I frown, clutching my purse in front of me. “I didn’t get an email.”
He tilts his glass in his hand, slashing his brows. “I didn’t think I would have to send one. Then I saw you weren’t home and assumed you had plans.”
“I do have plans.”
He nods as I approach, the exchange putting me on edge. Even in casual clothes, he’s intimidating.
“Is there something that you wanted?”
He sips his drink and clears his throat as I hit the landing.
“I wanted to be the one to tell you that the plant is getting an upgraded AC system today, and I’ve looked into your other concerns, and it’s been handled. Accounting will be handing out additional checks this coming pay period.”
“Thank you,” I say warily. There’s clear hesitation in his posture as he looks down at me. He stands a little over six-foot, but he might as well be a skyscraper.
“It’s clear you’ve adjusted here, and unless you have any objections, I’ll be staying at the condo.” His eyes implore mine, and I swear I see a glimmer of hope for an objection, but it’s way too late.
“No objections. Is that all?”
With a nod, his eyes drop, and he steps away, giving me a lot more space than I need to get past him. I’m grateful for it and make it halfway across the foyer when he speaks up.
“Don’t make her mistakes.”
I turn back and catch a glimpse of him over my shoulder. “Sir?”
“Who better to warn you than her biggest one.” He tips his glass back, draining it, his deep-sea eyes meeting mine once more before he strides into his office and closes the door.
CLAD IN MY NEW FAVORITE sundress, I sit on the counter in the kitchen, my carefully prepared barbecue ice cold as I turn the page of my latest novel. Hours after our planned date, the roar of Sean’s Nova goes silent a minute before he enters the house. Not taking my eyes off the book, I lift a piece of lukewarm watermelon to my mouth as he stands at the entrance of the kitchen, gauging my mood and watching me nibble the sweet fruit. After a long stretch of silence, I finally speak up.
“Explain yourself, Roberts,” I mutter between bites, glancing over the top of the book, my feet swinging beneath me.
He eyes the cover. 1984.
“I love that you’re reading that, instead of your usual.”
I flip the page and try to take one from Dominic’s playbook, my voice considerably cooler when I reply. “Don’t knock romance books. From the last one I read, I learned how to play a solitary card game, snagged the barbecue recipe I cooked today, and discovered how to bring myself to a proper orgasm, which means I can do all three without you. This makes me fully capable of entertaining myself. Coming here, in this dress, and cooking for you was a decision, and like all decisions, it was optional.”
His growing smile is infuriating.
“You look beautiful.”
I bite into another piece of watermelon, setting the book down and raise my hostile gaze to him as he saunters toward me, looking delicious in a white tee and dark denim. Cedar and sunshine encase me where I sit as he leans in for a bite. I jerk the fruit out of reach. “Get your own.”
“I want yours.”
“Tough shit. Mine was ready six hours ago.”
He sighs, clear fatigue in his posture. “All I want right now is a bite of that watermelon and to get inside my woman as soon as possible.”
“Not happening.”
Frowning, he eases back before turning and fishing a beer out of the fridge. “I got tied up. And you know I didn’t have my phone.”
“Which is bullshit.”
He shakes his head. “No, what’s bullshit is that you think Big Brother is just the name of a TV show.”
“Are you really doing this right now? You’re going to twist this to lecture me?”
His eyes flare with warning as I widen mine. “Big Brother is watching, I know, Sean. I know.” I roll my eyes. “You’re so paranoid.”
He takes a long sip of beer and shakes his head ironically. “No, I’m cautious,” he declares softly. “And being arrogant will only get us caught.”
“You don’t think you’re being a little ridiculous?” I eye the book and lift it. “You don’t think this is a little farfetched?”
“It’s fiction, so sure, it’s farfetched,” he snaps, full of sarcasm as his jaw sets in a hard line. “No, in-depth or massive brainwashing of that magnitude could ever come to fruition in real life, right? Except for, you know, that minor incident we named The Holocaust where millions were executed at the hands of a fucking madman.”
