“A year’s a long time. Anything could happen.”
Tagg didn’t seem to hear. “The one good thing that came of this was that I finally cut myself free and got to explore who I really was. After ten years of dating one woman I felt entitled to that.”
Yes, entitled. Something Colton had come to realize was part of Tagg’s character. He’d never really noticed it before. Or he’d ignored it. Now Colton felt entitled to pick him up by his skinny neck and shake him, but somehow refrained.
“I screwed up, Colton. I’ll do anything to get Sara back. I heard you two are on good terms now. I may need you to go to bat for me, to tell her this was just a crazy phase.”
A crazy phase, canceling your wedding to the woman you were supposed to love on a whim and moving in with someone you barely knew?
Colton was reminded of the times he’d deferred to Tagg, because Tagg and his family had done so much for him. They’d given him a real family as an example, and Tagg’s dad had helped Colton stay on the straight and narrow, and for that he’d always be grateful. For years he’d had Tagg’s enduring loyalty—Tagg had always thought Colton was cool, and Colton had liked that. It had made him feel important.
He didn’t need to feel important anymore. Tagg had lied and had potentially cost Colton years with Sara. Water under the bridge, but still. Once upon a time, his dedication to Tagg had known no bounds, but maybe it was time to consider that debt repaid in full.
More important, he wanted to tell Tagg to stay the hell away from Sara. Mine was the word that kept drumming through his head. But something stopped him. His own fear, maybe, that Sara might possibly want Tagg back? She’d certainly tolerated that kiss on the cheek. And the fact that she was going to talk to him later? He didn’t know. She’d looked a little shocked, a little confused. All he knew was he needed to talk to her.
“I want to ask Dr. Langdon to set up a meeting for me with the new neurology group in town. And hopefully he’ll drop a bug in their ear that I’m a hometown son and a perfect future candidate for their practice. Dr. Langdon golfs with them, and I’m pretty sure he’ll put in a good word for me.”
Colton wasn’t so sure that Sara’s father would put in a good word for the guy who’d broken his daughter’s heart. “So you’re planning on moving back to town?” Colton asked. Tagg lived about an hour away, nearer to his job.
“I want to be closer to Sara. She forgave me, even though I can tell she’s still angry. I know I hurt her. Part of me was rebelling against my parents pushing so hard for our marriage, but now I understand why they love Sara so much. She’s the best. I’ll never find anyone better. I don’t know how you’ve done it, going from woman to woman all these years. It’s exhausting. All I want is my old life back.”
Save it for your shrink, buddy, a voice in Colton’s head said.
Colton wanted to hit something. A punching bag, Tagg’s pristine face. Both decent-size targets. He clenched his fists repeatedly to try to knead out some of the tension. Wasn’t working.
He’d heard this same speech from Tagg in one form or another for years, the gist being that he’d always wondered what else was out there. He’d always defaulted to Sara, though, until the bachelor party. As far as Colt knew, Tagg had never cheated on Sara before then. Colton had never said anything to Sara—hadn’t felt it was his place—but maybe he should have.
The difference this time, despite the subtle dig about Colton’s love life, was that maybe Tagg really had learned his lesson. This time he seemed dead serious, and when Tagg set his mind to something, he usually got it. What if Sara wanted him back too?
As Colton’s mind wandered, he noticed a white blur moving in the shrubbery next to the office. Sure enough, there was a little white dog peeing in the boxwood. On closer inspection he saw it wasn’t just any dog, but a poodle, a super-groomed one, with painted toenails and bright pink bows in its hair.
“Dolly?” he called. The dog stopped peeing and froze.
Tagg’s beeper went off. “I’ve got to get this. I’ve got a head trauma patient in the unit who’s really sick. Hello,” he said into his phone while Colton walked toward the dog. “His intracranial pressure’s increasing? Let’s give him more Solu-Medrol and call neurosurgery to schedule him for craniotomy, OK? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Colton bent down and pulled out the emergency dog biscuit he always kept in his shirt pocket. “Come here, Dolly. We’ll find your mama, OK? Come get a cookie.” He looked up and down the street. No one running down the street frantically panicking…yet.
