“Sweetheart, you may be immune to nether magic, but nether magic infused with fire does not count. Trust me when I say you do not want to feel Niykee Lysander’s ebony fire in its full, unyielding glory. She took me down and I’m a thousand years old, love. Tell us what we want to know, sweetheart, before that happens.”
“I can’t.” she cries.
“Leave us.” Theon suddenly orders us.
“What?” Malia snaps.
“I said leave us!” Theon shouts, though no one moves until I say so.
“Come on. Let’s go.” I say, gesturing to the door.
We all start to file out of the room one by one. “Not you.” Theon calls to Niykee. “You stay.” Niykee looks at me. I just nod and close the door behind the rest of us.
“What do you think he’s gonna do?” Bay asks.
“We probably don’t want to know.”
The rest of us head down to the dining hall for a late dinner. We’re just about done when Theon comes in with the location of the Nexus. He’s had Dariella thrown in the dungeon until we have the Nexus in hand. Haydan has joined her as well, which I suppose prompts Kara’s newfound fury when she rushes into the dining hall and over to me and Theon where we’re speaking privately off to the side.
“Why is Haydan in the dungeons?”
Theon’s gaze falls to me. “You still haven’t told her?”
“I was kind of hoping you would.”
“What is going on?” Kara demands.
—CHAPTER FORTY—
KARA
VISITOR
“She’s never going to forgive me.”
“She’ll forgive you.”
“She’s never going to speak to me.” Kol amends. “She’s going to ignore me forever. She can do that ya know. She’s been doing it for weeks now. Hell, I bet that if Theon did get his way and we were married she’d still find a way to ignore me.” I snort a laugh. “It isn’t funny, Kara.”
“It’s a little funny.”
Kol breaks out of his obsessing long enough to rush to my aid, helping me move the crib across the room against the wall I emptied for it. “Why are you doing this anyway? We have people to set up the nursery for you ya know.”
“Well I don’t want your people setting up the nursery for me. I want to do it myself.” I pause, glancing over to find him looking offended. “I think you know what I meant.” Kol sets the crib down and heaves a sigh, looking defeated. “Just find something she can’t run from and talk to her, Kol.”
“Like what?”
“I—I don’t know, Kol. I give you the idea, you run with it. That’s how this works.” I look over at him as he sets some of the baby clothes on the shelf across the room. “Kol,” I say.
“What?” he mutters, taking his time to turn and look at me.
“Theon and Aaric told me about your brother, about Haydan.” I say gently. A look of realization flickers in his pretty blue eyes and he nods, but says nothing of it. “How are you doing with that?”
I don’t even know how I’m doing with that. Haydan was kind to me, he tried to help with the prophecy. How he is actually a Hunter I’ll never understand. It makes zero sense to me and in a world that never makes any sense, that stings a little.
“I’m fine, Kara.” he says, tone clipped. A brush off if there ever was one. That is something Kol Kasanoff has down to a science.
“It’s okay if you’re not ya know? Fine.” I add, hoping he will open up to me. He says nothing. “So what? You can spend all day working up apologies Amara won’t allow you to give, but you can’t try and tell me how you feel about your brother being a double agent for the Zodiac Hunters?”
“Yup.” Is all I get.
“You’re deflecting.”
“Yup.” he says again. “I’d much rather fold baby clothes for my ex-girlfriend and father figure’s unborn children than talk about how my brother betrayed us.”
“And there’s your argument.” I say simply. He raises an eyebrow to me in silent question. “Thirteen hells, do I have to explain everything, Nikolas?” He’s alarmed by my use of his full name. “Amara is angry with you because she feels you betrayed her. Take how you’re feeling about what Haydan has done and put it to some good use, make an apology.” The light goes on in his head and I throw my arms up. “He’s got it, ladies and gentlemen. He’s got it!”
Kol shoves me in the shoulder playfully. “Thank you, Kara.” he sings sarcastically while moving for the door.
“You’re welcome.”
The door opens and he steps out just as Theon steps up. “Hello, love.”
“Go away.” I snap, letting him darken my mood substantially. “I’m not talking to you.”
“Kara—”
“There are so many things I am angry at you for I’ve lost count. Now go.”
“Kara, love, your brother is here.”
“What?” I whisper.
My brother. My dear brother. He is a subject I have warned my mind away from for weeks now. Ever since that fateful day where Amara, in a fit of rage and emotion, blurted out what he did to her almost two years ago. It nearly broke me then and it nearly breaks me now to think of seeing his face after all he’s done.
“Your brother is here, outside the palace. Now, I can let him in or I can send him on his way, but the choice is yours.”
“No.” I shake my head. “The choice is Amara’s. He hurt her, not me.”
“I beg to differ, love, but unfortunately Amara is not here at the moment. She’s gone on a little errand with Aaric and the Limacoran prince. She won’t be back until tomorrow. So it is your decision to make. Do you want to see him, or no?”
A war of its very own breaks out inside of me. Turn him away, save the sadness and anger and heartbreak for another day or let him in and tell him all I need to tell him now. Just weeks ago I only dreamt of seeing my brother again, of feeling safe in his arms, knowing nothing could ever hurt me while he was standing by my side. Now I don’t even trust him, let alone like him.
