by Natavia
“Y’all wanna go to Joaney’s?” Baby Head Poo asked.
“I guess I can go. They fryin’ chicken tonight. Maybe we should ask Essa if she’s tryin’ to go,” I replied. Tinka picked up her phone and called Essa on speakerphone. Essa said she’d come out for a few hours. She was just like me, we wanted to go for the chicken.
“Hell, I’m dressed,” Baby Head Poo said.
She was wearing thin black leggings with polka dot panties underneath. She also had on a screen T-shirt with a jean jacket and on her feet were a pair of Vans. And, of course, she had rollers in her head. I refused to say anything because Baby Head Poo thought she was a fashion icon. She even thinks she created hair rollers.
“Let me shower then put some clothes on,” Tinka said and got up from the couch.
“Are you gonna tell her or you want me to?” Baby Head Poo asked after Tinka went into the bathroom.
“I’m not gonna say a word. Tinka is too old to take a shower after polishing her toe nails. She should’ve waited until they dried first.”
Baby Head Poo went into the kitchen to fix herself a drink. Since she was out the room, I called Mayor’s phone again, but it was off.
“Damn it!” I shouted and slammed the phone on the table.
“What happened?” Baby Head Poo asked.
“He’s not answerin’ the phone for me. I just want to make sure he’s not gettin’ into nothing that’ll get him locked up.”
“He just needs some alone time. Niggas are emotional, too. They’d rather hide then face their problems. This is why I fuck women most of the time,” she said.
“But you should’ve saw how sad he was. He wasn’t even mad like that. It was more about me keepin’ the pregnancy from him. I gotta stay strong about this though so I won’t crumble. I’ll get through this.”
“Yeah, cause we got your back,” she replied and I smiled. “I can always be your baby daddy if it doesn’t work out. I be checkin’ you out,” she said, licking her lips.
“You lucky we’re cool cause I’d beat your ass if we weren’t.”
Moments later, Tinka came out the back room dressed like she was in a Lil’ Kim video. She was wearing a red lace front wig with a red leather body suit and a small red fur coat. Her red feather slide-on kitten heels were squeezing her feet. Tinka was strutting around her apartment with a French accent.
“What in the bloody tampon do you have on?” Baby Head Poo asked Tinka.
“I have on clothes, peasant,” Tinka said in Jamaican accent that time.
“We’re just goin’ to Joaney’s, Tink.”
“And? I can’t look goodt for the ballers that’s gonna be there tonight? Shidddd, I got this from Rainbow Boutique. Y’all know I’m fittin’ to snag sumthin. Let’s roll out,” she said, grabbing her pink ice cream cone bag.
“Aight, but we have to get my ID from my father’s house before I pick up Essa,” I replied, grabbing my things. I put on my leopard print UGG boots with the matching cardigan sweater.
“What happened to your ID? I’m tryin’ to hurry up and get to Joaney’s,” Baby Head Poo said as we were leaving out of Tinka’s apartment.
“I lost it, so I have to get my spare one. Catch a cab if you can’t wait,” I replied. I handed Tinka the car keys because she wanted to drive.
“Cooley is buyin’ me one of these next week,” Tinka said when we got into my car.
“Girl, Cooley can’t even buy himself one. You’re gonna be waitin’ forever like how you’re waitin’ on him to stop wearin’ FUBU,” Baby Head Poo said.
“FUBU stands for, Fuck Up Bitches University. You keep playin’ wit’ me and I’m gonna slap some A’s on that ass,” Tinka said.
“What the A’s stand for, Tink?” I laughed.
“Ass whippin's. Poo is always talkin’ shit but can’t even wear an adult size helmet,” Tinka teased.
“You need to leave the head jokes alone. They’re gettin’ old,” Baby Head Poo said.
“Naw, what’s old is that Civil Left’s gun you’re carryin’ around,” Tinka said.
“Civil Rights, Tinka. Get it right,” I replied.
While her and Baby Head Poo argued on the way to my father’s house, I was texting Mayor. I missed him. Sleeping in the house at night was lonely. Too bad Essa and Governor weren’t talking because she probably could’ve found out where Mayor was hiding at.
We pulled up to my father’s house and the lights were off. It was Saturday night, so I figured he was out with my uncle Tim, Tinka’s father. They went out every Saturday night to skate. Tinka’s father lived in Philly and he wanted her to come with him when he moved from Maryland ten years prior but Tinka refused. So, my father pretty much raised us. Essa’s father was on drugs and couldn’t stay clean for two months.
“Is Dade and his mother inside? I need to use the bathroom,” Baby Head Poo said.
“I don’t know but we’ll see. Her car isn’t here,” I said, getting out.
