by Jayne Rylon
“Kason, why don’t you strip too?” he asked, wanting to see how much they impacted him.
The other man did, getting rid of his clothes while Jordan and Wren shared another kiss, this one far less gentle or patient.
“Damn, that’s so sexy,” he groaned as he climbed into bed and wrapped his hand around his own shaft. He aimed his phone to make sure they could see exactly how hard he was while witnessing their shared affection. “Jordan, will you suck on her tits for me? I wanted to so bad and I didn’t get the chance.”
“Sure.” Jordan grinned, happy to oblige. He spent some quality time filling his mouth with Wren’s soft flesh, tugging on her nipples with his teeth the way she liked best. She arched and moaned, her legs coming around his waist to lock him close to her.
“Don’t worry,” he whispered to her. “I’m not going anywhere. Not tonight and not ever.”
“Fuck.” Kason groaned as they kissed and rubbed their bodies together, enjoying the energy that consumed them when they touched skin-on-skin.
“I can’t wait to be inside you again,” Jordan rasped. “It’s been so long. I need my dick in you.”
“You guys didn’t…” Kason asked on a pant.
“No,” Wren promised him. “You’ll be here with us when we fuck for the first time since we got back together. Do you like that?”
“Yes!” he shouted.
“Will you try to come with us?” Wren wondered.
“Yes!” Kason cried out again.
Jordan aimed his cock at Wren’s pussy and advanced. He’d barely made contact with her hot, slick flesh when a loud bang startled him.
“What the fuck is that?” he asked, his gaze shifting to the phone screen.
Several more thuds blasted from the speaker followed by someone shouting, “Kason, open up! I know you’re in there. We need to talk.”
The other man’s face went blank and his cheeks drained of color. His cock went from ready to explode to wilting in a matter of seconds.
“Who the fuck is that?” Jordan asked.
Kason muffled the phone, taking it off of speaker. He whispered, “It’s Rick, my manager. I’m going to mute you for a minute. Be right back.”
He threw his sheet over the phone so everything on their screen went black. Jordan instantly rebelled against being Kason’s dirty little secret, left in the dark. He’d already been through that phase in his life.
Wren must have realized what he was thinking. She curled up tighter against him and hugged him.
Meanwhile, Kason must have opened his door.
“Who were you talking to in there?” Rick sounded clearer now, as if he’d poked his head in Kason’s room at the back of the bus.
Kason laughed, though it wasn’t genuine. “I was watching porn. Got a problem with that?”
His voice held an edge Jordan hadn’t heard from him before. Was his manager the one giving him a hard time? Jordan promised himself he’d put his agent skills to good use checking the man out in the morning.
“Considering we were supposed to talk about the summer concert series contract before you left town, yeah, I’d prefer if we could get that out of the way before you jack off and pass out,” Rick said. “Get dressed and meet me out at the table in the front of the bus. You’re holding everyone up. It’s an eight-hour drive to the next city.”
“Shit. Sorry. I totally forgot. I’ll be right there.” Kason sounded defeated. Completely unlike himself.
The door slammed, and then Kason appeared in front of them. He whispered, “Gotta go. Sorry.”
Since he couldn’t hear them, Wren blew him a kiss. But the picture cut off as he hung up on them. Jordan wasn’t sure the other guy had even seen her sweet gesture.
He was horny, and frustrated, and irritated at the same time.
Kason had the potential to hurt Wren, which Jordan didn’t like at all. Maybe he was letting his desires put her in danger again.
“Should we keep going?” Jordan was torn. He wanted to make slow, sweet love to Wren. But it felt weird now that it was just the two of them again. Like they were cheating on Kason, who’d helped to get them both so fired up.
“Would you hate me if I said I wanted to wait?” Wren put her hand over her face. “I mean, I don’t want to, but I feel like it might be the right thing to do.”
“Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?” Maybe it would help him understand why he did too.
