“It was never true.” I tell him. “Talvinder revealed one last thing. That me being the last nether user never meant I was the last one in existence. What it meant was that I was the last one to be born in the last two decades. Kara’s baby, given she doesn’t pop before December, will be the first nether user born in the last eighteen years. It’s why he thought the baby would be so powerful. Like maybe he’ll be even more powerful than me or, at the very least, equal in power.”
“Do you see what I mean?” Theon says to Kara. “Interpretations are just that, love. Interpretations. Seers can’t predict the future any better than we can.”
“I don’t want it to be true, Theon!” Kara shouts, rising to her feet surprisingly fast for an eight-month pregnant girl. “But I also know that if I have to lose my best friend again it will kill me.” Tears spring to her eyes, but rather than let us see them, let us comfort her, she storms from the room. “I need a minute.”
“I’ll go.” Theon presses a hand on my shoulder and follows Kara out.
“Poor Kara.” Haven says sadly. “That girl cannot catch a break.”
“She’ll be fine. Pregnant Kara is a bit soft, yes, but she’s strong. Fiercely so. She’ll get through this.” I assure Haven. I don’t need her dwelling on any more sadness than she already is. I already feel like I’m losing her, slower and slower. “Why don’t we take a break, yeah? It’s almost dinner time and we all have a lot to think about and more to discuss.”
Roman is the first person to chase me out of the council chambers. No one else sees how I’m fighting to hold myself together, but he sees it. He always sees me. A gentle hand tugs on my hand. I don’t pull away. I let him take hold, squeeze it in reassurance. “You have to take a break too.” Roman says softly. “You can’t always take care of everyone.”
“Isn’t that what I’m signing up for?” I challenge him. “This country, these people? Won’t I always be taking care of everyone else?”
“More than likely, yes, but while my father instilled some more than reprehensible values about your kind, he did teach me some useful tips to ruling. You can spend all day taking care of everyone else, as long as at night you take care of you. Or, if you’re lucky, you let the person you love do that for you.”
Oh Roman, you’re barking up the wrong tree, I want to tell him. I am completely incapable of expressing my feelings for even my friend Clea right now, never mind the handsome, doting prince.
“That’s good advice. And Roman, your father, he isn’t a bad man. I know you feel resentment toward him right now. For what he’s let happen to Haven and for the way he’s treated my people, now that you’ve seen us for yourself, but he did what he thought was right for his family. Nothing he did was done out of spite. He loves us.” I cover his hands with my empty one. “But you’re nothing like him. You have your own values and morals. Your thoughts are your own. The great thing about being young leaders at the top of the world is that we can change it. We can change it together.”
“You know I’ll have to go home soon, for nothing else then to at least talk to him, try to get him to see this our way. We have to try peace first.”
“And when you go I’ll go with you. We’ll need Aaren soon anyway, once the Monarch Trials commence. And Jayla. With this prophecy looming we need someone who can wield magic outside of our elements.”
“We’ll do this together then.” His tone is hopeful, as if he thought we may not be on the same side here. I do not want to know what it looks like to be on opposite sides of Roman Novak. The thought makes my heart ache.
“Always.” I offer him a small smile.
“Amara?”
With a sigh I turn toward Kol. “You are not going to give up, are you?”
“Not on you.”
“Amara,” Roman says in warning. Roman is a Nikolas Novak sympathizer. He’s heard his brother out and has at least made peace with him. I don’t know that he’ll ever forgive him for betraying their father, but he’s trying. He wants me to try too. For him I can. After all, he’s given up so much for me. When Roman decides I am going to give Kol a chance to explain he bows out gracefully.
Kol moves to take Roman’s place in front of me. “Amara, talk to me, please.” He’s begging now, pleading for my attention. I turn my eyes up to find his and they are seconds away from tears. What I’m doing, the way I ignore him, it’s hurting him. I know hurt. I felt as if my heart might turn and bust right out of my chest when we first got to Vakrov and Keenan was so cold, so cruel. It made my whole body ache for weeks. You never know how heartache can affect you physically until you’ve felt it. Kol Kasanoff—no, Nikolas Novak feels it now. I’m the cause and I never want to hurt someone else the way I was hurt.
