Her mind was wandering again, as it was wont to do, heading back to memories that made her uncomfortable, so she pulled her little notebook out of her pocket and flipped it open to the short list she’d made just moments ago.
Abby was looking down at her scribbles on the paper, trying to estimate how much all this would cost as she pulled open the door to the stairwell. She stepped inside and almost bumped into a person going up the stairs. “Sorry,” she muttered. She looked up and found herself almost nose to nose with Hiamovi.
This was the first time Abby and Hiamovi had been this close to each other since the night Abby shoved him out of her apartment. They stared at each other like they’d never before seen another human being. The silence hung so heavy in the air that Abby felt like she had to hold her breath.
“Sorry,” she said again in a whisper as she shuffled to the side, her shoulders hunched and head bowed.
“Wait,” Hiamovi insisted, holding up his hand.
Abby looked back up into his dark, onyx eyes, just able to make out her own reflection in them. Part of her wanted to lash out at him again, to force him away once and for all. It’d be easier to strangle the emotions he stirred up in her if she could make him hate her. But the young girl that still lived somewhere in a remote corner of her heart, the part of her that used to force a smile to her face whenever she thought of him, refused to do that.
Hiamovi wasn’t saying anything. He seemed equally uncertain as Abby as to what he wanted to do or say. At last Abby couldn’t take the silence any longer so she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“I’m going undercover in the DAS,” she said.
“You’re what?” Hiamovi asked. The sorrow on his face vanished in an instant and was replaced with a look of concern.
Abby licked her lips and looked over her shoulder, making sure they were alone before continuing. “I don’t know how much I can tell you, but I’ll be going undercover in a couple of weeks. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”
“Abby, that’s really dangerous,” Hiamovi said. “They’ll kill you if you’re found out.”
“I know,” Abby replied.
“Christ, drop the brave hero act,” Hiamovi said in frustration, running a hand through his black hair. “This isn’t a game! You could die!”
“I know!” Abby repeated. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. I’m not trying to be brave. If I die, I just… ”
“Just what, Abby?”
Abby shook her head and looked to her side, away from Hiamovi. She couldn’t look him in the eyes when she said what she was thinking. “I just don’t care,” she whispered.
Hiamovi lapsed into a stunned silence upon hearing Abby’s answer, and now he felt embarrassed that he had assumed she had just been putting up a false bravado. How could she just not care if she dies? How far had she sank since their last night together?
“Oh Abby,” he said quietly. He made a move as if to hug Abby, though he was hesitant. Slow and steady, as if he was attempting to pet a skittish rabbit, Hiamovi set his hands on Abby’s arms, wrapping his fingers around her elbows. Goosebumps ran up her arms and she shuddered at his touch, but not in a bad way.
“Yeah, what?” she asked, her voice quivering. But Hiamovi didn’t respond. Abby couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze again, fearing a look of judgment and disapproval. He must be thinking how pathetic she is for all but wishing death on herself, she thought.
Hiamovi then pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. He leaned into her, resting his head against hers. Abby breathed deep, allowing herself to fold into Hiamovi’s embrace. He still wasn’t saying anything, but right now the silence was exactly what Abby preferred.
After what felt like several minutes spent in that secluded stairwell, Hiamovi pulled himself away from Abby. He put his hand on her cheek, and she reached up to grab his hand in hers.
“I care,” he whispered. Abby’s heart melted, and she looked up into Hiamovi’s eyes.
“No, I… it’s more than that,” he stammered. “I… you can’t go on a dangerous mission like this unless you know… unless I tell you…”
“I love you,” Abby said in a hushed but firm tone, interrupting him.
“Yeah. Uh, that,” Hiamovi replied.
“No,” Abby said, shaking her head, “I love you.”
Hiamovi blinked twice, looking dumbstruck. “I love you too,” he finally said.