“I don’t want whoever we end up with to look at us as a couple and themselves as the third wheel, you know?” Wren sighed. “Especially if we can make things work with Kason, like I hope. It’s important for him to feel equal. He’s already so tormented by this. I’m afraid of making things worse. He needs to feel accepted and loved by us.”
Jordan nodded. That made a lot of sense, actually. As much as his cock objected, he resigned himself to another platonic night in Wren’s bed. “I’m happy to simply be here with you. Let me hold you at least?”
“Yeah.” She snuggled up to his side.
It took a while before either of them settled enough to be sleepy, but when she did, Wren dozed off in the shelter of Jordan’s arms. It was one of the best nights of his life, even if he didn’t get to relieve the pressure building between them.
20
Kason felt like a kid called to the principal’s office. He made the trek from his admittedly luxurious bedroom at the back of the tour bus, past the bathroom and down the hall that was lined with six bunks, three on each side, where Kyra, the rest of the band, and Van slept. He emerged into the common space that held a long leather sectional, two recliners on swivels that could face out the front windows or into the living room, a kitchenette, and a glossy fancy-wood table that seated four.
That’s where Rick Rosner had situated himself. Although it was nearing midnight, the asshole was still in his full suit and tie complete with a gaudy gold watch that Kason’s hard work had paid for. Not that the guy didn’t deserve his cut. He was a ruthless negotiator and had always pushed Kason to the next level.
Only now that he was at the top of his game did Rick start to grate.
The sooner they got this shit taken care of, the sooner they could leave Los Angeles and good ol’ Rick behind for a while. The next leg of the tour would carry them toward the heart of the country, and Hot Rides territory—well, within a few hundred miles anyway.
Something about the look Rick shot Kason put him on edge.
Kyra and Van were splayed out on the couch while Kyra kicked Van’s ass at one of the video games she enjoyed so much. It irked Van to no end since he was actually a trained security specialist and she out-played him in nearly every first-person shooter they brought on the bus.
The other guys were either in their bunks with the curtains drawn or out in the parking lot stretching their legs—or scratching a few itches with groupies—before another long drive. Kason didn’t blame them.
He slid into a seat at the table, sitting on his hands so Rick wouldn’t have any indication that he was nervous. And he was, given what he’d just been doing and the warning Rick had given Kason a couple years ago.
Kason sat across the table from his manager and acted like everything was cool. “Where do I need to sign?”
“You don’t want to hear about the proposal?” Rick didn’t seem surprised.
“No. You know what I wanted and I assume you did your job like you always do to get it.” Kason shrugged one shoulder. “Am I wrong?”
“You’re not.” Rick sat up straighter and flashed a sharkish grin. “I got what we discussed, plus an extra twenty percent.”
“Nice. Thanks.” Kason hoped they wrapped this up quick enough for him to call Wren and Jordan back. What were they doing right then?
He couldn’t think about that or things would get even more uncomfortable than they were already.
From a leather briefcase, Rick withdrew a contract and put it in front of Kason before laying a gleaming gold pen on top with the tip resting on
a long black line. “Sign here.”
Kason did.
And that’s when Rick sprung his trap.
“You’re lucky that’s fucking locked in. Are you trying to make my job impossible?” Rick glared as he snatched the contract, slipped it in his briefcase, and snapped the thing closed.
Out of the corner of Kason’s eye, he saw Van’s posture change slightly.
Then Kyra gave a whoop and fist pump. “Got you!” She didn’t realize Van had stopped playing and was working, paying close attention to what was about to go down at the table. It was nice to know that if Kason needed backup, he’d…probably…have it. Van hadn’t said a single word to him about what had happened at Hot Rides yesterday. Kyra either.
There’d been a lot of tense silences around the stage today. And it was about to get worse.
“I think the quality of my performances has been pretty damn great this time out, considering I’m sober. And the music I’ve been writing in the past month or so…Well, I’m actually proud of it again,” Kason said quietly. “What do you have to complain about?”