“Kol, I don’t know why you did what you did. I don’t know how it happened or what happened to you to create something inside of you strong enough to betray your father, your brother and sister, your blood, but I trusted you. I always trusted Keenan, so when he betrayed me it broke me in ways I cannot describe to you. But I found my way back to trusting you again and then you broke it, again. I cannot put myself through that a third time, Kol. I won’t.”
The look of hurt in his eyes doubles, tenfold. I want to look away from those pleading blue eyes, but I can’t. “Is there nothing I can do? Are you doomed to hate me forever?”
The word hate strikes a chord with me, because that is not what I feel when I look at him. It’s what I feel when I think of Bastian. It’s what I felt for Keenan after he betrayed me to his king. It’s what I feel when I think of the way the people that are like me have been treated, and the people that are like him. But hate is not something I feel when I look into his eyes, or when I see his handsome face. Not hate. Sadness, and blinding fear.
“I don’t hate you, Kol. I’m afraid of you!” The words rip from me before I can stop them and Keenan stops at the door as he’s exiting the council room with Clea on his heel. Up ahead Theon is coming toward us with Kara at his side. All sets of eyes fall on me and I swallow back a new lump. After a beat they all disperse, trying not to listen.
“Amara, I—I never wanted that.” He takes a cautious step back from me, thinking it is him that I fear, but I close both my hands around his so that I can make him understand what I mean.
“I didn’t—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I’m afraid of you. What I meant was I’m afraid of what I could do when I’m with you. I haven’t been avoiding you because I’m angry with you, Kol. I’ve been avoiding you because I hurt you.”
Realization washes over him. I expect relief, that it isn’t his fault I’ve been avoiding him, but instead I just find more sadness. It doesn’t make him happy that I punish myself the way I do. “Amara, what happened, with my soul, it was an accident.”
“I know that, but I don’t ever want it to happen again. We kissed, once, and I almost lost you. And I—I kissed Keenan a few times while we were in Vakrov and nothing like that ever happened. I don’t know why it did with us, but it scares me.”
He cups my cheeks in his hands, bending slightly so that we are face to face. “You are much stronger than that now. You have to know that. You are in control of your magic. It can’t control you. I will help you. Theon will help you, but I have never known you to run from something that’s hard.”
“Well then maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” I say through tears spilling over my cheeks. I can be strong, I can be their queen when I need to be, but right now I’m just Amara, a girl with way too many emotions overwhelming me. I sniff, blinking away my tears, trying to look away from him, but he isn’t having it.
“Amara, look at me.” His tone is so demanding that I can’t help, but look back up at him. “I think I know you pretty well, and you’re strong. Way stronger than your magic. I trust you. But don’t avoid me like that, okay? You don’t know what it’s like to have you avoid you, but I do and it sucks.” I damn near choke on my own laugh and he smiles. “Come here.” He tugs me into his arms, wr
apping me up tight.
I squeeze him, letting myself enjoy the embrace. That’s one thing I miss about Tristan, about having someone. The comfort. “I still haven’t forgiven you ya know.” I remind him.
“You will.” he says confidently.
Back in the council chambers everyone seems to have calmed a little, refreshed from some time away from thoughts of treaties and prophecies. Kol seems a little more at ease now and I admit, so am I.
“So you lied to me.” Theon mutters to me as we settle back into our seats. I know he means about why I’d been avoiding Kol.
I just smile, dragging the legs of the chair across the floor to get closer to the table. “I guess you don’t know everything then, do you old man?”
He grasps his heart as if I’ve shot him, half-smiling. “Your Highness, you wound me with your words.”
“I’ll wound you with a lot more than that if you hurt my girl.” My eyes slide to Kara, talking with Haven, then slide back to him. “I’ve been watching the two of you for the last few weeks. I’m not blind.”