Tinka waited in the car with the music blasting. Me and Baby Head Poo walked up the steps to the porch. I was astonished my key still worked since Roberta moved in and took over the family house. Baby Head Poo ran to the bathroom and I went upstairs to my old bedroom. I kept my personal things hidden underneath my bed in an old box. The night I left I was so mad I forgot to grab my things like my birth certificate and High School Diploma. My old bedroom was still the same and I breathed a sigh of relief that Dade didn’t take over my room. It would’ve crushed me because I had that room for years. I grabbed the box underneath my bed and opened it. Everything was still there, even a few bills I forgot I had. I was on my way back down the stairs when I heard moaning coming from my father’s bedroom. His car wasn’t outside, so I was more confused than ever. I was ready to turn and walk away, thinking it was Roberta watching TV, but I heard it again and it was another’s man voice.
Oh, hell nawl!
I barged into the master bedroom and was almost sick to my stomach. Roberta was sprawled out on the bed while one of the workers at the car wash was on top of her, giving her deep, strong strokes.
“GET OUT!” I yelled.
He pulled out of her and the condom was dangling off his third leg. I couldn’t think of his name, but he was new. Matter of fact, he was there on work release.
“Please don’t tell Henry about this,” he said.
“We were just exercising,” Roberta replied.
“Hoe shut the fuck up. I knew you didn’t care about my daddy. How long has this been goin’ on?” I asked the man.
“For about a month but I’m not the only one. She paid me five-hundred dollars to fuck her,” he said, getting dressed.
“Nigga get the fuck outta my father’s house and you’re fired!”
“Nawwww, mannnn. Don’t do me like this. I have to pay child support!” he said.
“Get out!” I replied and pushed him out the door. I heard him running down the stairs then out of the front door.
Roberta was lying in bed sweating and smoking a cigarette. She didn’t care that I caught her. She was actually smiling.
“Why are you in my house?”
“This isn’t your house! Get your shit and get out, Roberta. I swear I’ll get my homegirl to shoot your ass right now, bitch. You and your son need to go. Enough is enough. You used my daddy for his money and you had the nerve to waste it on guys that work for him? What kind of bitch are you? Aren’t you too old for this? Are you even pregnant?” I asked.
“This isn’t your business. You don’t belong here. Now get the fuck outta my house,” she said.
“This isn’t your house, Roberta. This will never be your house. I’m gonna tell my father exactly what you’ve been up to.”
“He’s so far up my ass he won’t believe you. Call and tell him. He knows how much you hate me and will do anything to destroy our relationship,” she said.
“Fine, you don’t want to leave. I’ll make you leave!”
I went into the closet and grabbed her clothes.
She got out of bed and grabbed her house coat. I heard Baby Head Poo come out the bathroom and I called her upstairs. She came into the bedroom and looked around while I tossed clothes everywhere.
“Help me pack this bitch up. She was in here fuckin’ another man in my father’s bed,” I told her.
“Wait, some of this stuff is good. I can sell this,” Baby Head Poo said, holding up a dress.
“Well, do that, too, if you want. This hoe just gotta go!”
“Put my shit back!” Roberta said, snatching her things from Baby Head Poo. She pulled out her gun and pointed it at Roberta’s head.
“Honeyyyyyy, this old thing here will send ancestors into your body if you ever snatch anything away from me again. Kitty said you gotta get out, so, hoe, you gettin’ out! Didn’t you call the police on me and Tinka anyway when we were tryin’ to sell our mixtapes? You owe me, so sit down and shut the hell up!” Baby Head Poo said.
“That thing doesn’t even work!” Roberta said.
Baby Head Poo pointed at the ceiling and pulled the trigger. The gun was so strong Baby Head Poo fell into the wall after letting off a shot.
“This will send you back in time, now sit down!” Baby Head Poo said. Roberta reached for her phone and Baby Head Poo hit her with the butt of the gun, knocking her out.
“Did you kill her?” I asked, running to Roberta. She was still breathing.
“Take all her clothes and shoes and put them in the trunk of my car. Tell Tinka to drive off soon as you get in. Y’all betta not wreck my car neither! I’m gonna stay here and wait until my father comes home.”
“Gotcha. Can I have this, too?” Baby Head Poo asked, holding up my father’s watch.
“Girl, hell no! Now hurry up and get her things out before she wakes up.”
Baby Head Poo threw Roberta’s clothes and shoes in the middle of the bed then pulled the king-size comforter up, turning it into a bag.
How in the hell did she do that?
She tossed the comforter over her back and left the bedroom. Roberta sat up, rubbing her head. She had a huge knot on her forehead.
“What happened?” she asked, looking around.
“You were fuckin’ some man and rolled off the bed and hit your head,” I replied while calling my father. He answered the phone with music playing in the background.
“Daddy come home! It’s an emergency!”
“I can’t hear you!” he yelled into the phone.
“COME HOME NOW!”
“I’m on my way,” he said and hung up.
“Why do you want to hurt him?” Roberta asked.
