—CHAPTER THIRTY SIX—
AMARA
INTERROGATION
The morning offers surprise and realization. Haven and I both wake slowly, having to remind ourselves that we are no longer at the mercy of Bastian Beaugrand. Our eyes meet for a moment and a wave of relief hits us, followed by the unknown. What do we do now?
We do the only thing we can do.
We take turns bathing and then we quickly get dressed. Thank the perfectly aligned stars there is more than dresses in this room. Haven opts for anything, but a dress as well. I shudder at the reason. We find some stretchy black pants, knee-high boots, and she wears a little white blouse. I find a tight black one that’ll do for now.
“Amara, I need to ask you to do something for me.” Haven says, coming out of the bathroom, tugging on her bracelet, securing it around her wrist.
“Anything.” I promise her.
“I need you to tell Roman and Aaric, what Bastian did.” She can’t meet my eyes and I can’t blame her. I could never meet Keenan’s when we talked about what he’d almost done to me all that time ago.
“You want me to tell them?”
“I can’t, and I need them to understand that it isn’t their fault, that I can’t…” She trails off, unable to bring herself to say anything more.
I reach out and take her hand into mine. “I’ll tell them, okay? I’ll tell them.”
“Thank you.” she whispers.
When we enter the dining room for breakfast, an intimate one only big enough for our friends to dine in together, Roman smiles up at us, a wave of relief washing over him.
“Hi.” Aaric smiles over at me, touching my wrist.
I smile back. “Hi.”
My brother smiles at Haven, but she turns from him and inches closer to me. When she does I see it again. Bastian, on top of me. The ballroom. What Haven must feel is unimaginable to me. I feel my throat tighten every time I think of what Bastian might have done if Keenan hadn’t arrived. No one arrived for her. No one protected her the way Keenan protected me. I should hate him for that. I wonder if he knew, what Bastian was doing to my friend only a few halls away. The thought makes me want to hate him and so I push it away.
I shake my head at Aaric to let him know he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m sure it hurts her to turn from him in that way. The hugs she gave everyone yesterday was an oversight, adrenaline pushing aside her memories long enough for her to hug her loved ones. Now the very thought of touching anyone, but me makes her cringe.
“Come on. Let’s get some food. I’m starving.” I thread my fingers through hers and lead her to the table, pushing her to the end so only I’m surrounding her. Roman is across from me. He doesn’t know much, but he knows there’s something going on with Haven and he won’t push her. Roman doesn’t push.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks us both.
“It’s the first night in five months that I haven’t tossed and turned all night.” Haven confesses.
“And you?” Green eyes bore into me. Roman is not hiding his feelings for me. Not anymore. He wears them like a badge of honor. If only I could pretend that there’s no way in hell that he’ll stick around once he remembers that he and I are not on the same side regarding this war. He can ignore it now, but it can’t last. Nothing good ever does.
“I ah, I slept well, though I suspect time to rest is over.”
I know I’m right when Clea comes up to me after breakfast and tells me that Theon has requested I meet him in the throne room. She and I haven’t had a minute to talk and I guess we’re not going to get that minute now because she’s gone before I can stop her. In fact, she’s hardly looked at me since we got in yesterday.
“Hey,” I say, demurely pressing a hand to Kara’s back. “Wanna show me where the illusive throne room is?”
She smiles, but it’s forced. It breaks my heart. I didn’t mean to be so curt with her last night while Haven and I told our story, but I couldn’t tell her why Keenan was there without telling her everything. I still believe wholeheartedly that she doesn’t need to know what Keenan did back in Baal so the parts of the truth I do want to share have to be ironed out carefully, without an audience.
“Sure, Amara.” she says softly. Her tone damn near makes my skin crawl, like we’re a pair of cousins who see each other once every year and have nothing to say to each other.
We walk in silence, neither one of us wanting to break the ice first. I know it has to be me though. The only reason she’s being so distant is because of the way I spoke to her yesterday, swatting her questions away like a pesky fly.
“Kara—”
“You don’t have to say anything, Amara.” She cuts me off, killing any thoughts of apology. “You forget that I felt all of your emotions when we traded powers. I know Keenan is a sensitive subject and I know you didn’t want me to know he was there. It makes sense you wouldn’t want to tell me why.”
“Kara, stop, please.” I beg, halting us in the hallway. I can’t take this. I can’t stand this distance between us. I need to close it. “I promise you I will tell you everything you need to know about what Keenan was doing there after I meet with Theon. I just…I can’t stand the thought of you being angry with me.”
Pain breaks out over her face and she reaches for my hand, pulling it into hers delicately. “Amara, I am not angry with you. I’m angry with him, because I see the look of pain in your eyes every time someone mentions his name. I want to know, but if you don’t want to tell me that’s your right. I just wish you would. I’m your best friend.”
That should trump everything. I know that. I wish I could tell her every sordid detail, if for no other reason than to get it off my chest, but her love for her brother has to come before our truce to always tell each other everything. This will break her and I cannot break her. I’ve already broken so many other people in the last eight months. I will not break her.
“I’ll tell you, okay?” What you need to know.