“Let him in.” I say, my voice almost breaking.
“Are you sure love?”
“I’m sure. I want to see him. I need to see him.”
“Very well.” He turns to the guard waiting behind him. They communicate with a look and then the guards set off to let my brother in I suppose. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“Yes, please.” I say, sounding small. He holds a hand up for me to take. I do it for no other reason than to keep myself from running.
My anger with Theon right now stretches far and beyond the issue at hand now. I can put them aside for right now to confront my brother about all the horrible things he’s done to my best friend.
Theon leads me down into the foyer of the palace where I see my brother standing surrounded by a sling of guards dressed only slightly different than ours here. They don dark red uniforms with black boots and black belts where their weapons are holstered. I’m surprised Theon has allowed this, but I suppose he believes since he is a friend of Amara’s—I’m still unsure why she considers him one still, but she does—that he means no harm.
Keenan himself is a sight to see. He’s in formal military get up, dressed much like Theron used to dress for formal occasions. A dark black uniform, dripping in gold as well as badges of honor he never earned. Across the front is a dark red sash the same shade as his guards’ uniforms.
When Keenan’s eyes fall on me they look alarmed, probably forgetting for the moment that I’m pregnant. About eight months pregnant to be exact. I’m showing considerably, especially since there’s two of them swimming around in there.
“Her Royal Highness has stepped away from the palace for the night on official business, but you are welcome to spend the night until tomorrow when she is expected to return.” Theon says, stepping up to my side.
Keenan merely nods at Theon, swallowing visibly. “Kara,” he stammers.
Hearing his voice sparks me back to life and I march up to him, slapping him clean
across the face. The guards around him stand to attention, preparing to attack if need be and Theon’s guards do the same in my defense, but Keenan silences them with the flick of his wrist. They all take a dutiful step back.
“I can’t.” I tell Theon and then I rush out of the room with as much grace as I can given the giant boulder on my stomach.
My first instinct is to eat. It’s always what Amara and I used to do when we were upset. Unfortunately all my friends are gone. Niykee went with Amara. So did Felix and Bay. I’m alone. It makes me miss Jayla. While Amara would hate him on my behalf—not that she doesn’t have plenty of reason to hate him all on her own—Jayla would give me her unbiased opinion.
I walk to the dining hall entrance, but there are so many people dining in there I can’t bear to go in. Theon arrives behind me, pressing a hand onto my shoulder. “Come with me, love.”
I don’t know where he intends to take me, but I know wherever it is it has to be better than here.
We arrive at a set table out on the east wing terrace. There is a lunch spread all ready to be eaten. “I had arranged this for you and I so we could talk, but why don’t you sit and when you’re ready I’ll send your brother in so the two of you can talk?”
“Thank you, Theon.” I says softly. He squeezes my shoulder gently to let me know he’s got me. “Just give me a few minutes and then send him in.”
“You got it, love.” He presses a kiss to my hair and then leaves me to my spiraling.
I settle into one of the seats once he’s gone. I grab a slice of bread from the basket and lather it up with cinnamon butter. I’m half way through my third slice before I feel some semblance of calm.
“Damn it, I wish I could drink.” I say, throwing my napkin down to the table.
“That sounds more like you.” Keenan says from the open doors. I look up to see him standing there with a half-smile. “Hey, buddy.” he says gently, using the nickname he used to call me.
“Don’t you dare try to be nice to me.” I say as he comes to sit across from me, ordering his guards to stay behind.
“How else should I be, little sister?” he asks. When I don’t answer he adds, “Your bodyguard is just inside. He seems pretty smitten over you. I suppose you are too given how that happened.” He eyes my stomach. I move a hand over my belly protectively.
“I’m not talking about that with you.”
Keenan grimaces. “No, I suppose not.”
He doesn’t even sound like my brother. He sounds…like Roman. Like a prince. A king.
Vakrov must be in a state of shock as of right now, losing two kings in the matter of months and then gaining a king they hardly know.
“What would you like to talk about, sister?”
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“Why don’t we begin by eating? After all, you are eating for three now. A few slices of bread wouldn’t have sustained even the 100-pound you.” He smiles gently. I do too, though I hate myself for it.
“Fine.” I say reluctantly, but mainly because I am hungry.
We eat most of the salmon, which I know Keenan doesn’t like. He’s never liked fish, but he eats it anyway, as well as the vegetables and the noodles that are paired with it. When we’re finished we fall into an uncomfortable silence, entering into a battle of wills. Who will make the first move. I accuse him of all the horrible things he’s done, he tries to apologize for it all.
I break first.
“I know what you did to Amara.”
Keenan looks guilty, but he doesn’t seem to know for what. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”
I cut him an angry look and he recoils, looking ill. “Baal.” Is all I say. The sickly look in his eyes worsens. “I know Theon’s part in it. So does he. Do you want to know the worst part of it, Keenan? Is that I defended you, for two years to her, begging her to let whatever it was go. And now, I feel like the fool because she should never let it go. She should never let you off the hook for what you did to her.”
