He shrugs a heavy shoulder and then looks me in the eyes, gauging my reaction as he lowers the wrapped picture into the box. “He doesn’t have a reason to say anything. He wanted Samantha to go down, and we made that happen.” His lips are pressed into a thin line as he makes his way around the table to pull out the chair next to mine.
“You really want to talk about this?” he asks me.
I glance at the article and him, swallowing my words and not knowing how to feel. The entire situation makes me uncomfortable. Worse than that … dreadful. “I want to know it’s going to be okay.” I offer him the truth. “I want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”
Evan smirks at me then leans forward, kissing the tip of my nose, which makes me close my eyes. “You’re cute, you know that?”
I love how at ease he is. It feels like I have my husband back. Truly. Yet I’m still waiting for the other foot to drop.
Reaching up, I quickly grab his hand and keep him close to me. “I’m serious,” I say as I look him in the eyes. “I want to know you’re okay.”
“Baby, I told you there’s nothing to worry about.” He brushes his hand against my cheek, forcing me to let go. Evan pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, and stares into my eyes. There’s a look there that makes me all warm and fuzzy. He’s always been able to do that, and I love him for it.
“You promise?” I ask him softly and he pecks my lips once, then goes in for a deeper one before answering me.
“Well, we do have a baby coming,” he says, still staring at my lips. “So, I’m sure we’ve got some things to be worried about, but that mess is over.”
The stir of desire drifts away, dissolving instantly when I peek back down at the article. The picture they chose is one of Samantha giving James a death stare as she was arrested. The papers paint her as the villain she is.
“And you got that package too,” Evan comments, bringing my attention back to him. My heart flickers once, then twice as I bite my lip and shrug.
“It was really nice of him,” Evan says, and I feel the need to smack his arm playfully as he stands up to keep packing.
I place a hand on my belly and tell him, “It was a goodbye and good luck gift from a friend.”
“A friend you kissed,” Evan reminds me.
“A friend who was there for me when you weren’t,” I point out.
His shoulders stiffen a little as he stops midway from taking another photo off the wall. “I know,” he says beneath his breath.
“It was a nice gift, though, wasn’t it?” I ask him. Evan looks at me with an eyebrow raised and I have to laugh. “He doesn’t have our new address anyway and he didn’t put his on the package either.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Evan says.
“I really like it.” I shrug my shoulders and remember the gift box Jake sent. Inside was a baby book called I’ll Love You Forever. I can’t read it without crying. All the note said was that he gave a copy to all his friends who were expecting and he didn’t feel right not giving me one. One last kindness.
“It was nice of him, but it better be the last of him,” Evan warns me jokingly. I love the trace of a smile on his lips. He knows I’m all his.
I lean back in the chair, and a yawn escapes before I can stop it. I’m halfway to telling him off in some way or another, but the words are stopped.
“You ready to go home?” he asks me and I nod my head, but add, “Only if you’re all done.”
He takes a look around the half-packed house and shakes his head. I have to admit watching him cleaning up his father’s place makes my heart ache for him. I know I can’t take the pain away. It’ll always be there.
“You know our baby is going to be tough, right?” he comments just as the emotions start to get the best of me.
I rub my swollen bump in smooth circles as I pray our baby is okay in there and doesn’t know how sad I am in this moment. I only want love for him or her.
“I hope so,” I whisper as Evan comes back over to me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest. I’m more than grateful as I wrap my arms around him and my cheek presses against his shirt.
“It’s true. When a mom goes through hell during pregnancy and handles it as well as you have, the baby can handle anything, you know?”
I let out a sad but genuine laugh into his shirt and try to calm myself down as he rubs my back.
I peek up at him and smile as his lips touch mine.
“Everything’s behind us,” he adds.
I feel the need to remind him, “There’s good behind us too, isn’t there?”
“So much good,” he says and then kisses me again before splaying his hand on my belly. “And so much more to come.”
Epilogue
Kat
Little blips, they come and go,
In rhythm and in time.
Black lines that paint a picture,
And soft lullabies in rhyme.
You’re everything, and the reason I need,
To love and to forgive.
My only wish is to keep you safe,
For as long as I shall live.
Seeing that little blip makes it real. “I can see his heartbeat.”
“You’re still convinced it’s a boy?” Evan says although he doesn’t take his eyes off the monitor. A trace of a smile is on his lips and it only grows when the little one moves.
“We’ll find out soon,” I tell him with a little more glee in my voice.
“Soon as in right now,” the doctor comments, breaking up our little moment. With Evan to my right, I hold his hand as I lie back on the white paper, hearing it rustle under me. Dr. Harmony holds the wand right above my belly button. My belly is covered in clear gel and there’s more than a little bump now that I’m twenty weeks along.
I’m quiet as the sound of a steady heartbeat comes through the speaker. Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub. The only thing that distracts me for a moment is Evan placing his second hand over our joined one.
