by Anne Mercier
“Lucy, my love—” Lucian begins.
“Touch my wife, Cordero, and they’ll need a stretcher to haul you out of here,” Jesse tells him.
Lucian laughs and Lucy rolls her eyes.
“How are you, Lucian? Ready for this?” she asks.
He nods. “I’m well, and I’m more than ready.”
Heavy footsteps and raucous laughter head our way and, sweet mother of fuck, it’s the rest of Burners. Justin, Kael, Gage, and Mack. I can’t look away. They’re too sexy. They’re rugged and rowdy, tatted and pierced rockers with chiseled bodies and model-perfect faces.
I know my mouth is hanging open, but wow. I know they’re bad boys, every one of them, but that’s not going to stop me from admiring them.
Sera snickers at me. “Mesmerizing, aren’t they?”
I can’t answer. I just nod.
“Snap out of it or their heads will get even bigger than they already are,” Sera teases.
“It’s just…”
“Oh, trust me, I know all about ‘It’s just’.”
I blink rapidly, snapping out of it then blushing when I realize I acted just like a groupie would.
“I swear I’m not a groupie,” I tell Sera.
Sera nods. “I know. Groupies wouldn’t stop at just a look.”
“Ugh,” I say, curling my lip. How well I know that’s true.
“That about sums it up.”
“And who’s this pretty girl?” Justin asks, smiling at Kadence.
“This is my daughter, Kadence,” Jace answers.
“Kadi,” the little pixie corrects.
“Hello there, Princess Kadi. I’m Justin.”
She holds out her hand to him and he lifts it to his lips. She giggles. “Pleasure to meetcha,” she replies and I can’t help but laugh. This girl. She is definitely something else.
“I am absolutely enchanted by her,” Sera admits.
I nod. “Me as well.”
“And are you as enchanted by her father?” Sera probes.
I look over at her with a smirk. “That’s not why I’m here.”
“And that’s not an answer. But I’ll accept that… for now,” Sera tells me.
When all the members of Burners are playing and flirting with Kadi, I wish I’d had a fan handy.
“Good grief,” I mutter. “This much testosterone, rugged handsomeness, and sex appeal shouldn’t be allowed in one room.”
Jace looks over at me and I realize I said that out loud. The others look at me with sexy grins. Every one of them.
Oh boy.
“Well, well, who do we have here?” Mack asks.
“I’m Summer Stephens.”
He reaches out to shake my hand until Jace informs him, “She’s the social worker.”
Mack’s warm smile goes cold and he drops his hand so fast you’d think he’d been burned.
I hear multiple muttered “social worker” and looks of disgust. It’s exactly what I expected, but that doesn’t make it any easier to take.
“Gentle giant!” Kadi calls out, reaching for Cage. He takes her gently from Jace’s arms.
“Let’s get started,” Cage directs.
Mafia ties or not, this man has a connection to Kadi and it's one that can't be denied. My previous opinion is retracted. Cage Nichols is a good person for Kadi to be around.
All the members of Blush, Lucian, and Jesse head into the booth.
“What’s going on?” I ask Jace as he stands next to me.
“They’re recording a new single,” he informs me.
My brow furrows in confusion. My dad and his band do each part separately. Each instrument, each singer, yet they’re all in there together. “Don’t they usually record separately?”
Jace lifts a brow. “Mostly, but Lucy likes to do everything together if we can manage it.”
I nod. “Interesting approach. Why aren't you in there?"
He looks to Kadi. "Ethan's filling in for me."
“You know about recording music?” he asks.
I shrug. “Some,” I hedge because there’s no way I’m going to tell him how I know everything there is to know about music. I can feel him staring at me, trying to figure me out. That’s not going to happen.
Cage comes over with Kadi.
“Do you mind if I take Kadi over to the table to color?” I ask Jace.
“I don’t mind,” he replies coldly.
I sigh inwardly. This is the part I hate about my job. There’s no reason for the parents to dislike me for doing my job. I’m only looking out for the welfare of the child. If they have nothing to hide, they shouldn’t be worried—or angry.
