by Jayne Rylon
“Honestly, Wren, what I want doesn’t really matter. Like I said, I don’t have as much freedom as I wish sometimes. Not when the whole world is watching my every move.” Kason cleared his throat as if reality stuck in his craw.
She frowned at her phone. Was he letting himself be imprisoned by his career? Fame, wealth, and the adulation of millions would be hard to sacrifice. She would do it in an instant for love. “I’m sorry, Kason.”
“Don’t be. I still want to hear all about you and your friends. I’ll live vicariously through you. Tomorrow night. Same time?” he asked.
“Absolutely.”
For a few minutes, neither of them said anything. Wren listened to the reassuring pattern of Kason’s slow, deep breathing. It had been so long since she’d been able to be still and know her partner was equally sated and at peace.
It was a lovely sensation, one she’d missed.
“Still there?” he asked blearily.
“I’m sleepy, but I don’t want to hang up.” Wren burrowed into her pillow.
“What if I sing you a lullaby?” he asked.
“Would you? Really?” She tried not to perk up at that offer. She already knew it would be legendary.
Kason didn’t bother to respond. Instead, he started crooning “Secret Love.” Of course. Wren closed her eyes as the familiar melody washed over her. It was the first time she really let the lyrics sink in, or maybe dozing off allowed them to percolate through her subconscious.
And though she didn’t rouse enough to question Kason about it then, his song inspired her dreams. Of him. Of them. Of her and Jordan. And what it might be like if she could convince the guys to love her—and each other.
It was the best night’s sleep she’d had since before Johnny died.
Somewhere, he was smiling down at them.
17
It had been a terrible idea to come to Trevon’s birthday party. Jordan couldn’t say that was a shock. He had known it was dumb before he did it. Yet he hadn’t been able to stop himself from showing up anyway.
He’d been invited because Quinn and Trevon had become his unlikely friends.
He’d come because they were excited to show him the progress they’d been making on his motorcycle and—of course—because he knew Wren would be there too.
With built-in chaperones surrounding them, maybe he could try to be civil this time and show her that they could move past what they’d been into something they could agree was healthy for the future.
Except once he was there, all he could do was watch her shooting the shit with the Hot Rods and helping Devra serve the food—which was laid out on folding tables covered in brightly colored paper tablecloths, in the field near the stream that ran behind Hot Rides—and pretend like he didn’t see her glancing toward the driveway every five seconds.
Was she thinking of escaping because he was there or was she hoping to see someone else driving down it?
The next time Wren passed nearby, Jordan reached out and took a light hold of her elbow to steer her to a stop. He leaned in to murmur in her ear, “Am I making this weird for you? I can leave if…”
He never finished that thought because right then someone came over the crest of the hill, jogging from the direction of the Hot Rides parking lot, with another dude and a woman trailing a little way behind.
Wren stepped away from Jordan so quickly she might have fallen if she wasn’t so damn athletic and lithe. She stared at the ground for a full three seconds before raising her gaze to the newcomer’s.
Kason Cox.
Of course.
Jordan had been an idiot to assume he had anything to do with her anxiety. Wren had never been anything other than self-assured around Jordan. He didn’t have the ability to impact her like Kason obviously did.
The guy slowed as his gaze flicked from Wren to Jordan then back. By the time he was within a few feet, his stride had become an amble. “Sorry I’m late. Traffic was terrible.”
“That didn’t keep him from pulling all kinds of stunts to get here before the party was over, though,” a big, solid guy grumbled from behind Kason. Jordan remembered seeing the bodyguard the night of the concert, before he’d shown himself out. “If you’re not careful, you’re going to get yourself killed one of these days.”
The curvy blonde with the bodyguard seemed to agree. “Damn, Kason. You almost lost us back there. No wonder Van didn’t want you to take one of your motorcycles. It would serve you right if he made you ride with him on the way home and let me transport your bike instead.”
