An hour later, I was opening his door again, bags in hand, indulging in the tranquility that being there gave me. After taking the groceries to the kitchen, I went to his room and found some shorts and a t-shirt to wear. Taking advantage of my surroundings, I took one more long inhale of his pillow (yes, I was desperate), then sent Joan a quick text telling her I was okay so she wouldn’t worry.
Giggling about wearing his clothes and smelling his things, I went to the living room and turned the stereo on before heading to the kitchen to get started. Eying the vases full of flowers around the house that were either wilted or dead, I decided to throw them away and bring new ones home for him tomorrow so it would look nice when he walked in.
I spent the next three hours mixing the pies and dancing around his kitchen. I set all my worries aside and simply enjoyed being home. His home, but my home where my heart was. I mixed and rolled enough dough to make four pies. It was a bit much, but I wanted him to have a taste of all my favorites. Plus, I knew it would keep my mind occupied. While the crusts were baking, I started working on the filling for them. One was cherry, one pumpkin, one chocolate, and one lemon meringue. The lemon meringue was the hardest so I saved that for last.
By the time I finished it was almost four in the morning. I never received a phone call last night from Miguel. Trust me, I checked every half hour. But I was okay. I had this day and one more and he would be back. I could do this now.
After cleaning up my mess and washing the dishes, I put the pies in the fridge and went to his bedroom to find another t-shirt. The one I was wearing was full of flour and other ingredients and I needed something clean to lie down in. I chose to take advantage of feeling good there and get a few more hours of sleep before I went in to work.
Curling up in his bed, I could still hear the stereo playing softly in the other room. It was such a heart-warming feeling to be there. I fell asleep with the first smile on my face that I’d had in over a week.
********
Work went by much faster today. Of course, it helped that I only had one day left to wait. At least, as far as I knew, it was only one more day. I still hadn’t heard from Miguel, but I refused to think about that any longer. He would be home soon and we would be together.
After finishing the paperwork for the week, I took the flowers to Miguel’s house and put them in the vases he had set up before. It was tempting to stay there again, but I decided to take a long bath and do all the feminine trimming necessities. I’d need my supplies and mirror for that.
Once I cleaned up the flower trimmings and checked on the pies (I’m not sure where I thought they may have gone to), I locked his house and drove home. I was overcome with excitement that Thursday was almost here. I parked my car in my driveway and checked my phone before getting out. It was more out of habit than expectation, but still no phone calls. I refused to dwell on it. Maybe he lost his phone or something. All that mattered was that he was coming home tomorrow.
I grabbed my mail on the way into the house and locked the door behind me. After getting some coffee, I headed to the bathroom to get busy.
An hour and a half later, I was squeaky clean and my legs, bikini line, and eyebrows were all waxed. I felt pretty good. After not sleeping much during the past week, I also felt exhausted. Sleepily crawling into bed, I hugged the pillow Miguel always used, and fell asleep dreaming of his return.
CHAPTER 12
Thursday came and went with no calls and no Miguel coming home. The following three days were the same. I gave up trying to call his phone yesterday. Every time it went directly to voicemail. Nobody had heard from him. Paul said the University had given him two weeks off with vacation pay so he had no reason to call them yet.
It was Monday morning and I knew I had an endless list of things that needed to be done. I forced myself out of bed and attempted to get ready for the day. My body could hardly function and I felt nauseous. It felt like I was moving through a cloud, somewhat disoriented, unable to focus. I made it to the bathroom and knew I’d be sick any minute. My stomach was in knots, my body cold and clammy.
Standing at the sink, trying to rinse away the ill feelings with cold water, I heard the front door open and close, followed by Joan calling out my name, but I couldn’t answer. A few minutes later, she opened the bathroom door and hurried over to where I was sitting on the floor next to the bathtub.
“My pies are no good, Joan,” I said, tearfully.
“What are you talking about, Mel?”
She sat down beside me, not even questioning my choice of rooms. She was dressed in jeans and our shop’s green uniform shirt, no doubt ready for us to walk to work together like we normally would.
“I made him four of mom’s pies. They were waiting for him in his fridge. They’re no good now.”
Tears slid down my face as I angrily swiped them away with the back of my hand. I was so sick of crying. It was such a waste. It wouldn’t change anything and made me look dreadful.
“Oh honey, we’ll make more pies. I’ll help you. He’ll be back. You have to believe that.”
Yes, that’s what I wanted to believe. That’s what I convinced myself of all these days, but it was looking like it wasn’t going to happen after all.
“Yeah,” I whispered back.
I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I didn’t want to think.
Joan reached over and wrapped her arms around me. She didn’t let go, she held on, trying to transfer her strength and love to her little sister.
Regardless of what happened, I had to move forward. I had to get past this. Joan needed me, my employees depended on me, and Lindsey was counting on me taking her shopping today. She had cancelled last week because her grandmother had come over. So this would be a chance to make it up to her and get my mind off things.
It was now or never. Deciding to go to work, I let go of Joan so I could get ready. I stood and instantly felt the room begin to spin. Joan tried to catch me, but I must have hit the floor because when I opened my eyes the back of my head hurt like a truck had hit me.