Abby never made it to the market that day. The moment Hiamovi’s words left his lips, she threw herself back into his arms, kissing him and pushing him back against the cold wall. Soon they were back in the hallway, hurrying back to Abby’s apartment and the privacy that those walls afforded them. The door had barely swung shut before they began pulling off each other’s clothes, heading towards the bedroom.
Chapter Twenty-Four
For the first time in weeks, Abby fell asleep in comfort and peace, a smile creasing her face. No angry voices yelling at her, no faces of the people she’d failed, just Hiamovi. He was not there with her, of course. He had returned to his granddad’s apartment on the upper floor, fearing he had spent too much time with Abby. Hector would ask where he’d been and both Abby and Hiamovi wanted to keep this just between them for now.
The next morning, Abby awoke to find herself with that ridiculous grin still on her lips. But how could she help herself? She flung the covers off of her and hopped out of bed, practically skipping all the way to her shower. As she stood in the steady stream of steaming hot water, Abby replayed Hiamovi’s words in her head over and over.
“He loves me,” she said aloud to herself, lathering up the soap.
After washing herself up, Abby turned the shower off and stepped out into the bathroom-turned-sauna as she began to dry herself with a thin, white towel. The mirror was completely fogged up, so she ran a dripping hand across the reflective surface, and what she saw there made her shriek, dropping her towel as she fell backwards into the tub.
A dead woman’s face. Blue as ice and bloated, staring back at her with a vicious sneer.
Abby shot straight up, her covers falling down into her lap as her chest, slick with sweat, heaved with each labored breath. She looked around her dark room, for she was indeed in her bedroom.
“Bad dream,” she whispered, clasping her hands together to calm herself. She knew that face in the mirror. How could she not recognize Emma? Abby glanced at her alarm clock and saw that it was only two in the morning. She laid back down in a huff, afraid to shut her eyes again. She slipped her hand under her pillow, fingering her Sig Sauer pistol there. That gave her a small measure of comfort, even if a gun would provide no defense against the ghostly spirits she feared.
Why did this keep happening? Why did these memories still torment her? Abby had been so certain before that being with Hiamovi had been healing her, but then she lashed out at him. Even now, after first confessing love for each other and then spending an afternoon in bed together, the nightmares still came. What was it going to take to finally heal? These questions and several more plagued Abby as she tried to fall back asleep.
Despite the nightmare, Abby did in fact fall asleep again soon, this time drifting into a dreamless slumber. She awoke again just as the first rays of sunlight peeped through the blinds in her bedroom. Glancing around the room, Abby slowly pushed herself up, unsure if this was just another nightmare like before. So she smacked herself hard across the face, grunting in pain.
“Yeah, I’m awake,” she whispered, rubbing her sore jaw. Abby made her way to the bathroom, where she took a very hot but quick shower, turning the water off just as soon as she’d finished cleaning herself. She stepped out into the bathroom, not yet grabbing her thin, white towel as she had in her dream. She stared at the fogged up mirror, terror mounting in her mind with every passing second. She lifted a hand to the mirror, and…
Abby recoiled, closing her eyes and swallowing the lump that was in her throat. She didn’t dare wipe the mirror clean. She was a coward. She g
rabbed her towel and flung the door open, stepping out into her living room. Goosebumps ran up her entire body at the sudden change in room temperature, so Abby dried herself off and then wrapped the towel around her body as she walked back towards the kitchen to grab an orange. But she was stopped by knocking at her door.
“Abby? It’s me, Hiamovi,” said the voice outside her apartment, and Abby smirked. What a silly boy, she thought to herself, as if she still couldn’t recognize his voice.
“Just a sec!” she called out, intending to get dressed before answering the door. Then again, what was the point of that after yesterday? He’d seen much more than just her legs poking out from under a towel, and she was closer to the door than she was to her bedroom anyway. She could let him in and then get dressed.
“Hi,” Abby said with a smile as she pulled open the door. Hiamovi was about to respond but the words died in his throat as he caught sight of Abby in her towel.
