********
Later that evening, I gave Josie a bath. It was his first real bath since his surgery. He still couldn’t lie down in the tub, but he was able to sit there while I washed his body. I constantly thought about my talk earlier with Miguel, replaying his response and worrying about what might happen. Of course, I imagined every possibility and probably created more worries than I needed, but at least I prepared myself for any and everything.
When Josie and I came out of the bathroom, I heard music playing downstairs and remembered the business dinner Miguel had told me about. He never invited me to join them. I assumed that Osan would find women an intrusion in the men’s business deals. I’d like to spit in his face someday! Didn’t he realize how many women were successful in the world today?
Just as the thought crossed my mind, I heard laughter coming from downstairs. Our door was open with the gate positioned to keep Josie safely inside. He didn’t do much walking or running after his surgery, but it made me feel more secure knowing it was there.
Again, I heard the laughter, this time even louder. What I couldn’t understand was that it was women’s laughter. Here. For a business dinner?
I sat down with Josie and gave him a picture book to look through while I towel dried his hair. If I were at home, I’d simply walk down there and introduce myself. Considering the possibility of ruining something important, and causing Miguel to extend his stay here to fix the problem, I chose not to. Maybe the husbands brought their wives with them. But if so, why didn’t Miguel ask me to join them? He knew the nurse would come and stay with Josie so I could go. It was another puzzle I couldn’t figure out.
The laughter disappeared, and I spent the next hour pacing the floor in our room while contemplating every possibility. Poor Josie didn’t know what to make of his mother. He tried to get me to play with him, but each time I began, I’d space out until he hit me with a toy or called my name.
I couldn’t handle it. Deciding to leave Josie for a few minutes to try to find some answers, I piled a bunch of toys in front of him and hurried to the door. I was only wearing pajama pants and a tank top with no bra, but I didn’t think it would matter what I looked like, I was only going to poke my head around the edge of the wall and spy a little.
I climbed over the safety gate, turned, and quietly tiptoed down the hallway. Approaching the opening of the staircase, I peered cautiously over the railing. My body was hidden behind the wall, but my head was far enough out that if someone looked up they could see me.
It must’ve been time for everyone to leave, because a group of people was making their way out of the dining hall, and into the circular entryway. There were four women, all wearing very elegant evening gowns. Miguel followed behind them with another man I’d never seen before beside him. They were both wearing suits and ties and if I didn’t know differently, it would appear like they were escorting the women.
They continued walking until the stairs were obstructing my view, so I stepped further out and looked down. Miguel was talking to the women, but in another language. Damn, if only I could speak it! The other man retrieved the lady’s shawls from the coat rack, handing Miguel one, before he gently wrapped one around a lady’s back, his hands lingering after positioning it along her arms.
Curious about Miguel’s actions, I watched as he began placing the shawl over the shoulders of a lady in a light blue silky gown. She was beautiful with long brown hair cascading over her shoulder and her dress shimmered along the curves of her body from the light from the chandelier. Watching attentively, her smile slowly turned seductive as she said something I couldn’t hear. I waited to see if he promptly removed his hands, but didn’t get a chance to find out.
“See anything you like down there?” Osan’s voice seared through my body as he came up from behind me.
I spun around so fast, I almost lost my balance. How did he get there? Why was he even upstairs in the first place? I was about twenty feet from our room and I could see Josie looking over the security gate watching us. I never heard him approach and was surprised that Josie didn’t squeal or say something when he saw him pass by.
Lowering his head close to mine, he spoke with an evil hiss, “I’d consider inviting you down there to meet the lovely women, but you’re dressed like an American whore and I would never embarrass myself or my brother like that.”
He pulled away and hurried down the staircase without saying another word. What else could he say? He pretty much said it all.
I stood there, speechless, and watched as he descended the stairs. The group of people was out of my line of sight now, but I could still see Osan when he stopped and turned to look at me watching him. He smiled wickedly, laughing at my shock, then turned to continue walking the rest of the way down.
Completely humiliated, I rushed back to our room. I stepped over the gate and gently picked Josie up, before slamming the door behind me.
I truly believed there was far more going on then just being cordial to family and helping us out. If I had to guess, I’d say Osan was trying to convince Miguel to leave me. There was no other explanation for all this. The loneliness, being locked inside for weeks at a time, the worry over Josie, and the loss of my friend and husband, was all too much. I didn’t know what to think. All I knew for certain, was that I was leaving Wednesday, whether Miguel came with us, or not. I’d wait the three days to give him a chance to see his mother and do what was right. But if he chose not to come home, then I would do what was right for Josie and me.
********
I put Josie to bed, and tried to read a book while I waited for Miguel. I thought about going down to see if they were back, but decided I felt safer in my room. I didn’t want to risk running into Osan again while I was alone. I had enough questions for Miguel, without dealing with him as well.
After my encounter with Osan earlier, Miguel had come upstairs, informing me that they were escorting the women home in Osan’s car because it was late. I looked at him like he was a monster. His wife and recovering son were here in this room and he was escorting other women home?