“Yes ma’am.” His smile brightens.
“Alright.” I address the room. “Now that we’ve shared all we know about this prophecy, what about you?” I ask Keenan. “Did Bastian tell you anything we haven’t already shared?”
Keenan barely reacts. “Nothing like what I’ve heard today. What Bastian told me was mostly on your part, not the baby’s, and even then he didn’t know much. Just that if this baby was born you would be in grave danger. We assumed it had something to do with the boy remaking the world. You’re very powerful, Amara. With your ability at his side who knows what he could do in addition to what he’ll already be able to do.” A brief silence falls. Nothing we haven’t dealt with before. “Do any of you have an actual plan for when the baby is born?”
“You don’t get to ask that.” Kara sneers venomously.
“Who should ask then?” he challenges her, the first time since their fight. I only know what I’ve been told, but from what little that was it didn’t end well. In fact, it ended in tears. Kara’s. “Tell me, sis, because I’ve just learned that you tried to put your little baby out of its misery all on your own so obviously you’ve been asking the same thing.”
“Keenan,” Haven hisses in reproof.
“If we raise them right—”
“If you raise them right?” Keenan cuts her off. “Sweetheart, they will be raised in the midst of a war between Houses. The only way that boy stands half a chance at being raised to do the right thing is if he’s raised far away from this place. If you come back to Vakrov with me—”
“You’ll what?” It’s my turn to cut him off. “Help her raise her babies? Do better than we can? Because I lived in that palace for five months and there was no warmth to be had. No kindness, no nurturing space for her to raise these children. That baby’s best bet is to be raised by his mother and her Zodiac, the people who will love it best. That’s us, in case you were confused.” Theon looks like he wants to applaud. Aaric grins proudly.
“Maybe we can bind its powers.” Clea suggests.
“What? Like our parents did to us? Look how well that turned out.” I fire back.
“Not his nether magic. Just the arcane magic.”
“Who knows if that can even be done?” Roman argues.
“Jayla would, or Lavina.” Kol says.
“The only person who will be making any sort of decisions regarding the child will be Kara and Theon, his parents.” I let the word drag so that everyone understands. “We’ve shared what we know about the prophecy. It’s time we get back to why Keenan is here in the first place.” I’m met with silence, finally. “Aaric, Theon, and I discussed it and we’re willing to give you your alliance, but with a few amendments. Llìria will be a safe haven for Borderlines, of all kinds. The Borderlines we took from Vakrov during my escape want to stay here, but many of them have families still in Vakrov. This alliance will not happen unless you release any remaining Borderlines we couldn’t save, allow the families of the ones already here to join them, on Vakrov’s dime, and the ones who choose to stay in their home, in Vakrov, are no longer threatened with your persecutions.”
Keenan’s fingers drum on the table, one after the other. A muscle in Kara’s cheek twitches with every tap. She’s just about to shout at him to stop when he finally speaks. “You can have your Borderlines, and their freedom, but most of them won’t want to leave. They won’t want to follow a Serpentarian leader, just like they didn’t want to follow a man who hated their very existence.”
“I’ve already got a solution for that.”
“You do?” Aaric questions.
I lean back in my chair, tapping a pen on the table, bracing myself for the blowback from what I am about to say. “Borderlines are like us. Born with magic people don’t understand and so they want us gone, wiped from the face of our world, because we’re unpredictable. Because we cannot be controlled the way they would like us to be controlled. We are the same so I will fight for them, for Niykee, for Kol, for Missy and Finn, and all those people Bastian Beaugrand locked away with me. The Borderlines will follow me because their king will be one of them.”
Whispers ensue, but when Keenan meets my eyes I know he knows what I’m about to say. “Amara—”
“After the Monarch Trials, if I win, Nikolas Novak and I will be married, joining a Serpent queen with a Borderline king.”
Another wave of silence reaches out and grabs us. For a minute.
And then Clea speaks.
Poorly.
“Well,” She clucks her tongue, grinning. “I have to admit, I did not see that coming.”