“Kara, you know me. I never wanted to hurt her. Not her. Never her.” he adds, more to himself than anyone else.
“You let Bastian Beaugrand torture her!” I remind him. “And almost got her killed because of it. I saved her. It was my magic that saved her. Without our Echo my best friend would be dead right now. You betrayed her, Keenan. You sold her out to a monster who took advantage of Haven for months. She’d a’ been better off here.”
“I know what I’ve done, Kara.”
“Do you?” I shoot back, narrowing my eyes at him. “Because the fact that you think you deserve any forgiveness for what you’ve done continues to baffle me.”
“I don’t, Kara. I know I don’t deserve Amara’s forgiveness, or yours! What I did to you was unforgivable, but you have to understand, I thought I was doing the right thing, for you and for her.”
“What did you do to me?” I ask softly.
Keenan flushes, taken aback, by what, I can’t fathom. “You mean Amara didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Fuck.” He hisses through gritted teeth. He stands and pushes away from the table, trying to get his bearings and failing. He jerks a hand through his dark hair, turning from me, but only for a moment. He whips back around and lets his eyes settle on me. After a time he speaks. “She told you what I did to her, but she never told you what I did to you?”
“What the hell did you do, Keenan?” I rise slowly, thinking I’m probably going to need the chair when he finally spills his guts.
“Kara, I…it was me. I’m the one who—”
“Stop!” I cry out, clutching my belly. “Stop, please stop.” I beg him. I already know what he’s about to say and I can’t hear it. I can’t bear to hear him say the words.
“Kara—”
“Don’t.” I throw a hand out in his direction to stop him from coming any closer. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
“Kara, you have to understand, the prophecy—”
“I don’t wanna hear another word about the fucking prophecy. I’m your sister! You’re my big brother. You’re supposed to protect me. Instead you—I can’t. Theon!” I shout and he is there before I can even take a breath. “I want him gone! Send him away, Theon. I can’t stand to look at him.”
Theon embraces me, tugging me into his arms as I begin to cry. “Well, he has to stay so that Amara can talk to him when she gets back, but you don’t have to see him, sweetheart, okay? You don’t have to see him. Come on.”
Theon leads me out of there as fast as he can into the hallway where we see Clea approaching. “Kara,” Her blue eyes immediately flick to Theon when she sees I’m crying. “What happened?” she demands.
“Keenan is here. She just found out what he did to her. Take her to her room please while I deal with him.”
Clea takes me by the shoulders at first and then wraps her arm around me. “Come on, Kar.”
When we get back to my chambers Clea sits me down on the couch in the seating area. Once we’re there I am able to process all that I’ve just found out. And I start to cry all over again. I can’t help it. My hormones are all over the place and I can barely think straight, let alone remain cool-headed.
Theon returns about the time I’m recovering from another breakdown. Clea’s eyes meet his and he nods for her to let him take over, like I am a child in need of babysitting.
Theon replaces Clea’s spot by me on the couch and he presses a hand to my back. Just his touch is like a shock to my system. “How are you doing, love?”
“Did you know?” I whisper.
“I knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because Amara thought it best not to tell you and I was inclined to agree. You’re pregnant, Kara. It’s not the type of stress you needed and quite frankly it took Amara several hours to convince me that I needed to refrain from killing him. I couldn’t imagine how you might take it.”
“I’m his sister, Theon.
How could he do something like that to his own sister?” I cry. The tears resurface, but I force them back. I’m done crying. My skin burns so hot Theon flinches away instinctively. “Sorry.”
“Something tells me Bastian had a hand in playing with more than just Haven and Amara’s minds. He had a hand in your brother’s as well. Had him convinced that he had to do what he did to you and Amara to save you both, perhaps to save us all.”
“Are you defending him?” I snap, letting my emotions get the best of me.
“No, sweetheart. I’m just answering the question.” he says calmly.
“I’m sorry. I can’t wait for these babies to come.”
“You and me both, love.” Theon says.
I laugh. “I think you just made a joke.”
“I tried.” He gathers a clump of my hair and tucks it behind my ear. The way his big blue eyes watch me, it’s unnerving.
“Stop it.” I chastise him.
“Stop what?”
I stand, needing to put distance between me and his tender touches. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” He stands too, but he doesn’t move to close the space between us. He looks confused, but seems to understand that I want him to stay where he is.
“Like I’m the only person in the whole world. Like…let’s fall in love and have these babies and a life together. It’s just—with these babies and this prophecy and the million other things going on right now it’s just too much pressure.”
Theon goes on the defensive. “I do believe I have kept my feelings for you in check for the last five months. I have not made one move to touch you or even kiss you and I’ve wanted to. Believe me I’ve wanted to, but I knew that it was too much and so I didn’t. But none of that has anything to do with why you’ve been angry with me for days.”
My mouth falls open and he seems to brace himself for my blown-out-of-proportion response. “Are you kidding me? Ever since Amara got back it’s like I don’t exist. All of your attention has been on her. If you two didn’t share lineage I’d think you were, as you like to call it, smitten.”
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