”
“Yay! Thank you, Alex.”
Andy eagerly grabbed the die to take his turn. Shaking his small arms vigorously he let it go, only to roll a three. Alex looked at the scowl on his face as she remembered how she felt when she used to do poorly at this game. Yet, she always ended up winning at the end somehow. It wasn't until she was older that she realized Tom was using his magic to help her win, so now she decided to do the same for Andy.
Picking up the die to take her turn, Alex enchanted it to roll a one and acted disappointed at the result. As the game wore on Andy was doing better than both Alex and Jay combined without her help. And as the hour passed the game wound down, and they declared Andy the winner. The smile of joy on the boy’s face was priceless, and Alex delighted at his enthusiasm.
“I won! I can't believe I won!” Andy squealed “Thank you for playing with us Alex. It was fun.”
“Any day little man. Though, I should thank you. It's been a long time since I played and had fun like this.”
“Does this mean you play with us again?”
“Any time. It would be my pleasure.”
Smiling, Alex reached over to ruffle Andy’s hair. The joy she felt from interacting with the boy was indescribable as if she was a mother who got her child back after someone stole them. She wondered if this was what a family was supposed to feel like. Was it them sitting in a small living room, playing a game together, and recalling memories of good days gone by? She contemplated the answers to her questions as she picked up the game pieces and put them away with Jay’s help.
“All right little man,” Jay handed the box to Alex and looked at his son, “it's bedtime.”
“Aww, Daddy, do I have to?”
“Yes, now get upstairs to wash up. I will come up to tuck you in.”
“All right...” Andy said with a pout, “but can I say goodnight to Alex first?”
Jay gave his son a quick nod. The little boy came over and put his arms around Alexandra's neck, hugging her as tight as he could. Reciprocating, she hugged back and held Andy close, sad she’d have to let him go until tomorrow night.
“Goodnight Alex. I love you.”
Frozen by his words, Alex couldn’t figure out what to say next. She hadn’t felt the unconditional love of a child before, but the phrase hit her like the most potent spirit blast she’d ever experienced. If she did not know better, she’d say she missed hearing him say it. Teary-eyed, Alex gave the boy a soft kiss on his forehead and hugged him tighter trying to savor the moment for a while longer.
“I love you too buddy. Goodnight.”
A warm hand squeezed her shoulder from behind. Closing her eyes, Alex leaned her cheek on the back of Jay’s hand and smiled. Yes, she thought, this was what a family feels like. This man, this boy, they did not calm her inner demons; instead, they made them dance. This was what being alive felt like, this was what it was all about, and she would never give it up.
Parting from Andy, Alex gave him one last kiss on his forehead before Jay picked his son up and carried him up to his room. Picking the game back up, she walked over to place it back on the shelf. Alex tried to recall memories of her mother picking up after Tom or her, but no such memory came. Rosemary wouldn't be caught dead doing manual housework as they reserved such things for Rupert and the rest of the servants.
Alexandra did, however, have many fond memories of Rupert taking care of her. She recalled him telling her bedtime stories and healing any scrape she got with powers he should not have had. Bittersweet emotions crept up inside, and she had to sit herself down to process everything she remembered. Realizing Rupert had been more of a father to her than Arthur, Alex bit down on her lip wondering if perchance she only cared for Andy because of her own selfish desires to fill a void her parents left behind. As she pondered these new feelings she had, Jay’s heavy footsteps fell from the stairwell.
“You let him win.”
Jay's strong arms wrapped around her from behind and his breath tickled the skin at the back of her neck as he leaned in to talk. His presence always made her get hot inside, almost like a raging fever had assaulted her body. Having him so close to her now was threatening to send Alex into a total meltdown as the desire for Jay overcame her. Placing her hand on top of his arm she leaned back into him and sighed.
“What are you trying to say, I cheated?”
Jay chuckled as he leaned in to kiss her temple. Alexandra’s cheeks flushed an unflattering shade of red as his warm lips parted from her. Jay released her from his hold and walked over to sit next to her. Placing his arm behind her back, he slid in close enough to make her heart flip.
“I would not call what you did cheating. More like swaying the game to make a little boy happy. You know, something a mother would do.” Jay paused for a moment and looked at Alex. “Now that I think about it, you are the closest thing to a mother figure Andy has ever had. So, I guess I should thank you for taking on that role for him without complaint. I appreciate it, and everything else you do for us.”