At the sound of cookie, the dog practically leaped onto the biscuit, making it easy for Colton to scoop her right into his arms.
“What the hell?” Tagg said, laughing, as he looked at the dog, who was now sniffing Colton’s pocket for another biscuit.
“Mrs. Nelson’s dog,” Colton said.
Just then Maggie Nelson, who ran Angelfood, the gourmet chocolate place, and Cindy Madison, the dog groomer, came running down the street, exclaiming over Dolly’s misbehavior.
“Gotta go, buddy,” Tagg said, climbing behind the wheel of his car. “Let’s have dinner one night soon.”
Colton stood there holding the poodle, who was now licking his face. Tagg was off saving critically ill people while he was here nipping an overgroomed poodle’s dream of freedom in the bud. The question was, which guy would Sara prefer?
Chapter 20
Later that afternoon, Colton was standing on a stepladder working on his grandmother’s porch roof trying not to think about upsetting things, like Tagg wanting Sara back. Aiden had told him he’d seen a loose downspout, and Colton thought he’d give it a quick fix before he met Sara for dinner at Fallside, the popular multideck restaurant downtown that sat practically on top of the falls.
Logic told him Sara cared for him, a lot. But Tagg could be persuasive and charming, and he and Sara had a long history together. Plus they had similar backgrounds and their parents belonged to the same social circles. The list of how they were alike and he and Sara were different seemed a mile long.
Tonight was his first real date with Sara. But he wasn’t really in the mood for it. He’d kept thinking of Tagg all day, wondering about Sara’s reaction. There’d been no time to talk with her this afternoon, and it was eating him alive.
That was probably why he cut himself on the jagged rim of the disconnected spout. Nothing serious, but his thumb started bleeding.
He stopped in the kitchen to run water over his cut and wrapped it in a paper towel while he hunted for a Band-Aid. No luck in the kitchen or the downstairs bathroom, so he ran up to the bathroom at the top of the stairs, the one Hannah had appropriated. The narrow sink was lined with bottles of stuff he didn’t recognize and a curling iron that looked ready to fall into the sink. He’d have to warn her about that hazard. He opened the medicine cabinet above the sink.
He found the Band-Aids, all right. Right behind a little pink wheel of birth control pills.
He forgot all about his bleeding finger and stared at the thing. Picked it up, even though he knew it wasn’t his business. Some of the pills were popped out of the foil backing. He flipped it over. There was a pharmacy label. “Sara Langdon, MD, Langdon Family Practice.”
With fumbling fingers, he replaced the wheel and shut the cabinet. Leaned over the sink. He felt a little sick. One, because his sister was taking the pill. Having sex. With the guy he’d brought to the house, a kid he’d tried to help get into electrician school. Two, and worse, because Sara had prescribed them.
He forced himself to calm down enough to wrap a damn Band-Aid around his finger, but it took him two tries.
Colton leaned over the sink and heaved a big sigh, avoiding his reflection, which looked panicky. He was the father figure in Hannah’s life, and sometimes the boundary between that and being her big brother got blurred. But he was responsible for her. It was his job to protect her future, to make sure she had a great life. That meant sending her to college and making s
ure she was free to make choices he’d never been free to make. That didn’t include something like this. A guy who was wrong for her, who could alter her future plans. A guy she was having sex with at eighteen!
Dammit, why hadn’t he talked to her himself? He’d trusted Sara to do the right thing.
This was not the right thing. This was disaster.
* * *
Sara hadn’t minded at all when Colton suggested they cancel their dinner reservations and pick up Chinese instead. In fact, she told him he was welcome to bring the food to Nonna’s, since Nonna was with Rachel at the big senior center Italian meatball cook-off.
She couldn’t wait to see him. Tell him all about the stupid things Tagg had done in the office. Mostly she just wanted to feel his arms around her. Be reassured that what they had was real and good and so different from what she’d had with Tagg.
