by A. G. Khaliq
“Deep breaths, in and out!”
He wrapped his big, strong arms around me, as my ribcage continued to constrict on me. I tried my best to do what he said.
Taking deep breaths in and out.
A deep breath in…
…and a deep breath out.
24
A deep breath in…
…and a deep breath out.
“I'm
here,
baby,”
Donte
murmured. “You're having a panic attack. Forget about Fibonacci. Just think of me. Focus on me.”
So I did what he said. I focused on this wonderful, amazing man.
And as I gazed into his eyes…
The flashbacks of Fibonacci slowly started fading away.
I felt at peace with Donte. He made me forget. He made me forget about every single bad thing that had happened to me in the past.
He made me hopeful for the here and now.
25
The future.
For better and for worse.
“See?” Donte whispered. “That's better, baby. You're doing so well.”
Within a split-second, Donte brought his mouth crashing down to mine, in an attempt to keep me distracted from the horrors that were flooding through my brain. His kiss was soft and tender. He started off slowly, and I allowed my hands to feel his defined abs.
I traced every muscle with my finger and purred against his mouth.
This man was irresistibly sexy. He always knew how to do and say the right things. He always knew how to make me feel better… And I didn't want him to hold back.
26
I wanted all of him.
He continued kissing me softly. I could tell that he was trying his best to restrain himself, trying to reel in his self-control, before it went out of the window.
But I allowed myself to lift my legs and wrap them around his torso. I fumbled with his belt buckle and guided his hand to my thigh. He started running his hands down my bare legs, and I swear it was the sexiest thing I'd ever fucking felt in my life.
I was tired of me denying myself what I wanted. I wanted to be with this man forever. I didn't want to play games anymore.
I just wanted him.
27
All of him, for the rest of my life.
28
3
donte
It wasn't long before our clothes were on the floor. I was tearing at them, desperate to feel her soft skin. She flipped me around so that she was on top of me, straddling my hips.
She was so fucking beautiful. She looked like a goddess, with her lacy 29
underwear, her thick thighs, and her tiny waist. I swear that the little self-control I had left fell out of the motherfucking window.
She didn't realize how sexy she was.
Bruise or no bruise… In my eyes, she was the most beautiful girl in the fucking world.
And that was all that fucking mattered.
I saw a new side to Sapphire tonight.
No games…
Just pure, raw emotion.
I was glad that she was honest with me.
I was fucking furious at everything 30
that she went through. I could feel tears fall out of my own eyes as she told me her story.
I
wanted
to
torch
that
motherfucker, Fibonacci. Burn him down to the fucking ground for what he put her through. Everything that he made her endure. The stupid bastard…
A man who laid hands on a woman wasn’t a real man.
But I needed her to know that I was here. That I was willing to offer all of myself to her. That I'd always be here for her.
And she'd finally stopped denying herself of what she wanted. We were finally going to be together. After so much time of being miserable without each other, trying to move on with other people, and failing…
We were finally here, in each 31
other's arms. And there was no place that I would rather fucking be. She was my home. She was my safe haven…
And I knew that after this night, I wouldn’t be able to live without her.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
I groaned against her mouth, my eyes smouldering with lust as I continued to drink her in. All of her beautiful curves, as her tongue continued to play with mine in a fury.
“I've never been so sure of anything in my life,” Sapphire replied, letting out a low moan that drove me to the brink of insanity. “I've been a fool, Donte…
“I've wanted you for so long. I don't want to know a life without you in it. I want you, all of you. Forever.”
That was the only confirmation I 32
needed. I grabbed her full ass with both of my hands, and she threw her head back in pleasure, begging me to kiss her neck. My hands rubbed up and down the arch of her back, causing her to moan and quiver against me. She had such fucking soft, sensitive skin. It felt like silk, and it was a huge turn-on. I let out a growl as she whimpered in my ear, flipping her around so that her tits were in my face, and I could take her nipples into my mouth. Her breasts were so fucking beautiful. She was a fucking work of art.
I allowed my tongue to swirl around her nipple as I continued to trail my fingers up and down her back. Just hearing her get breathless over my touch was enough to cloud my fucking vision. I grew harder and harder against her. No matter how much I touched her, it wasn’t fucking enough. I needed more. More and more, I could never tire of this 33
woman.
I needed to taste her. I allowed myself to massage her breasts as they continued to bounce freely in my face, before I allowed my tongue to roll down her stomach towards her panties. I slowly moved her panties to the side, allowing my fingers to rub her against her clit. She was already fucking soaking wet. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I rolled my tongue deep into her clit, licking and sucking on her pussy relentlessly. She screamed against me, tangling her fingers in my hair. I was starving for her.
It didn’t matter how much she cried out and moaned. I wouldn’t fucking stop until she creamed all over my face.