Alex sat next to him stunned. She didn't realize she had taken on a mother-like role for Andy. What if the feelings she got were not selfish at all, what if they were normal? Sitting there blinking her eyes, Alex wondered if this was what being a mother feels like. Not that she would know as her own mother was nothing like she wante
d to be. Feeling warm and tingly inside, she placed her head on Jay’s shoulder.
“You know. I've meant to ask you…” Alex looked up at him “… what did happen to Andy's mother?”
“Shit, Alex. You really gonna ask that?”
The expression on Jay's face darkened. This was not something he ever wanted to talk about again, even if he knew telling Alex about that portion of his life was unavoidable. He wanted to be upfront with her, but at the same time, he feared what she would think of him once she learned the truth. Looking over at Alexandra, Jay watched her emerald eyes glisten with curiosity, and a tear threatened to free itself from his eye.
Besides Jay, Alex studied the pained expression on his face, pondering if she should push him further. Part of her regretted asking, while another part needed to know the whole story. Recalling what Phyllis once told her, how there was no love without trust, Alex sighed. She had trusted this man completely, and if he had even a smidgen of feelings for her, he would have to trust her too if there was a future to be had between them.
“You don't have to tell me. But why keep it bottled up inside? I'm here for you, and you know you can trust me.” Placing her slender finger on Jay’s chin Alex tilted his head towards her, peering into his eyes “Please Jay, let me in a little bit.” She pleaded. “Whatever it is, it won't make me feel any different towards you.”
With his gaze fixed on her, Jay tightened his grip around his pant legs, turning his knuckles white as he held on. Tenderly, Alex placed her small hand over his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. With a nod of his head, Jay took a deep breath and exhaled, there was no avoiding it any longer. He’d have to tell her sooner rather than later if he wanted this to go beyond what they had now. If the girl still stuck around after hearing his dark past, he’d know for certain she was the one.
“All right, I'll tell you.” Jay glanced down at his feet and took another deep breath. “It all started when the doctor and I came over to Neward. As I mentioned before, we were there to help a friend of his at the local clinic. This friend put us up at the local inn, and we had been there for about a month with no end in sight. It also happened that I had just turned twenty-five during our stay. To celebrate, I was at the bar downstairs, getting drunk. The innkeeper who’s had her eyes on me the whole time we were there started coming on to me, and she would not stop.
“She was a much older woman, in her late thirties, but not a bad looking broad for her age. I was young, stupid, and drunk off my ass. I had no idea what I was even doing. Well, one thing led to another, and I woke up in her bed after having slept with her. I've never even been with a woman before then. I was so ashamed of myself, I vowed it would be a onetime thing.
“But the next thing I know was her telling me she was pregnant with my baby. I was beside myself. I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't even want kids given my blood status. On top of that, I had no interest in this woman. I had no feelings for her. Still, I was going to try to make it work, you know so that my kid wouldn't have to grow up not knowing his father like I did. So, I tried to stick around and have a relationship with her, except, it was awful. We could not get along at all. We fought almost every single day. Yet I was determined to stick it out for my child.
“That's why when she was getting closer to having the baby, I decided I was going to ask her to marry me. Even though all we did was fight, I thought it was the right thing to do, for Andy. And when I asked her, I wanted to be honest about everything. I told her about my blood status, and my past as I saw no point in going into a marriage with such secrets. Not to mention she'd find out anyway when we returned to East Ashland.
“I thought she’d accept me for who I was, but instead, she just freaked out on me. She started yelling at me, hitting me, and throwing things around. She told me I was a dirty, worthless scumbag, and she would not have the baby of a half-blood. She said I should have told her what a freak I was before I slept with her, and she only wanted me to get out of Neward. She called my son a monster, Alex, she said she could not stand the thought of it growing inside her.
“I tried to reason with her, even told her that when we move to Ashland, it wouldn't matter much. But she didn’t listen, she just ran into the kitchen, grabbed a vial of glinaid and drank it. She said she’d rather die than see an abomination brought into the world. As she collapsed convulsing on the floor, I ran to get the doctor as quickly as I could. By the time we got there, it was too late for her, but the doctor managed to save Andy. I promised to take care of him. Not wanting to face the shame of what I did back home, I opted to stay and raise him here, alone.”
As he wrapped up his story, Jay sat on the sofa staring into space. Not daring to look over at Alex, a stray tear glistened in the corner of his eye. He wondered what she thought of him now and if the reality of what he was finally hit her. Overwhelmed by sadness, he trembled while clutching on the fabric of his pants, until Alex wrapped her arms around him and brought her body closer to his. Turning his head to face her, a soft expression, and a warm smile of a stubborn woman greeted Jay.