As soon as Colton’s cruiser pulled into Nonna’s driveway, Sara ran to the driver’s side and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. “Hi!” she said. An enthusiastic greeting, because she was starving—for food and for him. A couple of brown bags of takeout sat on the passenger side. The smell of ginger, sesame oil, and soy sauce wafted up, and her stomach grumbled.
As soon as Colton looked up, Sara sensed something was off. He was too quiet. Not smiling, his mouth drawn in a tight line. His brow was furrowed, and a muscle twitched in his jaw. Plus he had a white-knuckle grip on the wheel.
“What’s wrong?” She was learning that cops often kept a lot of things to themselves, things that would be upsetting to those that they loved. Maybe he’d had a terrible day at work.
He met her gaze briefly but didn’t smile like he usually did, or try to kiss her back. “I thought we might eat first, but I’m a little too upset.” He was staring straight ahead out the car window, and that unnerved her. It wasn’t like him not to look at her. My God, what was wrong?
“Do you want to come sit on the porch?”
“OK.” He walked up the porch steps and set the takeout bags on the table.
She took a seat on the edge of the swing while he stood against the porch railing, glancing out over the backyard.
He sighed heavily. Turned to face her. “I found Hannah’s birth control pills. The ones you prescribed for her.”
“You’re angry?” she asked.
He snorted. Well, that answered that.
“I sent her to you for information and you gave her license to fool around.” The anger in his eyes wasn’t what slayed her, but rather the hurt. He felt betrayed. By her. She could see it, all over his handsome face, and it devastated her.
She chose her words carefully. “Regardless of how I counseled her, she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”
“Why couldn’t you have told me?”
“She’s my patient. I couldn’t discuss what she told me in private.”
“Did you not think I had a right to know?”
“God, Colton, it has nothing to do with that. Look, I gave her all the facts, including my opinion on waiting. It was never my intention to encourage her to run off and have sex—just to protect her.”
Another heavy sigh.
He didn’t believe her, and that broke her heart.
The sound of a car idling down the road made her turn. A red Porsche was pulling up in front of the house. She saw that idiotic license plate, TAGG IM IT.
“Looks like your fiancé couldn’t stay away.”
“Ex-fiancé,” she said. This was getting worse by the minute. “Oh, come on, Colton.” She folded her arms. He could not be serious.
“You didn’t tell him about us this morning.”
“I was in the middle of my office. He was…emotional.” She paused. “You’re his oldest friend. Did you tell him?”
“Maybe there’s nothing to tell.”
Really? He was actually doing this? “Are you really going there? Before we do, let’s make it clear—is this about Hannah or Tagg?” Tagg got out of his sports car, shut the door, and took off his sunglasses. He was going to be up on the porch in a minute.
“It’s about everything. It’s about us and how different we are. Our families, our education, our backgrounds—different.”
She’d looked on their differences as complementary. Apparently he thought they were insurmountable.
“Colton, I’m sorry you’re angry. If you just talk with your sister—”
“This isn’t working,” Colton said, still staring out over the backyards where next door, a couple of kids chased each other around, laughing and playing.
“What’s not working?” Sara sucked in a breath. He was angry. Furious, even, about her interference with his sister. But was he so angry he wanted to break up?
“We’re not working.”
“We—us? Wait—are you breaking up with me?” Oh God. He couldn’t be serious. This was their first fight about something other than their relationship. How could it be their last?
Her heart was drumming inside her chest as if she were having a heart attack. She felt sick. And angry. He was being obstinate. And she had no defense. She’d done what she felt she’d needed to do for Hannah.
Tagg was striding up the lawn. “Hey, babe,” he said, approaching her and giving her a side hug, which she quickly stepped out of.
She did not need this now, not ever.
“Babe, huh?” Colton said, clearing his throat. He rolled his eyes, his fists balled into a death grip at his sides.