“Okay.” She’s so solemn, and reserved now. The months have changed her. These babies have changed her. The Kara I knew would have pestered me until I told her what she wanted to know. She would have begged and pleaded and annoyed me into an early grave. I miss that girl. The carefree, impulsive, prying girl she used to be. I suppose I miss us both, because the Amara she knew would have run straight to her to complain about what a monumental ass her brother was.
Kara doesn’t come into the throne room with me, almost like she knows better. I am surprised to find Kol and Aaric present as well. As soon as I enter the room Theon dismisses the guards there with a silent nod. The doors shut behind me and my eyes fly to them, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. I touch my throat, feeling the cage tighten around me.
“Amara, are you alright?” Aaric asks me gently. He steps toward me, but doesn’t reach for me like he might have five months ago. Perhaps he thinks I fear touch like Haven. I wonder if he’s puzzled together the obvious signs of abuse like I’m sure Roman has.
“I’m fine.” I snap, sounding harsher than intended. I made the mistake of being weak in front of two kings twice now. I will not do it a third time. “What’s this about?” My gaze slides to Kol briefly when I feel his eyes on me. They do not leave me, even when I catch him staring.
“Well, we’d like to talk.” Theon begins. “We haven’t had a moment since you came back.”
“I already told you everything I know.” I reply defensively. “Willingly, I might add.”
“Amara, why did you lie about killing Bastian?” Aaric asks me. My eyes widen at the accusation, and the fact that he’s asking me this in front of two known enemies.
“Excuse me?” I challenge him. This surprises him. Aaric is my brother, my other half, my very best friend. We don’t speak to each other like this, but five months mulling over the betrayal from Keenan Volterra has made me paranoid, and rightfully so.
“Amara, I can always tell when you’re lying.”
This feels wrong. I feel li
ke I’m being backed into a corner and I have been nothing, but a caged animal for months now. I will not be backed into another. “Well then perhaps you don’t know me as well as you think you do, brother. Bastian Beaugrand is dead.”
“But you didn’t do it, did you?” he asks softly, despite the cruelty of my words. “Just tell us what really happened, Amara. No one is judging you, believe me.”
“Why are you doing this now? In front of them?” He’s putting me on display, as Bastian did. I don’t like it. It makes me want to run. I can do that now. I can run as far and as fast as I can. I am free. I will never be caged again, not even by my own brother.
“Because if we have any hope of working together there can’t be any anonymity.” Theon cuts in, taking a step toward me. I take a cautious step back.
“You might have wormed your way into Kara’s heart. Not mine.” I say firmly, so there is no mistake. “And the last time I checked you had no desire to work together.”
“A lot’s changed, Amara.” It’s the first time Kol has spoken to me since our hug in front of the palace. His tone is soft, solemn. He is afraid of upsetting me, but not because of the power I wield. At least, not the magical power. I could slice him with words. He and I both know it.
“Not for me.” I know they must see the pain flicker in my eyes because all three of them look at me as if I am the most fragile thing in the world. “You don’t know what he was like. What they were like together.” There’s no mistake I mean Bastian and Keenan. My voice is haunted, like I am, like Haven is.
“Whatever you tell us now doesn’t leave this room, Amara.” Theon assures me. “You have my word.”
I look at Aaric. He just nods. “Keenan killed Bastian.” I confess. “It wasn’t me. It was Keenan.”
“Why the hell would you take the fall for that prick?” Aaric asks, disgusted. His disgust surprises me. Aaric knows only what I’ve told them. He doesn’t know how Keenan ended up with the Vakrovian king, other than that he is a prince of Vakrov. Where is this anger coming from?
“He saved me. Bastian was trying to kill me.”
“Why would he do that?” Kol asks, stepping forward. “He went through all that trouble to get you.”
“Probably because I tried to kill him first. He knew I wasn’t going to stop until he was dead. It was kill or be killed. There was a struggle and Bastian was winning. He was on top of me. He was trying to…” I stop, like Haven, unable to bring myself to say the words. But they know where I was going with it. All three of them. Their faces distort into something like anger and guilt. “Keenan killed him to save me. He would have been executed if anyone found out, so I told him to tell them that it was me. Bastian had to die.” I stress. I need them to understand that. We did what we had to do to survive. We all did.
“No one is refuting that, Amara.” Aaric replies. “Believe me.”
“He raped her ya know.” Haven told me to tell Aaric. Not in this way, I’m sure, but I need them to get the full picture of what happened to us back there. I need Theon to get the full picture, so he understands that I will not be controlled anymore. “Haven. Repeatedly.”
Kol turns away, but I see the tears in his eyes before he does. Theon has the good sense to look repulsed and Aaric rushes to a plant nearby and vomits into it. “I didn’t find out until a few days ago.” The tears break out over my cheeks and I can’t stop them. “I was trying to get him to change his mind about the marriage. That’s when he told me, to rub it in my face, what he did to her.” Kol kicks a nearby chair so hard it cracks right down the middle. “It was happening for months and I never knew. I was supposed to protect her.” My voice breaks. My chest aches, like an old wound reopened. “I wish it had been me who killed him, believe me.”
