by Lucia Franco
"Can I do you next?" Fuck. I can barely speak.
"Another time. This is for you, sweetheart."
After he does my entire back side down to my ankles, the desire hovering above my tingling skin makes me painfully needy for him. I hope he's ready for me soon. He had to know what a massage like this would do to me.
James turns me over and I immediately start laughing. He looks at me with a puzzled expression.
"The feathers and petals are sticking to my back," I answer his unasked question.
Laughter spreads across James's face. "I didn't prepare for that."
"You can pull them off when we're done and then we can dip in the ocean," I suggest, and his eyes light up. He likes the idea.
James takes his time and starts at my feet, making his way up my thighs. I realize the oil is scented with vanilla bean and a dark tropical smell, which only heightens my senses. I watch James as he's so careful with my body and how he applies pressure to the thicker parts of me. In the two years I've been with him, I've gained a fair amount of weight and he swears he loves it. I went up four full sizes—five, depending on where I shop. "More cushion for the pushin'" he’d said when I’d grumbled about it. I laughed.
My hips are more rounded, my thighs are a little bigger, and my ass is heavier with more bounce. Somehow my stomach has stayed flat. Most of the weight went to my boobs. I'm curvier than I was before and I've never felt so sexy in my life. James makes me love my body and feel entirely comfortable around him. I could have been born without sight and still wouldn’t need it to see what he sees. That’s the feeling he evokes from me. Sexy. Confident. Vixen.
My body is lax, my legs quivering on the edge of need as he presses and kneads my inner thighs. I lift my knees and slowly open my legs to expose myself to him.
"I want you to put it on me here," I say, touching my pussy. I'm already so wet and ready for him. I dip two fingers inside. He watches as I pull them out and use my glossy desire to circle my clit. My back bows and I hiss in a breath through my teeth.
James’s blues eyes flicker with black shadows against the flames. They remind me of sapphires.
Bracing myself, I hold my breath as I watch him get another candle and blow out the flame. He returns to the bed and slowly drizzles the hot oil all over my pussy. My eyes fall closed and my head presses back into the sheets. It's a shock at first that quickly leads to an overflowing stream of decadence. My jaw falls open and I gasp as it drips into my tender folds. James makes eye contact one last time before the oil breathes warmth into me, alighting my flesh with intense sparks of desire. He rubs it in and I draw in a long breath, clenching my fists. I turn my face and the rose petals are soft as silk as they graze my cheek. My back arches in response, nipples puckering, knees falling open as wide as they can go when his fingers begin to delve carefully around my pussy. My toes dig into the mattress and a moan escapes my throat.
"James," I gasp, reaching for him. My heart is burning with fire.
He doesn't respond, just leans down to press a kiss to my stomach, then moves onto my arms.
I watch his face as he focuses on what he's doing. The lapping ocean waves outside is our only sound. It's peaceful while there's a passionate storm brewing inside between us. James is tense, his shoulders are bunched tight and his brow is creased.
Placing my hand on his bicep, I ask, "Can I pour the oil on you so you can feel what I do?" His nostrils flare and he nods with a set jaw. I look at him once more and he answers my confused look.
"I'm trying not to lose control," he says.
A murmur forms in the back of my throat. "I like when you do, though." My gaze drops to his straining cock. The tip of his head is a shade of deep violet and there's proof of his arousal dripping from the tip. I lick my lips watching it fall in a thin stream to the bed.
After he finishes with both my arms, I sit up. Between the warm oil and smooth taste of cognac streaming through my veins, I'm hungrier for him than ever before.
"I'm not done," he says. But I can't handle anymore. I'm about to jump his bones.
James gets up to hand me a fresh candle. He lifts it to my face for me to blow out the flame, then hands it to me.
James is kneeling in front of me, mimicking my position. "I don't want to hurt you," I say, suddenly hesitant as I look at the steaming oil and his jutting erection.
"There's nothing you can do that would hurt me, sweetheart, unless you leave me."
