This wasn’t just a layover point, it was somewhere that had been worked out of repeatedly.
And often.
Sitting behind a desk was a male Elf who looked to be in his thirties. His bright blonde hair was pulled behind his ears and his chin rested in one hand.
“So, it is you,” muttered the Elf, looking at Rene. “I was wondering. Though I’m certain I don’t have a bounty on my head. You can consider me confused.”
“Don’t need a bounty when you deal in kidnapping,” Rene said, holding his sword in front of himself. He began to close in on the Elf.
“That’s a fair point,” said the Elven man, nodding his head. “Can’t even fault you for it. It makes sense.”
“Yeah, so how about you very nicely stand up, turn around, and put your hands behind your back,” Rene said.
“If we must, we must,” said the Elf, and then he stood up. “Could I perhaps pay you the fine I’ll be charged with instead and we can consider this all done?”
“Fine?” Rene asked, pulling one of the ropes out of his inventory.
“Yes. The fine they’ll charge me before they let me go,” said the Elf. “Well? Can I just pay it to you and be on my way?”
“There’s no way they’d let you go with a fine,” Rene grumbled, sheathing his sword and grabbing both of the Elf’s wrists.
“Ah, clearly you’re new here,” murmured the Elf. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been caught, I’m afraid. It’s the third.
“I’ll get a big fine, maybe a talking-to with Carden, and then I’ll be sent on my way. You can’t really arrest the formal ambassador of another nation. Which means you didn’t even know who I was.”
Rene frowned at that, finishing the binding around the Elf’s wrists.
I… don’t know what to do with that.
We’ve dealt with those given diplomatic immunity before.
Yes, and it turned out really bad. Remember?
The person who’d ended up taking them to the police had been in more trouble than the ambassador.
There wasn’t a good way out of this in Rene’s mind. Especially if it wasn’t even the first or second time he’d been caught. It meant he would just keep doing it.
Over and over and over.
Until someone took a more permanent solution in hand.
They need a hero.
They do need a hero.
And someone who can do what needs to be done.
Yes. Though I’ll miss the children.
And Odelia. Irini. Alana. Aurora.
They were all so much fun.
Maybe we can convince him to let us try again?
Doubt it.
He doesn’t seem the type.
Yeah… me neither.
Rene pulled his dagger out and drove it into the Elf’s liver. Groaning, the man slumped forward partially into his desk. Trying to get away from Rene.
Drawing his hand back, Rene stabbed the Elf again. This time in the kidney.
“Stop!” shrieked the Elf.
“Can’t—you’ll do it again,” Rene grumbled. Then he stabbed the Elf once more.
“I won’t, I’ll stop!” pleaded the Elf, trying to hunch away from Rene and his blade.
“No, you won’t,” said Rene with absolute certainty. Switching his blade to the other hand, he started stabbing the Elf again.
“Stop, stop, stop!” shouted the Elf.
Rene didn’t respond. Instead, he kept stabbing.
He plunged the knife into the Elf over and over and over.
Sometimes, it took a lot of knife work to put someone down.
“Stooooop!” screamed the Elf even as Rene stabbed him again several more times. Then he switched the blade back to the other hand.
This was going to be one of those times where it took a lot of knife work.
I hope Olivia can get everyone out safely.
Me too.
Good thing we left money for Lori just in case.
Good thing.
Rene buried his blade into the Elf again, even as he moaned and squirmed away from the steel.
The alignment bar flashed red and became a solid crimson. There was no blue left.
Ignoring it, Rene just kept pumping the knife into the Elf.
Epilogue
“Well, that was certainly different,” muttered the Watcher. He was sitting on his throne, staring at Rene.
All around him was the utter blackness of the void. All that existed was Rene, the Watcher, and his throne.
Rene shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t have much to say. There was nothing really he could say. It was exactly as the Watcher had seen.
He’d also demonstrated in the past that he could read Rene’s mind.
If anything, this meeting was more of a formality.
There was no point to it.
“Nothing to say?” the Watcher asked.
“Not really,” Rene muttered. “I knew what I was doing. I chose it. He needed to die, so he died.”
“Personally, I agree,” the Watcher said, nodding his head. “Definitely needed to go. Though the way you sent him… goodness. That was rather messy.
“You could have just slit his throat or gone for an aorta. You’ve done that before.”
“He needed to die painfully,” Rene admitted. He’d considered making it quick.
Decided against it, too.
Sighing, the Watcher shook his head.
“And here you are. Dead again,” the Watcher complained. “Except, really… you don’t belong here. Not this time, at least.”
“I don’t?” Rene asked, somewhat confused.
“No. I mean… wow, that was a lot of murder, death, and mayhem right at the end there,” the Watcher said, then laughed. “You even crushed that lady’s head!”
Unable to respond to that with anything useful, Rene didn’t bother to try.
“But… you did it for others. You did it to save others from being kidnapped in the future. You knowingly sacrificed what was left of your alignment bar, to make sure it didn’t happen to someone else,” the Watcher said, leaning forward in his throne. “You weren’t forced to make that choice. You made it all on your own. Made it on your own, knowing exactly what would happen.”