I looked around the room and quickly realized I wasn’t in my bathroom anymore. I was in a hospital room. Joan and Paul were both sitting nearby, talking quietly.
“You should tell her Joan, she’d want to know.” I heard Paul speak softly to Joan.
“No, she needs to get through one thing at a time. She’s the strongest person I know, but she’s not invincible. She needs time.”
Oh my God, was he dead? What was going on? Obviously they thought I was asleep or they wouldn’t have been talking like that with me in the room. And why was I in the hospital anyhow? I tried to sit up, but the pain was too much. Turning my head to the side, I focused on Joan.
“What happened?” My voice sounded scratchy, but loud enough I knew she could hear me clearly. Yet, she didn’t answer. Her face fell and she looked down at her shoes.
“Joan, please. Tell me. Why am I here? What are you and Paul talking about? I need to know.” I wanted to get up and shake her, but I had an IV in my hand and the pounding in my head was steadily getting worse as I spoke.
“Well,” she looked at me with fearful eyes, “You passed out when we were in the bathroom today. You scared the crap out me too!”
Okay, that much I could handle. I hadn’t been eating or sleeping well lately. But what wasn’t she telling me? I raised my eyebrows and waited for her to continue. She didn’t.
“Joan, did something happen to Miguel?” I couldn’t breathe. I stared at her and Paul, demanding one of them to answer me.
“No. Well, not him exactly.”
What the hell? Now I was getting pissed.
“Joan!” I yelled. Whatever nurses were outside my room would probably be here any minute, but I didn’t care.
“Okay, Mel, calm down. We haven’t heard from Miguel, but when we brought you in today, they ran some tests on you. You were dehydrated, over exhausted, and…” she paused.
I already knew these things, what
else was there?
“You’re pregnant, Mel.”
Pregnant.
Yeah, that was not expected. It only took a moment before my thoughts turned to Miguel again. Where was he, damn it! Oh, now I was really pissed. Before I was sad and couldn’t believe he might not come back. But now? Now I was extremely pissed off! He was gone and I was pregnant. Pregnant!
Miguelianna. The name of our sailboat shifted through my mind. It was like our baby. Half of each of us. Inside of me.
The pain throbbing in my head raged on as I tried to sort through this new development. I was so mad that Miguel wasn’t here for me. I was scared he may not come back and I’d have to raise a child alone. But a new feeling started to settle in as well. I lay quietly in my bed and closed my eyes thinking about the possibilities for the future, trying to keep the anger and hurt over Miguel at bay.
A few minutes later I heard Joan and Paul shuffling in their seats and opened my eyes to look at them.
“Mel?”
Joan couldn’t handle my silence any longer. She looked like she was about to cry as she grabbed onto Paul’s hand for reassurance. I glanced at the two of them and saw them holding hands. Together. God, I wanted Miguel.
I didn’t know where he was, but I had a part of him inside of me. This wasn’t how I planned it. Heck, I never even knew if I’d have kids of my own. I wanted them, but until Miguel came into my life, I didn’t know if I’d ever find a man I wanted to have a baby with. But now it was here. It was real. I was going to be a mom. A small flower of happiness began to blossom inside of me.
“Mel, are you okay?” Joan reached over, placing her hand on mine.
I looked up at her solemnly. “Thank you for telling me. I wish Miguel were here. I need him. But yes, I’m going to be okay.” She exhaled and visibly relaxed. “And you’re going to be an aunt now, Joan.”
She smiled.
********
The hospital wanted to keep me overnight to make sure everything was okay. They said it wasn’t mandatory, but since I hit my head so hard they’d like me to stay. I didn’t have anywhere else to be, so I agreed. Joan and Paul left later in the afternoon so they could be home with the kids, leaving me with only a television to distract my thoughts.
Hours crawled slowly by. I used the passing time to adjust to my new situation. It was hard to believe this was actually happening. If Joan hadn’t been the one to tell me, I doubt I would’ve believed it. But it was here, it was real. I was overwhelmed and confused by the feelings of both loneliness and happiness. Unable to decide how to feel, I laid back and closed my eyes.
With the steady sound of beeps out in the hall and the sound of my IV rhythmically dripping beside me, I drifted to sleep. I woke up multiple times from different sounds or hearing footsteps of nurses coming in to check my vitals throughout the evening. When the night shift arrived, she came in and asked me to get up to go to the bathroom. After making sure I made it back to my bed without falling again, she continued on to the next room. I lay back down and turned the TV on low. Before long I was sleeping again.
A few hours later I felt someone touching my arm and assumed it was the nurse checking my vital signs again. I was only half awake, allowing them to silently do their work. Once they let go, I was instantly back asleep.
Or I thought I was. I suddenly felt a body crawling into my bed, moving closer behind my back. Did a mental health patient get loose and come into my room? What was going on? I was scared to move, but as they pressed their body closer, their arms wrapping over me, I found that the fear of being touched by a stranger was far worse than seeing who was beside me. I started to jump up, but the arms around me tightened.
“Mel, I’m sorry. God, honey, I’m so sorry.”
Miguel? What? Was this even real? He sounded like he was crying.
