“No, I really don't,” she said.
I instantly regretted my choice of words, cringing. No, of course Chelsea had no idea what it was like to shop carelessly. Except for the brief time she was with Rick, she’d always struggled with money.
Oliver was so quiet, I almost forgot he was even there. He stood by his mom’s side, in awe, until Natalie left. As his mom started going through the bags, he asked, “Is it Christmas?”
“No, honey,” Chelsea said. She looked at me, as if she didn’t know what to say.
“They’re just gifts,” I said. “My sister and her friends wanted to help you guys out after the fire. Is that okay with you buddy?”
“I guess so.”
Chelsea seemed to be at a loss for words. I picked up a bag that held a stuffed dinosaur and handed it over to Oliver, thinking he might distract himself with some toys. When he saw the stuffed animal, his eyes were as large as saucers and he ripped it from the bag with a giant smile on his face. Holding it close, he grinned at me.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice soft.
“It didn’t come from me, buddy, but I’ll pass along the message,” I said, ruffling the little guy’s hair.
Chelsea watched her son with the toy and her face softened. I knew accepting any kind of help was hard for her, but she’d do anything for her son. These items weren’t just for her, after all, but for Oliver too. He lost just as much - if not more - than she had. The reality of the situation seemed to set in.
“I can’t thank you guys enough,” Chelsea said. Her eyes were once again filling with tears, and I wasn’t sure if they were happy or sad tears. She wiped at her eyes, and put on a happy face for Oliver, smiling even though the expression didn’t go all the way to her eyes. I knew a real smile from a fake, and she was definitely putting on a show for her son.
“It’s time for bed, Ollie,” Chelsea said, pushing herself up off the floor.
I left the two of them alone, grabbing a beer from the kitchen as she put her son to bed. I stared at the pile of bags in my living room, unsure of where everything would go until Chelsea found somewhere else to stay.
I plopped down in front of the television, moving several bags from my couch. I wasn’t sure if Chelsea would come back out or not. We still hadn’t talked about the night before. Thankfully, I had the night off. Eventually, I’d have to go back to work, but at least my sister was nearby in case they needed anything, though judging by the piles of stuff on my living room floor and my fully-stocked kitchen, I couldn’t see them needing much of anything soon.
I settled in on some Law and Order re-runs and heard the door open and close down the hallway. I turned the tv off before Chelsea even made it into the living room.
“Chels, we need to--” I started to say, but she stopped me.
“I have to work tonight,” she stammered, digging through the bags.
“What?”
“You heard me,” she said. “I texted my boss, hoping I could get the night off, but he just got back to me. If I don’t go in tonight, I won’t have a job.”
“Did you tell him what happened?”
“Yeah, kinda,” she said, biting her lip. She pulled out a pair of jeans, frowned at the tag and shook her head. “These cost more than I make in a week.”
“Wait, so what are you going to do about Ollie?” I asked.
“I was hoping you might watch him? I mean, he’s already asleep, he shouldn’t wake up until I get home.”
“You want me to watch him? Alone?” I asked.
“I was hoping you might Finn,” she said. She pulled out a shirt and added it to the jeans in her arms. “I can’t lose my job.”
“What kind of boss doesn’t let you take time off after your house burns down?” I asked.
“My boss, apparently,” she said. “Not that I can afford to take the night off anyway. I need to get some money together to find somewhere else to go.”
“You know you can stay here as long as you need, Chels,” I said.
“No, I can’t Finn, and you know why,” she said.
She didn’t say another word, just turned around and walked back down the hallway. I heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on. She was leaving her son with me. Thankfully, I had the night off, but what about nights I had to work too? And could I really handle things in case of an emergency? I’d never taken care of a kid as young as Oliver before.
Within a few minutes, Chelsea was out of the bathroom. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. Her eyes were even darker than usual. The clothes, however, looked amazing on her. The jeans fit perfectly - hugging her ass as she rushed around the living room, trying to tidy everything up and talking as fast as possible. Her shirt was a turquoise color and looked to be soft as cashmere. Chelsea hugged her arms close to her as she spoke to me, doling out instructions and details.
“I’ll be home no later than four or five, it all depends on how long Mike keeps me,” she said.
“Chels, wait, I dunno--”
“Finn, please? I can’t lose this job,” she plead. “It’s really easy, he’ll sleep through the night, I swear.”
How could I say no to her? Especially when she stared at me with such sadness in her eyes. She looked so tired, so beat down by life. For me to tell her no, I wouldn’t watch her son even though he’d likely sleep through the night, would have been a terrible thing to do.
“Alright,” I said. “But give me your work number in case of an emergency.”
“Really?” she said, stopping in her tracks. “You’re really going to do this?”
“Yeah. I mean, it doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice,” I said.
Her face lit up, and she smiled at me. “Thank you, Finn. I should have known I could always count on you.”
She rushed over to me, hugging me tightly. Her breasts rubbed against my chest, and with my arms around her, I realized that as the shirt was indeed cashmere. She smelled so good, like vanilla and something lightly floral. I didn’t want to let her go. She pulled away from me, however, and straightened herself up.