Frowning, Rene wasn’t really sure how to handle what was being said.
In his head, it sounded a lot like an excuse was being made for him and his actions. An excuse that might get him out of being dead, especially if he didn’t belong here as the Watcher had said.
“The problem though is you’re still dead. You did still empty your alignment bar.” The Watcher held his hands up in a “what do I do?” pose. “And that means you violated the contract and I’m going to skull-fuck you.”
Rene nodded his head at that.
That was more of what he’d expected when he made his choice. His expectation was that he’d receive exactly what was coming his way.
I did it! I made him do that bit.
Punish me and set him free.
“Ha… no. You are you, and that includes your subconscious, even if you have splintered it off from the rest of your mind,” the Watcher said. “Though it’s very curious to hear the Monster try and sacrifice itself.”
To say he was shocked himself at what the Monster was trying to do was putting it mildly. Rene had never heard the Monster refer to it as anything other than a part of what he was.
I are you, you are me. We are we.
But it was worth a try.
“No. The contract will be enacted. Except… I find I don’t care to do that,” the Watcher admitted with a laugh. “I don’t care that the contract was violated, and I see the sheer amount of good you’ve done and have been doing. That you’re capable of so much and you’ve surprised me. Considerably.
“So, I’m going to offer you a deal. Some quid pro quo, as it were.”
“I’m listening,” Rene muttered.
He wasn’t stupid or prideful. He knew his position wasn’t even precarious�
�it was just bad. There was no other way to say it.
Anything outside of absolute supplication and acceptance was the definition of foolish.
“I need a man of your talents,” the Watcher said. “I’d like to send you out on some wet work here and there.
“The reason for that, is I’m involved in what you’d probably call a shadow war. I have a number of smaller conflicts through allies I’m managing.”
“Right,” Rene said. “How much wet work are we talking?”
“Nothing too bad. A few days out of every month,” the Watcher explained, getting up out of his throne. “An assassination here. Theft there. Maybe some sabotage work. Nothing too terrible, and never outside of what I believe to be your capabilities.”
And we’d go back to our wives?
To go to university and live our lives?
“That’s exactly it,” the Watcher said in response to the Monster. “You do my jobs, you live your life as you see fit.
“By the way, having a harem isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Takes a lot more work than I thought it would. There are literally days where I do nothing but talk to my wives. In groups and as individuals. Just to spend time with them, so they don’t feel abandoned or lonely.”
“I’m not saying no—but what happens if I do?” Rene asked.
“I’d probably hand you off to a demon I know to skull-fuck you for all eternity,” the Watcher said. “I’m personally not interested, but… well… I have many worlds I look over. There’s a few where they get absolute pleasure through the suffering of others. It takes all kinds, you know?”
Rene nodded his head. He could definitely understand that, given his background and what he’d been at one point.
“Yeah, I do know,” Rene muttered.
“Oh, you would, wouldn’t you? Haha, ah, that’s funny,” the Watcher said. Then he started laughing much harder. “The look on those summoners’ faces when you fell dead right in front of them. Oh my shit. It was so funny. And the noise you made. It was like this… splat… sound.”
Rolling his eyes, Rene remembered how much he really didn’t like the Watcher sometimes.
“Alright, so, deal?” the Watcher asked.
“Deal. Though I’d like a time limit on this. Forever seems somewhat… overbearing,” Rene countered.
“Oh. That’s fair. Twenty years,” the Watcher said. “What you’d consider a career of sorts. Then you could retire. Anyway. Deal?”
“Yeah, deal,” Rene said with a sigh.
“Great. Alright, I’ll send you back now. Oh, and thanks by the way,” the Watcher said with a smirk. “Your words to those kids left a mark. I’ve received a number of very honest prayers from your children. I’ve even granted a few of them. It’s always rather nice to hear such earnest prayers.”
He does hear prayers.
Should we have been praying?
“No, but you’re welcome to do so if you need to let me know something,” the Watcher said, then pressed a thumb to Rene’s forehead. “I’m not always watching you know. Poking me isn’t terrible.”
Then Rene was flung into darkness.
“Hello,” said a woman’s voice. “I’ll be guiding you back.”
“Uh… hello,” Rene said.
“I’m Amelia,” said the voice.
“Hi,” Rene mumbled.
“I’m likely going to be your contact for the jobs. I’m the Goddess of Assassins,” Amelia said with a chuckle. “You were such a good one, too! Pity. If you had known about me, I’m sure I could have granted you some powers.
“Oh, here we are. Good luck!”
Wait.
What?
And suddenly, Rene was back in his body in the Elf’s office.
The Elf collapsed forward over the desk, unmoving. Blood was pouring out of him, even though he’d clearly passed out due to blood loss.
Looking down at himself, Rene found he was whole and healthy.
Even the stab wound was gone.
When he looked at his alignment bar, he found it had a black and yellow interior. The word “Disabled” appeared across the whole of it.
Oh. I… okay.
Let’s go get Olivia and the others!
Hero!
Pushing away from the dying Elf, Rene left the office and started back to the wagons.
***
“And… that’s what happened,” Rene said, looking around the room.
