Dom gave a low growl of warning, baring his sharp teeth, his temper on the verge of snapping. He hadn’t wanted to go quietly in the first place, so now being asked to sit still while this man yelled at them must be quite taxing for him. He’d already endured so much that it really was a huge effort on his part to willingly be put into bonds again.
The scarred woman moved in her chair and the old wood made several creaks.
Uriah glanced down at his prisoner for a moment, considering the situation. “Then again, business before pleasure, right?” He decided, pointing at Dom. “Point taken. I always enjoy a healthy and productive debate on an issue.” He nodded in approval. “Very wise. Very wise, indeed.” He turned to look at his victim again. “The man has got a good head on his shoulders. That’s the characteristic Grizzwoodian shrewdness, shining through.” He nodded in admiration. “The boy does our birthplace proud, Dove.” He returned to their booth. “Continue.”
“Does that sound like something you could help us with?” Taylor asked, crossing her fingers that he wouldn’t try to kill them right there.
“I’m a pirate.” He told her simply. “I could get it done, should we decide to help you.”
“Why would a pirate want to help us?” Ryle asked in confusion. “No boats will be involved and we’re at least a week’s march from the sea.”
She kicked him under the table.
“Ow!” He scooted away from her. “I was just asking, jeez!”
“I’m expanding.” Uriah explained, not missing a beat. “I believe that land-based operations are an underrepresented segment of the piracy trade and I am rushing to fill this void before my competitors correct their oversight. No one expects to be set upon by pirates so far from the ocean.”
“You don’t even have a ship anymore, do you?” Dom asked in his deep voice, sounding equal parts bored and disgusted. “You are just hiding in these woods because you’re some kind of defeated human with no honor, who…”
Uriah cut him off before he was finished. “A vessel is an unneeded hindrance when one is trying to move quickly and break into a new field.” He shifted in his seat. “Such a large investment of capital would merely constrain an agile entrepreneur such as myself and limit my ability to pursue new opportunities.” He pointed at the scarred woman. “We are embarking on a period of rapid change and growth in our industry, and Ransom and I are eager to excel in this emerging and exciting market for our talents.”
Taylor was suddenly inspired by Dom’s own natural negativity, and decided to use it to help get them what they wanted. “I heard that your last command didn’t go so well.” She told the man, trying to goad him into accepting their offer just to prove his piracy prowess. True, she hadn’t exactly heard that story— or anything about him at all, in fact— but she was gambling it was probably what had happened to the man’s vessel. “Something about the crew trying to kill you?”
“An apocryphal tale, silly girl.” Uriah frowned slightly, as though disappointed that she’d ever believe such vicious gossip. Still, the man’s demeanor told her that she must have hit it pretty close to the mark. “Obviously fabricated in an effort to discredit me and tarnish my good name.” He shifted in his seat again, showing a measure of discomfort. “Why, my crew loves me!” He gestured to the men in question who were arranged around the room, half of whom were drunk to the point of unconsciousness and the other half of whom were glaring at Uriah with palpable hatred.
“But what’s a pirate without a ship?” She asked in mock confusion.
“Just a man.” Dom answered for her, without missing a beat. “Just a tiny human man, hiding in the trees because he’s afraid.”
“Smuggling is smuggling, whether in a cart or in a ship.” Uriah told them bluntly, rising to his feet and leaning over the table. He pointed at them, arguing his own capabilities. “I can get you to the…”
His prisoner coughed twice.
Uriah paused and shifted his boot again, producing a jingling sound.
His prisoner’s chair squeaked.
Uriah seemed to consider something for a moment. “Really?” He began to smile as if finding something amusing. “Ah, yes.” He sat back down in the booth. “I see what you’re doing.” He pointed at them, casually placing his pet on the table in front of him. “Dinner, let me talk to these people for a moment, yes?” He pointed towards the bar area and gave a shrill whistle.
The strange feathered cat-bird thing got the message and ran off.
Uriah watched them quietly for several minutes. “You think I’m a deranged idiot.” He informed them.
“Certainly.” Dom agreed immediately.
Taylor tried to laugh that off, as if it was a joke. “Ha! No, no. Don’t listen to him. We have only the…”
“No, no. Don’t put words into his mouth.” Uriah pointed at Dom. “I appreciate a man who can look a liar in the face and tell the truth. I have the upmost respect for people who have no respect for other people.” He brightened. “They remind me of me.”
“Well, I don’t like you.” Dom informed him bluntly. “At all.”
“Certainly.” Uriah nodded in understanding, echoing Dom’s earlier word choice. “But again, I’d be willing to bet that you don’t like yourself overly much either, now do you? Which proves my point.”
Dom was silent.
Uriah ate another peanut and casually threw the shell aside. “I have three rules,” he began ticking them off on his fingers, “1. What I take, I keep. 2. No one kills my crew but me. 3. Coffee should always be served after dessert. It’s a necessary element of the meal, particularly if there is chocolate involved.”