It had been nearly two hours ago since he left, and I was growing angrier by the minute. Was there something more going on? Is that why he was always gone? I had been cheated on once before and swore that I’d never be in that situation again. Yet, here I was, going through the same process of revealing the hidden, twisted, truth.
I checked on Josie one last time, went to the bathroom, and decided to go to sleep. It was doing no good to pace the floors and try to figure things out. The men were leaving in the morning, and I had made plans to have the chauffeur drive us around to have a break from the house. Miguel had suggested it a few days ago after one of our disagreements. I could see he wasn’t exactly pleased with me going without him, but when he said that Osan had discussed it with the driver and made sure everything was taken care of, I agreed that I’d go just out of spite. I still didn’t understand why he was doing everything Osan said now, but I was beyond trying to figure it out. I had been locked in the house for weeks upon weeks. It’s sad to say, but I was excited about a car ride. Other than the surgery, it would be the first time I’d left the house since we arrived.
Shortly after I settled into bed and turned the light off, I heard Miguel come through the door, quietly shutting it behind him. He walked past the bed, straight to the bathroom, immediately turning the shower on.
Why did he need a shower at this time of night? I wanted to scream, to tear my heart out, and hand it to him since he was already ripping it to shreds. I lay there, silently crying into my pillow, waiting for sleep to take me away. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sleep. Images of Miguel with another woman played through my mind repeatedly. How could he do this? I thought he loved me! And what about Josie?
He came out of the bathroom, about half an hour later, and went directly to Josie’s room. I assumed he was checking on him, but he didn’t return. Fifteen minutes later, I gave up on sleep, and went to
the Josie’s doorway.
Miguel was sitting on the side of the bed, his legs half on and half off, and his body angled toward our little boy. His hand was brushing the hairs off Josie’s forehead, allowing them to fall back in place, and repeating it again, like I’d seen him do so many times before. It looked so normal.
“Miguel?” I whispered across the room.
He jumped up off the bed, hurrying across the floor, and wrapping me tightly in his arms. Was he feeling guilty? Was that what all this was about?
“I’m sorry if I woke you,” he whispered and started leading us back to our room, pulling me beside him.
I went to the bed with him, and crawled in. He did the same on the other side, and laid back on the pillow with his arm stretched out, assuming I’d lie down and cuddle up to him. I didn’t. I sat there looking down at him and wondering what to say, if I should say anything, or wait until we were home. After spending almost six weeks trying to get answers from him, I knew nothing I asked tonight would provide any help.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
I hesitated, unsure of how to put my feelings into words or if I should even try at all. “I don’t know what to say, Miguel. I just don’t know right now.”
“We’re leaving really early in the morning, would you please lay with me?” He asked innocently, like there should be no reason I wouldn’t.
Was he really that blind to what he was doing to me? I could let most of what was happening go until we were safely home, I could ignore the hurt that his change in personality had caused, but I couldn’t ignore what he did tonight.
“Did you sleep with her?”
I needed to know now. I didn’t want to know, but I couldn’t go on without asking. Even if he lied, I hoped I would be able to see through it.
He sat up quicker than I could blink, turning me by my shoulders, and tilting his head slightly. “What are you talking about, Mel? Who?”
Was he angry with me? I couldn’t tell.
“One of the ladies that were here tonight. I saw them. Osan said some things to me about them. You took them home, Miguel. You were gone a long time. I want to know if you slept with one of them.” I stayed strong. I didn’t cry. I held my head up and looked him directly in the eye.
“You thought…” He paused, shifting his gaze from my eyes to my mouth and back. “Maelianna.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath like this was torturing him.
I started to regret asking him. If it was this hard to answer, I could only imagine what was really going on.
I watched him swallow as he slowly opened his eyes. Pulling me to his chest, he wrapped his arms around me, and held me close. My arms hung limp, as I remained stiff, unwilling to return any affection right now.
“No, my love,” he whispered above my head, lightly kissing my hair, before pulling back and cupping my face in his hands. “I’m sorry you could think that of me. I would never think of another woman. You are my everything.”
I thought I was strong. I was, until I heard him say that. For three years he told me that every night before we went to bed. Three years, until we came here. Hearing him say it now, broke what little was left of me.
He tried to reach up and wipe my tears, but I pulled away, throwing my body to the edge of the bed, as far away from him as I could get. I pulled the blanket up around me and closed my eyes, willing the tears to stop. They would do no good.
“Goodnight, Miguel.”
I’d always told him, “As you are mine,” but for the first time since we were married, I didn’t return his words.
“Mel, please, don’t do this to me. Talk to me.”
“Oh, like you’ve been talking to me? Like you’ve told me anything that is going on or what you’re feeling. I’m sorry, Miguel, but I can’t do this.” I thought about stopping, but the floodgates were open, and I had no desire to shut them yet. I didn’t turn to look at him, I just kept going.
“You had a wife here, alone with a baby who is recovering from major surgery. You left us again. Again Miguel. And for what? To escort women home?”