“This.” Rick took another stack of papers from the case and slapped them on the table. “Why is Allied Online writing stories about you?”
Kason blinked. He tried to think of a way to explain the photograph lying there. A full-width picture of him singing “Secret Love” to Jordan—him crouched down, Jordan in their front row, their eyes locked—followed by a snarky headline that Rick was too happy to read, loudly, in a smarmy tone. “‘Kason Cox gets in touch with his cocky side, making gay men swoon across the internet.’”
The gossip magazine had then done what looked like a surprisingly insightful piece about his interaction that night along with a mention of rumors of Kason’s close relationship with his childhood best friend, who had recently come out. Well, not so recently. More like a few years ago. Right after he’d professed his crush and tried to kiss Kason, who’d bolted—both because he didn’t reciprocate those feelings, and because he thought he might like to try kissing his friend anyway. Right before everything had started circling the drain in Kason’s personal life.
Kyra and Van had both set aside their game controllers and were trying not to look at him as Rick ripped him a new one.
“It’s not only your life you have to consider, Kason.” Spittle dotted the papers on the table as Rick got riled up. “You need to think about the people who make a living running this operation. Your band mates. The security team. Hell, even me. I bank on your popularity and if you fuck with that, you fuck with me.”
Kason couldn’t stand to be wrong and this time he was.
Van started to rise from the couch, but Kason held out a hand in his friend’s direction. Kason had gotten them into this and he would take care of it. Van had a right to be pissed, as did Kyra, who Van was now holding back.
Rick was right. Kason was risking the livelihoods of dozens of people who’d only ever fought for his success. He couldn’t repay them this way.
“I’ve made you into a star from nothing. Don’t you dare fuck it up after I’ve invested so much of my own career into yours. If you need to get high again, I’d rather that. At least that’s becoming of a country-rock god.” Rick stood then, swiping the papers off the table and into his briefcase. He snatched it up and stormed out of the bus, slamming the door behind him.
Kason slumped at the table. As if it wasn’t bad enough that his friends had witnessed him losing his mind over Jordan the day before. Now this.
He had to face them, and apologize for letting them—and everyone else—down.
Kason cleared his throat, rage simmering beneath his shame and embarrassment. He pointed first at Van and then at Kyra. “Which one of you blabbed to Rick about yesterday?”
Van stepped in front of Kyra, protecting her as always. Even if it had been her who ratted him out, Van would take the fall and Kyra wouldn’t notice. They were just as fucked up as he was.
She shoved Van aside and met Kason’s gaze. “Neither of us would betray you like that, revealing your private business. We didn’t say a word.”
Kason looked from one to the other, carefully scrutinizing their expressions. He believed her and added being a dick to his list of sins.
But now that it was there, out in the open between them, it seemed they had more to say about it.
“When were you going to tell us?” Van asked quietly.
“I wasn’t.” Kason crossed his arms. He hadn’t planned on acting on his unwise urges, for exactly these reasons. Look at the chaos it was causing. Rick had told him it would, warned him, three years ago when he’d caught Kason about to make out with his old friend, who’d surprised him at a show near their hometown, despite the fact that he’d be taking advantage of the man’s emotions.
Until Jordan, and Wren, he’d never been tempted to make the same mistake again.
“Obviously.” The other guy frowned. “I’ll remember from now on that I’m strictly your employee.”
“Fuck that, Van. You know that’s bullshit.”
“No, I don’t. First it was sneaking around for the gambling and the drinking. The drugs. And now this.” Van shook his head. “I’m not some redneck bigot. As long as your partners treat you well and don’t jeopardize your safety, I don’t care who you sleep with. So why all the secrets? I don’t know how much more I can put up with. What’s next?”
“Nothing.” Kason pivoted, staring straight ahead, where he needed to focus. “I’m going to be a robot. I’ll sing and dance and do what I need to so you guys can ride the gravy train until I’m old and ugly and my voice goes to hell and no one gives a fuck about me anymore and the money runs out. Who’ll be left by my side then? Will you?”