“What do you say, Kadi? Would you like to color some rainbows and unicorns?” I ask, having just searched for and printed off some coloring images specifically for Kadence. It’s not something I do for everyone and I know I shouldn’t be giving her special treatment but I can’t help myself. She’s so sweet and jubilant.
The song is fast and very, very metal, yet sensual and, somehow, sad, as Jesse, Lucy, and Lucian sing about a love triangle where one is left out in the rain while the other two celebrate their love.
Just, wow. That’s for sure going to be number one. They go through it so many times I lose count, changing this note, this riff, the beat here. They’re incredible.
Now they’re taking a break and the rest of Burners heads into the booth to screw around. They start playing one of their most popular songs and Nicole starts dancing, looking very much like the Blush Baby I remember seeing on stage.
Yes, I saw them on stage. More than once. Jace only knows about the one time so we’ll keep that on the down low.
Kadi sets her crayon down, toes off her shoes, and starts dancing unlike any six year old I’ve ever seen.
They all notice, but no one says a word and Jace tells the band to keep playing.
She’s amazing. She dances so much better than I do. I nearly laugh at the thought. She stops and walks over to Jace, jumping and smiling as he praises her.
“My mommy’s a dancer. She teached me how,” Kadi announces.
“Do you know ballet like your mommy, pumpkin?” Jace asks.
She nods, her pigtails bobbing up and down.
“Anyone got any—” Jace begins only to be cut off by Kennedy’s phone playing something classical. Don’t ask me what, because I couldn’t tell you.
“Start over, silly,” Kadi scolds. “I wasn’t on my mark.”
“Sorry,” Kennedy apologizes with a smirk and does as she asks. Then we see beauty and grace as Kadence dances. I watch as Nicole stands next to Kadi and begins performing the same number. It must be one a lot of people know, I assume.
They twirl, flex their toes, hold their arms over their heads while they twirl some more. They jump and kick and whirl. Watching them is watching art.
When the music stops, Kadi squeals at Nicole and hugs her.
“What was that?” Jace asks.
Nicole looks up, admiration and a hint of sadness in her eyes. “Your wife must have been magnificent. That was The Dying Swan from Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake,” she tells him softly.
Jace swallows hard and nods as the others murmur praise to Kadi and Nicole. When Xander turns on some Bieber, Kadi screams at the top of her lungs and starts dancing what I can only think of as hip hop. She dances with a swagger in her step over to Xander, then holds out her hand. He reaches to shake it and she does the fake out and brushes back her hair.
Everyone starts snickering and Kadi keeps on entertaining. I walk over to where Cage and Sera are standing. “Did you know she could dance like that?”
Sera shakes her head. “There was a note that Kadi was a dancer, but I think if Jace had known the extent of it, he’d have had her in lessons by now.”
I nod. “I wonder why her mother didn’t let him know about this,” I say with a smile and a sweep of my hand, indicating Kadi doing some 80s break dance moves.
Sera smiles sadly. “She might have. She left
letters for Jace, but he’s only been able to open two so far.”
“I imagine that’s a lot to manage emotionally,” I admit, wondering not for the first time about Jace’s first love and Kadence’s mother.
“He’s trying to hold it together and so far he’s managing pretty well, but he hasn’t grieved much and until he does, it’s not going to get any easier,” Cage informs me.
I nod. “Has she? Grieved, I mean?”
Sera shakes her head, biting her lip.
That’s not going to be fun because I have a feeling that this little girl will grieve as she does everything else: With her whole self.
The music stops and Kadi runs up to her dad. He lifts her, holding her over his head and spinning, as his little girl lets out a delighted laugh.
“I think I’ve seen enough for today and I have another appointment at one thirty. I’m going to grab some lunch before then.” I pick up my briefcase. “Thank you all for being so cooperative. And thank you Miss Kadence for the lovely dances.”