My eyes snap to his. I shake my head. If I wasn't so worked up inside, I'd be angry he even suggested such a thing.
Palming his cock with one hand, I hand him the candle to hold for a second as I scoot back. I lean down to take him in my mouth, flattening my tongue and relaxing. I taste his arousal as I suck him good and deep before pulling back. I do it a few more times and look up at James.
My heart is in my throat.
His head is tilted back, and there's a maze of veins straining in his neck. Through the colorful ink, his chest is blushed with pleasure and the vascularity in his body is pulsating. It sounds funny to call a man beautiful until you witness it. James is beautiful when he's in the throes of passion. He's abandoned reserve and only moves on feeling.
"I love you, James." I find myself whispering as I look at him. My heart is too full, bursting with emotion for this man I never should've been able to love in the first place.
His head comes up and his eyes open to reveal a depth of emotion I wonder if I’ve ever had in my eyes when I’ve looked at him.
Leaning forward, James grabs ahold of the side of my neck and plants a hard fucking kiss on my lips.
I break the kiss. "I don't want to hurt you," I say again.
"If you're concerned, you can pour the oil in your hand and rub it on me. But it's not going to hurt."
Nodding, I direct him to lie back, and he does. His legs are spread wide, his thick thighs dusted with fine hair. Our eyes meet one last time before I lift the candle and turn it over slowly. I watch in fascination as the oil drizzles down his engorged cock. A loud moan rolls out from his throat and his body vibrates. The tip of his cock produces a small pearl of cum. I place the candle on the table next to our bed, then wrap my hand around his width and lean down. I run my tongue over his pleasure, tasting the saltiness. His back bows and he palms the back of my head, his thighs coming up to encage me. He releases me and I twist my wrist and squeeze, stroking him as I suck the head of his cock.
"Stop," he demands, his voice like gravel and he fists my hair. James pulls my head up as he sits up. "Get your ass over here," he says, his voice low and so fucking sexy.
One of the things I loved about James when we first met was the sound of his voice and how New York he sounded. When he's aroused, it's so much deeper and stronger, more lax on the Rs and tighter on the vowels. He thinks it's funny that I like hearing him talk, but I do. He's sexy.
Scooting closer, James gets up on his knees then sits back on his feet. My hearts racing, pounding with anticipation. I climb over his hips so my knees are pressed into the mattress as I straddle him. James reaches out for my waist to guide me to him. Grasping his cock, he angles it at my entrance but stops me from sliding down on it. He looks in my eyes and I hold my breath.
"I want us to last all night. We don't come until we can't handle anymore, and when we do, we come together."
I dig my teeth into my bottom lip and nod. I like this idea. I just hope I can hold out.
"We're not fucking, Aubrey," he states. "Tonight, we’re going slow. I’m going to show you how much I love you."
Seven
I swallow hard as James guides his cock into me painfully slow. He gives good foreplay, and he knows it.
"We're going to feel every bit, so we never forget who we belong to."
My lips part and I fall more in love with this man as he inches his way into me. I'm not sure my heart can take anymore. The way it beats, how it's pulsing in my throat, how when I look at him, I know he's the love of my life.
Once he's fully seated inside of me, my thighs loosen and I soften against him. My hands come up to cup his face. Leaning in, I hear him draw in a breath before our lips meet. Sometimes I feel like the only way to tell him how much he means to me is by kissing him with everything that's in me. Slow, with a side of control. Everything can be felt with a kiss.
James guides my hips to move with his. This is where we both make perfect sense because we connect in the same fashion with the same splitting control. I've got his lips that lead to the same place for me that his touch leads to for him—where our bodies are joined. My hips slowly rotate over him, my clit hitting the hair on his mound. James drives in and holds my ass in place. We move at the same pace, the same tenderness, the same passion. It's a deeper connection for us, one that we never speak about.