“Shit,” Aaric hisses, hand over his mouth, trying to contain any more bile that might rise to the occasion.
“She wanted me to tell you.” I tell Aaric. “She couldn’t do it herself. She didn’t want you to think she was mad at you, for letting her go that day, at the funeral.” He looks as if I’ve just shot him in the heart. I suppose, in some ways, I have.
“I’m gonna kill him.” Kol fumes. I practically see steam coming out of his ears.
“Who are we killing now?” Theon asks casually.
“My father. I’m gonna kill him.”
“Oh yes. That’ll go over quite well.” Theon says sarcastically.
“He practically handed her over to him on a silver platter!” Kol shouts. His voice echoes in the hollow room. “That isn’t even how alliances work. But Bastian insisted Haven stay with him until the wedding, so that they could get acquainted. So that he could—”
“Hey,” I speak up before he can say anything we can’t unhear. I grab hold of Kol’s cheek and force his eyes to mine. He damn near calms at the sight of them. “Look at me.” I say calmingly and he does. “Theron Novak has lost his daughter forever because of this. Believe me, not having that girl in his life is punishment enough.” I look over at Aaric, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Do not tell anyone what I’ve said here today, you got that? She wanted me to tell you and Roman, that’s it. No one else knows until she says differently.”
“Amara, Haven—”
“I’m handling it.” I tell him. “I will get her through it, I promise you that. But I assume we’re here to talk about more than dead men.”
“I understand that you have been through a lot, Amara, but you are here, and as I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been more than accommodating since you arrived.” Theon begins. “All I’m proposing is you and I work together to make this world a better place for our people to live in.” He sounds so sincere I almost believe him.
Almost.
“You murdered the boy I loved, as well as Jayla’s sister. In what world do you think that I could ever trust you enough to work with you?”
“Because if we’re not careful, this world is going to murder a lot more.” Theon’s voice is dark, deadly, but I hear something else in it too. Desperation. He has never been a man on a warpath for power, but equality. As much as I hate to admit it, that’s what makes him different from Bastian.
“I’ve already got a champion, Theon. I don’t need another.” Kol raises an eyebrow to me. “When I was in Zakaria I made a deal with Katania Westergaard.”
“The queen?” Aaric asks. “You made a deal with the queen of Zakaria?”
“If I hadn’t busted my own way out of Vakrov she was going to.” I explain. “Kat wants the old laws back and she’s smart enough to know that Llìria can help her accomplish that.”
“That can’t be the only reason.” Kol says.
“It isn’t. She’s the one who told me about this prophecy to begin with. She believes that I’ll be instrumental in keeping it from coming to pass. Regardless, I have the support of Zakaria behind me.” My eyes flick up to Theon. “What do you have?”
“The support of our people.”
“Weren’t you the one who said that they wouldn’t follow you? Isn’t that why you’re so desperate to put me on the throne?”
Theon doesn’t like that. I suspect no thousand year old Zodiac wants to be put in their place by a seventeen year old girl. “They follow me because they believe I can put a stop to the persecution of our kind, Amara. They don’t follow me because I am their king. They follow me because I am their best bet. How do you even know you can trust the Zakarian queen?”
“I trust her a hell of a lot more than I trust you. She’s yet to kill anyone I love.”
“You won’t be able to play that card forever, love.”
“Oh, I’ll play it for as long as it gets a reaction out of you.” I say cockily. His eyes widen in surprise. “I am not a fool, Theon Beleros. I have looked into the face of true evil and you can play the part, but you’re not it. I see the way you look at my best friend. I see the desperation in your eyes to see our people free of persecution, of being forever hunted by the Zodiac Hunters. You are not a monster. You’re a selfish, ego
tistical prick, to be sure, but not a monster. Bastian didn’t bat an eye when he told me what he did to Haven. You were hurt, because someone you care about loves her.” My eyes flick to Kol and then back at him, so he understands who I mean. “So why don’t you tell me what you want?”
Silence falls over us for a time while Theon considers his answer. Finally he gives it. “I want Llìria to thrive again. I want our people to feel safe, and I want to protect my child from whatever this prophecy has planned for him.”
Only Aaric seems to notice what’s wrong with that sentence as my jaw understandably drops. “Did you just say your child?” I ask slowly. My head spins. That can’t be true. Kara didn’t even know Theon until she was already at least two months pregnant.
Surprisingly Theon’s panicked blue eyes shoot to Aaric. Aaric slaps himself in the forehead. “Yeah, I hadn’t gotten around to telling her that yet.”
“You’re the father?” I blurt out. My eyes fly to Kol and then back to my brother. I want to scream and rage at him for not telling me this right away. I want to kick Kara’s pregnant ass for not telling me through the Echo long ago.
“This changes nothing.” Theon says, though not even he believes the words flying out of his mouth.
“This changes everything.” I march from the room then, racing down the halls to find Kara. My hands singe, scorching hot and I know, in my anger, Kara’s damned fire magic is trying to surface. It had behaved itself the whole fight with Bastian, probably when I could have used it the most, but it chooses now to plague me? A spark of fire ignites in my hand and I shake it off, forcing the flame back from whence it came.
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