“And I know we still need to talk, about last night. And about where I’m going to go,” she said. “I promise, we will. Soon.”
“Chelsea really, there’s no rush for you to leave.”
She gave me a sad smile. “We can’t keep doing this, Finn.”
“Doing what?” I asked.
“You know what,” she said softly. She looked at the time and grabbed her purse. “Listen, I have to go. But I promise to be home as soon as I can. Thank you, for everything.”
I hardly managed to blurt out, “No problem,” before she was out the door.
I hated seeing her so stressed and depressed. If I could make her life easier, I was glad to. Besides, Oliver was asleep, it wasn’t like I had to do anything different than I normally did on a night off.
I turned the tv back on but was soon interrupted by a small voice from the hallway.
“Where’s my mommy?”
So much for him sleeping through the night.
Ooo000ooo
“You like playing Bowser because he’s big, don’t you?” I said, letting Oliver slam my Yoshi character over and over again. I knew you shouldn’t let kid’s win all the time, but it was fun watching him celebrate. He laughed gleefully every time he tossed my character around the screen. The kid had been through a lot, and it was hard to get him to relax around me. But letting him clobber me in Smash Bros seemed to do the trick.
“Yes!” OIiver said, smashing on the buttons of the controller randomly. Bowser picked Yoshi up and tossed him over the side of the wall. I didn’t even try to get back up. “I won again!”
“You did,” I said, glancing at the clock. It was after midnight, and Oliver obviously should be in bed. Getting him back in bed had proven harder than I thought. Chelsea made it look so easy. He always had another question or request for me when I tried. “And I told you, that was the last game for tonight. You need to get back to
bed, little man.”
“No,” he said, pouting. “I’m scared.”
“You’re scared of what, buddy?” I asked.
“Of being alone,” he said.
“Want me to stay in there with you?”
Oliver shrugged, still holding the controller in his tiny little hands. I was amazed at how quickly he’d picked up the game. Though I probably shouldn’t have been. His mother was one of the smartest people I’d ever known.
He eyed the bags I’d shoved in the far corner of the room. He’d been checking them out every chance he could get and asked me a few times if he could look through them. I’d told him to wait until his mom got home, and he didn’t fight it. But I knew he was still curious.
Before he could ask again, I said, “You know, if you go to sleep, morning will come sooner, and your mom will be here before you know it. Then you two can go through the stuff together.”
He looked at me like he wasn’t buying what I was selling.
I yawned into my hand. It was still early for me, but I also got woken up earlier than usual. I tended to keep to a strict schedule - one that meant staying up late most nights and sleeping in during the day. Natalie’s visit threw a wrench into my schedule, and I was feeling the effects of it.
“When will mommy be home?” Oliver asked me, still pressing on the controller even though the game was turned off now.
“In a few hours,” I said.
“Why did she leave?” he asked.
“She had to work, buddy,” I said.
“Where’s Lydia?”
“Lydia?” It took me a second to remember who she was. “Oh yeah, did she watch you when your mom went to work?”
Oliver nodded.
“She’s staying with family,” I said. “But I’m sure you’ll see her again soon.”
“Because of the fire?” he asked me.
His eyes were so dark and serious, and it was hard to believe he was only four years old. My heart broke for him. No child should have to experience what he had. Chelsea was a good mom though, and it was clear she took care of the little guy as best she could. Some things couldn’t be prevented, however. Like the fire or her struggling to find a place to live.
“Yeah, Ollie,” I said, not wanting to get into a conversation about the fire. I didn’t want to stir up any bad memories for the kid, especially right as he was supposed to be sleeping. No need to fuel the nightmares.
He put the controller down on the floor and sat there, looking sad as ever. My heart ached for the boy, and I wanted so badly to know what to say or do. Everyone always said I was good with kids, but honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. I could be funny or silly with them, sure, that’s who I was. But anytime it came to something serious, I was at a loss for words. I never had to deal with any true responsibility when it came to children, and my lack of experience was weighing heavily on me in that moment.
“You okay, buddy?” I asked.
Oliver just shook his head, and right away, I knew I needed to do something to cheer the little guy up. There was no way I was going to be able to get him to go to bed, not like that. I decided to not fight it.
Standing up, I went over to the bags in the corner, digging through them until I found something for Oliver. I handed the bag over to him.
“Go on, open it up,” I said.
His smile returned in an instant as he dove into the bag like it was Christmas morning. He pulled out some toy trucks, brand new and still in the packaging, and it was like all sad thoughts had vanished. I knew it was only temporary, that the effects of everything that happened couldn’t be repaired with some simple toys. But I wasn’t an expert, and I wasn’t his mother either. I was limited in what I could do. In the moment, making him smile seemed like the best option, and I’m sure Chelsea wouldn’t mind me spoiling her little boy a bit.
“Thank you, Finn,” Oliver said, standing up and walking over to me. I kneeled down to his level and the little boy wrapped his arms around my neck.