Irini, Alana, and Lori were all watching him.
“You really are a hero,” Lori said with a very subdued smile.
HERO!
“Okay. I’m going to go back to my forge,” Lori said, getting up from the table. She walked out of the room and vanished, heading straight to the backyard where work had begun on her forge.
Just as she’d requested.
“Should have gotten me,” Irini growled, her tail lashing wildly behind her. Her ears were also quite flat on the top of her head.
She was the very definition of angry house cat.
“You’re right, I should have. I fucked up,” Rene admitted. “You and I are going to train a bit and then you’ll be coming with me going forward.”
“Oh,” Irini said, her ears slowly perking up. “Okay. Last time we played together was fun. I was exhausted when we were done. I just wanted to lie there and not move. I was so sweaty, though.”
Alana’s brows twitched at that, but she didn’t say anything. Clearly, she wasn’t overly fond of Irini, nor was the Alis fond of the Elf.
“You’ll need to tell Odelia about all of this,” Alana murmured, tapping the table between them.
“Yeah. I sent a note to her house to let her know I’d be visiting today,” Rene said, trying not to completely admit what he was going to do with Odelia. They were going shopping for a courting present. One she could actually wear in public without feeling like a spectacle. “Going to talk to her about it. Not sure what the city regent is going to do with all those kids though.
“I kinda dumped them off at his doorstep as the Hood, along with all those corpses.”
“Yes. I can’t imagine that’ll go over very well,” Alana said. “Especially with the Elven ambassador missing.”
“Yeah. They won’t find his corpse. I broke it down and ditched it on the way. Only have his head and torso left,” Rene said.
That wasn’t quite true, however.
Most of the Elf was in his inventory, though he was indeed broken down into bits and pieces. There wouldn’t be a problem with disposing of him a piece at a time here and there.
Behind Rene, and towards the front of the house, there was the sound of the door opening. The trod of feet and muffled voices came next.
Then the door closed, and boots clumped and thumped toward him. Several of them.
Before he, Irini, or Alana could respond, the door opened to the study they were in.
His sister flew through the doorway and wrapped him up in a hug. Pressing her head to his shoulder.
“Brother! I’m so glad to see you! You look like you’re doing really well!” His sister leaned back and smiled at him.
She shared features with both their mother and father, though she did lean closer to their mother. Curly long brown hair and dark blue eyes set in a rather pretty face. She’d grow up to be very pretty, Rene didn’t doubt.
“Ellie?” Rene said
“Hello, dear,” his mother said, walking in through the door next. She had long brown hair, a more mature figure, and brown eyes. “Oh, stop it, Ellie. He has guests and we showed up unannounced.”
“Ah, so it seems,” his father said, coming in next. “I suppose we could have let him know we were coming.”
His father gave him a wide smile. Rene definitely shared some of his fathers looks but certainly not all of them. It was obvious, he’d done it exactly this way on purpose to catch him out.
Clement Anatolis delighted in doing such things.
“You must be… Alana and Irini,” his father said, looking at the t
wo women.
Both had shot to their feet the moment Ellie had entered the room.
Alana suddenly looked extremely nervous. Her hands fluttered to the rather pretty dress she was wearing and then her hair.
“I am indeed Irini the Alis. I’m a master assassin currently in his employ,” said Irini with a grin. Then she pointed to her ear with the cuts in it. “Your son has notched me. I’m claiming his kits in return, since he’s spoiled my beauty forever forward. He’s very ugly, but he is very useful in other ways.”
Both his mother and father looked rather shocked at that.
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, this isn’t-
“I’m Alana Cleary, and I was formally invited into his home to be his Elven housewife. I’ve accepted and am living under with him under Elven custom,” Alana said, bowing her head toward his parents. “We haven’t formally slept together as of yet, but it’s likely to occur very soon. At which point, I’ll adopt your surname and we can begin family planning.”
“Now wai—”
“Rene?” called a voice from the door. “Oh, hello. Whom do I have the pleasure of meeting?”
Odelia!?
Stepping in through the doorway was Odelia. She was wearing the freakishly massive and overbearing necklace he’d given her. Apparently, she’d wanted to wear it for visiting him.
“I’m Rene’s father. You must be Odelia. That’s a lovely necklace by the way. I’ve never seen the like,” his father said.
“Oh, thank you. And yes, I am,” Odelia said, smiling at his father and then his mother. “Oh, I can see that he doesn’t get his good looks just from his father, but his mother. Hello, how do you do?”
“Hello, dear,” Rene’s mother said with a kind smile. “I’m doing quite fine.”
Odelia’s eyes slowly went to Alana and froze there.
They were locked on the Elven maiden that was now revealed to be exactly what she was.
“Alan,” Odelia said, inclining her head to Alana.
“It’s… Alana,” said the Elf, looking sheepish.
“Ah,” Odelia murmured, then turned to Irini.
“Irini. I’m Rene’s Alis and assassin,” Irini said, then pointed to her ear again. “Rene has notched me. I’m claiming his kits in return since he’s spoiled my beauty forever forward. He’s very ugly, but he is very useful in other ways. He’s very talented with his hands.”
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