There was no coming back from this. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. She woke up a wild side in me. An animal. I'd never loved a woman before…
34
I'd never been in love…
But with Sapphire…
The only thing that I could feel was love.
All I could do was pray that she wouldn't change her mind about me again…
35
4
maya
ONE WEEK LATER
time for Maya’s mother’s funeral
“Are you sure you're ready for this?”
Donte asked, taking my hands into his reassuringly.
36
“Yes,” I admitted exhaustedly, with a timid expression on my face. “I need closure.”
“I'll be there for you every step of the way,” Donte comforted me.
“Thank you,” I replied gratefully.
I stood on my tip-toes and gave him a passionate kiss. I'd stayed with Donte the whole week since that night we slept together. I couldn't get enough of him...
He helped me to feel better. He loved me and cared for me. Loved me for who I was.
Not to mention that his sex game was something else...
It was different with Donte. He always made me feel like I was on cloud 37
nine.
I was high on him.
Addicted to him.
With Brett, it wasn't like this. Brett was nothing like Fibonacci either. Brett wasn't abusive. He was sweet and caring.
But there was just no attraction…
No chemistry. It was a relationship of convenience because we were both lonely, and worked the same job, so we saw each other every day. That was probably why we ended up together…
When in reality, we were probably better off as just being friends. I couldn't even bring mysel
f to sleep with Brett when I had been in a relationship with him.
Although, I wasn’t going to lie to 38
myself, and tell myself that I didn’t care about him… Because I did still care about him. I wondered how he was doing without me.
I allowed my mind to wander, as I thought about my mother’s funeral.
Maybe Brett would be at the funeral today? I might get the chance to catch up with him then.
I knew that I shouldn't bring Donte to the funeral, but at this point, I couldn't give two flying fuck's about who saw him.
I was proud of him, even if he had some rumours going round about him. I’d seen the real Donte. The others had just seen him behind a newspaper cover.
“Let's go,” said Donte, taking my hand into his. He guided me towards the door, and we made our way to the car, ready to go to my mother’s funeral.
39
I stood over my Mama’s grave, shivering as I said prayers for her. Tears fell down my cheeks as I thought about her. Every memory that I had with her came flooding back to me. From the ones where I was just a child, and me and my mother would play in the garden. When I came back from a long day at school, and she took me for ice-cream, or took me to the park. The joy on her face whenever I got good grades. How proud she was of me when I got into university, and told her that I was going to be a lawyer in the future. And it was crazy, because I didn’t realize how much I needed her until she was gone and no longer with me. Nothing compares to a mother’s love…
I should have made the most of her.
Spent more time with her. Because now, it was too fucking late. She was resting.
There were so many things left unsaid. So 40
much left for us both, but now, she was gone…
She was never going to see me walk down the aisle. She was never going to see me get married, or have children. She would be missing out on the rest of my life…
And it was all my fault. I put her in this position. If it wasn’t for me, she would still be alive. If it wasn’t for my career and my own demons, my mother wouldn’t be fucking dead…
I couldn’t help but to blame myself for this. Feeling responsible for this whole situation. I guessed that was why it was killing me so much. I felt so fucking terrible.
“Rest
in
peace,
Mama,”
I
whispered. “You were gone too soon. I hope you're in a better place now. I hope 41
you didn't suffer when you died…
“I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry I didn't keep an eye on you. I'm sorry I didn't send you enough money on time.”
I'm sorry my boss murdered you in your sleep, I whimpered to myself internally, feeling my heart shatter into millions of pieces. By an injection…
But made it look like you passed away.
And I swear, I'm going to bring you to justice.
Vengeance is mine.
“You're so strong, baby,” Donte whispered. “Your mother would be so proud of you.”
42
“Thank you, baby,” I breathed appreciatively. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Never, baby.”
I continued to stare at my mother’s grave, feeling my eyes swell up from how much I’d been crying. I couldn’t bear this pain.
I couldn’t fucking bear it.
“Take as long as you need.”
I nodded back at him feverishly, before I found my eyes wandering, scanning the graveyard.
“I'm going to look around and see if anybody else attended.” I bit my lip anxiously. “Wait here.”
“Okay,” Donte shrugged.
43
I searched around the graveyard to see if anybody else attended. I looked through every corner and nook, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. I rolled my eyes angrily.
Of course nobody did. It was just me and Donte, and I didn't know why I was expecting anybody else to be here.
Me and my mother lived such a lowkey life,
with
no
friends,
and
no
acquaintances. A life in the shadows. We just had each other... Because I was so invested in my job. She’d raised me as a single mother. I’d never had a father figure in my life, because she’d taken the job of being both parents. And I would forever be in her debt because of that.