Taylor blinked at him in confusion for a moment, trying to make sense of that. “So… you’ll help us then?”
“Would I have to go into the capital?” The pirate asked. “Because I don’t like fighting armies. I find killing that many people who are wearing the same thing to be monotonous.”
“Fine… just get us to the Crossroads then. We can meet up with the king’s forces stationed there and get the rest of your money.” She promised quickly. “Take us to the Crossroads, then everything after that is on us.”
He chewed thoughtfully on the peanut, then stomped a boot onto the floor, producing a loud jingle sound from the spur and pounded his fist down onto the table.
The tavern fell into momentary silence.
“Is his skin burned?” His prisoner murmured, her voice barely a hoarse whisper.
Taylor’s head whipped around to look at the woman in amazement, surprised that she could speak or would risk her captor’s wrath by talking to them. Uriah looked far less shocked by that fact and absently glanced at Dom for a moment and then back at the scarred woman. “Yes.”
“Help them.” His partner told him simply.
He faced them again. “I have considered the matter and have decided to help you.” He declared immediately, making a flourish with his hand as if bowing. “I will assist you in your little predicament. Have no fear, be you starving, useless or giant, your troubles are now solved. I will protect you with my life… until such time as it becomes unprofitable for me to do so.” He flashed his amused, mocking smile again. “After all, I simply have to assist a fellow expatriate of ‘the Grizz,’ right?”
Chapter Nine
Buggane hated being made to wait.
He had been forced to wait for everything in his life. He had waited until he was old enough to leave that cursed village and take his place in society. He had waited to be put in charge of his squad. He had waited until someone recognized his natural greatness and gave him a mere fraction of the power he deserved.
But all of that had taken too long.
And one day, he had just realized that he didn’t feel like waiting anymore and that the idiots of this stupid kingdom were never going to give him the respect which was his due, by birth and achievement. As such, he’d been forced to look elsewhere.
If Cormoran didn’t appreciate him, then perhaps Baseland
would. As such, he had made overtures to the opposing army and been received with open arms. He had been carefully working behind the scenes to ensure their success, and it had all gone splendidly.
Sadly, his new benefactors were currently not nearly as happy with him as they had once been.
At the moment, he was meeting with his “commander”— which was just stupid, since no woman would ever command him— and the silly girl was angry that he had allowed Taylor and her idiot brother to escape.
He tried not to roll his eyes. Women were so emotional. That’s why they could never be true leaders and were better suited for the home. But instead, Buggane had to stand here and be yelled at by some woman, who was obviously only bitter that she couldn’t find a husband and was taking that out on the finest man in the kingdom.
The bitter frigid woman in question pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, please stop me if I’m mistaking your words in any way, but it sounds like you’re saying that your soldiers have run off with my weapon, am I correct in that thinking?”
He nodded.
Goldilocks, the Demon’s Fist. Or ‘The Golden Bitch,’ depending on who you asked. Commander of her father’s armies to the south and his oldest daughter. Exactly what she was doing here was anyone’s guess though, since Cormoran was to the south-east of Baseland. She shouldn’t be here.
Knowing women, she was probably just lost.
The girl had a reputation for cruel yet unimpeachably brilliant military action though, and was rumored to be the most unpleasant of Midas’ children. Cold, driven, mean and with an unbroken string of seemingly miraculous victories to her credit, she was one of the true military geniuses created by the endless War of Gold and Silver.
Wearing a golden breastplate with a matching pteruges military skirt of embossed leather strips, and with a head full of sausage curls which glittered with golden flecks, the woman was instantly recognizable. Which was unfortunate since as far as Buggane knew, she was also universally hated everywhere. Even by her own people. Her older brother was at least respected by his soldiers, and her younger sister was reportedly feebleminded, but Goldilocks engendered nothing but fear and hate from everyone. She took chances in battle that mystified those around her, especially since despite all military logic, her strategies always worked out for her. Her men detested her, but they followed her command because she brought them glory… and because her father was a demented and terrifying monster who paid their salaries and haunted their nightmares.
One day soon however, the girl’s unbelievable luck in warfare would run out and she’d get what was coming to her. She’d fight a real warrior and one of her silly little tricks would fail in battle… and once that happened, not even her daddy’s money and power could keep her from being gang-raped by the thousands of very angry soldiers under her command. She was one loss away from a very messy and very painful night.
And she had to realize that.
Even the people of her own kingdom were almost eager to see it happen. They all wanted her to fail, even if it meant they’d lose a battle. She’d had too much success and had made too many enemies in the process. People were waiting for her to get knocked down a few pegs and were willing to make personal sacrifices to see it happen.