I took a deep breath, clearing my throat from the sobs that were starting to form. “We’ve spent six weeks here, supposedly for our son. During that time, you’ve gone from being my best friend, to somebody I don’t even know. While we’re here suffering, you’re out all day doing God knows what, then entertaining women at night. How am I doing this to you? When we needed you the most, you took us to a foreign land, locked us in a strange home with no TV, no phone, no Internet, nothing, and you left us repeatedly. When I tried to talk to you, you shut me out. The only thing I’ve been good for is cooking, cleaning, and one night of fucking!”
He didn’t respond.
I laid there crying, waiting for something, anything. The only thing I heard was breathing. I finally decided to take my things and sleep with Josie, but as I went to grab my pillow, I heard him move toward me.
“I don’t care if you push me away right now, Mel. I’m holding you.”
I guess he expected that after what I said. He was right. I didn’t want him touching me, but my traitorous heart submitted. No matter how much I hurt, I still loved him.
“I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you so much. Please, just trust me a little longer. We’re almost done here. We’re leaving Wednesday, Mel. I promise.”
I continued to cry. He said we were leaving, he said we were going home. We, not Josie and me alone, but we. Yet, I couldn’t get rid of the bad feelings I had. I didn’t know how to feel now. Happy? Scared? Angry? Worried? I kept crying, my body trembling and gasping, until I couldn’t breathe, and started to choke.
“Please, Mel. Stop. God, please stop. I hate myself for what I’m doing to you. I hate what I’ve become to Josie. Please forgive me.”
Maybe it was his begging, or when he moved the blankets back, and lifted me in his arms, cradling me to his chest as he started to cry with me, but once again, I set my feelings aside to help the man I loved. I had taken care of everyone else my entire life. I don’t think I ever learned to take care of myself. Instead of doing what I should’ve and moving to Josie’s bed, I weakly wrapped my arms around him, holding on as much as I could. My body was so tired. My mind exhausted. I laid my head on his shoulder and reached up, placing my hand on his cheek, and feeling the wet trail from his tears. We were both suffering so much, but I had no idea why. The only thing I had was a promise for Wednesday. I didn’t have any choice except to trust him.
We ended up sleeping in the most uncomfortable position. Miguel refused to let go, holding me in his lap the entire night, as he leaned back against the headboard. I’m not sure how much he slept, but after crying so hard, I fell asleep pretty quickly once we were both calm. He woke up before sunrise and gently moved me under the covers. Sliding his body beside mine, he held me for a while before leaving for his trip. I wasn’t fully awake, but I was aware of enough to know what he was doing.
“I’m leaving Mel,” he said softly, tenderly rubbing my arm. “When I come back, we’re going home. Our home. Please forgive me. I love you more than anything in this world. Take care of Josiah for me. Keep him safe. Bye, my love.” After a lingering kiss on my cheek, he slid off the bed, and left.
CHAPTER 24
My eyes were swollen, my stomach hurt, and I felt like I could sleep for days. Unfortunately, my mind wouldn’t let me. Once Miguel was gone, any feelings of reassurance disappeared, and I reverted to thinking about those women, and the man he had become.
Josie was still asleep, so I decided to hurry downstairs for some coffee and toast, hoping to distract my thoughts. There would be no one else here except Josie and I until the chauffeur returned from taking the men to the airport.
It was about an hour drive when we arrived, so after rolling around in bed for a while, I expected him to be gone for another hour or so. Miguel said he’d be staying with me over the weekend, in case I needed anything. He seemed like a nice guy, and was good with Josie. So, I was okay with him bein
g there. At least it gave me somebody to talk to, even if I didn’t know his name.
I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen. The house was dark, but after walking the halls for weeks, I had every step counted and memorized. After making a pot of coffee, I gathered my plate of food and cup, carefully walking through the eerie house, and toward the stairs.
As I shut the kitchen door, a light down the hall on the main floor caught my eye. Was anyone here other than me? The only thing down that hall was a side entrance to the dining room and Osan’s office. Maybe he left his office door open? My eyes grew big, my curiosity getting the better of me. His office, hmm…
I sat my plate of food on the bottom step, hurrying to the hall, and peaked around the corner to make sure nobody was there. Sure enough, his office door was slightly cracked, light spilling out from inside. I didn’t hear anyone else and knew this was the opportunity I’d been waiting weeks for. I glanced at the clock on the wall and figured that I had about half an hour left before the chauffeur came back.
My heart was strumming in anticipation as I hurried down the hall. Approaching the door apprehensively, I was nervous about what I might find on the other side. Osan’s voice echoing in my head that I was forbidden to enter only cemented my resolve. Stepping forward, I cautiously pushed it open.
I nearly fell over from shock.
The room was filled with every type of electronic I could imagine. There were three flat screen TV’s mounted to the wall, a few different types of computers, various tall metal filing cabinets, and multiple phones situated on the desk. There was access to everything here all along, but he kept it from me. That alone was enough to make me want to hurt him when he returned, but what was on the television screens was what finally made me cross the line to revenge. I was going to kill the man!
I walked around Osan’s desk and stood in front of the TVs. Each screen was divided into four. Inside each square was a different area of the house. It was security surveillance. I could understand that for a house like this, but what I couldn’t quite grasp was the last TV.
Twisted Truths & Leveled Lies Page 21