“I… hello,” he managed to spit out, his face turning red. “Is it alright if you come in? I mean, if I come in?” He was doing his best to maintain eye contact with Abby as he spoke, but his eyes still dropped for a moment once or twice.
“Sure,” Abby replied, gesturing for Hiamovi to enter.
“I’m just going to get dressed really quick,” she said as she walked into her bedroom. She turned around to see Hiamovi’s eyes following her. With a smile, Abby gave her door a gentle push, partly closing it. She quickly dressed, throwing on a pair of blue jeans and a plain grey T-shirt, then opened her door to find Hiamovi with that love-struck look still stuck on his face.
Abby smiled and said, “Well, how can I help you?”
This seemed to snap him out of his trance and he said, “Uh, I guess I was just coming down here to say good morning.”
“Hm, good morning indeed,” Abby replied. Hiamovi nodded his head but didn’t say anything further, so Abby continued. “You sure that’s all you wanted to talk about?” she asked, sitting down on the couch next to Hiamovi. She grabbed a black plastic comb from the coffee table and began to run it through her hair, waiting on Hiamovi to say something.
“I just wanted to talk about this assignment of yours,” he finally said, turning to face Abby. He paused again as he glanced into those gorgeous grey eyes of hers that twinkled as she raised the corners of her mouth into a smile. God, but it was difficult to focus whenever he looked at Abby.
“It just sounds way too dangerous,” Hiamovi said, “and I don’t think you should do it.”
“Well, first of all, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” Abby said, a little perturbed.
“I know, I just—”
“And second of all,” Abby interrupted, “I have to do it. It just… it sounds stupid but this just feels right. It feels like destiny.”
“But what good will it really do?” Hiamovi asked as he stood up. “Granddad thinks this is some kind of turning point, but how can that be? Say you do go undercover in the DAS. What do we get out of it? A little inside information? Patrol routes?”
Abby stood up to join Hiamovi, setting her comb down on the coffee table. “I kind of agree with your granddad on this one, Hiamovi,” she said. “If I’m with the DAS, I could get reliable information on convoys, troop movements, potential raids on resistance members. I could find out how much they know about us, or maybe even find a secret way into District 1!”
“At what cost though? The moment they realize you’re not who you say you are… ”
Hiamovi had to take a breath, leaving his sentence to hang in the air between them. “The odds will be stacked way against you, Abby,” he said.
“I can’t remember the last time they weren’t,” she whispered in response.
Hiamovi shook his head. “Alright,” he said, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Alright, if you’re this committed to the plan, who am I to stop you? But I want to be part of it. I want to be your liaison for as long as you’re gone.”
“I don’t think I’m the one who makes that call,” Abby said. She nodded her head upwards, indicating the apartment above hers.
“You leave that to me,” Hiamovi said, heading for the door. “But if I can’t be by your side for this one, I want to at least get as close as I can.”
“I’d like that,” Abby said with a smile. Hiamovi stopped frowning and smiled back. Despite the gloomy mood hanging about them, her smile was enough to lift his spirit back up.
Hector was indeed less than pleased with Hiamovi’s idea to act as Abby’s point of contact during her mission. But Hiamovi insisted, and it would raise fewer eyebrows for Abby to be seen meeting with someone her age, so Hector relented. The two young adults would handle this assignment themselves. He trusted both of them, and they’d already proven themselves to be as brave and capable as anyone else in the ReFounding Fathers.
Few preparations were needed on their part. Abby had only to wait on the arrival of Hector’s friends, at which point she would slip in with them, taking the place of their unfortunate daughter. She still wasn’t entirely satisfied with that part of the plot. Taking the place of a young woman dying of cancer just felt so wrong on so many levels. But they were the ones who had suggested the macabre idea, so it wasn’t all that bad, Abby reasoned.
The next several days went by in a blur for Abby. She worked fewer and fewer hours at her job, slowly removing herself from the public. It’s not like her face was plastered on the evening news, but it was best to be seen as little as possible at this point. With the extra spare time, Abby was able increase her training with Bob.