“Our little baby,” he whispers in awe.
“Your little boy,” the doctor corrects him, pointing to the screen. She keeps the wand there for a moment, tapping on the keyboard to take photos before removing the wand and the soft, rhythmic heartbeats are gone. But I heard them, I heard that steady heartbeat and that sound will stay with me forever.
“He’s healthy?” Evan questions and my heart swells.
“Perfectly healthy,” Dr. Harmony says as she wipes down the equipment and tosses the paper towels into the trash.
“I’ll be back in just a bit with some pictures for you two.” The young blond doctor has a pretty smile; it’s one that reaches her eyes.
“Thank you,” Evan and I say in unison.
“A boy,” I murmur to him before he cuts me off with a kiss.
“We’re going to have a son,” Evan says, running a hand down his face. “It’s real.”
“Does it feel real to you now?”
Evan takes my hand again and kisses my knuckles before nodding his head.
My gaze moves from Evan to the screen. The little heart is beating in a perfect rhythm.
“I have a feeling it’s going to be really, really good,” I tell him and get a little choked up.
“It is,” Evan says and kisses my hand once more. “I know it is.”
Evan
The morning brings a bright light,
Hope and laughter too.
And with time comes a new love,
Faded dreams become anew.
Just remember to hold tight,
And fight for what you love.
For our lost ones will watch over,
And keep us safe from up above.
“We should name him Henry,” Kat suggests as we walk into the house. The homes near the Manhattan Bridge are an expensive area to live, but the park is close, and this school district is where Kat wants to live for our little one, so how could I say no?
She tosses the keys onto the side table,
walking past a row of cardboard boxes and a stack of dishes I brought back from the old place last night. “I’ve thought a lot about it. And I think we should.”
“Henry.” I say my father’s name and a swell of unexpected emotion catches me off guard. I slip the jacket off my shoulders and move to busy myself, opening the window in the dining room and ignoring the look Kat gives me.
“I know it hasn’t been a long time since he passed,” Kat says. “It feels like it was yesterday.”
She holds her swollen abdomen and drags out the head chair in the dining room. At least this room is mostly put together. Kat’s nesting has her up all hours and doing shit she shouldn’t do. Like carrying heavy boxes and climbing on the furniture to hang curtains. She’s ever the stubborn one.
“I wish he were here with us,” she murmurs and gets teary eyed; she’s been crying a lot more recently, probably due to the third trimester pregnancy hormones. “But we can give him this, you know?”
Her voice is tight with emotion and I nod my head, understanding what she’s saying but not wanting to voice it.
The wind blows through the house. It’s warm for late March. The breeze gently moves the napkins on the table so I’m quick to tuck them into the holder and attempt to form a response. I miss my father. More than I ever could have imagined.
“He’d have loved to help us move down here.” I say the thought out loud to offer her something.
“At least this time you hired movers,” Kat says with a bit of humor, but her voice is solemn.
She winces with pain and grabs ahold of her belly, her eyes closed tight and my heart races.
“Babe?” She ignores me, just like she’s been doing. For some unknown reason, I continue to think she’ll respond during these Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Hovering over her, I eye her carefully then walk slowly to her and wait, afraid to do anything wrong.
I may have made mistakes while learning to be a good husband, but Pops showed me how to be a good father and I won’t let him down.
“Oh my gosh, that was a long one.” Kat finally breathes out as her body visibly relaxes.
“Do you want to go in?” My nerves are all on edge. I’m terrified, but I won’t tell Kat. I’ve never even held a child, let alone having one depend on me to live.
Kat rolls her eyes at me. “For one contraction? I think not.”
She reaches into the bag at her feet and pulls out a water bottle. “Besides, I read a baby comes when you’re ready and relaxed, and we have four more rooms to set up and get settled in before I’ll be anywhere near relaxed. And another two weeks until our due date.”
A huff of humor leaves me and I move the top box off the nearest stack, ripping the tape back to expose what’s inside.
“So, what do you think?” she asks me.
“About what?”
“About naming him Henry?” She tilts her head to the side and her long hair falls over her shoulder.
“I think Pops would have loved that,” I say, getting out the answer before my throat goes tight and take in a deep breath. “I think he’d be proud.”
Lowering myself to the floor in front of her, I let my hands rest on her thighs and bring my forehead down to rest on her belly. “What do you think?” I ask our son and Kat’s belly shakes as she laughs.
“You think it’s funny, but he’s going to know my voice.” Kat doesn’t hesitate to lean down and kiss me. The first one is a peck on my cheek, but then she moves her hand to my jaw and keeps me still for a longer one, a deeper one.
It’s slow and sensual and makes my blood heat.
“I know he will, and I love you for it.”
I take her small hand in mine and look deep into her eyes. She’s seen so much of me. All of my bad along with the little bit of good I have in me, and she still loves me. There’s no way I could doubt that. “I know this past year has been rough, but I’m going to do everything I can to make our lives easy for … forever.”