“You know what I mean. This is Triple Falls, Sean, not Nazi-occupied Germany.”
“No, I don’t. And what’s ridiculous is that you need to see to believe.”
“Excuse me if I think the government has more important things to do than tap you.”
He gives me a dead stare. “Everyone is tapped. Everyone. Every single conversation on every fucking device is being recorded by the government, period. And maybe it would be ridiculous if I was Joe Schmo, and my only crime was recording a home porno with my wife’s best friend. Shit no one cares about, except for my wife. But you do know better.” He narrows his eyes. “Ever have a face to face discussion with someone just before seeing an ad for it in your newsfeed?”
I bite my cheek.
“Exactly. That should be all the proof that anyone with something to hide needs to see to think of technology as a threat. No one is safe. Our information is sold regularly for no other reason than our need for consumption. We’re all locusts at this point. But that’s only half of it. Our digital fingerprints include a lot more than what we buy, and what we’re being sold for, they are fucking markers. So, what’s ridiculous, Cecelia, is that you need to see it to believe it.”
“Whatever,” I bound off the counter. “Gotta admit, it’s the perfect excuse though, isn’t it? ‘I’m a secret agent man,’ yadda, yadda. Dinner is in the fridge. I’m going to bed.”
The coolness in his voice stops my retreat. “You’re being awfully fucking flippant about something that means a great deal to me and to Dom. This point, in particular, has been explained to you over and over in painstaking detail. And if you think I’m so fucking crazy, if you refuse so much to believe in what I do, why the hell are you sticking around?”
I swallow at the lividity in his tone. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just…”
“You’re so quick to point out what a goddamned idiot you think I am. Do you know what happens if I’m right?” His voice shakes with anger. “Do you know what happens to caged birds?” I’ve never seen him so pissed, and I don’t congratulate myself for being granted the fight I’ve picked.
Nerves firing off, I twist my hands in front of me. “Sean, I think you’re brilliant, but—”
“I’m not a fucking schizophrenic, Cecelia. These are Dominic’s rules too. You think he’s ridiculous? What about Tyler? Is he ridiculous? Have you turned on the fucking news lately? How much do you need to see to believe?!”
“No, I just—”
“Everything I do has a reason behind it. I’ve explained that over and over and tonight, what I was doing was equally as important as what I did yesterday and the day before that.”
“Sean,” I take a step forward, hating the glare in his eyes, it’s the first time it’s ever been directed at me. He crosses his arms, cutting me off from getting closer.
“It’s just… I spent half a damn day cooking for you. The least you could do was give me a real apology.”
“Oh yeah, this is about the dinner I missed, right?” He spins, jerking open the fridge and grabs his plate. He rips off the foil and snatches a fork from the drawer before shoveling barbecue into his mouth. “It’s delicious, you happy?” Tears gather in my eyes as he tosses the plate across the kitchen and it shatters in the sink.
It’s then I realize how weak my argument is, and he looks me over, shaking his head in disappointment. “I thought yo
u believed in me. You’re getting a lot better at lying.”
“You know I do.” I step forward and he jerks away from my touch, peering down at me with cold eyes, his face resolute. “If we’re going to continue to fight about trust, maybe we should table this.”
“What?” It’s physical, the way every word strikes me. I feel every violent blow down to my freshly painted toes.
“Us. Table this. We should break.”
“You mean break up?” Tears fill my eyes instantly. It’s at that moment that I realize how deeply I love him.
He’s dumping me because I’m throwing a fit.
At this point, it’s deserved. I went too far and insulted him in a way I can’t take back. I have zero defense.
“Yeah, I mean break up.” He eyes me from where he stands, his tone unforgiving.
“D-d-don’t do that, don’t do that, I was angry.”
“Doesn’t matter. Anger isn’t an excuse. I can’t have someone around me who doesn’t believe in me and what I’m doing. It was a gamble with you, and it’s clear to me now that you’re too young.”