—CHAPTER FORTY FOUR—
AMARA
BONES
“I have to admit, I expected a fight when I was going to suggest you still wed Kol, but it seems I was quite wrong.”
I cut Theon a look, rolling my eyes.
“I expected resistance, because of the Novak prince.” he elaborates. “It’s been days since your little announcement and the Volterra boy’s return to Vakrov. Have you spoken to Roman and Kol?” I narrow my eyes up at him. “What?”
“A girl confessed her feelings in a buzzed stupor one time and now you think you can be my therapist?” I ask. He doesn’t get offended. Just folds his arms over his chest and gives me a knowing look. I heave a sigh. “I have not spoken to either of them. Believe it or not, Kol is avoiding me now. And Roman, I think he’s hurt.”
“Well, you did decide to marry his brother.”
I hate how right he is.
Luckily he doesn’t give me time to dwell on it.
“What’s on the schedule for today?”
“Haydan Kasanoff.” I answer quickly. “Haydan knows why they want this baby so badly and if the Hunters are planning an attack to get to Kara we need to know about it.”
“I wholeheartedly agree.”
“If you’re interrogating my brother I want in.” Kol suddenly appears, approaching us quickly. He doesn’t even glance my way. He looks right past me at Theon. Theon challenges him with a simple look. “He’s my brother, Theon.”
“He’s mine too.”
“Oh lovely. Both of them.” I grumble, slinking back as Roman approaches.
“He’s my brother too, right?” Roman says to Kol. There’s a note of challenge in his voice. Roman isn’t usually confrontational, but I suppose the bomb I dropped on him a few days ago is weighing on him. Or perhaps that’s giving myself too much credit and it’s not about me. “I’d like to talk to him, our traitorous brother who I didn’t know existed until about a couple months ago.”
“Where is he?” I ask Theon.
“Dungeons.” Theon replies.
“Bring him somewhere we can talk to him.” I tell Theon.
“Princess too good for the dungeons now?” Theon teases.
I whirl on him, half-laughing. “Brave, Mr. Beleros.” He laughs and his laughter spreads to me. The boys remain unamused. “But what I meant is
perhaps we could do this civilly, given he is the brother of three people I care about.” One set of blue eyes and the other green burn into me from opposites sides. Never did I imagine I’d have any other choice than Keenan Volterra. Now I’ve got two brothers vying for my affections and I have no idea how to handle that. Obviously. It took me two weeks to tell Roman what Bastian did to his sister. I avoid confrontation. I don’t like it, and yet I can confront the mistreatment of my people so easily. Physical war is easy. The war in my heart is much more difficult.
Theon grins, seeing the looks of longing on my suitors’ faces. “Sure, love. Whatever you say. Come find us in the parlor room in the east wing when you’re ready, Your Highness.” He bows as he slips from the hallway, purposely leaving me alone with Roman and Kol.
Bastard.
“Amara—”
“I’m gonna go get Aaric, see if he wants in on this interrogation.” I bolt before either of them can stop me.
Aaric is in the dining hall having lunch with most of our Zodiac when I approach him from behind. I place my hands to his shoulders from behind and drop my lips to his ear. “Save me.” I beg.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, amused.
“Roman and Kol are helping me and Theon interrogate Haydan Kasanoff and that man is of no help. I need you as a buffer.”
Aaric continues to laugh and then presses a quick kiss on Kara’s cheek where she’s seated beside him. “Later, beautiful.” Aaric spins around and clutches my shoulders. “Alright, come on.”
I feel a lot better with Aaric at my side when we walk into the throne room. Inside Theon has Haydan sitting at a table, wrists chained together in front of him. He sits in a chair opposite Haydan with Kol at his side.
When Aaric and I approach Roman’s eyes find mine. I look away quickly, like a coward.
My first mistake.
“Okay, we’re not doing this.” Roman grabs my hand and pulls me through the throne room toward the back where Theon has his secret study. He stops when we’re in the hallway though. Just far enough away from the throne room that no one will hear us.
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