“He’s too good for you. That man worked hard all his life and raised three girls and I’ll be damned if you take away his good spirit. I don’t care what kind of fallin’ out me and my daddy had. He’s still my father and, bitch, I’ll never let anyone take advantage of him!”
“Your father is weak! How is that my fault? He ain’t no damn man. Tuh, I got what I wanted. I have enough money saved up to get my own apartment,” she said. I heard someone come into the house and Roberta yelled for Dade.
“My son is gonna kick your ass!” she said.
“Mama! Where you at? I need to borrow twenty bucks!” Dade yelled from downstairs.
“I’m up here!” she said with a smirk on her face.
Dade came upstairs and into the bedroom. I leaned against the dresser next to a vase, preparing to use it if I had to.
“What happened in here?” he asked.
“She jumped me,” Roberta cried.
“Do you have twenty dollars?” Dade asked.
“Did you hear what I said?” Roberta replied.
“Yeah, I heard you, but I need that money! Where is it?” he asked, searching around the bedroom. He found her purse and dumped everything out. He stole her wallet then ran back out the room. My father’s house was no longer a peaceful one. He had a whore and a crackhead under his roof.
“He’s just playin,” Roberta said, feeling embarrassed.
I left out of the bedroom and went downstairs to wait in the living room. It took my father twenty minutes to come home. He rushed into the house with his brother, Tim. Tim was an inch taller than my father, but they were almost identical, even in size. Tinka’s father had short dreads and unlike my father, he dressed normal. Everyone used to get our fathers mixed up. They thought my daddy was Tinka’s father and that I belonged to Essa’s father and Essa belonged to Tinka’s father. I guess it was our personalities.
“Hey, Uncle Tim,” I said and he hugged me.
“What’s this I hear about you havin’ a baby?” he teased.
“Yup, I’m gonna be a mother soon.”
“You stayin’ out of trouble?” he asked.
“Yes, for the most part.”
“Where is my daughter at? I was hoping to catch her before I go home,” he said.
“She’s goin’ to Joaney’s.”
“I gotta stop by then. I’ll see you next weekend,” he said and kissed my cheek. He and my father slapped hands followed by a hug before he left out of the house.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“ROBERTA!” I yelled out.
I heard her heavy footsteps coming down the stairs seconds later. She had a rag over her forehead where Baby Head Poo struck her.
“What is goin’ on here?” he asked.
“Tell him, Roberta.”
“Your daughter and that deformed-head girl robbed me while I was sleep,” she cried. She ran to my father and cried into his chest.
“Oh, shut up! Daddy, she was fuckin’ one of your workers and I caught them. I told Baby Head Poo to take her things out the house. Oh, listen to this,” I said. I went into my phone to play the video. Sadly, I didn’t trust my father to find out the truth from my mouth, so I had to record her.
“You recorded me?” she yelled.
“Duh, don’t you hear yourself?”
“Why are you so miserable?” Roberta yelled at me.
My father sat on the couch and my heart went out to him. He had the same look Mayor had when I told him about the baby and Ian.
“You think I’m weak because I love you?” he asked Roberta.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Please, just let me explain,” she said, getting on her knees.
“You used me for my money? My hard-earned money?” he asked.
“I was just tryin’ to make her mad, baby. That’s it. You know I’d never hurt you,” she lied. I wanted to intervene, but I had to let my father see the manipulator she was.
“How many did you have in my bed, Roberta? Is that why you wanted to come down to the wash? To shop for other men?” he yelled, and she jumped.
“I get lonely when you’re always working!” she said.
“Are you even pregnant?” he asked her.
“No,” she admitted.
“Thank God!” my father said and opened the front door. Me and Roberta looked at him in confusion. He went from being angry, to sad then relieved within a few minutes.
“I’m gonna be homeless,” she cried.
“I only tolerated your bullshit because I thought you was pregnant. I’m old-fashioned, Roberta. I put up with it, so I could make sure my child had a two-parent home. I wanted to give him or her sumthin my daughter didn’t have. You call that weak then maybe you need to stick to buyin’ dick. Now get the hell out!” he said.
“I’m soorrrrrryyyyy, Henry!” she cried. Roberta had snot running down her lips.
“OUT!” he said.
I went upstairs and grabbed her purse. I wanted to make sure she didn’t need a reason to come back.
“Here you go,” I said, handing the purse to her and she snatched it.
“You will pay for stealin’ my things,” she said to me.
“Dade stole your things, ma’am. Goodbye!”
Roberta walked out the door. She turned around to say something, but my father slammed it in her face.
“Come here,” he said.
; He reached out to me and I hugged him.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I thought I was doin’ the right thing. I was just thinkin’ about the baby and that was selfish of me. It was hard bein’ a single father and I didn’t want that again, so I let Roberta do what she wanted. I figured your mother would still be here if I wasn’t hard on her, but she lived a dangerous life and I wanted to keep her away from it,” he said. I pulled away from him and his eyes were red.