“Don’t, Sean, don’t. You know I-I believe you.”
“No, you don’t,” he snaps. “Not in the way you need to. Go home, Cecelia. We’re done.”
“I’m not trying to manipulate or belittle you, Sean! I was scared! I didn’t know if something had happened to you!” Hot tears gather and fall down my cheeks as he stands feet away, though it might as well be an ocean. “You’ve been distracted lately, and I-I just miss you…Please take it back.”
He grabs his beer from the counter, tossing it back, his face void of emotion. He’s shutting me out.
I refuse to believe it’s over. There’s too much between us. And I wasted so much time not admitting it. Terrified it might be my first, and last time, I bare myself completely.
“I love you,” I whisper through a blur of tears. “And I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I got upset sitting here for hours romanticizing how I would say this to you, and that it would matter. Instead of admitting it, I got angry and said stupid things I didn’t mean. I t-trust you. I believe so much in what you’re doing. I think you’re brilliant.”
He darts his eyes away and slams his beer on the counter, the suds spilling over the bottle.
“I-I’m sorry. I’ll go.” Sliding on my sandals, I grab my purse from the table, my eyes sting as I try to hold myself together long enough to make it to my car. I make it just past the staircase to the entryway before I feel his chest at my back. A cry escapes me as he flips me around and cups my chin, lifting my eyes to his.
“I take it back.”
I burst in his arms, my sobs coming out in a rush as he pulls me to him leaving no space between us.
“I’m so sorry, baby. Fuck, I regretted it the minute I said it.” He wraps strong arms around me. “You’re fucking crazier than you’re acting if you think I want to spend a minute away from you. I missed you too. Today was bad, and fuck, I’m sorry. You look so beautiful.”
Hiccups consume me as I tearfully try to speak, and he wipes at my face.
“Shit, shit, I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I hate the idea of waking up and not hearing about your dreams in the morning. Hey, hey,” he whispers softly, “baby, please stop crying. You’re killing me. You mean so much to me, so much more than I ever thought possible,” he murmurs. “So much more.”
He pulls the purse from my shoulder and grips me tightly to him, my chin trembling as my heart slams against my chest.
“I-I j-just, I love you,” I murmur into his neck and he pulls back, staring at me, drinking the emotions sliding down my face.
“I know, and it’s ruining me,” he whispers, thumbing my cheeks. “Rest assured. I’m going to make sure you know just how fucking much it matters to me.” He lifts me easily and carries me back into the kitchen, setting me on the counter. “But first, I will have my watermelon.”
I smile. It’s not at all what I expected to hear, but it’s Sean, and so it’s perfect. He adjusts me to wrap around him as I sniff into his shoulder, ruining his T-shirt. It’s when I inhale his scent that I bury my face in his chest, unable to fully muffle my sob.
“Don’t cry, baby. Please stop, fuck,” he hangs his head, “this hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” I say through a snot-filled nose, looking over at him. “It’s just. You smell like wood.”
He cracks a smile a mile wide and chuckles. “What?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you that. You smell like wood, like cedar and sunshine and I love the way you smell, and I would hate it if I couldn’t smell you anymore. And I do take you ser-ser-seriously.”
He stares down at me, his eyes full of affection as my breath starts to hitch in a way that lets me know I just ugly cried.
“It was just a fight.”
“You cut me back,” I say, my breath hitching making me do that involuntary head and chest twitch. I’m humiliated I’m reacting this way. “And it hurt. But I deserved it.”
“Maybe, but I’m still going to make it up to you,” he assures, grabbing a slice of watermelon. He takes a bite and offers it to me as I sniffle and turn my head. “I’m good.”
He takes another bite and repeats his offering, and I shake my head, denying him. By his third slice, we’re sharing while I start to come down from the most excruciating emotional high.
“I went girl on you,” I admit, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
“Yeah, well, I went raging dick on you, so we’re even.”
I palm his jaw. “I’m sorry, Sean.”
“Me too, baby.”