But then I saw Brett walking towards me.
Wow. He actually came.
44
It had been months since I'd seen him, now...
He looked a little different from how I remembered him. He used to be so happy, and so full of joy. But now he just looked exhausted and tired. Like he’d had enough, and had a hell of a time of it himself. My mouth suddenly felt so fucking dry. I was at loss for words. I didn’t know what I could possibly say to him now that I was seeing him. I couldn’t help but to feel like I was the reason for his sadness. I’d torn him apart when I’d left him. I couldn’t forget how heartbroken he looked when I’d gone to his apartment to end things that day.
“Hey
Maya,”
Brett
greeted
sheepishly, looking anxious at the sight of me. I folded my arms uneasily as I stared back at him. He looked like he was about to cry.
45
“It's been a while,” Brett went on timidly. He let out a heavy sigh. “I'm so sorry for your loss.”
Brett gave me a comforting hug. It was good to see that he'd moved past me breaking up with him. I was expecting him to be salty and bitter, but he was far from that. He was willing to be mature about the whole situation, and be friends.
I could see that he still cared about me.
And I was glad. He reacted badly when it first happened, but now it had been months since we saw each other, I could see the sweet, sympathetic Brett on the surface again. I hoped that he was okay, and his mental health wasn’t suffering.
“Hello, Maya,” came a voice, snapping me out of my thoughts.
46
I blinked, to see that Boss was making his way towards me. I balled my hands into fists, seething, unable to disguise my anger. I was so angry.
So fucking angry.
The sheer sight of this man made me sick to the core.
“I see you brought your boyfriend with you,” Boss added, smirking. He folded his arms condescendingly. “Donte Abruzzi. The CEO of Indigo Limited.”
Brett narrowed his eyes, looking just as angry as I was.
“How dare you!” I shot at Boss, my blood boiling to the point it almost dried up. “How fucking dare you have the audacity to show up here, especially after what you fucking did?!”
47
“Now, now, Maya, there's no need to take that tone,” Boss smirked. “I've come here to offer my condolences.”
“Brett, you better get him the fuck outta here, before I kill him my fucking self!” I screamed angrily, tears streaming down my cheeks. My heart felt like it was about to explode and rip right out of my chest.
“I don't take kindly to petty threats,” Boss retorted, rolling his eyes sarcastically. “You should you know that by now.” His fingers brushed against my face, and I could feel the bile rise to my throat. This man was a stone-cold fucking bastard. “Maya.” He coughed. “I forgot. Sapphire.”
I couldn’t hide my discomfort. My body was quivering, and it felt like I would be better off six feet underneath the ground like my mother was right 48
now. I couldn’t bear this.
I couldn’t fucking bear it.
“Whatever, I'm outta here.” The corners of his mouth formed into a grin.
“Have fun admiring the hunk she left you for, Brett.”
Brett balled his hands into fists, seething. I didn’t know what had happened between him and Boss while I’d not been working, but it sure as hell looked like something big. The two of them looked like they couldn’t bear to look at each other. There was so much tension i
n the air, you could cut it with a knife.
“That son-of-a-bitch!” I roared.
“I'll kill him! I’ll fucking kill him!”
I was in a state of rage. Right now, nothing could stop me. Not even my 49
fucking conscience. Whenever I had my eyes and mind set to something, I stopped at nothing to do it.
And right now, I wanted to put a bullet through that bastard’s brain, and watch him bleed out in front of me to his death.
That fucking monster.
I’d ended a man’s life for the sake of money before, when I had been fighting illegally. My boss Philip had killed my mother… I wouldn’t just end his life. I’d put him through repeated torture for months before I finally buried him. He deserved everything that was fucking coming to him.
“Calm down, babe.” Brett pulled me into his arms, hugging me close to him. “It's alright.”
50
I hugged him back nervously, sobbing into his chest. I was tired of acting strong, when I wasn’t. I was tired of putting up a front and pretending that I was okay. I’d reached breaking point so many times, and now, I just didn’t know how much more pain and heart-ache I could bear before I ended myself.
“I just can't believe he had the audacity to come here…” I sobbed.
“After what he did…” I trailed off my sentence, feeling my insides twist into knots. “After what he fucking took from me!”
“I know baby,” Brett whispered against my hair. “I know.”
I’d missed Brett. Not as a lover, but as a friend. I didn’t want to be on bad terms with him, especially after everything we’d been through together.
51
So I allowed myself to enjoy his embrace, his warmth, his comfort…
As I continued to feel my world tear apart around me.
52
5
brett
I continued to hug Maya. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed her embrace. How much I’d fucking missed her touch, and her comfort. I really, really wished that things didn’t have to be this way. I still beat myself up over and over, wondering where it all went wrong.