From the refreshment table closest to them, Ollie’s head turned at that. “You ride?”
“Yeah.” The woman crossed her arms. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“That wasn’t skepticism. That was me wondering if one of these guys would lend me his motorcycle so I could ask you out for a drive later. Or maybe you’ll let me ride on the back of yours sometime?” He came closer, juggling his snacks so he could empty a hand and stick it out to her. “I’m Ollie.”
The woman shot a look at Van that Jordan couldn’t decipher, then beamed as she clasped Ollie’s hand and shook. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kyra. Kason’s drummer.”
“You play the drums and ride motorcycles? I think I’m in love.” Ollie grinned as he popped a cube of cheese into his mouth.
“Ollie falls in love with every woman he meets.” Wren laughed as she took in her friend’s antics.
“Nah, only the super-hot ones like you and Kyra.” Ollie raised his brows at her.
Which was probably when she realized she was standing there between Jordan and Kason, looking guilty as fuck even though nothing inappropriate had been going on.
“Hey Kyra, want to see my hedgehog, Mr. Prickles?” Ollie asked.
She hesitated. “That’s not some pervy euphemism is it?”
Wren laughed and vouched for her garagemate. “No. Ollie’s a good guy, and he really does have the cutest pet ever.”
“Then, hell yes I do.” Kyra held out her arm and Ollie put his through it. They were cracking up about something before they were even halfway up the hill.
Van was staring at them as they retreated.
“I’m fine if you want to go too,” Kason said quietly to his friend. “No one’s going to bug us here.”
Van shook his head, though he wandered toward the snacks as if they were some sort of consolation prize. To be fair, the food was incredible.
“Hi,” Wren said to Kason with a smile. “I’m glad you made it, though I don’t like hearing you were reckless just to get here.”
“You’re worth the risk.” Kason grinned at Wren.
She reached for Kason, smothering him in one of her famous hugs. She was a great hugger. She put her whole body into it, nuzzling Kason’s collarbone as she rubbed his back.
Jordan had to turn around so he wouldn’t get hard seeing her in another man’s arms.
It hurt too much to do that.
Before they could get carried away, someone—Sally, Jordan thought—whistled loud enough to get the attention of every person in attendance plus the woodland creatures in a two-mile radius. Then she shouted, “Before we bring out the cake, Amber has something she wants to say, so pay attention!”
Gavyn, the owner of Hot Rides and Amber’s husband, whipped his head around to find his wife. She was standing near the front of the gathering and gave everyone a jaunty finger wave. Gavyn joined her there. With everyone’s attention on them, she was clearly heard by everyone at the party.
“I know it’s Trevon’s birthday.” Amber met her husband’s bewildered stare. The smile she gave him was so dazzling that Gavyn seemed temporarily stunned, content to look at it and be near her. “But he said he wouldn’t mind if I gave you a present since our friends and family are here with us today.”
Gavyn canted his head and asked, “Me?”
“Oh my God,” Wren whispered. Whether she thought about what she was doing or acted on instinct, she threw a hand out to each side, claspi
ng Jordan’s wrist in one of her hands and Kason’s in the other. “Is she…”
Amber handed Gavyn the glossy black gift bag dangling from one of her fingers. “Go ahead, open it.”
Gavyn made quick work of the tissue paper. And when he withdrew a onesie from inside it, the baby garment looked like doll’s clothing in his huge hand. He stared at it, then looked at Amber, then stared at the onesie again as if he’d seen it wrong, inspiring most of the crowd gathered to crack up.
“A baby?” he asked Amber, with wide eyes, as if afraid to believe it could really be true. “We’re having a baby?”
Jordan couldn’t imagine what that feeling might be like, but the iron bracelet of Wren’s fingers around his wrist told him plainly that she definitely could. He hadn’t realized that was another dream he might have trampled on when he’d left her.
He’d made so many fucking mistakes.