He presses the watermelon to my lips, and I bite into the juice-laden fruit. He licks the remnants of tears along with juice off my face before he pulls me into a deep kiss. “Sorry about the fireworks.”
“I don’t care about the stupid fireworks. Just…” my breath hitches again and I can see it pains him. “Just don’t forget about me while you’re out saving the world.”
“Impossible.”
I look over at him imploringly. “I need you to believe me. Because I do believe in you, Sean. So much. I saw my father today, and I think he was trying to bridge the gap, and all I could think was that I don’t respect him enough to try. No matter what excuses he gives. I don’t respect him. And then I thought about you, and I realized I have this respect for you that I’ve never had for any man in my life. I want you to know,” I exhale a shuddering breath as my eyes water, “that. I need you to know that.”
He tosses his watermelon and palms my face, holding my gaze for long seconds before he presses the gentlest of kisses to my lips. He pulls away slightly so our foreheads touch. “What do you say we make up now?”
“I thought we did.”
“We did, but this, right here, this is the best part,” he captures my mouth in a deep kiss. Sinking into it, our tongues dance as I start to lift his shirt, my breath hitching against his mouth, disrupting our kiss.
“Baby,” he murmurs, biting his lip and running gentle knuckles across my chin as he gazes over at me. Then he dips, his descent slow and deliberate before he again presses his lips to mine. Leisurely, he slips the straps of my dress down before lowering the material to free my breasts. Nipples tight, he runs a rough, warm hand along the whole of my chest. Following his pace, I unhook the button of his jeans and unzip him, pulling his ready cock free. Eyes locked, I pump him in my hand as he fishes a condom from his wallet, before he crushes my mouth with another consuming kiss. Positioning me, he pulls me to the edge of the counter before rolling the condom on. Pressing his forehead to mine, eyes cast down, we collectively watch as he slowly pushes into me.
“Sean,” I rasp out as he exhales a pleasured breath.
Emotions zing between us as his hands flatten me to the counter while the rest of the forgotten watermelon slides to the floor. His strokes are deep, his eyes full of love, as his sticky hands palm my breasts trailing down my new dress. It was worth every penny.
TYLER EXITS HIS TRUCK WHEN he spots me pulling up, that natural swagger of his greeting me at my driver’s side door.
“Hey, beautiful.” His dimple appears, and I drink in the sight of him. He’s let his hair grow a little longer since I met him, only adding to his appeal. It lies in a mess of short waves on his head. His rich brown eyes sweep me as he pulls me into a friendly hug.
“Hey, you, thanks for meeting me.”
“No problem. What’s with all the secrecy?” He nods, scanning the parking lot of the shopping center.
“I thought secrecy was the name of this game, which is why I need your help.”
“Yeah?” Another shot of dimple. He truly is a beautiful man. In the short time I’ve known him, he’s presented himself in a way where I’m convinced his beauty runs well past skin and bone structure.
“Yeah, but it might get you into trouble, if we’re caught.”
He cups my shoulders and leans in. “Did you forget I’m the problem solver?”
“That’s why I need you. You’re the only man for the job.”
His smile widens. “Well, before we go in, you should know, I also love trouble.”
“You’re right,” Tyler scopes out the house with trepidation from where we sit parked in the driveway before turning to me. “He won’t like this.”
He again peeks at the house and sighs before hopping out of his truck, gathering bags of the supplies we’d picked up at the store. Once I’d let him in on what we were doing mid-trip, he went quiet.
“That’s why it’s our secret,” I fill my hands with another half dozen bags, weighing his expression. He clearly doesn’t want to be here. “Sorry, I guess I could’ve just asked for her address.”
“It’s fine,” he says, his arms and shoulders bulging from the weight he’s carrying before he nudges me forward. “Let’s do this.”
We head up the porch past a few neglected plants, anticipatory nerves seeming to fire off between us. I steady the brute Marine next to me, whose posture is braced in a way that makes me squeamish. Was this really that bad of an idea?
Flock Page 25