Kadi reaches out and hugs me and I fight the emotions that have been welling in my chest and threatening to overwhelm me. Sympathy. Compassion. Adoration.
“Thank you, Miss Summer.”
“I’ll contact you soon,” I tell Jace and he nods once.
I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I repeat the mantra as I step up my pace, walking to my car one of the Russo Security men drove over. When I finally reach it, I don’t even hesitate as I normally would to let some of the overwhelming heat out. I slide in, turn the key in the ignition, the AC blasting, and I rest my head on the steering wheel.
This is becoming a habit. One I can’t keep. I can’t afford to—emotionally.
I manage to hold the tears at bay as I breathe deeply, chastising myself for being such an idiot.
What are you doing, Summer? He's a client. He's a rockstar! You know all about rockers, remember what they're like? Their groupies parading around in various states of undress, some completely naked and getting fucked on a pool table or sofa. Others sucking one of their cocks simply to say they sucked a rockstar's cock.
I remember. I remember all too well. Some things a ten year old should not see.
There went my appetite, but my tummy rumbles anyway. It's hungry even if I'm not. I head back to the office to write my report and eat before heading to the Garza's. The devil knows I'm going to need all the strength I have to deal with that father. Yeah, the devil knows all too well what an evil SOB Mr. Garza is. I just need to be able to prove it, and by God I will. I vow it. I will get those kids out of there if it's the last thing I do.
14
Jace
I haven’t seen anyone dance like that since Sydney. Kadi moves exactly like her. My heart stuttered in my chest as my little girl moved with a poise and precision identical to her mother’s. The only difference is, Kadi’s six. Six. She dances like a fucking professional.
I’ve got to get her back in lessons. I’ll talk to Cage who, I’m sure, has connections with some big name who’ll continue teaching Kadi as Sydney had.
Someone starts singing to the melody of Tiny Dancer. I just shake my head. Here we go again.
Ballet lady, hip hop baby. She’s a dancer for the band.
Big blue eyes, contagious smile, her daddy’s a music man.
Ballerina, you should have seen her, dancing with Xan.
Now she’s in the, and a part of the, BFD tour, hell yeah.
Xander. Who else? Kadi giggles at him and I lift a brow.
“Dude, she could totally be our dancer baby when we go back out on tour,” Xan announces, lifting Kadi and doing a fast slow dance with her, turning in circles as she giggles some more.
“Her hearing, man,” Kennedy says.
“In-ear monitors, dude, just like we’ve got. If that’s not enough, put a noise-cancelling headset on her. Can’t you see her up there?” he asks.
I sigh. “I can,” I admit. “But when we’re singing about S-E-X and P-U-S-S-Y and drinking and getting H-I-G-H, you think that’s a good place for a little girl to be? You think that’s proper for her to represent that?”
Xan stops for a minute. “Hmm. So just have her dance for the cleaner songs.”
“You fu—suckers don’t have any clean songs,” I remind him.
Jesse chuckles. “He’s got you there.”
“You do, though. And we can add something to the lineup that can be combined between the two bands. Cover songs—clean covers,” Xan tosses out there.
I sigh again. “Let’s see how things go between now and then. If things are good, we’ll form a plan.”
“Hell yes!” Xander shouts, bouncing Kadi, who’s now frowning.
“You sweared, Xan Man,” she chides.
“Da—darn. I sure did, didn’t I?” he asks.
She nods, her bottom lip poking out. “You need to pay the jar at home.”
“I’ve got a pocket full of change,” he tells her and jingles his front pocket. “How much do we have to pay the jar?”
“A dollar for the F word and fifty cents for the other words,” she declares and the room full of cursing rockstars groans.
“That’s going to finance all the kids’ college funds,” Kennedy says with a shake of his head.
“True that," I agree.
When we’re finished and back at CFD, we grab some lunch and then Kadi’s out cold. I put her in her bed for a nap and head back out to the patio.
“Cage,” I begin.
He looks over as I take a seat in the chair beside his.