My heart thudded hard in my chest. I didn’t want to get attached to the little guy, but I feared it was too late for that. I hugged him back.
“No problem, little man,” I said. “It’s going to be alright, you know?”
“Mmmhmm,” was all he said back to me, his face muffled against my shirt.
Jesus, so much for him not getting attached to me either. I ruffled his hair and pulled back from the hug.
“Wanna play with your new toys?”
Of course he said, “Yes!”
I knew there was no way we’d be getting to sleep, not for a while at least. It was fine though. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, and you just had to roll with the punches.
And besides, seeing Oliver happy and having fun was the highlight of my day. Totally worth getting scolded by Chelsea. I just hoped it wouldn’t hurt any of us when it was time for Chels and Ollie to move along again.
Chelsea
“Chelsea, there’s someone here to see ya,” Mike said. “Remember, you’re on the clock. Don’t spend too much time chit-chatting, you hear?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes, turning my head so Mike wouldn’t see me. I wasn’t sure who would be asking after me. Most likely a regular customer, I thought. No one knew I worked there, not even Finn knew the name of my workplace. I kept everything undercover for a reason.
As I stepped out from behind the bar, walking in the direction Mike pointed me in, my heart stopped as I saw the man at the table in the corner. Tall, dark, and handsome as ever, but his eyes were as dead as I remembered them to be. He looked over at me, smirked, and tipped his baseball hat in my direction.
He was the reason I kept my personal life private. How had he found me? My throat went dry, and I felt like a gazelle being hunted by a lion. I looked to my right, then my left, as if trying to find a way to run out of the bar. But it was too late. He had spotted me, and as I stood frozen in place, Rick was already getting out of his seat.
I decided I should at least try to run for it.
I pushed through the crowd of people, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. I made my way toward the back of the bar, to the “Employee’s Only” area, while also putting as many people between us as possible.
Rick was tall so he could see over most of the people in the bar.
“Watch it!” a man yelled as I pushed past him, oblivious to everything around me. His drink spilled all over his shirt. “You’re going to get me a new drink.”
I didn’t even listen to him yelling at me. I sped up, eyeing the door to the back room, and praying Rick got caught up in the crowds behind me.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I reached the door and pushed it open just as a hand grabbed ahold of my shoulder. He pushed me in the door, and it swung open. He followed me behind it and continued me pushing me through the back room until we came to the employee restroom.
“In there,” he said, his voice low and gravely. “Now.”
I didn’t really have a choice. I went into the bathroom, and my ex followed me, locking the door behind us. He leaned against it, reminding me that he blocked the only exit. My only escape.
“Rick, please--”
His hand slapped my cheek, and I fell backward against the sink. My face was burning, and I knew he was capable of far worse than a simple slap.
“Where’s my son?” he demanded.
My knees were weak, but I wasn’t going to give in. I wasn’t going to give him Oliver. He’d have to kill me first.
“He’s somewhere safe,” I said, standing up tall. “He’s in good hands.”
“You better not have another man raising my son,” he growled.
Rick’s eyes looked almost black as he glared at me. Once, those eyes were filled with so much love for me. Now, all I saw was hatred.
“He’s better off without you,” I spat.
Flinching, I prepared for another slap, but none came. Instead, Rick just laughed, shaking his head.
“Sur
e. Better off with a whore like you raising him. Keep telling yourself that, Chelsea,” he said. “It’s no surprise you’ve already found a new man, not with how easy you give it away and all.”
I clenched my hands at my sides. The urge to strike out, to lunge at him and fight back, was great. But I knew from experience that I wouldn’t be able to win this battle. I never won when it came to Rick. He was larger than me, easily having 150 pounds or more on me. Running was my only option. He had more money and resources than I did too. If he wanted to take me to court, I had no doubt that he could bribe his way to taking my son away.
I just needed to get out of there and run. Perhaps coming back to my home state was stupid, but New York City was so large, I thought maybe I could blend in.
Obviously not.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
“I have my ways, Chelsea,” he said, shaking his head and laughing at me like I was a child. “Wherever you go, I will find you. I know people all over the world.”
There was no escaping him, I feared. But I knew I had to try. The other options were too terrible to even think about. I kept my mouth shut and kept my hands balled up at my sides.
Rick kept talking, listing his demands. “You have two options, Chelsea. You can hand over Oliver, and you’re free to live your life and fuck whoever you want--”
“Go to hell,” I spat.
“Or you can come home and live the life I provide for you. I’d prefer this option, as I believe a boy needs his mother,” Rick said, ignoring my insult. “But the choice is yours.”
“Over my dead body, Rick.”
“Oh Chelsea,” he said, closing the distance between us. I flinched again as he raised his hand fearing the worst. But instead, he stroked my face. Somehow, that was worse. “Please, don’t make it come to that. I’d rather our son didn’t lose his mother, but if you continue to play games --”
Hearts On Fire: Firemen of Manhattan Series Page 7