Amber, completely unable to speak further, nodded and threw herself at her husband, who caught her and spun her around while laughing and crying. After he set her down carefully, he showed the onesie to the gathering. A tricycle with flames coming out the back had been imprinted on the garment.
Nola and Ms. Brown—Amber’s sister and mother—rushed the woman while Tom, Quinn, Trevon, and too many other people to keep track of swarmed Gavyn. There was a lot of back slapping and cheering plus excited conversation.
From where they were playing on the sidelines, one of the bigger kids that belonged to the Hot Rods and Powertools—he thought he’d heard Joe call him Nathan—shouted, “Uncle Gavyn, what’s going on?”
The man blinked and grinned as he said, “Looks like you’re going to have another friend to play with.”
Ambrose, Nola and Kaige’s daughter, asked, “Could you make sure it’s a girl this time?”
Everyone cracked up at that, including Holden, who shook his head at his wife, Sabra. “I guess she’s not impressed with our sons, huh?”
“That’s okay, Swinger. I am.” She kissed her husband’s cheek as she watched their twins playing with a toy sailboat in the stream.
“I have no idea how I’m going to remember who’s who around here,” Kason said under his breath with a low whistle.
Jordan could relate. It had taken him a while to get to know everyone. Now that he had, he felt like he had a family again for the first time since his mother had passed away of a heart attack less than a year after his father had lost his battle with brain cancer.
After that, he’d kept to himself until he’d been assigned Johnny as a partner.
And when he’d lost his best friend, too, well… That had been all he could stand. Maybe that was part of why he’d walked away from Wren. He couldn’t bear the thought of loving her more each day only for her to be taken away, so he’d cut his losses on his own terms.
Except he hadn’t really, because here he was, standing right next to her thinking about how gorgeous she was and how sweet she smelled, like her signature lilies.
That’s about when Wren realized she was clutching Kason…and Jordan. She blushed furiously and dropped both of their hands. “Sorry. I got carried away.”
“I like it when you do that.” Kason winked at her.
Jordan wondered if Kason could handle the intricacies of Wren’s life. He’d come into this thing knowing about her past and how it was still something she carried within her, assuming she had really told Kason about what they’d done a few weeks ago.
If Kason wanted her, and it was clear to Jordan that he did by the way the man was staring at her like he wanted to gobble her up more than he wanted to devour a slice of birthday cake, then Kason had to accept all of her.
Including the part that loved Jordan, because after the way she’d reacted to him with compassion and kindness that afternoon in her cottage, Jordan was convinced that although he didn’t deserve those gifts, she did.
Caught between them, Wren looked at Kason, then Jordan. She shook her head and said, “Excuse me a minute. I want to say congratulations.”
Maybe she also needed a breather. Jordan hung back, which meant he was uncomfortably close to Kason. Honestly, that probably would work out fine. He had some things to say to the other man.
“Would you mind stepping inside the garage with me for a minute?” he asked Kason.
The guy turned toward where Van had stuck up a conversation with Alanso. When Jordan focused on them, he realized they were speaking in rapid-fire Spanish in between cracking up about whatever they were discussing. It had taken no time for Kason and his friends to embed themselves in the Hot Rods and Hot Rides family.
Jordan tried not to be disgruntled about that.
“Hey, Van, I’ll be right back,” Kason called then turned toward the garage.
The bodyguard shot Jordan a look that dared him to try anything stupid. No need for that. Jordan just wanted to talk. To make sure Kason understood how special Wren was and that he’d take care of her, including nurturing her unique desires.
“I bet there’s good fishing around here, huh?” Kason asked as he studied the stream glittering in the fall afternoon light.
“Yeah. Even better up at Lake Logan, about ten miles outside of town.” At least they had something safe to talk about. He wasn’t surprised they had more than their infatuation with Wren in common. If he’d met Kason under other circumstances, they might have been friends.
Good friends.
“Wren told me you have a cabin up there. Get out to it much?” Kason wondered as they neared Hot Rides.