"James," I whisper against his lips. My forehead is pressed to his, my hands cupping his curved shoulders. I move one hand to the back of his head as he holds my hips steady and thrusts inside of me. He's so fucking wicked on my soul that I want to beg for him to always take me like this.
"Yeah, sweetheart?" he responds in a raspy voice. He knows what he's doing.
He moves my hair that's sticking to my damp face. My jaw angles up toward him, my back arching so my nipples are pressed against his chest. Our mouths don't touch, instead we tease each other with the promise of more debauchery. Abandon desire lights my body up like a diamond under the sun. My body is shaking, toes curling, fingers struggling to hold on as utter rapture grips me.
"Nothing… nothing feels this good," I tell him, eyes closed in ecstasy. "How are you holding on?" My entire body quivers. I'm struggling to not finish.
"Look at me."
I open my eyes and find a slight curl on James’s lips. His gaze says everything.
"Do I look like I don't know what I'm doing? I know your body like a book, Aubrey. It belongs to me. Your pussy, your body, your heart. It's all mine."
Coming from his words alone wouldn't be a first for me.
A saucy huff rolls off my lips. I should've known he'd say that. James bends back slightly to pull out. He watches his cock leave my pussy only to plunge back in without shame. It's one of the sexiest things I've ever seen him do. He's in a state of unrestrained euphoria while he does it, and it's magnificent.
He's shaking under me now and I know if I move my hips just a fraction, he'll lose control and come. If I breathe too deeply, he'll come.
I grind my hips forward and ride James, feeling the ridges of his cock and taking him in me the way I know he loves. Gritty sex is James's middle name. There's a deepness inside of him that only I can reach.
Rising up on his knees, he leans into me until my back is on the mattress again. Red petals and soft, white feathers breeze around us like it's snowing. He's driving into me like he's determined to show me who's in charge.
"Baby," I say, and he knows what I mean.
I straighten one leg so it's up against his leg and then hook the other around his hip, pushing him farther inside me. We gasp in unison as he slips in deeper at this angle. It's tight as a fist for James and just the right angle for me to come soon.
My hands roam his broad backside, groping every inch of him as he carries us to a higher level. James is hammering into me with finesse. We’re both dewy from the damp air when we finally climax together. Nails score his beautiful ink but never tear him, and my toes curl around the rose petals. An unabashed moan rolls off my lips. James is coming inside of me. I can feel his cock twitching and his warmth filling me. The walls of my pussy suck him dry until he's emptied inside of me.
"I have no words." I say the first thing on my mind. His cum leaks out between us and I can feel the stickiness of it on my thighs and dripping down my ass. We're both breathing hard and I have a feeling he's about to pull out, so I hold him for a second and just look into his eyes. I smile as he meets my gaze and use my thumbs to trace his lips.
I bring my mouth to his and he cups the back of my head at the same time, rolling us to the side. My legs sandwich his, and his wet and used cock slips out of me and lays against my thigh. He has no shame between the sheets and I love that he's so free. I glance between us and smirk at the way his cock glistens, laying there like I completely used him.
I guess I did.
"You're welcome," he responds, and I giggle.
"That was incredible. I can't believe you remembered when I mentioned the candles to you. That was like forever ago."
He smiles proudly. We had ordered some sex toys online on a whim. Since we'd already had so many things in our cart that I wanted to try out first, I figured I'd get the candle next time, among a few other things that had caught my eye. I'm glad he took it upon himself to get it for us.
James shifts to fully turn his body toward mine. He twirls my dark hair around one of his fingers and gives it a little tug. My gaze shifts to his chest that holds a giant lion's face inked into his skin. I look into its black eyes. They lure me with interest and in a strange sense remind me of James. The lion’s mane is full of vivacious colors mixed with black lines that are intertwined. I look at it and feel alive. I feel inspired. I feel wild passion. But most of all, I feel James. A silent but strong man who is all mine.
"Aubrey?" he says, and I look up at him with a lazy smile. "Do you ever think about the future? Like, our future?"