And the stench of impending and long-awaited failure hung over the woman like a cloud. Every battle and every engagement, the world held its breath, hoping that this time the bitch’s hubris and guile would be rewarded with defeat and humiliation. That this time, she’d fight someone who would give her exactly what she deserved and who could show her what she was.
But as of yet, the Golden Bitch was undefeated. She had taken the ill-equipped rejects of her father’s forces and had somehow used them to absolutely walk through half the armies of the world. And in the process, she’d personally slaughtered three kings, five princes, two warlords and a princess in hand-to-hand combat.
And she’d done it without so much as breaking a fucking fingernail.
She was some kind of savant at death and war, appearing out of nowhere and demolishing everyone sent against her.
And if that old bastard Midas ever died, there was no question as to who would fill the void left by the Demon of the Gold. The woman would cut through her siblings in a heartbeat to seize control of the Demon’s new empire. And once that happened, Baseland would be absolutely unstoppable.
And everyone knew that. Four different assassins had tried to kill the girl this year alone, just to eliminate the mere possibility of her seizing control of her father’s kingdom.
But she’d slaughtered those professional killers too, leaving their bodies for the crows.
So no one would really shed a tear if she got herself raped to death by her soldiers now. In fact, most of the world would buy tickets to witness the event, if not enthusiastically join in the festivities. The House of Midas wasn’t too popular with anyone and being the least popular member of that family was really saying something.
It took a special kind of girl to be less popular than a man nicknamed “The Demon.”
That was what came from allowing women into positions of power in the first place. Their bodies were incapable of dealing with the stress. They needed men to show them their true place and what their bodies were really for.
The silly little girl playing soldier in her daddy’s army began to pace in front of him. “When my Great King paid you, He was under the impression that you could control your own soldiers and would allow us to reach the capital without major incident. And yet, you have failed in that regard. Which makes Him mistaken.” She shook her head, eyes flashing dangerously. “And He does not like to be mistaken.”
Buggane could sense that things were about to get bad for him. He was not a stupid man, and he well knew the stories of the kinds of things Midas did to people who disappointed him. “He’s not.” He instantly told the girl. “He’s not mistaken about me.”
“Oh, good.” She heaved a theatrical sigh of relief. “So… you admit you lied then?”
“Wait…” He shook his head. “No, no! I didn’t…”
“You can’t have it both ways!” She interrupted. “Either my Great King was mistaken or you lied.” She pointed at him with one golden fingernail. “Which is it!?!”
Buggane suddenly had the impulse to just bend the bitch over and show her how he could take ‘both ways’ with her if he wished. Probably do the little whore some good, in fact. Women had no business being soldiers, anyway. Their only use on the battlefield was helping the male soldiers to blow off some steam by literally blowing them. That was it. The woman’s frustration doubtlessly had to do with the fact that she hadn’t been really fucked in too long. Sure, she might struggle, but once he was finished, she’d probably be grateful.
“I will get them back.” Buggane finally offered, sidestepping the question and returning to the central issue. “I will show our Great King that He was right, as always, when He put His faith in me.”
That appeared to please the glittering harpy for the moment and she turned to her associates.
At the moment, they were standing in the burned-out wreckage of some dull little village on the river road. Frankly, Buggane was getting sick of being in so dirty a spot. He’d never liked the outlying areas of the kingdom, they reminded him of his home, a memory he’d just as soon forget.
All of the villages looked alike. The quicker he was in the capital, the better. He’d march through its streets like a conquering hero and would be welcomed as such by his people.
And then he could show the Golden Bitch exactly what her use was. Taylor too.
His cock would give their lives real meaning.
Until then though, he had to pretend to be a team player and serve the snotty bitch’s “Great King.”
The world would soon have just one great king and his name sure wasn’t “Midas.”
She turned to look at another one of her entourage and Buggane took the opportunity to admire the woman’s ass, imagining what it woul
d look like once he took that armored skirt off of her and chained her up to his new throne next to Taylor. Naked. Oh, what a powerful symbol that would be for his new reign. To turn the Demon of Gold’s precious little girl into his whore and make sure everyone could see her humiliation and watch the things he did to her? There would be nothing for morale and his own reputation quite like allowing his subjects to watch their enemy’s greatest tactician and most successful general sucking his regal cock.
Eagerly.
He’d piss in her face and make her thank him afterwards.
Talk about fun ways to increase national pride! He’d have to start turning away hopeful travelers from his borders, simply because he’d have no lands left to sell them.
Oh, yes. That was going to be his first act as king of Cormoran. Then he’d destroy Midas and make his own alliance with the Southern Isles, using their navy and his own genius to swiftly annihilate the other kingdoms of the world. And then, when all was said and done, Buggane would be the winner of The War of Gold and Silver. The last man standing. He would have accomplished what so many had died trying to achieve.
He would be the one true king of this world.
“Which way?” His future concubine asked her underling, who was crouched in the road at her feet.
Travels With a Fairytale Monster Page 13