Jealous. Could he be jealous of Tagg? His comment about their differences, about calling Tagg her fiancé…it was all making sense now.
“I stopped by so we could continue that discussion we started in the office,” Tagg said. “Guess what? Turns out my dad’s friends with the head of the neurology department at Falls Hospital and he’s arranged to have lunch with me. I’m really excited.”
Sara glanced at Colton, who seemed…shut down. Distant. She wanted to shake him.
“Tagg, this is a bad time,” Sara said.
“Hey, I’m glad you’re here, Colt,” Tagg said. “Maybe you can tell Sara how much I missed her. How sorry I am. How much I—”
“I meant what I said this morning,” Sara said to Tagg. “I’m not getting back together with you. I—I’m seeing someone else.” She looked pointedly at Colton, who seemed very busy checking his radio.
Tagg stared at her. At least that had temporarily shut him up. Unfortunately Colton didn’t say a thing.
“I love somebody else.” She looked at Colton, but he still wouldn’t make eye contact. God, the man was impossible. She frowned at him, but inside she was starting to panic. “So that’s it?” she finally said. “You’re not going to say anything?”
This time he turned cool blue eyes on her. Emotionless. “I need some time to think.”
“You’re really breaking up with me?” Her voice was shaky now.
Tagg had gone silent but suddenly began to sputter. “Wait a minute…You two…?”
“I love you,” Sara said softly to Colton. Oh God. Look what she’d done. The words had slipped out at the worst time. They came out sounding like a desperate attempt to keep him, a statement of outrage instead of a tender profession. As if she were really saying, I love you, how could you possibly break up with me?
He looked at her then, his gaze detached and level. “I’m not sure that’s enough, Sara.”
“Of course it’s enough,” she said, starting to cry. How could it not be enough?
“I—I’ve got to go.” He barely glanced at her as he walked down the porch stairs and to his car, leaving her standing on the porch with Tagg.
Sara wanted to escape into the house and get away from Tagg, but her muscles were paralyzed. She stood frozen, arms wrapped around herself. She was afraid if she moved she might fall to pieces.
“You’ve been dating Colton while I was gone?” Tagg asked, irritation tingeing his voice.
“Tagg, go home, OK?” Tears rolled uncontrollably down her face. She needed to move. I
f only her legs would obey. She didn’t care about Tagg or his unjustified outrage. She just wanted to get inside before the whole damn neighborhood caught her outside bawling.
“I can’t believe it. I mean, you two hated each other.”
OK, that was it. All the anger she’d kept bottled up inside for the past year finally burst out. “Maybe Colton and I wouldn’t have hated each other if you hadn’t lied.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That time you and I broke up in college, I made a date with him. You made sure it didn’t happen.”
For a second his eyes widened. “Oh, come on, Sara, that was years ago. I’ve always loved you. You can’t blame me for trying to hold on to you.”
“Tagg, you’ve always thought you loved me. What did we know of love? We were kids.”
His voice got quiet. “I know what love is now, Sara. You have to believe me. I’ve learned my lesson.”
Sara frowned. “Does this have something to do with the fact that you and Val broke up?” Of course it did.
His brows knit down. “Of course not.”
“I don’t know, why else are you suddenly here after an entire year?” He looked a little uncomfortable, but what did she know? And you know what, she didn’t really care. Tagg was not her problem anymore. “Maybe you need to stop searching for the right woman and try living with yourself for a while.”
“I’ve found the right woman. And she’s standing right here.”
“It was never right between us, Tagg, but I didn’t see it. Thank God things happened the way they did. Because you’ll always be looking over your shoulder, looking for something—someone—other than me.”
His mouth dropped open. He looked hurt and maybe even a little shocked. The Sara she’d been a year ago would never have made that speech. It was her only consolation now when she was aching, body and soul.
Sara turned and walked into the house. She couldn’t help but be reminded of the day before the wedding last year, when Tagg had shown up at her parents’ and told her he’d slept with Valerie. How devastated she’d been.
Then There Was You Page 24