“Staying there right now. I’m about halfway through a vacation from work.” Jordan cleared his throat, not really wanting to rehash that. Every day he spent away from the office, he dreaded going back more. And still he hadn’t figured out what else to do.
“I plan to see what’s biting myself next weekend. I’m coming back for a test of the bike Hot Rides are building for me.” Kason grinned. “Picturing Wren working on the damn thing is definitely going to make it my favorite in my collection.”
Jordan snorted. “I don’t have a collection or even a single motorcycle yet, but they’re designing one for me too. Have to say it’s a perk having Wren doing the welding. You know it will be solid.”
“You ever see her work?” Kason asked. “I’m dying to watch her at it. Sparks, electricity, and molten metal. Seems perfect for her.”
They stepped into the building via a side door that led into the stock room. Shelving units lined the walls and made narrow corridors of black metal. Jordan turned and leaned up against one as the door shut with a clang behind them. “It is. She’s tough and capable and likes to toy with dangerous things.”
“Look, it’s obvious that you still love her.” Kason put his hand on Jordan’s shoulder. While Kason’s touch should have made him recoil, he leaned into the contact instead. “I’m not trying to take her away from you or disrespect the history you two share. I’m interested in her, though. Seriously. And I hope you’re okay with me pursuing her given that you chose to let her go.”
“I didn’t choose shit,” Jordan snapped, trying not to be offended. Except he was. “I didn’t ask for my best friend to get killed. It should have been me that day. Only it wasn’t. After that, how could I have acted like everything was fine knowing what I took from her?”
“Sounds to me like you did a hell of a lot more damage when you walked away and left her to grieve on her own.” Kason didn’t say it unkindly, but his words still stung. No, they stabbed Jordan right in the heart.
In pain, he lashed out. “What the hell are you doing giving me shit about leaving the door open for you? Can’t you see how into you Wren is? Are you toying with her or are you stupid?” Jordan snarled. “I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“You’re such a hypocrite.” Kason’s grip turned decidedly less friendly. He rattled Jordan, banging his shoulder against the rack behind him. “You’re the one who crushed an amazing woman because you were struggling with your love for another man.”
“Did Wren tell you that?” Jordan’s hand flashed out and crumpled Kason’s collar in his fist. They were locked together.
“She didn’t have to. It was obvious the night of the concert. I could see it written on your face when I starting singing ‘Secret Love.’ Is that why things fell apart once he’d died? Because you knew that if you stayed with her and her alone, you’d never experience loving a man like you so desperately wanted?”
“Don’t talk about things you can’t understand.”
“How do you know I can’t?” Kason asked, his tone so strangled that Jordan immediately realized he hadn’t imagined the way Kason had looked at him in return the night Kason sang “Secret Love” in his direction.
“You saying we have more in common than fishing, motorcycles, and being attracted to Wren?” Jordan’s training kicked in. The undercover agent in him went on high alert.
Kason wasn’t straight. He was bisexual and wrestling with it, too. Fuck. That was irresistible to Jordan. No one should ever feel like the love they had to give was unwanted.
Instead of using his grip on Kason’s collar to hold him still while he clocked the guy, he used it to drag him closer instead. He growled, “Tell me if I’m reading this wrong.”
Kason blinked, but didn’t say a word.
So Jordan crushed his mouth over the other guy’s. Not because he was angry or trying to subjugate him, but because he had waited years for the chance to share this with someone.
Who better than another guy who’d grappled with this part of himself, attempting futilely to suppress it?
Well, maybe someone his ex-girlfriend wasn’t into would have been ideal. If every single one of his brain cells hadn’t been overwhelmed with the feel of Kason—so different than the women he’d been with—and the possibility that his deepest desires might finally be fulfilled, Jordan probably would have thought about Wren and the impact fooling around with Kason could have on her for more than a millisecond.
He pressed his chest to Kason’s, walking forward as he nudged the other guy back.