I swallow a little rougher and turn onto my side to prop my elbow up and place my jaw in my hand. "Yes."
"How come you never talk to me about it?" His brows start to form a frown but he masks it.
"It's nerve-wracking, I guess. My future only has you in it, but I don't know if what we each want is the same thing. I’d hate to risk the argument that would probably ensue right after if we saw different things."
We're both quiet for a moment. He twirls my hair again.
"I definitely have that fear myself. You're young, you probably want babies. As much as I'd love to have a child with you and see you become a mother, I think I'm past my time. I don't want to be eighty when my child goes to college. I'll be lucky if I live that long."
I don't say anything because I don't know what to say.
The truth is, I'm torn myself. We've been wrapped in this bubble we both created that I never really thought about if I wanted kids or not with him. I want to be angry that James is basically telling me kids aren't an option. Sure, I'd love to create a family with the man I love, but in all honestly, the selfish part of me is fine with just having him, and only him, to myself for the rest of my life.
Eight
"I know children is a deal breaker for some," he says. "I feel like it's better to get that out and in the open first and go from there."
I peer up at him. "Is it strange that I'm okay with not having kids?" I'm surprised by how okay I am with the idea. "Women are expected to want to start a family when they get married, but I never had the desire to. For the longest time I felt ashamed for not wanting children. It doesn't mean I don't like kids, or that I'm too selfish or inadequate to have them. I just never really considered having them, I guess because it wasn't high on my list." I pause, then ask, "Does that bother you?"
"I think people want it both ways. You see the pros and cons and want both. Do I want you to reason with me about having kids so I feel like maybe you do want our child? Yes. I'm a man, and I want you to have my kids, but I’m also relieved you don’t."
I muse over our conversation, my fingers drawing squiggly lines on his chest.
"I want kids, but I don't. I think I'm leaning toward the cool aunt title more than anything, I just don't have any siblings to make me one." I stop and think about Natalie and how she's basically my sister and could make me a cool aunt. But I have a hard time seeing her ever having kids. I chuckle. "I'm trying to picture Natalie with kids. I don't know why it makes me laugh. I feel like kids would run her life, not the other way around."
James grins and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. He doesn't realize that I caught the s
park in his eyes at the thought of becoming a grandfather. "That'd be something."
I think about it more. Would I feel like I'm missing out on something? As a woman, yes, but as a person, no. Maybe we could just get a dog one day and be dog parents.
Glancing at James's chest, I trace the black lines of the lion's mane with my acrylic nail, pulling on some of his chest hairs. "I don't think I'd feel any sort of loss or longing if I don't have kids. I do a little now, but I think that's because I've accepted what I’ve been thinking about all along. It's just once you actually speak about something, it makes it feel more real than anything."
"Look at me," he says, and I shoot my eyes up to his. I can see the legitimate worry plaguing his eyes. "Tell me you're not going to resent me for not having kids."
I do better. I lean in and give him a hard kiss, then I look at him. James cups my hair and fists it in his hand. "I will not resent you," I say slow and clear. "And if I ever change my mind, I'll tell you."
"Good, because I don't think I could live with it." He blinks a few times, still holding on to me. "If you see a future with me, does that future involve us getting married?"
My heart drops and I roll onto my back. I had a gut feeling this topic was coming soon. James has been much more lovey and hands-on and attentive, showing me exactly how he feels. I'd wondered what changed for him or if it was because he'd been considering marriage at some point. Now that I think about it, when James had opened up to me about his previous marriage to Nat’s mom, that was the extent of the marriage talk we’d had.
I'm a little nervous to tell him, though. I love James and don't want to upset him if we're on different pages. I know in my heart I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm connected to someone, or to vow my love for them. What James and I have is real, whether I'm legally his wife or not. To me, it's all the same. Most people think the point of a relationship is to get married, but it's not. Some people reach a deeper connection because of that paper, while others find it pointless to have that label when nothing is changing.