“I'm so sorry Jay. It’s just awful what she did to you and Andy. She was a damn fool, for giving the both of you up.”
“Can you blame her?” Jay said meekly as the single tear traced a path down his face. “Who would want to be with a criminal? And that’s all I am here, a criminal.”
“Don't say that, don't you dare say that.” Alexandra fought back her tears. Her voice was angry, but it was breaking as she chocked back the guilt she felt. “You are a good man and a good father. You're not a criminal, you can't be, you have committed no crime. The only reason the pure-bloods label you one is because your very existence is a threat to the power they hold so dear.”
Shaking from anger and sorrow, Alex looked up at Jay. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of his suffering. It was as if his pain was her own, and she felt every last bit of betrayal Jay felt throughout his life. Beside her, Jay pulled her away and looked at her with an earnest expression on his face.
“Could you do it? Love me that is. Would you be willing to risk it all to be with me? Would you make a life with me?” Jay studied the expression on Alexandra’s face. Her eyes said yes, but he needed to hear it from her, he needed to know how far she would go. “Can you see yourself raising my children even though the world would see them as nothing more than abominations?”
Alex felt her cheeks flush as his eyes keenly observed her. Could he be so blind he did not see how she felt? How could Jay just sit there, look her in the eyes, and ask her something he should already know the answer to? The pain Alex felt inside her was becoming unbearable as if her heart tried to rip its way out of her chest.
“Yes, absolutely.” Alex murmured “The world be damned. I don't need its approval on how I live my life. I much rather burn for what I feel is right than spend my life being a mindless sheep too scared to stand up for myself and the people I care about.”
Jay fixed his blue eyes on her, and the sadness they once harbored faded away. A glimmer of hope flickered in his chest as he realized this feeling he had for Alex was real. The glint in her eyes told him all he needed to know, this one was not going anywhere, she was the woman from his dreams. The mere thought of it scared Jay, for now, he had something he wanted to protect as much as Andy. Placing his hand on Alexandra’s back, Jay leaned in closer to whisper in her ear.
“You mean that, princess?”
The temperature in the room jumped a hundred and ten degrees. Alex was getting flushed with the fear that Jay would feel how hard her heart was beating. His goatee tickled the skin of her neck as he nuzzled her hair. She could feel his hot breath on her ear as Jay exhaled. With her hand on his knee, she grasped the material of his pants as he kissed her neck.
“Yes,” she breathed out.
This was the only thing to came out. What Alex wanted to tell Jay though was how much she loved him. She wished to tell him how her soul yearned for his soul the same way
a dying fish yearns for water. That when he smiled, her soul bled in agony as she waited for him to notice her heart pumping fresh blood through her dried-up veins. But no matter what she wanted to say to him, a simple yes was all she could muster.
Jay must have sensed how she felt as he wrapped his arm around her, sliding in even closer. Realizing how bad she was blushing, Alex tried to lean her face away, but he moved it back to look at him. Leaning in closer to her, he closed his eyes, and Alex could almost feel his lips on hers. Putting her arms around him, Alex longed to kiss him.
Surrendering to the moment, she closed her eyes, waiting for their lips to touch. Lady fate, however, would not let them off this easy. As Alex sat in Jay’s arms, longing for his lips, the sound of the tavern door being forced open startled her to her feet. The ruckus coming from the tavern even startled Cosmo awake, who shot up in the air with a loud bark. Jay jumped up and slid Alex behind his back as they listened from the living room for the sound of the late-night intruders.
Chapter 16
The Secret Plot
Jay and Alex stood in the living quarters of the small cottage in the woods, exchanging worried glances. Listening to the voices resonating from the other end of the door they could hear two men talking to one another, their voices growing louder as they got close to the bar. Turning to Alex, Jay had a finger over his lips with a frown on his face.
“Stay here. I'll go check it out.”
“No way. I'm coming with you.”
“Are you insane?”
“Weee, rhee.”
“What the pig said. You are not exactly inconspicuous.”
“Who said I was going in my human form?”
With a smirk, Alex began her transformation. Shrinking to the floor in a ball of light until a fluffy white cat sat at Jay's feet, purring. With a sigh, Jay shook his head. Then, as if surrendering to her whim, he motioned for her to follow him. He walked out of the tavern door with the cat following at his feet and a frustrated Cosmo floating by his head.
Dark World Genesis Page 14