A small smile seems to tickle Kat’s lips, still a darker hue from our kiss, and she moves her fingers to them.
“I mean it, Kat. I love you and this baby more than anything.” Tears come to my eyes and I only pray she knows that I love her just as much as she loves me.
After a moment, she nods. “I know you do, and I know you will.”
Moving my hand to her belly, I feel our little one kick just beneath the small bit of pressure. It still gets me every time.
“He knows too,” Kat says with a smile that lights her eyes.
“So, Henry?” I question, feeling a swell of pride in my chest.
She nods her head, her eyes getting glossy as she puts a hand on her belly.
“Henry.”
Diary Entry Three
Hey Pops,
I wanted you to know, every day I think about what I should do to make you proud. Even the days I mess up. I guess those days especially. Your voice is always there, telling me to make it right.
Lately, I’ve been doing good. I think you’d agree. Sometimes I make mistakes. Like when little Henry peed through his diaper last week at four in the morning. I changed his diaper but didn’t change the onesie. Kat let me have it for that one.
Common sense and all that goes out the window when it comes to him. She didn’t tell me to change the onesie too. I should have known, but I’m just so careful around him. She’s teaching me, though, and we’re learning together. You’d love it. We miss you so much.
He’s so small, Pops, I can hold him in one hand. I’m scared I’m gonna break him some days. Kat tells me I’m fine, and that I look good holding him. But I’m terrified I’m going to mess up.
I guess I’m just nervous to ruin it, so I keep waiting for her to tell me what to do.
She’s taking good care of me. Especially in that department.
She’s not going to mess up and that’s the only thing that makes me think it’s all going to be all right.
Kat’s not gonna let me get away with anything anymore.
The best part about that is that I love it.
I wish I’d listened to you sooner, Pops. I want you to know, I’m trying to make sure my marriage is like yours and Ma’s.
I’ve got to go. I just really wanted to talk to you tonight. Some nights are harder than others and I’m not sure it’ll ever get too easy. Even if it does, I’ll be thinking of you and wanting your advice.
I love you. We all do.
Sue’s story is up next! You don’t want to miss Tell Me You Want Me. Pre Order today!
If you haven’t read Mason and Jule’s story. You can start reading today in You Are My Reason.
Loved Kat and Evan’s story? Then you’ll love Knocking Boots. Start reading today or keep reading for a sneak peek!
Click here to sign up to my mailing list, where you’ll get exclusive giveaways, free books and new release alerts!
Follow me on BookBub to be the first to know about my sales!
Text Alerts:
US residents: Text WILLOW to 797979
UK residents: Text WWINTERS to 82228
And if you’re on Facebook, join my reader group, Willow Winters’ Wildflowers for special updates and lots of fun!
Sneak Peek at Knocking Boots
Prologue
Charlie
“Charlie...”
Grace’s soft voice beckons me from across the hotel room as I shut the door. I pull at the knot in my necktie, loosening it before tossing it on the floor. Through the dim light the night provides I can barely see as she scissors her legs under the stark white hotel comforter.
It’s unreal to me still that she wants me so much and what’s more, they all think she’s mine. Every one of those guests at my sister’s wedding thinks Grace belongs to me. Then again, the whole damn town is convinced she’s the next one to get hitched.
They’re right about one thing. She’ll be screaming my name tonight. But the rest is all a lie.
“Don’t make me wait anymore...” she
pleads.
Grace’s slender neck arches as she grips the comforter in her hands and groans out her words with a little pout on her lush lips.
I’ve got her so worked up, my little sweetheart, but that wasn’t hard to do. I knew she wanted me. She doesn’t want to keep me though; she just wants me for the night. Tonight, she’s all mine. I’m not the kind of guy who’s good enough for her. Even though my throat gets tight at the thought, and my steps pause on the way to her, I blame myself. She was too tempting to resist and all of this is my fault.
Grace isn’t the kind of girl who winds up with a man like me. She’s got her life planned out. She wants the whole nine yards, and in less than a year.
She wants a picture-perfect family and a white picket fence, but that’s not a life I’m ready for nor one I can provide. Not right now. Maybe not ever.
I can see Grace wearing a white dress. A wedding dress. I bet she’d wear one of those big ass gowns with a train that fills the aisle. It’s not hard to imagine how the dress would move around her long, shapely legs.
The thought of her walking down the aisle to someone else, a man other than myself, pisses me off. The anger rises, heating my blood just thinking about it and that tightness in my throat comes back with a vengeance. But there’s no way in hell I’ll be the man she’s walking toward. We both know that. I have Grace for tonight, and that’s all that matters. It’s what I wanted in our deal.
It was a drunken deal we made when our flirtatious natures got out of hand. She promised to come to the wedding and pretend to be my girlfriend, to keep my family off my back.
You Know I Need You: Book 2, You Know Me duet (You Are Mine Duets 4) Page 18