“Do you know anyone who either knows or knows someone who knows someone reliable and good, really good, to keep teaching Kadi dance?” I ask.
“I’ve already got a call in. As soon as I hear back, I’ll get everything set up for you,” he tells me, then takes a drink of his iced tea.
I shake my head and smirk. “Thanks isn’t enough for all you’ve done for me.”
“It’s more than enough. In fact, it’s not necessary,” Cage insists.
Sera leans forward. “That’s right. It’s what family does, right, Batman?”
He smirks slightly at the nickname and so do I.
“That’s right,” he agrees, then turns to me. “Anything. Anytime. I mean it.”
I nod and he nods back. The look in his eyes tells me not to thank him again, but I can’t promise him that. It’s all I have to offer the man who has everything.
“Jace?” Sera begins.
“Yeah.”
“You need to read those letters. I think you'd have known about Kadi’s dancing if you’d had read them already. I'm positive that's something Sydney wouldn't leave out,” she says softly.
The thought of reading the handwritten letters Sydney left for me has me panicking. I don’t want to see her handwriting. I don’t want to deal with the memories—the fucking feelings. The two letters I read ripped me apart.
I take a long pull from my beer then nod at Sera.
"I know it's not easy for you, Jacey, and if you need me there, I'll be there. Before, during, after—just ask. I'm a phone call away," she tells me.
"Thanks, Sera. I'll start tonight.”
Starting the letters is as difficult as I imagined, but set before me is a stack of envelopes with Sydney's writing on them. Each labeled so I know which letters to read now and which ones to read later.
There's also a stack for Kadence. I looked at some of the labels. First date. First kiss. First period. I cringed at all three. First day of high school. Graduation. First day of college. College graduation. Wedding day. First child. First tattoo—because I know you're going to want them being around the rockers.
I smirk at that.
I pour myself a scotch and take the letters to the chair I favor most. It has an amazing view of the city lights at night.
15
Sydney
My Dearest Jace,
A kind man helped me the day my water broke. He handed me a tissue to wipe my eyes and he hel
ped me to my feet. By then my pants were soaked and so were my socks and shoes. I was a disaster.
But this man walked up to me, told me his name was Tom, then asked me mine. I told him. Then he commanded me to stand up. I think if he’d been too soft about it, I would have told him to suck it. lol
The contractions came hard and fast so Tom helped me hobble into the doctor’s office. They called an ambulance and Tom waited with me. He let me squeeze his hand when I had contractions. I felt bad when he winced, but then another contraction would come and I thought he could suck it up. If I was in this much pain, he could deal with a weakling like me squeezing his hand, right?
He rode with me to the hospital, too. I don’t know how such a nice person happened upon me, but to this day I am so very grateful for Tom. I hadn’t finished my birthing classes so I had no idea what I was doing, but then again, neither did he.
Karen was supposed to be my birthing coach but she was at work and when they told me it could be a while, I didn’t want to have her come to the hospital and lose out on money just to sit around and wait.
True to her nature, Kadi came in like a wrecking ball. Less than four hours after my water broke, Kadence Jacey Warner came into this world with a very unhappy scream. She was healthy with ten fingers and ten toes. She weighed six pounds, four ounces and was nineteen inches long.
She was red and wrinkly and so pissed off at the world. She was beautiful. She’s ours.
Just as quickly as Tom came into my life, he disappeared. Whenever I think back to him, I remember his kind smile and patience. And flowers. He smelled like flowers. He said his wife loved flowers and that he was going to stop and pick up a bouquet for her since he’d missed their lunch date.
I think I was blessed that day, the day I met Karen, and the day Mrs. N stopped me in the hallway to rub my belly. I’ve put some photos in the envelope of me looking like a whale. Gross. But if I know you, you want to see and know everything. There are also multiple photo albums in the blue floral box. I know it’s not the same as seeing it all first hand, but it’s the best I have to offer. I hope it’ll be enough. I made sure to take photos of our baby girl every single day, so in addition to the albums you’ll find some memory cards.