She would also spar with Hiamovi. A far cry from their first bout so long ago, Abby was now more than a match for him, and she would win as often as he did. They learned a lot from each other inside the ring, and were making each other much more deadly in a hand-to-hand scenario.
And, of course, they enjoyed the time together, especially with an indefinite separation looming. They had talked about the upcoming mission and where it left them, as far as their relationship was concerned, and they both agreed that it shouldn’t interfere with their status as boyfriend and girlfriend. They’d just consider it a long-distance relationship for now.
Finally, the day arrived. Abby was roused from her sleep in the grey hours before dawn, when the darkest part of the night was over but light was not yet shining over the horizon, by knocking on her door. She hopped out of bed with surprising eagerness, and quickly dressed in a pair of cargo pants and a green long-sleeved shirt. She pulled on socks and her boots, then slid her apartment key into her back pocket. That was all she would be taking with her, and even personal mementos like her picture of Zach had to remain behind. She couldn’t take any chances of her identity being discovered.
Abby took a quick glance around the inside of her apartment, knowing there was a good chance she’d never return. She didn’t have much, but this had still been her home for some time now, and she’d made more than a few memories here with Hiamovi. She smiled, then crossed to the front door, looking through the peephole to confirm who had knocked. It was Hiamovi, leaning against the opposite wall, his hands thrust into the pockets of his black jeans.
“Ready?” he whispered when Abby opened her door.
“We’ll see,” she replied as she locked her door.
They walked together in silence, down the hallway and into the stairwell, the same one they’d been in that day they… got together for the first time. They managed to rendezvous in secret a couple more times since then, but not the last few nights. Abby didn’t want any distracting emotions as the day of her departure approached. Still, now on the precipice of a dangerous job that was taking her away from Hiamovi for a long time, she couldn’t help feeling quite distracted.
“Wait,” she whispered. She turned Hiamovi around towards her, pulled him close, and then kissed him, pressing her lips against his for several seconds. “One for the road,” she said with a wink, and Hiamovi grinned in return.
The pair made their way downstairs to fi
nd Hector already waiting for them, sitting on a brown leather couch in the lobby and reading a large, hardcover biography of Ulysses S. Grant. His eyes flitted up from the pages for a moment as he heard Hiamovi and Abby approach, but he finished the last few sentences on that page before closing the book with care and setting it on the couch.
“They’ll be here any minute now,” he said in a hushed voice as he stood up.
“Well, let’s get the goodbyes over with then,” Abby said curtly. She’d already kissed Hiamovi, getting the sentimental goodbye out of the way, and was trying to get into the proper mindset, like an athlete before the big game or a warrior before a battle.
“Remember, Abby,” Hector said, “that you are not honor-bound to this mission. I would not dream of asking that much of you on such a dangerous undertaking. If at any time you feel that your life is in imminent danger, run. Hide. We will find you again and bring you back.”
Abby nodded her head but said nothing. She wasn’t sure if she’d end up taking Hector’s advice, or try to fight to the death, if such a situation arose. Hopefully she wouldn’t ever have to find out.
“You will report to Hiamovi as needed, in order to exchange information. But these meetings should be both brief and few in number,” Hector continued, giving the two of them a knowing look. Abby and Hiamovi exchanged a glance, wondering just how much Hector knew about their private lives.
“We’ll be careful, Heammawihio,” Abby said, using his Cheyenne name. She preferred using his real name on formal occasions such as this, especially since she had finally mastered its pronunciation.
Hector smiled (he liked hearing his real name) and said, “Of that I have no doubt, Abby. You and Hiamovi are both far stronger than you look, and carry the wisdom of several lifetimes. These things, and the bond you both share, give me confidence in your success.”
At that moment they heard a shuffling coming from the dim hallway behind them. All three conspirators turned and saw Bob. He was wearing only some loose pants and a pair of grey slippers and walking with a small basket of what looked like laundry.
His Name Was Zach (Book 2): Her Name Was Abby Page 26