I turned my head slightly to look over my shoulder and there he was, tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Miguel?” I whispered as I rolled over and reached out to touch him. “You’re here? Really here?”
“You are my home, Mel. There’s nowhere else I’d want to be.”
I wrapped my arms around him and buried myself in him. Tears were rolling down both our cheeks now. We lay there, holding each other, for a long time. Not saying a word, just needing to be near one another again.
“I’m so sorry, Mel. I don’t know what happened to you, but I wasn’t here for you. I wasn’t here for the one person who needed me. I’m sorry.”
And with that one sentence all my pain was wiped away. No, it didn’t erase my worries about what may have gone on while he was gone. But he was back and he was with me. He hadn’t left me.
“What happened? Why didn’t you call?” I knew this wasn’t the best time or place to talk, but I needed to know.
“They crushed my phone. They found your letter and we got into a fight. Things were really bad after that. I’m sorry.”
“Who Miguel? Who did that?”
“My brothers.” I could feel his body tense as he spoke the words out loud.
His brothers? I was now his entire family’s enemy. What about the baby? I was done with the unknown. When I left this hospital, I wanted to know where my future was headed and I didn’t want any questions left unanswered.
I looked at Miguel, trying to decide how to approach the subject. It was dark in the room, the only light coming from the TV in the corner. I could barely see his face, but I saw enough to notice the swelling around his eye, the stitches under his other eye, and his busted lip.
“Oh my God, what happened?” How did I not see that when I first realized he was here? It must have been my eyes adjusting to the darkness earlier, because I could see it clearly now, even without much light.
“It’s not important, Mel. It’s done with. I promised my mother and sisters I’d keep in contact with them. I promised to go back once a year to see them. But I refuse to have anything to do with my brothers.”
It would take me a while to get the entire story from him. Obviously, he was hurt worse than I was so I didn’t want to push him, but I still needed to tell him about what happened to me.
“Miguel, I passed out today and hit my head.”
“What? Why?” He sat up and started inspecting my body. He gently slid his hand over my arms, up my neck, and across my forehead searching for injuries.
I noticed him wince when he pulled his body to the side and I knew there was more damage than what was done to his face. God, I was such a selfish person. I was crying and worrying about myself and he was getting his ass kicked by people who were supposed to love him.
“Mel, what happened honey?”
“Wait, how’d you find me here?”
“I went by your house and waited for you. When you still weren’t there at eleven o’clock, I started to get worried. I thought maybe you went to my house to sleep, so I drove home, but you weren’t there. The flowers were there, and your pies, but not you. I didn’t know what to do. I raced over to Joan’s house and knocked on their door. Nobody answered so I started pounding on windows. Finally, they woke up and came outside.”
He winced again and slowly laid himself back down, leaning on his side so he could hold me still. He took a few breaths to calm his pain before continuing.
“Joan was so mad at me. She had every right to be though. But once I explained it to her, she told me where you were at. I came here right away. I feel so bad that I wasn’t here for you.”
“So, did she tell you what happened?”
“Not really. All she said was that you had an accident. Every scenario has gone through my head, but it all leads back to me. Please tell me this isn’t my fault.”
I had to smile at that idea, because technically it was his fault as much as it was mine. “Well, not exactly.”
“Oh god.” He moaned and covered his eyes with his arm. “Please tell me, Mel. What happened?” he whispered the last part, obviously afraid of what I may say.
“Miguel, I’m pregnant.�
�
Silence.
I couldn’t even hear breathing. He definitely hadn’t considered that possibility. Maybe he passed out this time. I gave him a couple minutes to adjust to the news before I spoke again.
I was about to say something, when I felt his arm slowly sliding around my waist and gently pulling me against his body. He turned me so that my back was pressing up against his chest, molding me into the cavity his body made. Leaning his head over my shoulder, he kissed my neck with sweet gentleness.
“I don’t even know what to say.” He slowly whispered.
I started to fear that he might see this as a bad thing. When I first found out, I didn’t know if he’d ever be back. When I entertained the idea of him being with me, I thought of how good he was with Lindsey and knew he’d make a great father. But what if he didn’t want children? We never discussed the possibility before.
“Mel, I never thought I’d find someone like you. You are so, well, you’re just everything. I’m the luckiest man on Earth to have a child with you. I just hope you can forgive me for not being here when you found out, when you needed me.”
He lowered his hand and spread his fingers across my belly. My silent tears began falling to the pillow.
“I love this little baby and I will do everything I can to be a good father, but I have one request for you.”
Trying my best to clear my voice, I asked him, “What?”
“Please marry me.”
My life during the past 24 hours had been flipped upside down and back again. The past 2 weeks had been nothing more than a roller coaster. I was speechless.
“Listen, it’s not because of the baby. I bought you a ring while I was gone. I planned to set up a romantic night soon and do it the right way. The ring’s at home or I’d give it to you now, but…I just…I need you Mel. I love you. Please consider being my wife.”
I didn’t need to consider anything. I knew my answer. I just couldn’t find my voice through the tears to tell him. I put my hand on top of his, interlocking our fingers, and holding him close to me. Close to our child.
Twisted Truths & Leveled Lies Page 12