Van stumbled backward, nearly crashing into the couch. He didn’t say anything for a solid ten seconds. Then he said, “Not if you keep treating me like the help. Fuck you. Fuck this. I’m out.”
Kason choked on the pathetic shout that clawed to escape his throat and call Van back.
Everything Rick had promised would happen was coming true. Kason’s dick and his poor choices were already ripping everything he’d worked his whole life for to shreds. And he was nearly willing to give it up to dash into his bedroom and call Jordan and Wren back right then.
He needed to hear their voices. See them smiling. And hope that everything would be okay.
If this was only about him, he just might.
He picked up his phone. Unlocked it. Relocked it. Unlocked it. Relocked it.
Then he threw the fucking thing against the wall and watched it shatter into a billion pieces, like his heart and soul.
Kyra’s shriek jolted him from the pit of darkness about to swallow him. He’d forgotten she was there. She raced to his side and put her hands on his biceps. “Kason, please. Calm down. We’ll figure this out. It’s going to be okay.”
“Were you listening to anything that Rick said?” He didn’t mean to yell at her and hated the flash of fear that nearly made her recoil from him.
“He’s a slimy bastard who’s only looking out for himself.” Kyra leaned in, getting right in his face. “I promise you I have a lot more to say about that. But if you can wait a few minutes, I think I should get Van back here first. We have the whole night to talk about this.”
“There’s nothing more to say.” Kason put his head in his hands, mortified because of how he’d acted and the things he’d done to bring this on in the first place. “Find him. Please.”
Kyra peered at Kason, her eyes glittering, then out the front of the bus, where there was no sign of Van. She bit her lip. Her voice shredded as she said, “I can’t decide who needs me more, you or him.”
Kason looked up at her and told the biggest lie of his life. “I want to be alone. Go.”
Kyra threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. “It’s going to be okay, Kason. I get it, and Van will too once he has time to cool off. This is why you tried those other things, to fill the void. You’ll figure this out, wi
th Jordan or someone else.”
Oh yeah, he hadn’t even told them the juicy part about how he wanted both Jordan and Wren, at the same time even.
How could they ever accept his sordid desires? Like Rick had said, being bisexual would be enough to sink him. Poly too? Forget about it. Jordan and Wren might have the freedom to love whoever they wanted, but he—fettered by golden handcuffs—didn’t have that luxury.
He stared at his hands and said again, “Go.”
“I’ll be back as quickly as I can be. Do you want me to send in anyone else to keep you company and…safe…until I get back?”
“Thank you, but I’ll be okay.” He had to be or the same fate awaited his team. He wasn’t going to let them down. “I swear.”
“Okay. See you soon then. We’ve got your back, Kason.” She kissed his cheek and smoothed his ruffled hair.
“I don’t deserve you guys.”
“Nope, but we love you anyway,” she said with a sad smile as she jogged down the stairs and out of the bus. He didn’t hold it against her when she locked the door with the external keypad on the front that he’d never bothered to learn the code to so that he couldn’t get out and do more harm to himself and the people who relied on him.
He’d earned her skepticism.
Kason was glad he’d smashed his phone because even now, after all that had happened and how close to disaster he’d come because of desires he couldn’t control, he still wanted to call Jordan and Wren. To talk through his crisis or so they could make him forget his problems. Either would be fine with him.
But like Van, Kyra, and Rick had taken the alcohol, drugs, and access to gambling sites out of his reach, now Wren and Jordan were beyond his grasp also.
He hoped at least that they were having a hell of a time together.
Without him.
21
Van decided he’d had enough. It was his job to look out for Kason and he was going to do what was necessary to make sure his friend didn’t go off the deep end…again. He’d spent the past week staggering through life like a zombie. Most of the time he wasn’t performing, he spent sleeping or pretending to, shut in the opulent bedroom of the tour bus.
